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December 15, 2004


Bloody American Guacamole

guacamole.jpgI assume I preach to the choir when I say that Chipolte is the best faux Mexican food known to Man and Martian. But alas! What do you do when the sensuous squish of guacamole is not close to hand? What if, to save the world, you have been forced to travel to Ohio? Or… Uxbridge, England?

Do not despair! This is the fake recipe for Chipotle Guacumole that I painstakingly worked out last spring*, much to the horror of my extremely English roommates.

  1. Peel one large ripe avocado. To pit easily, slice all around circumference and twist.
    Ai? Ai, wass all this then? 'S all green, inn'it!

  2. Squeeze in one teaspoon of lime juice or more to taste- fresh only
    Ai Wambah, lookit what the bloody american's doin-S' note right, that!.

  3. Add half a cup of cilantro, chopped, half a small red onion, minced, and a clove of minced garlic
    Cor! It smells loik a bloody cafeh-teeria in here, you wankah!

  4. Chop up a large chille and add to taste, sprinkle with kosher salt
    Well it don’t taste nice t’ awl, Claaaair, s' your turn to do thah dishes, thah American's made’t smehl all foul!

  5. Mash only till there are large chunks, eat with nachos
    Bloody americans.

*With a little help from http://www.wcpo.com/recipes/2003/05/03.html

Posted by zaf at December 15, 2004 9:36 PM

 

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Comments

Dude your guac recipe is right on. A year or so ago I was actually lame enough to beforend some Chipotle workers, but only long enough to obtain what I needed. Now I enjoy the green smash privately in my own home with out hear those painfull words "guacamole extra....dollar twenty five"

Take that Chipotle!

Posted by: Scott at December 16, 2004 1:01 PM

Thanks! Consider it the result of much...research (stuffing my face)

Posted by: zaf at December 16, 2004 1:40 PM

Great, simple guac recipe ... and with guacamole I think the rule is, "The simpler, the better." My only quibble would be with the amount of chopped cilantro (1/2 cup) which seems like so much that it would become the overwhelmingly dominant flavor. That's at least extremely loosely packed, right?

Posted by: Nate at December 16, 2004 2:04 PM

You are absolutely right nate, but lets not be pessimists- Instead of halfing the amount of cilantro, lets double everything else.

Posted by: zaf at December 16, 2004 4:22 PM

I made almost this exact guacamole in one of my cooking classes in Japan. Went great with sopapillas! I would suggest using cayenne pepper (togarasi powder for those in the Japan know) It works great with those red onions.

Posted by: Travis at December 20, 2004 3:22 AM

 

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December 15, 2004