Apartment Basil

Looking longingly ahead to springtime, my vow next year is to maintain a more comprehensive apartment windowsill herb garden. The next best thing to fresh basil is freshly dried basil from one's own basil plant, although I prefer dried basil in most recipes because it's lost that raw flavor. I purchased a basil plant in early September and was able to keep it going indoors for two months into the start of winter by clipping new growth frequently. I let clipped shoots dry completely, then store the leaves whole because I figure they'll oxidize and lose flavor more slowly.

Orzo is a quick solution to coming home from work hungry and without the patience/energy required to make something more involving. I use frozen soybeans (edamame) because they add protein and create a balanced meal in a single dish, and because their mild flavor combines well with the basil.

1. Bring two cups of water to a boil, then add two tablespoons of olive oil and a teaspoon or two of salt. I tend to add more than this, but I'm a salt fiend.

2. Add about 2/3 cup soybeans, no less than a half tablespoon of dried basil, a pinch of tarragon, and maybe some freshly ground black pepper, and cook for about 5-10 minutes, depending on how tender you want the beans to get.

3. Add about 2/3 cup orzo, bring to a boil, and lower the heat to a simmer. Cook until the orzo is tender and all water is absorbed or boiled off, usually just over five minutes.

Noodles, Food of the Gods

Several weeks ago, DCist discussed the best places to eat in Washington, D.C.'s rather mediocre Chinatown. We here at DCFUD have eaten at many of the restaurants in Chinatown, including the fabled Full Kee, and there's no doubt in our mind. The best chinese inside the D.C. city limits is at Chinatown Express. For $4.95, you get a plate of the best noodles in the city -- fried, with chicken or beef, or in soup. And for entertainment you can watch the chef make the noodles out front (see picture at right). Order delicious pork dumplings for an appetizer, and you have a chinese meal that might actually not leave you hungry again in an hour.

And as a special aside, zaf recommends you eat large quantities on the special sauce on the table. It's in a clear, circular plastic container and looks like oil with green bits floating in it. We have no idea what it is called, but it consists of garlic, chives, and ginger, coated with hot oil and then cooled. The last time the DCFUD team made a visit to Chinatown Express, five of us managed to polish off half the container.

Chinatown Express | 746 Sixth St., NW

Image Courtesy http://www.vilimpoc.org.

Theobromine my ...

All right, I've had enough. I'm not having this discussion any more.

Your Red Zinger is not about caffeine. You are not "wired" after two cups of Lipton.

- W

P.S. The next tea-totaler to sneer "addict" at me before 8am is getting bit.

Lack of Tomato...Continued

The tomato shortage rolls on. Much beloved Soho Tea and Coffee on P and 22nd today joined the list of DC restaurants no longer offering tomatoes due to a mix of hurricanes, floods, and bugs with a very specific palate.

‘They're picking them early because there's a demand’ complains the Washington Post in this article. So even if you can get them, they’ll taste like…an early picked tomato.

Al-Tiramisu

I went with my parents and grandmother this past Sunday evening to dinner at Al-Tiramisu, which has been at 2014 P St, NW for a little over nine years, and gets consistently good reviews. I’d never been before, but will almost certainly go back. I arrived about five minutes late (e.g., On Time), to find my relatives already seated at a very small booth in one corner. The booth had been billed as “cozy,” which it certainly would have been for two sets of Olsen twins. For four real people, it was a bit cramped. Drinks had already been ordered (and brought...I may be predictable but a Ketel One and tonic is hard to beat!), and my slow-to-decide parents had already heard about the specials. The waiter did not repeat them for me, except by name - I had to probe repeatedly as to preparation and accompaniments. The gorgeous (and expensive) wine list included only three by the glass reds: a high-alcohol but otherwise tasteless Cabernet; dull Chianti; and a Merlot no one tried.

Once it was delivered (again at much prompting) the bread was delicious - a hearty farmhouse and a divine foccacia, the latter of which did not need the olive oil never brought. The black olive tapenade was nice...very, very mild, sortof a background flavor more than a topping, but good as a palate cleanser.

Every single table around us was engaged in its own discussion of the real estate market. Yes, we are in DC.

We finally ordered. My dad and I both started with the fennel and orange salad, which was very good. The fennel was much milder than I usually expect, and set off the oranges beautifully with the olive oil dressing. My mother had a half order of the gnocchi (they were happy to accommodate this), which were excellent. Not at all greasy or heavy, in a light tomato sauce that was just a bit sweet and a tad tangy. This was identified as the chef's signature dish, and it's clear why. My grandmother had the caprese, which came with bright fresh basil, really nice mozzarella, and unfortunately grainy, tasteless tomatoes. Hey, there's a shortage, so I forgive them.

At the next table over, one woman - six of whom could have sat comfortably in our booth - was blabbing on and on about how she only wanted to spend 1.5 but was willing to go to 3 if necessary. I assume she meant $million. The phrase "just peanuts" came up a few times.

For the main course, I ordered the Duck, which came in a honey balsamic sauce, with a ball of polenta and precisely two slices of grilled zucchini and one of carrot. It tasted great. The sauce had enough herb in it (sage and rosemary, I think) that it was not at all too sweet. I love vegetables, however, and would have liked more of them. My mother got silver snapper, which tasted fine to me (though I'm not a snapper fan at all), but she thought was excellent. Ditto my grandmother's Dover sole. Dad got the special veal chop, which was the Clear Winner: it came in a port wine and fig sauce, was not too heavy, and was prettily presented.

The skinny woman is biting the 'stem' part off her basil leaves, and only eating the leafy bits.

The second course was slow in coming, and our server was in no hurry to take dessert orders. He did, finally, and we got two desserts and two coffees. The espresso was perfectly nice (better than Starbucks, not quite Andalus), and the decaf cappuccino was (besides pointless) very tasty. The tartufo was very good, if frozen a bit too hard, and the lemon tart was nice, but not very lemony (which my grandmother announced to the whole restaurant - at 91, she knows she can get away with it).

The food was, overall, very good, but for the price (about $240, plus tip); we felt we'd received entirely second class service. First, we were put in this cramped booth despite the place not being very full at all (there were plenty of better tables), and were assured it was the best spot. Then, my dad spilled his whiskey (he was clearly not drunk, the glass was just slippery), and was not even offered another. At any other restaurant, another would have been brought immediately. As I said, there were lags between courses, and the bread required prompting (and we never got the oil that appeared at other tables). My mom got the impression that all this was due to our not being regulars...the hostess did seem to know someone at almost every other table.

All in all, we will almost certainly go back (since there is so much on the menu that looks so good), but probably only on a special occasion.

A tale of two Sakes

Pardon her headline but z’s brain is beating on the insides of her skull with the empty remains of a Hakutsuru Draft Sake bottle. In terms of taste, this stuff is the equivalent of Sprite mixed with soy milk - watery, vaguely cereal-flavored, deceptively drinkable, and in such a cute little bottle that you might miss the 15% alcohol content printed on it.

Do not repeat Z’s mistake- if you are searching for a nontraditional form of sake that wont leave you sobbing on a strange air mattress, head to Uni, A Sushi Place , on 2122 P St. NW during happy hour where you can get sake-tinis for under $5, garnished with cucumber shavings and happiness. Incidentally, if you don’t mind leaving with a vacuum in your wallet, the sushi is tasty and has cool things like mango and mint in it.

If you still don’t believe me or you crave your sake-esqu flavor on the run, the draft stuff can be found at the Connecticut Avenue Liquors just above Dupont circle. It’s hiding coquettishly behind the bigger bottles on the bottom shelf, across from the cashier. Handle with care.

Will of steel, mousse of chocolate

Nations have trembled at its untamed might! Mountains have been humbled by its arcane power! But now, with just a few easy steps, you will impose your iron will on the oddness that is chocolate mousse!

Here is an unbelievably easy recipe. It tastes of oranges and will impress your great aunt into forgetting to show you her vacation pictures at thanksgiving dinner.

1. Heat two cups of chocolate chips in a double boiler- if you don’t have one just stick some water in a pot and put a metal mixing bowel over it. Stir till melty and delicious. Eat some, ‘cause it tastes good. Remove the rest from the heat.
2. Separate three egg yolks and whites. Place the whites in a very clean bowl making sure that not even the tiniest smidge of yolk gets in them
3. Whip them with an electric mixer till they look whipped. Ooh yeah.
4. Pour a pint and a half of whipping cream in a bowl, add some grated orange peel to taste, two table spoons of brown sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. Whip that too.
5. Make sure that they’re about the same temperature and combine the egg yolks and the chocolate. If it seizes up, which it will, add some of your whipped cream till it relaxes again.
6. Fold the chocolate mix into the whipped cream. When all the chunks are out, fold the whole thing into the egg whites. .
7. Eat some more of it ‘cause by now it’ will taste really good and no one will know.
8. Stick it in a bowl. Cool it for a couple of hours. Eat it. Eat it like the delectable chocolaty squish it is.

Fun fact: Chocolate Mousse should never should be eaten by pregnant women. On the off chance that food poisoning results (always a fear when eating uncooked eggs), the kid could be all funny looking. Don’t risk funny looking kids.

Quiche with a side of testasterone

So, real men don't eat quiche, eh?

Does that mean real men don't like ham? Real men don't like eggs and hearty melted cheese? Real men don't like a filling meal they can have at any hour of the day?

It seems like all that's left for all those "real men" is tofurky and kale.

Masculine posturing aside, quiche is a great dish that works for any meal of the day and is surprisingly easy to make at home. Read on for a modified version of a traditional ham and cheese quiche recipe (with pictures!) that puts more emphasis on the meat and the cheese and is perfect for whipping up on a Sunday night in advance of the workweek.

You'll need:

- A pie crust
- 4 eggs
- 5oz ham steak (turkey steak works too)
- 9 oz (~.25kg) Swiss or Emmenthaler cheese
- one onion
- garlic (fresh or pre-chopped is fine)
- some chives (about enough to have a one-inch diameter when bunched)
- 1 cup heavy cream (you can substitute skim or whole milk if you're the sort of person who does that)
- salt (sub in Vegeta if you're adventurous)

First, take the crust out of the freezer - you'll want it closer to room temperature when it goes in the oven. Speaking of which, set the oven to 425F.

Start by dicing the onions, grating the cheese, cubing the ham and chopping the chives and dumping it all into a bowl. You should have something like this:

Aww yeah... can't you see where this is going? The express train to yummyville, that's where.

Now, beat the eggs in a separate glass, pour it in the bowl, the measure out the cream in the same glass (manly men don't like doing more dishes than necessary, remember?) and toss that in too. Now add a pinch of garlic and a pinch of salt. Stir it up and you should get something that looks like this:

Pour that into the crust (it should come right up to the top) and toss that in the oven with a piece of aluminum foil over it (but not on top -- try to create an arc-like shape to drape over it so as to prevent premature burning).

Turn the quiche at 20 minutes, removing the foil. Most ovens should require another 20 minutes, but make sure it's nice and brown on the top, like this:

When it comes out of the oven, the filling will have risen a bit -- it's not ready to eat until it has settled to the height of the crust itself. Now, you can pack it up for work, nuke it for breakfast or a snack or just stare at your manly, manly creation.

City Lights

One of my co-workers turned 40 (the horror!) the other day, so today we all took her to City Lights of China for lunch. My feelings about this place have gone up and down over and over for years, and I have to say that today's experience fit that pattern.

We came in and were seated at a large table at the back, the hostess was very attentive and made sure everyone was comfortable and situated, and happily accommodated our slightly-larger-than-reservation party. Lovely.

Server Number 1 came almost immediately and asked if we wanted tea, which of course we did. Out came two pots of pale, aromatic, smooth Jasmine tea at just the right temperature.

Server Number 2, who had brought the tea, asked if we were ready to order. We were and did. The food came out soon thereafter (carried by Servers 3, 4, and 1), but two of our party had to wait an extra few minutes after the rest got their meals. One of my pet peeves.

I had the Szechwan Beef. The beef was tender and nicely cooked, but the sauce was a tad too sweet, and though marked as "very spicy" on the menu, it was not. Tasty, but nothing special.

The Birthday Girl and The Vegetarian ordered MaPo Tofu, which I always avoid ordering because it's one of my favorite dishes and so often not good. The sauce was again a bit sweet, and while much spicier than my beef it still did not merit the "very spicy" label. The tofu was also mushy. Oh well.

Another of our number got the Kung-Pao Chicken, which would have been the prize winner of the meal but for a pair of glass shards found within. The hostess was duly distressed by this, and happily replaced the dish (and did not charge for it either). The chicken was tasty, not very spicy but with enough hot peppers around to make it as hot as you might like it, and not greasy or sloppy.

The final dish at our table was sweet and sour chicken. More on the sweet than sour side, and of a color far too reminiscent of traffic cones, this was a yummy plate of near-total inauthenticity (maraschino cherries and all), greasy and sweet. Not High Cuisine, but utterly what its owner wanted when she ordered it.

Our check came immediately when requested, accompanied by lovely fresh oranges and fortune cookies full of nonsensical semi-complimentary bits of advice. Mine was "You have a keen sense of humor and love a good time," which is true enough.

All in all, it was a tasty lunch, but bits were disappointing enough that I'd just as soon go somewhere less fancy, with lower expectations. I also have no idea why we had so many different servers...it could have gotten confusing had we been less distracted with our own birthday-ish activities.

City Lights of China | http://www.citylightsofchina.com/

No Tomatoes For You!

I stopped by my friendly neighborhood bagel shop/pizza place/deli, Pumpernickel's Bagelry, this morning, and as I stood in front of the register to pay for my bagel, I noticed a hand-written sign hanging from the blackboard menu: "Due to the rising cost of tomatos [sic], we won't have any!!" The owner, Rob, answered my "shame about the tomatoes" with a "they were crappy [this season] anyway." And that they were. As DCist reported earlier this month, cutting back on tomatoes is becoming a trend. For more on the tomato shortage, check out this Boston Globe article. All I know is, Pumpernickel's BLT just won't be the same.

AP Photo/Elaine Thompson

Berger Goodness

Baltimore is not known as a food capital. Its culinary offerings fail to rank with those of Paris, Rome, and London. However, there is one delight unique to Charm City (Baltimore), the Berger. The Berger, for those unaware, is a cookie, though calling it such is like referring to Monet as a painter, or Moby Dick a book. The term defines it, but fails to fully explain the sheer brilliance of the item. A Berger (for it is indeed worthy of the capital letter) has a cake-like, vanilla bottom, somewhat more moist then a Pepridge Farm cookie and somewhat tastier. However, it is the top of the Berger that invokes the eater's fervor. It is a deep, full-bodied chocolate crème, a quarter of an inch thick at times, and as rich as a Valrhona dark chocolate truffle or a Napolean Brandy. This crème, rich to the point of decadence, embraces the cake-esque bottom like chocolate octopus enveloping its prey.

Baltimoreans who no longer live in Riot City (Baltimore again) ask locals to send them boxes of the local delicacy. Locals devour them by the box. One friend of mine only eats the top bit, while another dunks them in milk. I bring them as thank-you presents when I visit out-of-town relatives, and credit them with having been asked back by said relatives. One can find them all over the City That Reads (still Baltimore) in Giant and Royal Farm. People have informed me they can be acquired in DC, though being a Baltimorean and 10 minutes from a Berger supply, I have never attempted to verify this. However, if one finds oneself in the Greatest City in the World (can you believe this is actually a nickname for Baltimore? Strange but true) the best Berger, indeed the Berger tour de force, can be found in Lexington Market. There freshly-made Bergers can be purchased by the pound. And as you sit outside the market, trying to ignore the crack dealers and phone dealers (Lexington Market is not in the best area), you will bite down on a Berger, your upper teeth penetrating the fresh, soft succulent chocolate and your lower teeth penetrating the cake-like cookie, you will being to feel all the benefits of pure hedonism. Then you will go back in and buy several more pounds.

Berger Cookies | http://www.bergercookies.com/

The Hunt for Great BBQ

As astute readers of our sister site DCSOB know, some of us Smorgasblog writers are on a continual search for the best BBQ in the greater D.C. metropolitan area. Combine that with a lack of BBQ during my last several months outside of the area, and you have the combination for a road trip to Waldorf, MD to finally try the legendary Lefty's Barbecue. So, last Sunday morning, rj3, zaf, and I all piled into the car to fight the Sunday church traffic rush to rural MD.

Lefty's is in the heart of a strip mall, about a mile away from a Wal-mart, Sam's Club, and every other suburban chain store imaginable. The decor is rather unimaginative -- benches and chairs straight out of the mid-90s. But we weren't there for the atmosphere. We were there for the barbecue.

Being from the south, the first test of authenticity for any barbecue restaurant is their Sweet Iced Tea. Sweet Tea is a purely southern phenomenon and if a BBQ joint can't properly do their iced tea, there is no hope for the actual BBQ. Other than the fact that they offer no free refills on the sweet tea, the tea passed the test, and we waited for the main meal.

RJ3 ordered the North Carolina Pork sandwhich, sliced pork w/ vinegar based sauce. ZAF had the rib platter, and I had the regular sliced pork sandwhich. For sides, we tried the corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, corn fritters, and collard greens.

You're in true barbecue country when Sundays are "bring in your church bulletin for a discount" days.

Both pork dishes were good, although I'm used to chopped rather than sliced pork. The sandwiches were so full that hand-eating was abandoned for a knife and fork. The ribs were the highlight of the meat course -- tender meat, incredibly smoky and flavorful, which fell off the bone. ZAF lost several ribs from her meal to RJ3 and me. When you go to Lefty's, get the ribs.

The crowning culinary achievement may have been the sides. The mashed potatoes were fluffy, buttery, and everything wonderful a potato can be. The collard greens had just the right mix of green and brown sugar; they were so tasty that I finally convinced my northern companions that properly done collard greens really are the nectar of the gods. And the corn fritters, deep fried corn-and-dough mixtures, we so tasty that zaf kept stealing them off of RJ3s plate.

The consensus is that out of all the BBQ places our crack team has tried, including Rocklands; Old Glory; Dixie Bones; Urban BBQ; Red, Hot, and Blue; and Johnny's, Lefty's Barbecue holds the current title of best BBQ in the metro D.C. area. At least, that is, until the next trip.

Lefty's Barbecue | http://www.leftysbarbecue.com/ | 2064 Crain Highway, Waldorf, MD 20601 |

Ikea

So, since everyone seems obsessed with the Swedish retailer, I thought I'd add to the discussion (I will post more directly about food in the future, I swear!). Not only did I just come from Sweden recently, but I was--not two months ago--at an Yijiajiaguan in Beijing.

Eat your vegetables

Salty, dried, powdered vegetables. Appealing though this may sound, a mere semantic description can't do justice to the unbelievable niftiness of Vegeta. It is with burbles of happy joy that I report you can now find this traditional Croatian seasoning at the Wegmans in Sterling, out by Dulles.

Stick this stuff on pretty much anything. Rub it on chickens before roasting them. Pour it on vegetables. Mix it with salad dressing when you feel lazy. Toss it on popcorn. Toss it on your friends. Here's a fast recipe for Vegeta chicken wings:

1. Wash the wings, trim off the thin wingtip piece, and cut the drumette and the wing into two pieces
2. DRY thoroughly with paper towels, I really mean it.
3. Mix say, half a cup of mayo with a couple tablespoons of Vegeta till the mayo is bright yellow, then mix thoroughly with the chicken until well coated
4. Put chicken on a grill pan that has been covered with aluminum oifl,, broil for 5-8 minutes on either side.

For us metro-only types, it's also available online at Malincho.com

Japanese Eggplant Provolone

I had a craving for Eggplant Parmesan, but am too poor to go out to eat every night. I did, however, have in my possession a couple of Japanese eggplants, but sadly no Parmesan or tomato sauce.

Because I am a Great Chef (no, really, I swear!), I decided to improvise, using the ingredients I had on hand. The results were both tasty and easier than a real eggplant Parmesan.

1. Slice two Japanese eggplants into circles, about 0.5" thick.
2. Saute them in a bit of olive oil, dusting with garlic salt, to taste.
3. When the eggplant is almost done, put a bit of deli-sliced Provolone on top of each slice, and continue cooking until it is all nice and melty.
4. Remove from heat, place on paper towel to absorb some of the excess oil.
5. Top each piece with a good squirt of Sriracha (that Vietnamese hot sauce you've probably only had in Pho...you can get it at nearly any specialty food store).
6. Eat!

Yes, if you use good Sriracha this is very spicy dish. It's good for you.

Prep time: about 20 minutes.

Vodka and Yuppies

Vodka is one of my favorite things: it goes with nearly anything, and the good stuff doesn't cause me hangovers. Must be the Ukrainian blood.

After dinner at Anna Maria's, Frenchie and I went to the Russia House for a drink. She chose the vodka, being a Russophile, and I chose to drink it. Whilst sipping on our selections, we amused ourselves by watching a large table of very, very drunken yuppies make fools of themselves, and commenting on the scene in French, which they clearly did not understand.

Shortly after one skinny loud woman stormed away from the group and out the door, the man she'd been sitting next to announced that he would never let the man across from him set him up on a blind date ever again. The abashed matchmaker then got up to leave as well, and as he stumbled away, his party watched him through the windows offering a play-by-play of his movements to all in the bar. He had about as much trouble with the stairs as they did with English.

Following this, the remaining half of the failed date announced, in what may be a Quote of The Week, that

Love, for me, fluctuates with the real estate market."

I would guess that he (a) works on commission and (b) finds most of his dates through online services more expensive and less dignified than match.com.

Meatballs, North and South

Following zaf's earlier ode to Ikea Swedish meatballs, I must add my own feelings on Ikea food, and another version of the meatball, from further South.

I had to go to Ikea the other day, as part of The Move. I made the mistake of deciding to brave the emporium of Unböring alone, and was overwhelmed after only an hour or so. I needed relief. Luckily, there was the Ikea Cafe. The first surprise was that the steamed broccoli was nearly perfect. Unlike every other cafeteria version I've ever had, it was neither overcooked nor soaked in
butter. So that made me happy. The meatballs were very tasty, and not as greasy as I expected. I've never had Swedish meatballs before, so I have no idea if these are good ones, but they did taste good.

Further South, geographically and philosophically, I went to dinner at Anna Maria's in Dupont Circle with the dear Mistress Frenchie. Anna Maria's will always have a special place in my heart, not only because it used to be a brothel, but because it is one of the most reliably good, cheap basic Italian places in the city. Don't expect fancy here, the menu is a collection of things any five-year-old will easily identify as Proper Italian Food: spaghetti, lasagna, chicken Parmesan, ravioli, etc. I had the meat lasagna, which came with a very large, very tasty meatball. Spicy and sweet, it was lovely.

In the end, Swedish and Italian meatballs are very different beasts, but I love them both!

Well-designed dinner

Ode to eight Ikea Swedish meatballs sitting on a well-priced-yet-trendy-looking tray

Oh savory balls of meat from Ikea
I'd climb metric shelving-units to see ya
And fight the whole Swedish Navy
To reach your lingonberries and gravy
and the cinnamon buns of your cafeter-ia.

IKEA College Park | 10100 Baltimore Ave College Park, MD 20740 | $5.80/serving