Steam Cafe

This probably belongs in the "Internet with your coffee" media-darling series, but since the place is new, and I don't write that, I think it merits its own review.

The Steam Café opened not too long ago at the corner of 17th and R Streets, NW. I needed coffee badly this morning (afternoon) when I got up, and L'Enfant was packed, so I decided to give this new place a try. I arrived about 12:45, and the place was nicely empty.

I like the feel of this place immediately. I was able to snag one of the comfy red leather sofas. Later, I had to share it, and unfortunately not with the hottie occupying the one across the way (but I still got to look at him, a nice distraction from working), but they're plenty big for that. Warm orange walls and red couches and chairs…somehow it manages not to clash offensively. The café has a bunch of fun-looking chandelier/light fixtures, but none were on, leaving it a bit dim on a cloudy day. Loungy house music plays quietly, lending atmosphere but not interfereing with conversation or thought processes (a lesson I wish other coffee places would learn).

The water glass was rectangle-ish, and had a Capital Letter on each of four sides, which may have spelled "N – E – X – T," or quite possibly "E – X – T – N" or "X – T – N – E" which might mean something I'm not deep enough to get. I ordered a large café au lait, which came in a giant bowl-mug, just how I like it, and was only $2.25! I also ordered the Niçoise Salad: a bed of greens topped with tuna and a vinaigrette, surrounded by the rest of the salad's components: eggs, haricots verts, kalamata olives, vinegared potatoes, cucumbers, and beets (an interesting addition). Not enough of any of them was my sole complaint: the vinaigrette was very tasty, but I like more haricots and egg in my Niçoise. Oh well, it was only $6.25.

The crepes looked and smelled lovely – I only just resisted the banana and Nutella one – and they have some oddly geographically named smoothie things (why does "Iceland" have mango in it? I'd expect maybe dried fish or picked shark.), but it's too cold outside for that. The staff is friendly, if perhaps a bit distracted by apparently having too much going on behind the counter, and service was just fine, which by DC coffee shop standards means "spectacular." In the summer, this will be a prime spot for watching the mess stumble home through the Gayborhood, especially if they do in fact have patio seating, and even more given that the prices are quite reasonable, considering the location across the street from the overpriced-with-too-much-attitude FoodBar DC.

Healthy Eating: Beware Mutant Foods!

We all know about nutritional fads and trendy diets. Some of them may be less atrocious than others, but they all have one thing in common: they tell you that you must eat less ingredient Y and more ingredient X (which the diet expert/celebrity in question will happily sell you). Vitamin and mineral supplementation has been around quite a while, and probably is, at the most basic levels, a Good Thing. Goiters and Rickets are exceedingly rare in the US today, where they were epidemic a generation ago. However, today's frenzied pace of nutritional fads, coupled with the new US Government Dietary Guidelines, make for some seriously worrying food supplementation.

Vitamin C is in everything, vitamin A (Beta Carotene) too. The former in excess quantities can lead to kidney stones, the latter to liver problems and jaundice. The latest thing about to be added to foods are Omega-3-fatty-acids, famous for their protective effects on the heart and vascular system. Now, aside from my general aversion to overly processed and modified foods, there is a serious problem here: omega-3's only have a positive effect in very limited amounts. I used to work in a biochemistry lab doing research on just this topic: how much of what types of lipids (including omega-3, omega-6, and omega-9 fatty acids) were good for you, and how much of what types were bad. Omega-3's are very good for your heart, up to moderate doses, but with more than low-moderate doses, they begin to wreak havoc on the liver and kidneys. I can see this trend going so well.

So how do you eat healthy and stay fit and thin? Eat more! That's right, I said it: "Eat. More." It's just a matter of what you eat. Low-calorie-density foods, like soups and fruits and veggies, fill you up their high volume, but still have fewer calories. One apple is more filling than one cookie, but has probably half to a third as many calories. This is a theme of those new dietary guidelines, and the heart of what may be the next dieting trend. Not that I'm promoting any sort of fad diet at all...they tend to have a second feature in common, as well as the one stated above: as soon as you stop being 100% on them, you gain all the weight back. Which is worse for you than never having lost it (true fact - studies have shown that "yo-yo dieting" is extremely rough on your cardiovascular and digestive (read: insulin regulation) systems. So, you best bet is to eat all kinds of foods in healthy balance and moderate amounts.

Eat Berthas Mussels

If you happen to spend a lot of time staring at the back of Baltimore cars, you will notice a variety of bumper paraphernalia. There are political stickers, those notifying the world that the occupant's child is an honors student (again!), those trumpeting their academic affiliation, the 'Believe' stickers (for Washingtonians, Believe is a Baltimore campaign to inspire the populace to envision a city without crime and poverty, it has not worked yet) and those stating "Eat Bertha's Mussels."

Never having been one to resist the arguments of a bumper sticker, I promptly took myself down to Bertha's Mussels, a Baltimore institution in the Fells Point distinct.

Bertha's resides in a lovely building at 734 S Broadway. The front room is a low and smoky pub, followed by a large and airy dining room outfitted in solid oak. While the menu is varied and offers a good deal of interesting appetizers and main courses, everything except for the mussels is rather expensive, and honestly, if you are going to eat anything else, why are you bothering to come? Needless to say, we all had mussels. The portions were generous, huge plates of steaming mussels and various dipping sauces, including garlic butter and spinach, Spanish sauce, garlic butter and anchovies, etc. For the healthier version, garlic broth is available in exchange for butter.

While the mussels were meaty and filling, we found them to be a little
ubbery, not as tender as we were expecting. The sauces were delicious (we went for garlic broth and spinach, and Spanish sauce), subtly seasoned and light enough not to cover the slight flavor of the mussel, and there was more then enough to use up an entire container of sauce with one order of sauce.

However, we left not entirely satisfied. Our stomachs were full of bread and mussels and garlic, but somehow we were unfilled. Two of the three of us had never eaten mussels before, and left feeling as though, while we were glad we had done it once, we never had to do it again. The third felt as thought she had fulfilled her annual obligation and would not need to consume a plate of the creatures for another year. While I would recommend eating at Bertha's to others should they have a desire for mussels, to those looking for a nice, non-mussel specific meal there is no need to obey the bumper sticker, and eat Bertha's mussels.

Levantes Levels

There have been enough raves about the Dupont Circle Levantes that a last minute change of plans was made on the way to Penang last evening. Verdict: Just fine but not necessarily worth missing ‘Airplane’ on TV for.

The look here is typical nouveau yuppie, the wine list was acceptable, and the service is adequate even tho they mixed up our side dishes.

Things we ate that tasted satisfactory:

• Traditional Dolma (grape leaves stuffed with rice)- Apparently it was decent. Our confused dining partner tried to convince us they didnt have carbs.

• Veal cutlet marinated in olive oil with roasted veggies - Definitely good enough to finish, not really good enough to order again.

• Lamb shish kabobs - Alright, these were pretty damn tasty. Were they better than kabobs than Yanni's in Cleveland Park? I’m not sure.

• Hope, Australian Shiraz. Yeah, I know, but we’re sick of Pinot Noirs.
  

• Hot Yogurt Soup

Anyway, overall it seemed just fine. I went home and watched Airplane on TV.

Rock Stars Among Us

DCFUD-staffer NM of Seeking Irony and Bluestate is now a rock star in her own right. Or at least, an iPod DJ-star.

Check out the front page article in today's Washington Post.

DCFüd Responds: Spices!

A friend of DCFüd wrote us and said:

“So, wandering around the grocery store last night, I realized that I need to start cooking with spices. Returning home and looking in my cupboard, I found: ground black pepper and Goya Adobo (With Pepper!). A basil plant grows on my windowsill. And that's it. ‘How will I ever figure out what spices to buy to begin my collection,’ I fretted. Then a voice inside reminded me that I know, oh, about seventy-five percent of DC's premier food bloggers.”

The result, dear readers, is the first installment of DCFüd Responds! Since this is a really huge topic, it’ll be answered in multiple parts, but answers to future inquiries will perhaps be more succinct. But, without further ado, here is:

Spicing, Part 1 (of ?):

Proper spicing is critical to all cuisine, and will very often make or break your dishes. It’s also not as hard as one might expect. In a series of posts to come, we will talk about various spices, how you might use them, and what good they can do you. But first, a couple of quick tips to get you started.

Like all cooking, it’s a matter of taste: what you like may not be what your sister likes. Some people wretch at the merest thought of cilantro, I pile it on. I’ve heard that there are even some people who don’t like garlic! To start off, let’s introduce the basics of spices.

1. Flavors. There are innumerable spices and flavors out there, and an infinite number of combinations thereof. For general purposes though, remember that spices, in general, can be “hot,” “cold,” “earthy,” “sharp,” “sweet,” and “piquant” (that’s ‘spicy-hot,’ like jalapenos), among other adjectives, and the trick is getting your dish to the right place on each of those scales. That place is different for every dish, and for every dish depending on the chef’s personal tastes. The goal is getting what *you* want. If you find your dish is too sharp, add something earthy. If it’s too earthy, add something sharp. Or something hot. Play around.

2. Fresh or not? Fresh herbs are almost always best, but are not as readily available and are more expensive, so we often make do with dried ones. Dried herbs tend to be more powerful (concentrated) than fresh, so use less in your cooking. They also may have considerably different flavors, and react differently in your recipes, so take care and learn the difference. You learn the difference by trying things. I can’t write how to do that.

3. Find inspiration. Try to recreate flavors you've liked: Think about what you've eaten in the past, and how it tasted when you smell your spices. You probably won't get exact matches, but you may find things you like as well or better, and it'll help you learn. There is no such thing as a lost cause. See number 1.

4. Smell everything. Smell tells you tons about taste, and it’s the best way of predicting how a flavor combination will work. When you’re cooking and want to add a spice, test it first: smell your dish, then your spice, then hold the spice jar over the pot and smell the combination. If the combination smells good, go for it.
You can also use this trick to decide if a combination of spices is what you want: hold the two jars together under your nose, and consider the combined aroma.

5. Go slow at first. Some spices are more powerful than others. Four or five cardamom or fennel seeds will flavor a vat of curry, but you’ll need a spoonful of coriander for the same dish. Once you get more comfortable with spicing and with individual spices (more on that later), you’ll learn to intuit how much of what to add, but for now, just add a sprinkle at a time. On the other hand, do *not* be afraid to screw up. If you add too much of something, experiment: the dish is already not what you were expecting, why not make something entirely new that might be brilliant?

We’ll explain why later, but for starters, you should always have the following spices in your kitchen (besides salt and black pepper, which I hope you have already!):

- Fresh garlic. It keeps well when stored in a cool, dry place (not the fridge!), goes with nearly everything, and is possibly the Ultimate spice. Try roasting the cloves whole, you’ll get a sweet, delicious goo to dress salads or melba toast hors d’ouvres. Plus, it’s very good for your health!
- Garlic salt. See above, but this form is great for convenience and as a table spice.
- Ground cinnamon. It’s not just for baking! Used sparingly, cinnamon can really brighten up meats, especially gamey ones like lamb and venison. A sprinkle in your chili will take it up a notch. You can also use it as a no-calorie, South-Beach friendly, sweetener for puddings, dressings, etc.
- Cayenne powder. Even if you don’t like your food very piquant, keep this stuff around and learn to use it. Both piquant and earthy, cayenne can really bring a dish together. Especially good for moderate piquancy – dust a little on your steaks before grilling to bring out the flavor. Remember though: this is different than Chili Powder, which is a mixture of cayenne, cumin, alum, and other spices that you use when making chili.
- Rosemary leaves. Warm, a bit sharp, and highly aromatic. Sprinkle on for perfect lamb chops, add to a salad for extra flavor. Take a couple redskin potatoes, mix in a bowl with olive oil, garlic salt and a good bit of rosemary; roast them for a treat.
- Sage. Get the leaves, not the ground kind – it lasts longer and tastes better. Sage is warm, aromatic, and lovely on meats and with roasted veggies. It’s not as overpowering as some spices, so don’t be afraid to add more.
- Ground ginger. Less piquant and less sharp than the fresh kind, but still with a lovely fresh hot flavor that can really “break up” an overly earthy flavored dish. This is a key ingredient in many Asian dishes, including stir-fry, curry, and tempura dressing. Mix sesame oil, soy sauce, and ground ginger with rice vinegar for a refreshing, tasty, and health salad dressing.

Other Füd types and myself will be posting more about spices soon – this is just the beginning, and should get you off to a good start. We’ll talk more in-depth about more spices, have recipes, tips, and other things, especially if we get more questions!

Cold Stone Update

Just to show how ahead of common herd we are, Consumer Reports followed our lead on Cold Stone Creamery with their own expose in the current March 2005 issue, page 8-9 (you can access their website www.comsumerreports.org by subscription only).

They Say:
"The sum of a Stone Cold creation was better than its parts".

Translation:
The ice cream when sampled alone was not as good as either Haagen Dazs or Ben & Jerry's or even gummy and mild Baskin Robbins. Just average. With mix-ins, taste improved dramatically covering defects in texture and adding flavor complexity.

Other conclusions: Cold Stone costs about the same as the others ounce for ounce but since the smallest serving they sell is 6 oz, each individual serving is more expensive than the others. They also tell you to be sure to grab plenty of napkins - the cups are usually filled to overflowing. We know, we know.

-mhf, guest blogger

South Beach, Day 9

Today's Haiku:
They have vitamins!
They are so vital for health!
Feh. Veggies bore me

Yesterday's Menu:
Grilled steak with Montreal Steak Seasoning on it, no sugar yoghurt smoothie, two hard boiled eggs, some low fat cottage cheese, a cheeseburger sans bun, and a Scotch and soda at Bluestate.

I feel
Could be worse. I've finally discovered the world of no-sugar-added products- Peanut butter made with Splenda, chemical strawberry yoghurt, blue cheese dressing made from artificial flavoring, creamer, and more Splenda, and no-sugar chocolate mouse. Lets hear it for the diabetic-food section at Giant.

Today's Recipe: Chocolate Popsicles

• Mix 1.5 cup skim milk, 1 Tbsp cocoa powder, and 3 packets Splenda
• Pour into popsicle molds or an ice cube tray to freeze

Another Shameless Plug

Not sure what you're doing tonight? I'll tell you what you're doing tonight, you're going to Cafe Saint-Ex for Bluestate to watch DCFUD bloggers nm and rj3 get their groove on. Oh yes you are.

zaf and amg will be the two kids ogling the beer while morosely sipping diet soda.

DCFüd Scoops The Post

Well, not exactly. But perhaps we can take credit for starting a trend. The Washington Post's food section this week has a feature on our favorite topic, that scandalous sweetener, Splenda. The article details the substance's recent popularity and resulting shortage and scandal. It also urges curious consumers to judge for themselves by visiting Splenda's own site and www.truthaboutsplenda.com.

Charm City Chocolate

Being newly single and having a tough time slogging through the transition between coupledom to a swingin' single lifestyle, I decided the best solution would be to self-medicate my romantical wounds. My preferred drug would be potent, provide an instant hit and be readily available. Solution: chocolate. And what could be more deliciously, creamily, dreamily ironic than drowning my sorrows in leftover, cut-priced Valentine's Day chocolates.

I was talking to an acquaintance whose husband was a native "Baltimoron" (her term, not mine) and she started waxing poetic about Rheb's, a Baltimore institution that she described as "a little house where little old ladies make chocolate all day." What could be more comforting than little old ladies making chocolate all day? It sounded like Willy Wonka minus the kids drowning in chocolate rivers and moralism. I had to go.

Following my meticulous directions, I traveled I-95 to exit 50B, took a left on Wilkens Avenue and promptly drove right by the store. The actual retail store is set back from the road a bit on Bloomfield Avenue. The red neon sign has a hard time casting off the shadows of the hulk of St. Agnes Hospital directly across the street. What you might notice from the road is a neat little house with a sign out front that says "Louis J. Rheb Candy Company Chocolates and Candies Since 1917." This is where all the candy-making magic happens, and where I suspect they are hiding all the little old ladies because I didn't see any on my visit.

The business is family-run in the best way possible. On my visit, a boy and his posse were skulking around the counter waiting to snag his mom's attention to get permission to watch a movie with his buds and get some popcorn money. I smiled and felt at home because it reminded me of being in middle school, except similar scenes in my life didn't play out with massive amounts of goodies around me.

Chocolates were laid out in neat rows in every version you might hope for. Not fanciful or fancy chocolates, nor perfectly glossed chocolate shells or amazingly architectural creations, just row upon row of hand-made chocolates obviously made with a touch of love. Rheb's seems to have a loyal following, since all the other customers in the store definitely had their favorites. The staff was ready to indoctrinate the clueless, like me, who freeze before the chocolately headlights.

Since it was my first visit, the no-brainer was the assortment, a pre-packaged gift-wrapped box within which I was promised all their milk and dark chocolate hits. Lucky for you I sampled every single chocolate, all in the name of investigative journalism. Not so lucky for me, there were no discount chocolates to be had, but at $12/lbs I wasn't too unhappy. My favorites have been the Vanilla Butter Creams and Peanut Butter Stix both in dark and milk chocolate varieties. And I shouldn't forget to mention the Pecan Turtles, firm caramel nestled with chopped pecans under a milk chocolate blanket, with a mouth-pleasing chew.

Among the more unusual was the "sponge." Molasses, extruded in a way that gives it a grid like pattern, is dipped in chocolate. The end result is a crunchy-then-chewy center that remains light in the hand and looks like a doll-sized chocolate pillow. If you're thinking about Easter already (and who isn't, right?!), Rheb's boxes vanilla butter cream eggs. After eating my Rheb's chocolates, so endearingly imperfect and lovingly made, my previous go-to goody, Lindt, tasted far too waxy and looked like it had the personality of a piece of plastic in comparison. I think the ultimate challenge would pit Rheb's against Wockenfuss, whose chocolates I haven't tasted. What's your opinion?

Rheb's Homemade Candies
3352 Wilkens Avenue
Baltimore, MD 21229
410-644-4321

Also: Lexington Market
400 W. Lexington Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
410-727-4553

Mediterranean Love

You never have to search for the famous Greek Deli in the oddly-named Golden Triangle district of D.C. Simply turn onto 19th St. between L & M and look for the line that extends out into the street. And every one of the people standing the line walk away happy to have waited 10 minutes for the best take-out lunch in the area.

Greek Deli is nestled in an incredibly small storefront, maybe 9 feet wide, hidden in between the two sides of Nooshi. It's a take-out only joint that's open for breakfast and lunch and serves greek and mediterranean food - about 15-20 options sold it various combinations depending on what's on the menu. Normal options include mousaka, greek chicken, lamb, gyros, and greek salads, served with sides of green beans and orzo. The man behind it all, known to his customers as Kostas, always works behind the counter yelling out to his clients to get their orders and then barking details to his assistants in the back.

The food is superb. I'm a huge fan of the chicken and green beans or the gyro, but I've never heard anyone complain about anything the've gotten there. And a former colleague of mind swears by their breakfast pita. So next time you're tromping around golden triangle trying to decide between Cosi, Corner Bakery, or Chipotle, take a quick turn and grab some authentic greek food from Kostas.

Greek Deli | 1120 19th St. NW | Washington, DC | 202-296-2111

South Beach Day 7

Today's Haiku:
'Eat me' tempts a pear
But your evil taunting cries
Won't change your carb count

Yesterday's menu:
Big salad with blue cheese and steak, a bag of almonds, two slices of turkey, and a Chipotle Buritto Bol sans corn.

I feel:
Lighter but craving. I honest to god had a dream about cake last night- It was one of the more disturbing things ever. This is a hell of a lot of work for the 2 measly pounds I'm down.

Recipe: South Beach-Safe Cheesecake

• Beat together two eight ounce packages of softened lowfat cream cheese, sixteen packets of Splenda, and ¼ tsp almond extract.
  
  
• Slowly add three eggs and beat till well blended

• Pour into a pie plate and microwave at medium for 15-25 minutes.

• Beat together one cup lowfat sour cream, three packets Splenda, and a tsp of vanilla. Spread it evenly over the top.

• Refrigerate for several hours. Try to ignore what the Splenda might be doing to your insides.

Roadtrip: 22-hour NYC Feeding Frenzy

To get in, see The Gates instilation, buy comic books, and get out of NYC in 22 hours is a feat unto itself. To do it all in a snowstorm is admirable. To do it all while gracefully dodging carbs is an art form. With 8 days still to go on South Beach I’m experiencing extreme Cadbury Cream Egg withdrawal- but thankfully we still found stuff to stick in us.

Lemongrass Grill (80 University Place) - With Bamboo décor and an open kitchen, this chain comes from Brooklyn (!?) and serves good cheap curries, noodles, and old favorites. The summer rolls were some of the best looking I’d ever seen- can’t vouch for the taste. Eaten: The green curry. Plate was dutifully licked.

Sunlite Diner (3914 Queens Blvd) – 50’s style (‘cause it’s been around since the 50’s) diner that ranks up there in my personal top six. Best Diner Burgers Ever.

Incidentally, that top 6 also includes Tambers in Baltimore, the Broadway Diner in Rockville, Monroe Diner in Monroe NY, Waverly Diner in the village, and a tie between Golden Eagle Diner and Twin Oaks Diner in, NJ.

Great NY Noodletown (28 Bowery) – A Chinatown hole in the wall open, as far as I know- 24 hours a day and always full. You will smell it from blocks away and go back every meal until large men pull you, kicking and screaming, from your table. Unfortunately this time we couldn’t munch the famous Pan Fried Noodles but the ‘Three Jewels” (pork, chicken, and duck) and fried shrimp are freakishly tasty.

Oriental Supermarket: Truth in Advertising

The Supergiant Asian grocery stores of Rockville, sized to put a Superfresh to shame, are an absolute playground. But if you’re looking for something a little closer, I highly suggest Oriental Supermarket at the 891 F Rockville Pike.

A nice medium sized market that claims to offer supplies for Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Phillipino, and Thai cooking, this place has a pretty decent selection of the basics in one small place.

A wall of freezer cases have homemade dumplings, pork buns, giant frozen fish, and other Asiania (I just made that word up). For a store of its size, it has a great selection of teas, prepackaged sauces, hard to find ingredients, candy (my favorite lychee jelly things) and some of the cheapest, nicest, veggies around.

A deli counter offers premade duck and othe meat and tofu dishes. And of course, it offers bubble tea supplies. Who doesn’t dig bubble tea. For the first few sips.

South Beach day 3

Today's haiku:
Chocolate cake dancing
Over rolling muffin hills
The alarm clock rings

Yesterday's menu
A whole green pepper, half a bag of almonds, half a cucumber, three-cheese omelet with mushrooms. Roasted Chickpeas, and a big old chunk of mahi-mahi. And some more almonds. And peanuts.

I feel:
Carb craving, but full. You can say this about South Beach, you can't eat anything tasty but at least you don’t have to deal with hunger pangs. The sight of popcorn still makes me dizzy tho.

Today's recipe: Roasted Chickpeas
Basically this is for everyone too lazy to just go out and get some hummus.

• Rinse and drain a can of chickpeas. Mix with 2 tbsp olive oil, salt, garlic powder, and pepper.

• Bake for 20 minutes at 450, stirring occasionally until golden brown

• Let it cool- eat with....lettuce?

Sideways Update

So apparently I'm not the only person who saw Sideways and immediately went out to try a Pinot Noir. Much thanks to Amalglife for spotting this article in the Washington Post about skyrocketing Pinot Noir sales from movie publicity.

Apparently more than half the wine sales at Firefly (1310 New Hampshire Ave.) this season were Pinot Noirs.... i still prefer something that doesn't taste sour the second you eat it with food tho.

South Beach day 2

Today's haiku:
In omelets or poached
no matter how many eggs,
I miss my pasta

Yesterday's menu:
Three hard boiled eggs, a piece of turkey, decaf tea with splenda and low carb creamer, a chunk of lowfat cheese, a whole lot of pecans. A garlic/5-spice steak, sautéed mushrooms (in olive oil) and rj3's excellent mashed cauliflower with huge amounts of butter.

I feel:
Like eating Mt Everest. The sight of a tube of unbaked Pillsubury dinner-roll dough can now make me tremble with carb-lust. I demand muffin!...or just some fruit juice?

Recipe: It Ain't Potatoes But It's Close Mashed Cauliflower

• Chunk a whole cauliflower and steam it until it's extremely squishy.

• Place in a bowl with half a stick of butter and Vegeta if you have it, garlic, salt and pepper if you don't. Then add some extra salt.

• Use a hand masher or electric mixer to squish everything down to a relatively smooth white paste. It actually isn't half bad...actually.

DCFUD is in today's Express!

Well lookit that, DCFUD is in today's express talking about our list of DC wireless hotspots. Just for the record, the long address they printed isn't necessary - you can reach us at www.dcfud.com.

Thanks Express, Yay!

This Ended Up Being Rice and Lentil Pilaf

The objective here is to find a substitute for those boxed rice pilafs I buy in the store when I need a quick meal. They are tasty but seem unnecessary, given that I keep all the basic ingredients in my kitchen.

1 tsp poultry seasoning
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 Tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp olive oil
2 c vegetable broth
1 c water
1/2 c lentils
1/2 c brown rice
almonds

Bring vegetable broth to a boil, add olive oil, almonds, and seasonings, cook for 10 minutes. Add lentils and cook for 10 more minutes. Add the cup of water and the rice, return to boil, cover, and cook until all water is absorbed, at least 10-15 minutes.

If you have more time, you can always use freshly chopped onions and garlic instead of the powdered versions. The advantage of the dried seasonings is convenience and speed, but, you know, fresh is preferable.

Witty title using the word Corduroy

Hallmark is much maligned for giving sappy clichés a bad name, but when it comes to its trashy commercialization of innocent holidays I’m all for it. Years of greeting-card-induced sentimentality have conditioned me, Pavlovian female that I am, to equate Valentines Day with good food. This is a roundabout way of saying that last Monday night found me at Corduroy Restauarant at 12th and K.

This is a great back-to-the-classics place with emphasis on quality over creativity. Since it was Valentines day the set menu started with champagne- I fear I don’t know enough about bubbly yellow liquids to try rating, but it was very nice. Following was a creamy snapper soup- fabulous with a perfect bitter edge to it- and Malpeque Oysters that could made you think you were standing on a Sanabel Island beach.

Second course was a seared Salmon and Bok Choi dish, and sheep cheese raviolis with freaky tender lamb. Wine was a randomly chosen (but tasty!) Pinot Noir that our waiter made us promise not to drink until we had finished the oysters. By the time we finished it we’d forgotten where it was from. Sorry-

Alright, can someone tell me what you call a chocolate soufflé but where it’s much wider and shallower than usual? We had one. It was heavenly. And some vanilla bean crème brulee. Because we could.

The traditional hotel restaurant décor-sparse and unimaginative (with the exception of the bar which sports a chain-link curtain) – means I can’t say this was the most romantic place I’ve ever been. On the other hand, the food definitely makes it into my top 15. Hallmark, you done good.

Fud counts carbs; hell freezes over

Alright folks, this is it.

Under the very bad influence of rj3 and an inability to fit into my awesome leather jeans amg and zaf have decided to become less round. Are we going to excercise more? No. Are we going to reduce caloric intake? No. Are we going to amputate a limb? Maybe.

That’s right, starting this morning and for the next two weeks we're all going South Beachy. I promise to report on any success either every few days or whenever I damn well feel like it. Lookit this- I'm only four hours in and already crabby.

South Beach: Because nothing says lovin' like a fad diet which may only work for unhealthy reasons.

Old Mediocre

For those of us without a car, Old Glory in Georgetown is probably the best "metro-accessible" place to go for barbeque within the city limits. True, that's not saying a lot - DC is in total only 69 square miles - smaller than some New Jersey malls - and barbeque is hardly city food. Nevertheless, a few days ago found us in Georgetown demanding some pulled pork and it was either that or subvert our cravings to yet another Ben and Jerry's run.

The interior is relaxed, rough-western style. It's cute without dipping so far as a TGI Fridays or Cracker Barrel. Tables on both floors are equipped with abundant napkins and hot sauces.

On this particular trip, wings came first. Wings always come first. This place knows its wings and does them well - either as traditional buffalo wings or as buttermilk marinated pit-grilled wings. Sweet tea was acceptable, but not great. Next, we grabbed a OG Combo - one dish easily does for two - and chewed our way through a lackluster barbequed chicken, a soggy, tasteless pile of Carolina Pulled Pork, and a dry but very tasty couple of slices of Hand Sliced Brisket.

I can't say it's the epitome of a culinary experience, but Old Glory will get you full and satisfy a barbeque craving that's looking for quantity over quality. I hear the bar is great, but can't vouch for it personally - anyone who wants to give it a shot will have to crowd surf over a fashionable barricade of Urban Outfitters-clad college kids. Anyway, the wings are good.

Splenda Saga update!

The controversy over Splenda is taking D.C. by storm, and we're not just talking about our website.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest, the National Grange and the U.S. Sugar Association held a press conference at the National Press Club downtown this morning to discuss concern among consumer groups about Splenda's advertising claims.

In a statement, CSPI executive director Michael Jacobson calls Splenda's advertising claims "misleading" and says the company should be more upfront about the substance's relationship to sugar.

"Splenda's artificiality may present a marketing challenge, but that's not an excuse to confuse consumers and lead them to believe that Splenda is natural or in any way related to sugar," Jacobson said in the release.

Our Splenda-obsessed writers will keep you updated on the fallout from this latest segment of the saga.

Better Dead Than Red-Hot Sauce

This recipe is in tribute to the book Masters of Deceit: What the Communist Bosses are Doing Now to Bring America to its Knees, a 1957 rant against socialists in America and their use of pornography, atheism, and minority civil rights (among other nefarious activities) to prepare us for the Soviet takeover.

It contains useful hints on identifying which of your friends may be a Russian spy and what you as a loyal patriot should do if your local newspaper is taken over by fanatical comrades. The author? Everyone’s favorite illegal wiretapper and crossdresser, J. Edgar Hoover.

So, just in time for Valentines day, here’s a recipe for 'Better dead than red-hot sauce'

• Combine 1.5 cups chunked carrots, 1 large Vidalia onion, 1.5 cups lime juice, three cloves mashed garlic, and 2.5 tsp kosher salt in a saucepan and bring to a boil until carrots are soft like a Communist Party Toady (their official title, apparently).

• Place mixture in blender with 12 chopped habanero chilis and process till smooth, smooth as the takeover of the U.S. will be with all these godless feminists paving the way for Russia to swoop in.

And I’m only on chapter 3.

Not-Exactly-Minestrone

Technically, minestrone is any thick soup containing vegetables, beans, and pasta or rice. This variation is seasoned not with the usual Italian herbs but with worcestershire sauce and chili powder. Veggie worcestershire sauce may be found for those who don't care for anchovies; I get mine at Whole Foods, it's got a fearsome-looking wizard on the label.

6 c water
2 c tomato juice
2/3 cup cooked beans (navy beans, kidney beans, garbanzos all work fine)
1 coarsely chopped onion
1 Tbsp salt
2-3 Tbsp worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp chili powder
2 bay leaves
2 Tbsp lemon juice (optional)
carrots, potatoes, peas, green beans, corn, whatever
macaroni

If you use dried beans, pre-soak them overnight. Cook the beans at least an hour, then add tomato juice, onion, and seasonings. Cover and simmer somewhere around 30 minutes. Add veggies by texture (carrots first, peas and corn last), cover and simmer for another hour. Add the lemon juice and macaroni in the final 10 minutes. This soup tastes better the day after it is prepared.

Indignant Hero

Thanks lots to Skunkeye for this link about the firing of Walter Scheib III, the White House Chef.

Apparently, he was already angry about being told that using French recipes and cooking techniques is "unpatriotic"... and being forced to "honor the brand names represented by more than a dozen top GOP and Bush campaign donors" during his inaugural meal.

Alright, the above article is satire, but it is confirmed he's leaving becasue of "stylistic differences with the first lady". She prefers barbequed possum

This guy is my new hero.

Pirates and Panache

Last weekend, I attended a surprise birthday dinner for one of my coworker friends. His wife made all the arrangements, and it almost worked, except that another co-worker, not even involved in the event, told him 'happy birthday' on Friday, tipping him off (with the help of a number of suspicious phone calls) that something was up. Oh well. He was still surprised to see us all waiting for him at Panache.

I'd never even heard of this place, rather new and tucked away as it is on DeSales Street, behind the Mayflower. The dining room is lovely, bar to the right and a comfy looking booths (clad in gorgeous bright red, against cream, almost caramel, walls). Our large party sat in the back, right in front of a rather prominent DJ booth, containing a DJ who kept a nice loungy-house thing going the whole evening. As the hours passed, the music got louder and the lighting dimmer; the music was good, but a bit much sitting so close to the speakers. At about 10:30, they started clearing empty tables to create a dance floor.

Time to order drinks. The waiter apologizes that they are out of my first choice, the Estancia PInot Noir, and my second, the Innominato Toscano. So I order a vodka tonic, which he has. He is also out of all the red wines except two, a Fruilvini Merlot and the house Cabernet Sauvignon. At $6 a glass for house and $9 for select, I'd have hoped they would have more selection in stock. Perhaps there was a snowstorm I didn't notice.

Then, one of our party noticed something strange at the bar behind us. I turned, and at first wondered why such a messy drag queen was in such a nice place. Upon closer inspection, the big hat and hoop earring were those of a pirate costume, not a female impersonator. So, said member of our party got up, and asked the pirate to be in a picture with the Birthday Boy. The pirate agreed, and also told us why he was so attired: he told his friend that, if his friend found him a pirate costume, he would wear it out on the friend's birthday. The friend found him a pirate costume, and it was his birthday.

We decided to order a selection of Tapas/Meza/Petits Plats; by "we" I of course mean our hostess, with consultation of the Guest of Honor and those clever enough to sit at her end of the table (like me!). Since picking three is even harder than picking one, we ordered a few cold plates as appetizers: the Queso Manchego; the Escalivada Mediterra'nea; the Hummus. Spain, Italy, Turkey. The cheese was lovely though a bit mild to my taste, as Manchego should be I suppose. The Escalivada was grilled thin sliced veggies, beautifully presented and tasty, but nothing special or unique. The hummus, on the other hand, was excellent. Really outstanding hummus, with a strong lemony flavor and light, fluffy pita. I then had two 'main' dishes, and tried a few more, all were very good. The portions were actually perfect, about two per person was just right.

Lapin a l'ail. Rabbit braised in a sherry garlic sauce over polenta. Really smooth, rich-but-not-overwhelming flavors, and brilliantly tender meat.

Carpaccio di Samone Fumicato. Excellent smoked salmon - one of my favorite things in the world - with a goat-cheese spread, capers and cocktail onions, which I spread over the ample supply of French bread.

For dessert, we all split a tiramisu (not a big dessert crowd, and plus the birthday boy didn't seem to want it). Which may have been the best tiramisu I've had. Ever. It was really, really good.

The tab came to about $40 a person, including tax, tip and drinks, which I regard a pretty good deal for such a fancy-ish place. We stayed and danced a while after dinner, which was fun.

The pirate also danced, although if this was the only example to go on, one might conclude that pirates move like a white band on Soul Train. Luckily, we know better than that.

Pirates are stylish and sexy, after all.

All in all, I'm not sure how I feel. The food was really good, and not too pricey, though ordering an entree would have been more expensive than a couple tapas. But, I don't think the tapas menu really fit the setting. The dishes felt like they wanted to be more than they could be in such small portions. I plan on going back to Panache, if only to try the Basil Encrusted Double Lamb Chop, which looked spectacular and others (who didn't share!) loved.

Panache
1725 Desales St Nw
Washington, DC 20036

Noodle Heaven

For the longest time, there were discussions on Chowhound that consisted almost entirely of number and letter combinations. "Have you tried A36, J19, or M22?" one would write. Another poster would reply, "No, but A22 is to die for."

Back when I was a city-dweller, the call letters always intrigued me. They refer to menu items at Joe's Noodle House, a spectaular chinese noodle house in the lovely suburb of Rockville. Once I became a (albeit temporary) suburbanite, I consoled myself with the knowledge that I would now be close to the infamous noodle house and could partake in its fully noodle glory.

And it has yet to disappoint. I've visited several times before, including once with rj3, but hadn't been back in months. So after shopping at our local suburban chinese market, when zaf and I had a noodle craving, we headed over to Joe's.

Joe's has a setup that is unusual in the U.S. You order at the cash register in the back of the restaurant and then your food and drinks are brought to you by servers. But, it's not fast food style -- if, as with our visit, the restaurant is busy, you are greeted at the front door by a host(ess) who makes you wait for an available table. Once a table is free, you are directed to the counter, order your meals, and then claim your already reserved table. It makes for a sightly confusing and hectic ordering process, but given the food, who cares?

Zaf and I shared two dishes. Mine was R27: Beef Chow-Fun, a wide rice noodle with beef and a fantastic sauce. The noodles are either made onsite or have never seen a freezer in their lives. Regardless, they're stunning, and the chow fun noodles beat even my perennial favorite, Chinatown Express. The beef itself was excellently flavored, but unfortunately the quality was lower than expected. Zaf had N17: Beef Noodle Soup, a gigantic bowl of soup broth, beef squares, and thin noodles. The soup base and the noodles were again fanastic, perfectly spiced and very smooth. I swear they infused the noodles with cocaine of some type, as I couldn't stop eating them. Again, the beef was less then spectacular, but the noodles more than made up for it.

Recommendation: Get noodle dishes for the noodles and savor the noodles. The meat is just a bonus, anyway.

The entire menu of alphanumeric combinations is available here. Don't salivate too much.

Joe's Noodle House | 1488-C Rockville Pike | Rockville, MD 20852 | (301) 881 - 5518 | www.joesnoodlehouse.com

Alton Brown, revisited

On Fark today, 'Good Eats' host Alton Brown gets a new look.

So a guy walks into a bad joke

So a guy walks into a bar, orders five Baltimore Zoo's. Bartender looks at him and asks, how do you make a Baltimore Zoo? Guy gives him the following recipe:

• 1 shot Gin
• 1 shot light Rum
• 1 shot Sour mix
• 1 shot Triple sec
• 1/2 shot Vodka
• 1 splash Beer
• 1 splash Grenadine

  Pour over ice in a highball glass

The bartender makes five Baltimore Zoos and the guy drinks them all at once. Bartender says, 'buddy, you shouldn’t drink so fast, better slow down'. The guy says, 'you'd drink like this too if you knew what I had'. Bartender says, 'Well what do you have?' Guy says, '50 cents.'

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Doing the national dishes

Inspired by this pho article, someone asked: Why doesn't the United States have a national dish? Mexico has their burritos, the British have beef wellington (or spoted dick, depending on how snarky an answer you want,) the French their cassoulet.

The early contenders are easy to deal with. Sure, the saying goes "nothing's more American than apple pie." But then, oh, there's the cherry pie lobby trying to get their vote in. And what about corn? Can a vegetable take the title? Frankly, all these are too divisive to carry the mandate.

Let's move on to the heavyweights. Like baseball, hot dogs are stereotypically American. Even Upton Sinclair can't argue that. A certain fast-food clown would rather the whole world associated our fine nation with hamburgers, instead. But really, shouldn't we have, well, a slightly fancier national dish? Something we can dress up a little? When the ambassador from Luxembourg comes over for a formal state dinner, I think it'd be a little embarrassing to have ketchup and mustard next to the fine silverware. I don't care how many stars your restaurant has, there's only so far you can go with either the hamburger or the hot dog.

So what's left? Can't we come together and choose a single national dish for all?

Me, I'm rooting for the Twinkie.

-pmmj, Guest Blogger

American Splenda

Following the continuing saga of our favorite least-awful sugar substitute, we have the obligatory legal action:

The marketers of the hot-selling sugar substitute filed a lawsuit in federal district court in Delaware yesterday alleging that the Sugar Association and other groups are waging a "malicious smear campaign" against their product in an attempt to boost sugar sales.

[...]

Yesterday's suit is in response to a false-advertising lawsuit the Sugar Association filed against McNeil [the Splenda people] in California in December, Watts said. That lawsuit, which does not target Tate & Lyle P.L.C., the manufacturer of Splenda, seeks to prevent the marketers of Splenda from continuing what it called a "misleading" advertising campaign.

Nuisance lawsuits rot your teeth, you know.

Winning My Favor

I usually avoid the gayborhood opting instead for slightly ... uhm ... less tacky locales. Like this one. But regardless, tonight I braved the walk down 17th Street - fully adorned in Mardi Gras beads and screaming underage boys who spell it with an i and clearly need to eat more - to have dinner at Peppers.

Peppers has been around for as long as I can remember, and used to have one of the best brunches in town, though the quality has been less reliable in recent years. Our waitress came to take drink orders, but first she commented that I look like Colin Farrell. Now, I've never heard this before, and I'm a bit hurt she didn't at least add "a much younger" before the name.

Tonight's meal (Ancho and Veggie Quesadillas, with a Stoli Vanil and soda) was good. The quesadilla came well stuffed with cheese and lovely roasted veggies, and a side of jicama slaw (which is bloody good!) and some rather bland pico de gallo. The drinks were strong, and to be honest, that's what I was after.

Not fine dining, but a good place to people watch. And waitre