Ecto Pie

When it comes to the cook v.s. baker dichotomy, I definitely fall in the "cook" category. I have nothing but disdain for this "measuring" thing people always talk about. I'm not good with things like electric mixers. I don't own a rolling pin, and try to make pies using a Pam can instead. I don't even like dessert.

But since I'm competent in the kitchen, there invariably comes a time when I'm asked to bring dessert to a party, bbq or other gathering. I dread it, but also tend to accept the challenge rather than showing up with a frozen pie or box of Entenmann's.

My biggest problem is the whole appearance thing. Chalk it up to my lack of artistic talent, my klutziness or my impatience, but while my desserts usually taste reasonably good, they tend to look, well, kind of unappetizing.

The double-layer Key Lime pies I made for two friends' bbqs last weekend were no exception. Adapting a recipe I saw once in Gourmet magazine, the pies certainly were impressive on the effort scale; there were homemade crusts, custards and cheesecake-like concoctions with which to contend. And I could tell as I tasted my progress that they were going to be yummy in the end. The problem? They were ugly.

My first thought was to use decorative whipped cream to make amends. Perhaps some green food coloring would add a touch of whimsy to the pies' appearance. Not so much. I even tried adding a layer of kiwi fruit to mask the disastrous results, but there was no salvaging things. The Slimer-reminiscent result could only be known as Ecto Pie.

Still, you couldn't say the dessert wasn't a conversation piece, and it still turned out delicious. Here's the recipe, but for those who can manage to whip up a picturesque pie, leave the layer of whipped cream and fruit out of it.

Ecto Pie
(adapted from Two-Layer Key Lime Pie from Gourmet magazine)

a little less than 1 cup granola (regular – avoid anything with
raisins or fruit)
the same amount of graham cracker crumbs
1 stick unsalted butter
1 cans plus ½ cup sweetened condensed milk
some sugar
about a cup of Key Lime juice
3 large egg yolks
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
a touch of vanilla extract
some whipped cream
Green food coloring
Two kiwis

Preheat your oven to 350. Blend granola in food processor. Mix with granola, along with about a half stick of unsalted butter and a touch of sugar. Press into pie pan, and bake until brown (8 minutesish). Let cool.

While your crust is cooking, whisk together 1 can of condensed milk, about a half cup of lime juice and the egg yolks. Poor into cooled crush and bake until the custard is set (around 25 minutes). Cool until about room temperature.

Beat cream cheese, ½ cup of condensed milk, about a quarter cup lime juice, a bit of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla with electric mixer. Poor over baked layer and smooth top. Refrigerate for four hours or overnight.

Whimsical Option: Mix food coloring with whipped cream and spread over top. Slice two kiwis and layer over pie. Prepare to be mocked by your friends.