Bitter veggies

It is the season for yodeler-divas to warble heartfelt, smooth rock remixes of german christmas carols from every retail loudspeaker. It is the season for every distant dad to play caring parent long enough for photos of their nuclear family smiling around a fireplace to send with holiday cards. It is, apparently, the season for dcfud to get really bitter and wordy.

But if you think dcfud is bitter, we can’t hold a candle to the awesomeness of great Horseradish. You may just know it as that nasty stuff that you put on your matzo on Passover, but baby you don’t know nothing yet. The enzymes in this ingredient are used in all kinds of medicine for cancer, AIDS, and that old favorite, leprosy- and if that wasn’t enough, you can eat it too.

Here is a recipe for horseradish Mayo. Throw it at the next coworker you catch humming “Winter Wonderland” under her breath.

1. Combine 1 egg, salt, half a lemon’s worth of juice, and a tablespoon of mustard in a blender

2. With the motor running, add a cup of veggie oil in a sloooow stream until everything is light and creamy.

3. Add three tablespoons of fresh grated horseradish. Bitch about holiday commercialism until someone bites you.