By Andrew Kohn

Cupcakes are delicious. I love cupcakes. I draw my culinary Maginot line, however, with those cupcakes purchased from boutique bakeries throughout our region. This, of course, if a gross generalization - have I eaten some spongy goodness from every small business? No. But I've had enough to know what's good and what's not. And what's even more shocking to me is that simple cake should be something every American holds at minimum a master's degree in; all of us have eaten it since our first kindergarten birthday. We should all know what's average - but the cupcake craze has come and continues and continues and continues.

Anyone can make a cupcake if they try. It's not cassoulet. It's not even a sheet cake. Dollops of batter lovingly plopped into cheerfully decorated paper wrappers, they're virtually impossible to destroy; any easy-to-follow recipe can be had on the Internet or on a bag of flour. Sure they'll take about 30 minutes from start to finish, but the final product will be more than worth the effort. And I promise, they will taste just as good - if not better - than those you've purchased and you'll get a dozen for the cost of just one.

Store bought cupcakes are convenient. I agree. And the icing is usually tasty. But a great cupcake should be like a fifty-year marriage between cake and icing - comfortable, seamless, and complimentary. If you need some sugar, buy a tub of Duncan Hines and grab a spoon! Don't spend $3.50 for a few tablespoons of creatively flavored cream cheese or butter cream with a chunk of mediocre cake. If you don't bake because you only want one, eat your one and bring the rest to work. You'd be amazed at the co-worker goodwill created with baked goods.

As the weather gets warmer, I can comfort myself with the knowledge that our minds will soon turn to frozen yogurt and the super hip tartness scale. I say break free from the hold of these boutique bakeries! Leave them to the cake making; the cupcake is their version of the checkout aisle chocolate bar. It's impulsive and costly - the grande latte of the bakery world! You have a Jacques Torres within you...just set him free!

Editor's (JAY's) note:

"Men, buy my 'shocolate,' the ladies will love you...ladies beware, I'm eating some now." ;)

Disclaimer: Arteries WERE harmed in the filming of this video.
This footage of Alexandria chip shop "Eamonn's Dublin Chipper" didn't make Bordain's Show, No Reservations.

When the proprietor talked about healthy food...Bordain HAD to tease him, which was entertaining. :) With scenes such as Bordain Eating A Buttered French Fry Sandwich, I had to watch the video with my hands in front of my eyes (through the slits of my fingers) like a horror movie or
She's Just Not That Into You. :)

Daniel Delaney of On The Fly pointed me at his video coverage of a DC Food Truck. On The Fly's videos focus on street food. I'd be happy to recommend some street food in NYC and DC if Daniel is interested. Pupatella and Pedro and Vinny's come to mind. :)

In On The Fly's Words:

"We ventured to Obamaland to visit On The Fly, a brand new mobile vending outfit which is easily the most green around. From the plug in cars to their hard wired ovens, On the Fly operates an entirely electric operation. And their food, all locally grown and produced. Now that's Eco-Vending!"

What Going Green has to say:

"When I first heard about SmartKarts from one of On the Fly's founders late one night at a dive bar on U Street, I was intrigued. Here's the deal: SmartKarts are funky looking, zero-emission electric trucks where you can buy locally sourced food (to cut back on those nasty carbon emissions). The company says they also try to stick to organically farmed, chemical-free food whenever possible."

By Andrew Kohn

Some of you are probably asking where Takoma Park is located, let alone what this explosion is all about?! As a resident of Takoma Park, I can happily inform you that we are on the Red Line - in Maryland - located at the stop right before Silver Spring as you leave the city, appropriately named Takoma Park. We currently have three restaurants in the downtown: Mark's Kitchen, Middle Eastern Cuisine and Market, and the Olive Lounge and Grill.

I recently ate at the Olive Lounge and Grill. An exceptional restaurant in Old Town if for no other reason then because it serves alcohol! I moved to the city knowing full well that law allowed no restaurant in the area to serve alcohol. (And it's a testament to my love of the area that I still moved here after this full disclosure!) With the alcoholic about-face, however, restaurants are moving into the area left and right. Or should I say, I know of one new pizza location ready to open (soon?) - but I admit I only know this because of the sign in their window. There is talk of a few more establishments opening up in the next few months although there is very little outward evidence to support these rumors. With three restaurants already opened, adding to that number by one will increase our options by 25% - and that's an explosion!

At the Olive Lounge, a small cozy backroom restaurant accessible from the parking lot, we started with hummus and pita with falafel. The falafel was tasty, if not a tad bit dry, and the hummus was a true delight! For mains, I had a feta and jalapeno stuffed burger. Tasty for the price and there were tons of fries to munch on as well. And the fries went well with the extra order of onion rings - a treat we were told to order - and they were very nice. Not breaded but battered (my favorite), they were golden brown and, when you took a bite, the entire onion didn't come out of its tasty casing in one large, long piece.

There were four beers on tap - predictable but good (Dominion, etc). And this isn't too shabby when you consider there was no alcohol in this area just a few months ago! There are also numerous beers by the bottle and organic red and white wines. Another great quality of the lounge, besides the fact I can walk there, is the price. For the quality of food, the price was wonderful! For a starter, two burgers, extra onion rings, and two beers we paid about $35 - a deal is a deal is a deal! Come on out and give the Olive's a try - you won't be disappointed!

By Guest Blogger Trish King

Ireland's Four Providences is my favorite Irish pub; the atmosphere is relaxing, the owners and staff are very friendly, they have outside seating in the warmer months and serve breakfast all day. They also have a very delicious Irish fare menu, including the Guinness stew and fish and chips. Saturday nights are busy and they have live Irish music and quiz night on Wednesday nights if you have not been to a quiz night before I highly recommend attending one; it is one large trivial pursuit game with groups, and is played quite often in the UK pubs. Now that you've had the introduction to the "4 P's"...let's get down to business!

I absolutely love breakfast, but not just any breakfast! I looked high and low to find the same type of breakfast when I returned from the UK, and the best place I found in the area to get my favorite meal is Ireland's Four Providences in Falls Church, VA.

The "full breakfast" starts with eggs poached to perfection until the white is firm with soft golden yolks that pours out over your warm buttered toasted brown bread as you cut into it. Then you add good thin sliced rasher, a type of bacon that is very different from our bacon because it is all meat, not all fat. (The only other place so far that I have found the rashers that are similar to what I happily devoured in the UK is at the Amish Country Farmer's Market in Easton MD). The breakfast also comes with sausage, black pudding (known to Americans as blood pudding - very tasty with spices and oats and is a must try), white pudding (ground pork with oats, and spices), fried plump tomato slices with cooked mushrooms, potatoes that are cubed or hand cut and fried, and last but not least Heinz baked beans in a not too sweet tomato sauce. You might think the beans are little weird, but believe me, they are delicious!

Yes, all of this translates to one loaded fork for breakfast! This meal is very filling and is meant to keep you going all day, and it definitely does.

A year ago I wrote about local belt designer/crafter Jon Wye's waffle buckle. Jon has done it again - not only does he still produce waffle, coffee cup, and cherry pie buckles, but he is now appealing to the inner ship's cook in you with pirate chef wear.

His pirate chef designs include the t-shirt, apron, and brand new belt. Click on the link to the belt for a DCFUD preview price of $55 instead of the regular $65, which it will be soon.

He displays his wares at various events including the upcoming, "BowWow PowWow" in Adam's Morgan. It's mostly catered for dogs, but he will have most of his human stuff as well. :)

BowWow PowWow
Sunday April 26, 2009 from 11:00am - 5:00pm
Marie Reed Elementary School
1830 Connecticut Ave.
Washington, D.C., District of Columbia 20009