Brazil Dreams

When I dream of Brazil, which is often, I think of deep fried pastries, thick bean stew, and gorgeous dark-haired chicks in the type of clothing I’d reserve for a FUD edible body-topping test (volunteers?). So it’s unfortunate that when Churrascaria of Rockville dreams about Brazil, they think of lumps of meat heated up till they turn brown.

A large dining room, where the décor can only be described as ‘eighties yacht club’, is the scene for this culinary oddity. For a surprisingly high price, each overawed soccer family and aging tourist gets all they can eat Braziliana: A large, lackluster buffet of cold pasta salad, canned corn, and dubious shellfish, and a hot one with traditional Brazilian fare like ‘lasagna’ and ‘oily chicken’.

But that’s alright because the real point of this meal is Meat Lumps. They're carried on long spits, three at a time or as whole steaks skewered through the middle. It floats by on barges, servers at the ready with knife and fork. Some of it is very nice. But the vast majority I found fatty, rubbery, and overcooked. A piece of wood painted red and green sits at each table. Green means bring on the roast beef, lamb kabab, and ribs, red means for the love of god, don’t.

Every once in a while, conversation stops so that the servers can sing happy birthday to a giggling Midwesterner. It’s that kind of restaurant, the kind that’s only one step away from the deadly ‘hi my name is Jen and I’ll be your server tonight’. I highly recommend it if you have an aging aunt from Minnesota. She’s sure to say things like ‘cute’ and ‘exotic’. Otherwise, I’m still at a loss to figure this place out at all.

Greenfield Churrascaria
1801 Rockville Pike
301 8813397