A dirty rumor

Witness the poor server at Rumors Bar and Restaurant in Farragut North. He is the only guy working the entire deck area. Customers are getting anxious and annoyed. A table of four well-dressed college kids who have been there drinking and eating for at least an hour decide it would be cool to leave without paying. He accidentally brings things to the wrong table or forgets them altogether. He thinks that things just couldn't get any better when he finds out….

The "Buffalo chicken sandwich he just brought his last patient customer is spoiled. And I don’t mean like cold, I mean the blue cheese in it is ripe beyond salty-rotten and the chicken itself teeming with happy bacteria. It's as if the entire sandwich has been sitting in the back of someone's drawer a month and just now placed on a bun and served with fries. One taste, carefully spit out into a napkin, is all it takes to realize that this biohazard is not for eating.

Give this poor server a break- it's not his fault that his customers are bastards, his management are assholes, and his kitchen is dangerous. If you're going to drink at Rumors, sit at the bar and stick to something bottled.

Update: Apparently, Rumors has been previously closed down by the Department of Health for five separate unsafe food practices

How sweet

Following our continued coverage of all things artificially sweet, we bring to you the news that Splenda is counter-suing the Sugar Association for claiming that Splenda isn’t 100% super great for you.

Now, besides the freedom of speech issues here, Splenda sales are the highest that they’ve ever been. Coca-Cola says it plans to use Splenda in a new version of Diet Coke, and Snapple can’t get enough to keep itself stocked.

So this would seem a little premature, except for the fact that apparently McNeil Nutritionals, the company that owns Splenda, has ‘an array of lawsuits’, nine consumer class-action suits in several states, and three federal commission complaints against them at this time. BuzzMetrics says that anti Splenda, um, ‘Buzz’, is up to 33%. The number 2 search picture on Google for the word “Splenda” is now the photo of a guy having an allergic reacton.

So perhaps they have reason to be worried after all.

Public Service Announcement

To all you hundereds of folks getting here by searching for the string 'Freaky Rhino' on MSN, you've hit the wrong spot. Perhaps you wanted this site.

The only thing we can do with a freaky rhino here is cook it in a cream sause.

DCFUD Grades DC

DcFüd On The Road: From Washington to the West Coast

Some go to California for the sunshine. After experiencing nearly a week of rain, I question their judgment. But if you’re looking for a place to gain a quick five pounds? Cali’s got you covered.

That’s where I went last week, and now that my vacation has made me even more voluptuous, I’ll be suffering at Gold’s Gym in Rockville over the next few weeks to make up for it. But my impending torture will be worth it, after eating like a queen in the City of Angels. Here are some of the highlights from my brief visit:

Roscoe’s Chicken And Waffles (West Hollywood and other locations): Food was the first thing on my mind when I arrived at LAX airport, and my friends whisked me away to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles (an unexpected, but unbeatable combination, despite the somewhat sketchy exterior).

The two signature dishes aren’t an either/or proposition: many platters combine crispy hunks of poultry and chewy slabs of waffle with abandon. The fried chicken was arguably the best I’ve had (granted, I’m no connoisseur), with a crunchy but flavorful skin covering juicy, perfectly-done meat. I’ve had better waffles, but these were more flavorful than most. I recommend a side dish of biscuits and gravy, which nearly melt with the touch of a fork. If you’re skeptical of Roscoe’s, don’t take my word for it —during my visit, we spotted none other than Stevie Wonder stopping by for a snack.

Boba World/Noodle World (locations throughout CA): Bubble tea has gotten a surprising amount of play on DcFud; I didn’t realize it had much of a following outside Chinatown in Manhattan, where I first sampled it. In California, Boba’s everywhere. There’s Tapioca World. Tapiocaland. Boba-riffic. Ok, now I’m just making stuff up.

My friend Eve is a regular at the two Boba Worlds near Pasadena, and we made at least three stops there during my stay. Its convenient hours (still doing a booming business at 1 a.m.), variety of colorful drinks and steaming noodle dishes make it a great late-night dinner stop. A roast duck lo mein was hearty and tasty, but I was even more fond of rice noodles with beef and Chinese broccoli. I also couldn’t help stealing bites of my friends’ chicken satay (huge hunks of meat and a tangy peanut sauce; possibly the best incarnation of the dish I’ve tasted) and pineapple fried rice, accented with chicken and raisins.

The drinks, though, make this place famous, and you can add Boba, or tapioca pearls, to any of them for just 25 cents. I enjoyed the Thai Iced Tea and Blended Japanese Green Tea, but they have everything from plum to green apple to taro for more adventurous drinkers who like their beverages sweet and icy.

(as a note, if you end up hitting Tapioca World instead, their hot ginger milk tea with boba is unbeatable – tastes like a warm ginger beer).

Pataya Café, Pasadena: In general, I was rarely disappointed with the Asian Cuisine I sampled in California. One highlight was Pataya Café, a small Thai restaurant near the Cal Tech campus in Pasadena. I went there for lunch, and for a $5 special including rice and a spring roll, I had a delicious helping of pork with garlic and ginger. Spicy without being overwhelming. I could have licked the plate, the sauce was so tasty. I nixed that particular breach of decorum in favor of spilling something on myself during EVERY SINGLE meal I ate in CA. I’d also recommend the yellow chicken curry – while nothing particularly unusual, a tasty and subtle rendering of a familiar dish. And don’t forget to order a Thai Iced Tea Slush (tastes just as it sounds) with your meal.

Imperial Palace (Las Vegas): The Imperial is one of the less glitzy casino options in Vegas, with its scantily clad waitresses and more unassuming presence on the strip (unassuming being an extremely relative term in this scenario). Also, rumor has it, it was once owned by Nazi-sympathizers and designed to look like a swastika, but that just may be my coworker running his mouth off.

At any rate, once 11 p.m. hits, the Imperial is home to one of Vegas’ best-kept secrets: its buffet-turned-24-hour coffee shop. An unassuming diner on the second floor, the place runs night-owl specials, including its prime rib sandwich platter with fries for a mere $5.25. The sandwich is huge and unbelievably rare and juicy – the crisp fries to match are a great late-night craving satisfier, particularly when dipped in au jus. Vegas may leave you broke, but spend your last roll of quarters at the Imperial, and you'll go home poor but happy.

Trattoria Acqua (La Jolla, California). The Trattoria is the kind of place I wouldn’t ordinarily go unless someone else was footing the bill, as it was in this case. The place lived up to its moderately-high prices, though. Unique touches at this ocean-view location make the dining experience memorable, such as homemade hummus served with warm bread before the meal.

The calamari was lightly breaded as I like it, but a little gummy for my taste. The baked mussels, however, doused in a pesto-like butter, were amazing. I ordered the Brazillian sea bass, and while the tomato-based sauce wasn’t what I’d expected, the hints of lemon and green pepper added character to the tender but bland fish. A friend enjoyed a lobster and avocado salad appetizer, but unfortunately, we were seated too far apart to sample each other’s choices. I also eyed a dining companion’s lamb chops stuffed with gorgonzola longingly, and a shrimp-covered miniature pizza satisfied another friend’s taste.

Casa De Bandini (Old Town San Diego). Heavy on atmosphere, this largely al-fresco restaurant in Old Town has a competent kitchen to match. We had a light lunch, which became a little less so after filling up on gigantic strawberry and mango margaritas, as well as complimentary chips and salsa. The meatball soup was salty and satisfying. I was less impressed with the tomato-based Aztec soup (to me, it almost tasted like Manhattan clam chowder with some cilantro and sour cream thrown in), but my friend thought it was excellent. The big hit at our table was the taquitos combination platter, serving crispy chicken and beef concoctions with sumptuous homemade guacamole. The service is accommodating and gracious, and the only thing the place lacks are the strolling mariachis a neighboring Mexican joint boasts.

Original Farmer’s Market (Los Angeles): Don’t step on the premises of the farmer’s market in LA and expect to be greeted with hustling stalls, rows of fresh vegetables or brusque butchers. You’ll find them, but they’re nestled between rows of yuppie-shops which have taken off in recent years. But once you escape the faux streets lined with Crate & Barrel and Barnes & Noble, you find an authentic market with too many choices to stick with just one food stand.

We got a quarter pound of the New-Orleans Seasoned Peel and Eat Shrimp at Tusquellas Seafood (I’m still trying to put my fingers on the dominant spice used – my wager is allspice berries), and a bowl of gumbo, served with rice, cornbread and sweet potato chips, at The Gumbo Pot. The gumbo was amazing, subtly spiced enough that a bite of andouille gives an added kick each time you come across a sampling of it. The chips were a little burned-tasting, but when dipped in gumbo, complaints were washed away.

In N Out Burger (various locations): California even does fast food a little bit differently (and no, I’m not talking about the numerous franchises we passed of the dubious Wienerschnitzel). In-N-Out Burger takes fresh to a new level – they don’t even have freezers at their locations, and their fries are often cut that day. My In-N-Out Burger was the first fast food sandwich I’ve had where I didn’t remove the wilted lettuce topping it with disdain. Its bun was crunchy, and the meat patties, while thin, were juicy and satisfying (the thinness explains why many are psyched to order such concoctions as a Double-Double or 4x4).

Much has been made of the restaurant’s "secret menu"; there are even web sites devoted toward the restaurant’s code phrases which debunk some of the urban myths surrounding the place. We had success when ordering a burger "Animal Style," where mustard is cooked with the beef, and having the fries "Well Done" for extra crispiness. Note: skip the "special sauce" if you dislike Thousand Island dressing. The chain likes to brag about its milkshakes, but I found them mediocre.

Now, I could tell you about even more of my meals; my two Dim Sum brunches in Pasadena, an Etrian snack in Culver City, a sampling of the Holy Rings of Betazed at Quark’s Bar in the Hilton in Vegas. We even got commercial and tried to determine if California Pizza Kitchen tastes better in its founding state (the difference is negligible). But I’ve already rambled for far too long—this is DcFüd, not California Cuisine—so I’ll stop my restaurant reminiscing and head back to the gym.

Heroic pizza

The cruelty of bad takeout pizza is a terrible sight to behold. Babies crying, blood everywhere, reruns of reality TV. At least, that was the legacy of the Pizza Hut blitz of ‘02, the Pappa John’s flood of ’04.

And then, like the UN rushing aid to photogenic children, I found Geppetto on 10257 Old Georgetown Road. I’m not saying it’s the best pizza in the city- that post is a toss up between Pizza Mart in Adams Morgan and Pizzeria Parradiso in Dupont. But it is the best pizza that delivers to the suburbs.

Pizzas come in Sicilian Style and Neopolitan Style- The Gourmet Combination has grilled chicken, spinach, roasted peppers, artichokes, and grilled eggplant on it, the crust is crunchy and bubbly and wheaty.

So many lives saved. Thank you Geppetto.

Staying up without an excuse

'The Happy Hooker' boasted that she could live on five hours of sleep a night. Perhaps I just don’t have what it takes- after a few weeks where five hours has been the maximum I'm drooping like her client's anatomy at the end of a long night. Everyone knows that L-tryptophan in poultry can have a sleep-causing affect, but what about to stay awake?

• Eat stuff. - Yes, apparently the very act of eating, moving your hands to your mouth, can be enough to keep you awake

• Drinking a lot and not going to the bathroom - This is actually suggested for people on long car trips- the discomfort will keep you awake. Great.

• Stay away form fruit and milk - they'll pump up the endorphins to your brain and then drop you just when you're getting all excited

• Caffeine of course - One drink should be effective for about 7 hours.

• Eat a steak. - Even small amounts of protein help dopamine production in your brain

• Eat a sandwich - More is less. If you’re going to eat bread, eat some protein with it. This will block the carbs from singing you lullabies.

Bloody hell am I tired. No wild orgies for me tonight.

Wednesdays at Dragonfly

I have always assumed that breakdancing, that lame staple of 7th grade bar mitzvah parties, was a matter of wiggling in a snazzy manner. Not so, says snh, and to prove it last night I got taken to Dragonfly for an evening of popping and locking. I still don’t actually know what that means, but it was sure nifty lookin'.

First stop: around 11 downstairs for some of the best vegetable tempura in the city- fluffy and crunchy - and veggie sushi. I don’t mean those cheesy asparagus and carrot things at the deli salad bar- this was made of spinach, avocado, cucumber, and some kind of root with an exotic name that tasted just like tuna.

Surprisingly good music played upstairs, marred only by the DJ's need to break in every 15 seconds to declare "Lets keep it goin'". It's the only time I've seen an entire bar dancing in front of empty couches, wiggling in unusual and boneless ways. Although clothing is diverse tonight, two types of outfits are predominent: Jeans and some reference to African culture (big floppy hat, green, red and yellow wrist band) or hoochy skirt with thigh high stiletto cowboy boots.

Last night, the ones in stilettoes were not breakdancing. A large circle had formed and 5 folks in softer shoes (men and women, both) with muscles coming out of their eyebrows were performing feats of unbelievably athletic groovability. The organizer of this weekly ritual, a mohawked Asian guy, performed a well choreographed cameo that ended in holding a whole body pose at 45 degrees, a one handed handstand, backflip out, and then something freaky with his feet. I vaguelly found myself wondering what the enthusiastic but notoriusly uncoordinated goths at Nation's weekly Alchemy event would have thought.

I admit, even after my $7 gin and tonic it was a little intimidating- and that's not counting the very real threat of a foot to the face. Instead, we ended up with a smaller group to the side- they were members of a weekly breakdancing dance class at a Bethesda studio and hadn't gotten to floor moves lessons yet.

Even the kitchen staff in long white aprons standing around the edges of the crowd were watching. Now that's authentic.

Dragonfly | 1215 Connecticut Ave. NW

Drink like a rock star

This is a good month for trying strange new drinks with questionable properties. The excellent Greek Deli on 19th Street carries Rockstar Energy Drink, which is exactly the type of beverage which must be purchased and consumed simply for the sake of blogging.

According to its its 16 oz. can, Rockstar is "enhanaced with the potent herb milk thistle" and is "scientifically formulated to speed the recovery time of those who lead active and exuasting lifestyles--from athletes to rock stars." On the official Web site (note the clever URL), you can purchase official Rockstar merchandise, including a stylish trucker hat (my birthday is in July, in case anybody is wondering).

The president of the company is a gentleman named Russell Goldencloud Weiner. The drink smells and tastes like carbonated cough syrup. One hour after consumption, I don't feel much like a rock star, but the rainbows are finally beginning to melt off the walls of my office, and now I feel an urge to go trash a hotel room.

This post fueled but not paid for by Rockstar Energy Drink.

And that's why he teaches Psychology

This isn’t exactly a restaurant review, but this is a great article in the City Paper about the dean of psychology at the University of Maryland who has eaten every day at Marcel’s for the last couple years.

If you want to read about someone who has truly come to terms with his food psychosis, this is the article for you.

http://restaurants.washingtoncitypaper.com/hungry.php?week=20050318

-Thanks to pmmj for the link

Get rid of the evidence curry

It's 1936 outside of the Skeesie National Bank. You're honking on the horn of your Studebaker yelling, 'You dumb mugs, grab the dough!' A tall thin man and a short fat man wearing tiny masks bounce down the steps and into the car. As you swerve from side to side down Main Street, Freddy the Finger opens a burlap sack with a "$" printed on it, displaying piles of crisp green centuries.

'Wooo-ee, It's the corn for us tonight' whoops Joe the Other Finger. But you know better- if you don’t make that scratch disappear fast all three of you will end up in Chicago Overcoats by morning. Luckily, you have our recipe for "Get Rid of the Evidence Curry"

A distant cousin of Procedural Stew, the point of Get Rid of the Evidence Curry is to start with a curry base and then add in whatever you happen to have lying around until it tastes decent. Many strange things can disappear into that pot including any three-week leftovers, gourmet ingredients, and illegal contraband you have without leaving a trace.

• Dice a white onion and at least three garlic cloves. Saute in butter or a very small amount of oil until squishy- add some chili powder or other base-taste of choice (cumin's a good one, so is pepper).

• Toss in whatever kind of meat you have around: Chicken, pork, ground beef, steak chunks, leftover turkey, spam. Brown.

• When everything's looking nice and reasonable, add a curry base. Tika masala, korma, vindaloo, they're sold in glass containers in your international isle everywhere. Trying to rough it? Use cubes of Chinese curry bullion or powdered mixes and chicken broth instead. Don’t use curry powder at this point- your result will end up grainy.

• Alright, this is where you clean out the fridge. If you have it, toss it in. Some of my favorites: Mushrooms, tomatoes (crushed), leftover coconut millk, green peppers, potato salad (really!), scallions, chilis, spinach, frozen peas, sour cream, plain yoghurt, beans (not baked), cinnamon, and chickpeas.

• Add some chopped cilantro, lots of it, some curry and chili powder, and serve on rice.

At the very least, this stuff can probably hide any rhino, mazuma, lettuce, sugar, spinach, kale, jack, geetus, cush, or cabbage, all of which my gangster dictionary tells me are 1930's slang for 'money'.

Get into your car and drive to the tropics

As depressing as it sounds, urban living is now a "niche" lifestyle, like living on a farm or a houseboat. Immigrants no longer move to big cities as soon as they land, and no longer form the ethnic enclaves that make city life so interesting for adventurous eaters.

A new ethnic restaurant opening within city limits is less likely to be an unassuming but excellent hole in the wall catering to transplants and more likely to use the words "fusion" or "refined with hints of authenticity" to describe the food or the decor. Especially in DC, if you want ethnic food eaten by the people who cook it at home, you're gonna have to brave the 'burbs.

If you want a fake Jamaican patty, go to Julia's Empenadas in D.C. If you want a real patty, spicy, orange, flaky and perfect in every way, go to York Castle Ice Cream in an unassuming strip mall just south of the Beltway on Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring.

Yes, beef (spicy and mild, chicken and vegetarian too) at an ice cream shop. Believe it.

And believe that the ice cream there is also a cut above. Passion Fruit, Soursop (just try it), and Guiness are not something you're going to find at Cold Stone Creamery, no many how much money you spend for some flunkie to pound candy into your ice cream. It's all delicious, so feel free to choose anything, even if you're not sure what it looks like in fruit form. I had the Guiness (tart but sweet) and Soursop (like a mango, but less, umm, mango-y) and it was great.

Another great thing: two patties and two two-scoop cups of ice cream ran about $11. That's a whole meal for less than the cost of a dirty look at TenPenh.

York Castle Ice Cream
9324 Georgia Ave
Silver Spring, MD
301-589-1616

Hard Thymes

Thyme Square Café is supposed to offer free wireless. But who can tell, with the more than a dozen networks available (one from the picturesque car dealership 100 yards away) if any of them are actually provided by the café itself. In any case, its good that there are so many entertainment options at this cute yuppie bistro in Bethesda, since you'll wait for at least an hour for your food to arrive.

I'm still trying to figure out why. The restaurant was completely deserted except for us and a middle-aged couple showing off their new streaming-video cell phone. We sat outside on the asphalt terrace on a pretty, warm day, so there could not have been any climactic difficulties. And yet, when our shrimp pizza finally arrived an hour later after much Blue Moon ale and yawning, it was not only average-tasting, but only barely lukewarm. It was like, despite the entire place being deserted, it had been sitting under the heat lamps for 20 minutes. Very weird.

Anyway, if you have a lot of spare time on your hands and an undiscerning palate, Thymes Square is one of the few places you can eat outside in Bethesda. But I have yet to eat anything in that entire subburb that challenges its title for upper-class boredom and mediocrity.

Sorry, my spell check's out. (Spelling corrected by the spelling and grammar police -- amg)

Thyme Square Cafe | 4735 Bethesda Ave., Bethesda, MD | 20814

Green Fairy, why do you hate me so?

This and other questions- like is it really possible for eyeballs to grow hair and why is my brain leaking out of my ears- are what I'm contemplating this Friday morning. Bloody hell.

The lovely lafb, having recently returned from Barcelona, was kind enough to get a respectable amount of Absinthe through customs in an empty plastic water bottle. There was only one thing to be done, so last night maw, rj3, zaf, snh, wrc, amg, and ejg got together to do our bright green duty.

The water technique- dripping water over sugar cubes placed on a fork or slotted spoon until they have melted into a single shot of Absinthe- was overturned in favor of the fire technique- a process that uses no water, a healthy dose of pyromania, and incidentally three shots of Absinthe. And cheap white wine as a chaser.

Instructions: Soak sugar cubes in Absinthe placed on spoon. Set on fire. Burn till sugar caramelizes. Stir. Add a healthy splash of water to give it a pretty milky color and change the taste from completely intolerable to moderately intolerable. Your lips will then go numb.

Results? Well, folks ended up rocking out to Thriller played on an old fashioned record player. amg and rj3 decided that it was a great idea to enthusiastically deep fat fry some Sylvia's hush puppies. Break dancing was perpetrated. Other stuff probably happened.

Anyway, some of us made it to work this morning, others did not. Green Fairy, you are a cruel little girl.

A Tough Assignment

This past Sunday, I was privileged to attend the Sixth Annual Washington DC International Wine & Food Festival. Well, let me append that. I was privileged to have someone get me in on a dealer's badge, so I didn't have to pay and got to go in hours before the general public.

Not having been to anything like it before, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I mean, you hear 'over 1,700 wines from over 240 wineries from around the world.' But it is something of a sight to behold. Filling up the main hall of the Convention Center with row after row and table after table of fine wines and spirits, the physics of it are somewhat baffling.

As the designated driver*, I didn't try out quite as many wines as my companions. And really, I don't think it'd be possible to even try the majority of them without alcohol poisoning. However, there were still some finds of the 21 or so I sampled.

So, some highlights. The Australian vintner Meinklang always suggested something else first, but it was their ice wine** that was drawing a crowd. PJ Valkenburg had one of the best Rieslings I've had in a long time. On the red side of the fence, the Ventisquero Grey (from, uh, Chile?) was smooth and friendly. And the Terramater altum shiraz, that I could drink all night. I will be tracking down something by Weingut Josef Bauer later (and the wine was poured by Mr. Bauer himself!) Banrock also had a white shiraz and a sparkling shiraz, if you're not overly fancy and like getting creative. (continued)

pmmj, Guest Blogger

And I wrote down a bunch more, so if you have a personal favorite, drop itin comments, I'll see what else I might have scribbled down to remember.

And oh, the cheese. igourmet.com won the day here, with many tasty selections and easy internet ordering, for your cheesy needs. The Meinblang table also had a fine sheep cheese on their table which tempted me back for seconds.

Side note #1:
Everyone was happy. No, really. Usually at these things, there's a fair subset of disgruntled employees who are just manning booths because they have to, and see no need to be helpful *and* friendly. Not so here. It was like a big boozey love-in, everyone was friendly.

Side note #2:
One of the DJs from 100.3 was there... handing out cheese. Write your own joke there.

Side note #3:
Marc Silverstein from the Food Network's "The Best Of" provided color commentary for one of the cooking demonstrations, but allow me to note how unimpressive it was. I seriously thought it was some local news 'celebrity' who was hamming it up on stage.

Side note #4:
While I appreciate Giant wanted to advertise their Peapod delivery service there, having a guy dress up as a big pea pod might go over better in a different venue.

Side note #5: Wineries need better websites. Really.

* - Don't fret, I assure you I tried out no small number of wines.

** - I confess I'm a sucker for ice wine, but this really was that good.

pmmj, Guest Blogger

Better than the real thing

The Ambassador Dining Room in Baltimore, famous for its sumptuous champagne brunches and beautiful garden seating, is my favorite English-style Indian place in the world. That list includes the English-style Indian in England; Brick Lane may be good but Ambassador is better.

But Baltimore is far away and scary, so for the rest of us there's Heritage India in Dupont. As the creeping tentacles of tapas invades every cuisine, we finally find a place that does tiny, pretty, traditional dishes right.

I highly suggest the Vegetable Fritters and any of the curried specialties. There's an extensive vegetarian menu and enough breads to tempt the most hard core Atkinser. I've read a few complaints about service online but I found it just fine. Prices are shockingly acceptable.

Wedding like the Italians do it

I've never understood those lyrics from the Police song, ' I resolved to call her up/a thousand times a day/and ask her if she'd marry me/ in some old-fashioned way'. What, you mean old fashioned like over the phone? That just never made any sense. Why not go really old fashioned and do it by text message, loser.

Of course, to ask her to marry you in a truly old fashioned way, you'd need a club and a dry cave somewhere.

Fortunately the Italians are one up on us as the originators of Italian Wedding Soup. I'm not sure how old fashioned it is, but its gotta be better than asking her by fax or IM. Alright, actually the phrase 'wedding soup' is a popular mistranslation, the 'wedding' in it refers to the ingredients going well together. Whatever.

Simplified Italian Wedding Soup:

• Chunk and lightly brown a parsnip, two carrots, a large onion and a huge handful of basil. Add plenty of fresh pepper and four chicken thighs, some herbs de provence, and oregano.

• Cover with chicken broth, and simmer until the chicken is tender. You may have to fish out the bones.

• Add directly to the soup a cup of either Israeli couscous or small macaroni, cook until tender

• Tear the leaves off a whole head of escarole. Mix into soup and let sit until wilted and tender. Tender is a big part of this recipe.

• Mix together three eggs and half a cup of fresh grated parmesan cheese. Bring the soup to a boil and whisk in the mixture. Final color should be a fluffy white.

• Serve with even more fresh pepper. Adding meatballs is a popular variation- can't say I'm a fan tho.

Where Will You Be Tonight?

At the hippest DJ night in town, of course.

Bluestate is back for time #3.

If anyone wants to get there early and eat dinner at Cafe Saint Ex, we'd love a report.

Lunchtime Losses

I have no interest in sports whatsoever, but nevertheless, I still have pride in my alma mater, Fordham University. Unfortunately, my coworker's pride in GW was better-placed, as it caused her to win our wager on who would triumph in last week’s basketball game. The winner got to choose today's lunch spot - and the loser had to pay. But as another coworker who came along for the ride observed, there really were no winners this afternoon.

My friend’s choice was Napoli (or “Crappoli,” as she maturely christened it later), an Italian restaurant in the second floor at the intersection of Thayer and Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring. The restaurant offers a $5.99 lunch buffet, which sounded promising. Perhaps, though, we should have taken the fact we were the only patrons in the restaurant as a negative sign.

Entrée choices for the buffet included overcooked penne with a lackluster alfredo sauce; similarly overdone spaghetti marinara with a side of diced ham which I avoided entirely; a seafood concoction none of us could identify (it appeared to include clams and artichokes, but if I bet money on it, my losing streak could certainly continue); and pale slices of chicken floating on top a bed of capers (those were edible). A haphazard, messy-looking salad bar with minimal and largely unappetizing toppings was also included. They did make a decent balsamic dressing; no complaints there. Later in our lunch, added to the buffet were bread (served without butter or olive oil, but at least it seemed fairly fresh) and pizza with gobs of cheese reminiscent of elementary school cafeterias.

I’d like to think the place was having an "off" afternoon, but with no single dish making a positive impression, my skepticism is winning out. Worse, it took us 10 minutes to flag down our waitress for the check. The reason? She was sitting at the bar, talking on her cellular phone, her back to us.

As an almost-comical conclusion, my coworker noticed something suspicious crawling along the surface of a neighboring table. The meal became a cliché as we spotted a cockroach inhabiting the premises. My friend joked that the bug was wise enough to stay away from the table which actually contained food.

So Napoli was a disappointment. Perhaps my Fordham pride, which forced me to pay for a bad meal twice, is also inhibiting my enjoyment of local Italian food, as I long for the restaurants of Fordham’s neighboring Arthur Avenue.

But after my last mediocre Italian experience, I’m wondering if the city which excels at Ethopian, Indian and even Burmese has one type of food it just hasn't mastered yet. Has anyone else found Italian in Silver Spring worth boasting about? I really don’t want to have to settle for the Macaroni Grille.

Crazy stuff goes down at Soho

It’s an age-old question, at what point in a civilized society does it become acceptable to resort to violence. Well, I think everyone at Soho Tea and Coffee with me tonight will agree that the line had been crossed long before the guy in question was dragged out into the street and given a thorough ass-beating, and this is me, reformed hippy and tie-dye-wearer speaking.

For everyone who wasn’t there, participating in Soho’s weekly Monday-night stand-up presentation was an unusually persistent heckler. Most of the comedians were able to shrug him off until he started to get more threatening, stealing a cell phone (and one poor guy’s stand-up notes) and starting fights with the other patrons.

At the mike was DC Improv instructor Matt Kazam, showing balls of steel for refusing to cut his set short despite increasingly violent threats with, of all things, a screwdriver. There were requests to leave which caused random profanity, and the police were taking their sweet time to show up when the guy suddenly walked across the crowded room and tried to attack someone behind the counter.

This seemed to be the final straw for the crowd of sore comedians and at that point a whole bunch of them pulled the guy outside and, according to Matt still at the mike, beat him ‘till his sandwich went all over the place’. Apparently unphased, he then got up and decided to frequent the Fireplace across the street instead.

The vigilante comedians returned to a hearty round of applause and cheers- more than their routines had elicited- high fives all around, and a free latte for at least one of them. And because attending this was a DC Improv class, the whole thing was taped. I will pay serious money if someone will get me a copy.

And if that isn’t weird enough, I then ran into my awesome old Rabbi from New York. Soho Tea and Coffee is a weird weird place.

Soho Tea and Coffee | 2150 P St.

Get Your Kimchee!

A study from Seoul National University indicates that the famous and (sometimes, when it's good) delicious Korean dish kimchee helps fight off bird flu. Now all I need is to find some (or a recipe!)

Smith and Kearns

My mother introduced me to this drink last night, by way of a slightly-less-too-much-information-than-usual-for-my-mother story of how it was introduced to her. I have, however, yet to hear a decent explanation of how it got such a strange name. Good thing that isn't one of the questions on the Alcohol Test. Anyone here know?

Smith and Kearns
1 part Kahlua
1 part cream
1 part seltzer
3 ice cubes
Serve in a snifter.

Felled by Falafel

So apparently everyone and their mom has reviewed the Amsterdam Falafel Shop in Adams Morgan. I walked out of there Friday night saying 'goddamn, someone should do a review of that place' and was promptly informed that everyone has.

Well, if we can't be original, at least allow us to be vocal. This is the best Falafel I've ever had and baby I've eaten falafel in some strange places. The chickpea balls (crunch patties!) are a meal of themselves, the pita toasted, and everything available in small and regular, both of which are actually large. The toppings bar contains old favorites like tomato salad, tahini, and hummus, and more unusual ones like beets and some great spicy green stuff.

The sign on the menu promises no pot in any of the food. The people behind the counter are so friendly you don’t believe the sign. Amsterdam Falafel is my new Jumbo Slice.

+5 points if you get the 'crunch patties' reference.

Didn't Get the Results You Expected?

It's time for another installment of DCFUD's wacky and unexpected search results.

1. Props to maw for landing us a top 10 MSN hit for transvestites with this post.
2. Fud is #7 on MSN for grate white shark, a long-overdue topic which needs to be explored further in some sort of instructional post. One might want to freeze the shark first, to make for easier grating, wouldn't you say?
3. Breading on greyhound. Ick. Do you think they meant breeding on Greyhound? God we hope not. Maybe it was how to breed greyhounds. We are prepared to accept that.
4. Brown leather sofas. Mmmkay.
5. Hairy breast photographs. We can't find the post that allegedly contained these words, but that doesn't make it any less alarming. Nightmares, anyone? You're welcome! Please come again.

German nostalgia

It’s a terrible thing to be pulled away from your native homeland at a tender age and thrust into a cruel and unfamiliar culture. I don’t actually know anyone that this has happened to, but I do know the pain of being denied chocolate, which is probably just as bad.

Luckily, there is a store near McPhearson square made to cater to both me and my fellow sufferers. Weeping for German, Hungarian, Latvian, Norwegian, Canadian, Swedish, Danish, Dutch, Swiss, or Finnish? The German Deli and its associated Mozart Café contains a deli, grocery store, desert counter and restaurant all in one.

Here you will find pork schnitzel, spaetzle, sauerbraten, hasenpfeffer, linzertorte, choclate cakes, and those awesome ginger cookie things dipped in chocolate you can only seem to find at German or Swiss places. There is a whole wall covered in oddly-shaped marzipan and euro-style Kinder Chocolate to soothe both pains at once. Oh, and more chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

German Deli, 1331 H St

The chicken responsibility

There are three skills that every human should be able to do well. One is to sew on a button, since life contains many situations where a button may pop off. The second is to be reasonably skilled in some of the more interesting examples of those situations which might cause a button to pop off. And third, you should know how to roast a chicken.

Well, the first your mom should teach you, the second you can only learn from practice. But today, gratis, I will tell you how to roast a chicken right.

• Compound butter is the key to this recipe. Have some ready made and softened to near-room temperature, along with a lemon, an onion, and a decent sized chicken, washed and dried with the insides taken out.

• Towards the back cavity, carefully lift up the skin and, with a 'hooking motion' with your finger, separate the membrane from the meat. There will be a tougher membrane down the center you will have to break, and another one separating the area between the leg and the main breast area. Loosen the skin all the way over the top, leaving It attached near the neck.

• Now, take your compound butter and stuff it all the way under the skin until you have a layer ¼ of an inch thick under the entire top surface. Make sure to get some under the skin on the legs.

• Rub the inside of the cavity with Vegeta (garlic powder if you don’t have it) salt, and pepper. Quarter the lemon and chunk the onion, and stuff them both into the cavity along with more butter and some rosemary or garlic cloves.

• Now it's time to truss this lovely thing, use twine to cross the legs and tie them securely. Make another pass around the top of the chicken, binding the wings to the body.

• Rub the chicken all over with olive oil, and then rub with Vegeta and salt. Place it in a roasting pan and fill the bottom with a half inch of chicken broth.

• Preheat the oven to 475 and put the chicken in for 15 minutes. Then turn the heat down to 425. I start checking the temperature with a meat thermometer after about 45 minutes - check it in the breast area without breaking the skin (which is holding all that butter in) or touching a bone (which could throw the reading off). I try to shoot for 177-180 degrees. Add more chicken broth if at any time the bottom looks in danger of drying out- you shouldn’t need to baste this bird but you can if you want.

• Take the chicken out of the oven and let it sit on a platter for a few minutes. Don’t cover with tin foil; just let everything solidify a bit.

• Using a large, non-serrated knife, cut the thighs and wings from the body. Search around with the tip until you find the joint and apply pressure there, they should just slide off. Dark meat gets done at a different temperature than light meat- if you have to put the thighs back in the oven for a few minutes don’t be embarrassed to do so. Starting at the top of the chicken, slide the knife down as close to the ribcage as possible. The breast should come off in one big chunk- chicken does not get sliced like a turkey.

So that's it, all you need to know to complete the third of your three responsibilities as a human. I can't help you with the other two tho, I can't sew worth a damn.

The Language of Food

My word-a-day e-mails follow a different theme each week, and last week's concerned eating and drinking:

Ebrious
1. Inclined to excessive drinking.
2. Tipsy.
[From Latin ebrius (drunk). Two cousins of this word are inebriated and sobriety.]
[Blogger's speculation: possibly related to Arabic word ibrik?]

Sitophobia
A morbid aversion to food
[From Greek sito- (food) + -phobia (fear, aversion).]
The word is also spelled as sitiophobia. Two related words are sitomania
(abnormal craving for food), and sitology (the study of nutrition).

Polyphagia
1. Excessive appetite or eating.
2. The habit of feeding on many kinds of food.
[From Modern Latin, from Greek polyphagia, from polyphagos, from poly- (much, many) + phagy (eating).]

Bibacious
Overly fond of drinking.
[From Latin bibere (to drink).]

Postprandial
After a meal, especially dinner.
[From Latin post- (after) + prandium (meal). Ultimately from Indo-European root ed- (to eat or to bite) that has given other words such as edible, comestible, obese, etch, and fret.]
Two siblings of this word are preprandial (before a meal) and prandial (relating to a meal).

New and Improved, Awesome Extremely South Beach-Safe Chocolate Cheesecake

So you tried our South Beach-safe Cheesecake last week? What’s that? It sucked? Yeah, yeah, it did.

At the time it didn’t taste too bad, but I’ll never go back now that I’ve had my awesome New and Improved, Awesome Extremely South Beach-Safe Chocolate Cheesecake. This baby has about 150 calories per slice (about the same as a regular piece of cheese), two grams of fat, two net carbs, and incidentally also tastes like cheesecake.

• The key to this recipe is gelatin- you can find it in the grocery store near the Jello mixes and pudding stuff. How often do you get to use powdered horse hooves in your desert? plus it’s ambiguously kosher! Can this recipe get any cooler? Boil a cup of water and dissolve in a standard envelope of gelatin (about 7g) and 7 packets of Splenda.

• With a mixer, combine 16 oz of lowfat (not nofat) cream cheese with three tablespoons of vanilla. Slowly pour in the gelatin mixture and mix until smooth and soupy. Lick the beaters ‘casue no one’s looking.

• Add three tablespoon cocoa powder, or more to taste and mix well. And by “to taste” I mean wait till everything turns brown.

• Pour mixture into a pie dish and let it harden in the fridge. It will take about two hours to get hard and tasty- you can then top it with cocoa powder, chopped walnuts or….

That toping from the last recipe that was actually pretty good

• Beat together one cup lowfat sour cream, three packets Splenda, and a tsp of vanilla. Spread it evenly over the top.

Aww, Nuts!

This month's Gourmet is all about London, so it was a surprise to find a recipe from a local restaurant in the magazine. Katherine M. Whann of Washington, D.C. wrote in asking for TenPenh's recipe for Chocolate-Covered Cashews. Holy Yum! The recipe does have a lot of messy syrup and chocolate going on, but if you're absolutely dying for a taste of TenPenh at home how's a little sugar and chocolate gonna stop you? Thank you Gourmet and Katherine M. Whann! The cashew recipe hasn't made it to Gourmet's website yet so we've slavishly duplicated it for you here. You can also browse their 'You Asked For It' archive to see recipes from a handful of other local restaurants. TenPenh is also kind enough to post some of their recipes on their website if you're looking for something a little more substantial.

Chocolate-Covered Cashews
Adapted from TenPenh
Makes about 3 1/2 cups
Active time: 20 min Start to finish: 1 1/2 hr

These chocolaty cashews make a perfect after-dinner treat to serve with coffee or tea.

1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cups whole raw cashews (1/2 lb)
1 table spoon unsalted butter
8 oz fine-quality bittersweet chocolate (not unsweetened or extra-bitter), chopped
3 tablespoons unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder

• Line bottom of a shallow baking pan with parchment or wax paper
• Bring sugar, water, and salt to a boil in a 12-inch heavy skillet, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Reduce heat and simmer syrup 2 minutes.
• Put nuts in a large heatproof bowl, then add syrup and toss with a wooden spoon until nuts are coated and sugar begins o crystallize, about 3 minutes.
• Return nuts to skillet and cook over moderate heat, stirring constantly, until sugar coating is golden and no longer crystallized, 5 to 8 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in butter.
• Spread nuts in 1 layer in baking pan and cool to room temperature, about 20 minutes.
• When nuts are cool, transfer to a bowl, reserving baking pan with parchment. Heat half of chocolate in microwave-safe dish in microwave (see cooks' note, below) and 50 percent power until melted, checking frequently after 2 minutes. Add remaining chopped chocolate to melted chocolate and stir until smooth, then pour over nuts and let stand, stirring occasionally, until chocolate is almost set, 20 to 25 minutes.
• Sift 2 tablespoons cocoa powder over nuts and toss to coat.
• Return nuts to parchment-lined baking pan, separating nuts with your hands, and let stand until chocolate is completely set, about 30 minutes more.
• Toss nuts with remaining tablespoon cocoa powder.

Cooks' notes:

• We tested this recipe in an 800-watt microwave oven. If yours is less (or more) powerful, adjust the melting time accordingly.
  
• Chocolate-covered cashews keep in an airtight container at room temperature 3 days.

Malaysian on our minds

DcFüd apparently was craving Malaysian on Saturday. While Zaf was heading to Penang with Maw, I decided to give Malaysia Kopitiam, at 1827 M. Street NW, a try.

Using the Washingtonian’s cheap dining guide as our, well, guide, my three companions and I started our meal with chicken satay and an order of roti canai, a flat bread served with a spicy, curry-flavored, stew-like sauce of potatoes and chicken. The satay was arguably the best I’ve had, competing with Pongsri Thai Restaurant in Manhattan; it was juicy and hearty with a perfectly-spiced peanut sauce on the side. The bread was a surprise hit, as the sauce was a great blend of heat and sweet, and complimented the crispy bread. At $4 an appetizer, each was a steal.

As for main courses, I went with one of the "noodles with gravy" options. I chose the Malaysian pork dish, and one of my companions tried the beef. Despite the similar descriptions of our choices, each was unique – mine had a rich, savory sauce with a slight kick, while my friend's was sweeter, but spicier. Both were excellent – the addition of large slices of shitake mushrooms added substance to my dish. Another friend tried vermicelli with shrimp, which seemed blander in comparison to our noodle choices. While my other friend’s deep fried Nyonya Chicken offered a satisfying portion, it was a bit cloyingly sweet for my taste. Then again, my friend enjoyed it quite a bit, and if he hadn’t, it would have been his own fault for making his choice exclusively because he enjoys saying "Nyonya."

To go with our meals, we ordered Malaysian iced tea and coffee, which were both delicious. My palate isn’t really capable of distinguishing between Burmese Iced Tea and the Malaysian version I sampled Saturday, but a friend and I independently assessed each version as "Thai Iced Tea Mixed With Quick." The Malaysian coffee was reminiscient of chocolate, as well as nutmeg – a great choice for those who like the taste of their coffee masked by other flavors, as I do.

If Malaysian food sounds like an intimidating culinary adventure for you, don’t worry. The place provides you with detailed descriptions and photographic menus to let you know what each disk looks like before you make your selection. Spicy and "not-spicy" options also are clearly indicated.

Malaysia Kopitiam offers a variety of choices for every preference, and the prices are a steal. But my recommendation? Use those mouthwatering photographs, not the occasionally-amusing names of the dishes, as the basis for choosing your entrée.

The daily 15

15 bucks seems to be exactly average for a regular mid-range quality dinner in Dupont. Sure there are cheaper places in that category, but there are also more expensive - 15 will get you two courses at that mediocre French place just north of the circle, an entree and wine at Thaiphoon, or just a glasses of wine and a sneer at Afterwords.

So if you’re going to spend 15 bucks anyway, you might as well take it over to Penang- the best Malaysian place I know of and one of the most enjoyable places to spend 45 minutes. I say 45 minutes because the service is so fast you’ll be back in the tasteful wood and brass bar/entry area before you realize you’ve sat down.

MAW and I ended up at the downtown one on Saturday night and were able to get a table with only a few minutes wait. Our waiters were so enthusiastic to get our order that we had to explain twice we’d already been waited on. In the amount of time it takes to say “lovely brown and orange yuppie Asian décor” I had two hollowed out mango halves stuffed with sweet barbequed shrimp in front of me. Maw ended up with some kind of awesome squishy curried meat; neither of us could figure out exactly what was in it but we polished it off without complaint.

I highly suggest Penang for anyone who wants something decent, but are sick of giving your daily $15 to Mimi’s.

'Pho sure

Sorry about the title but zaf be riddled with leftover alcohol toxins and calf-pain from last night's dance floor overenthusiasm. The only thing that comforts her is the thought of yummy yummy pho from Pho 95, the awesome Rockville noodle soup restaurant tried last week with rj3.

Oh for one kitchen sink-sized bowl of steaming beef broth, the thick slabs of meat (I tried steak, rj tried brisket) bobbing away in the mysterious soup currents. The long glassy noodles, the fresh bean sprouts, the little condiment tray with soy sauce, sweet hoysin sauce, and that awesome spicy red oil. This place really knows its stuff- everything fresh and tasty and so very very unpainfull.

Pho would be the edible equivalent of a heating pad right about now. Instead I'm downing lukewarm coffee with powdered creamer and advil.

Pho 95 | 785 Rockville Pike

Spices Part 2: The Well-Stocked Cabinet

Yes many seasonings taste better fresh, yes it's great if you plan your meals three days in advance. But who are we kidding- the store is far far away and its cold out.

As part 2 of DCFüd Responds: Spices, these are the non-perishable items that I say should come with any house when you buy it. I'm leaving out the fresh, and the more exotic but less-used seasonings- you can get your cold lazy ass over to the grocery store the few times a year you want them

1. Vegeta - you say you've been trying our recipes but I call your bluff. At least half of them contain Vegeta. If you don't got Vegeta, you dont got nothing. If you are about to add salt or garlic to something, chances are you'd get better results adding Vegeta instead.

2. Chinese Curry Powder - Don't get that awful yellow dust in the spices isle, go over to the international foods- or better yet, an Asian grocery store, and find a tin or a plastic packet of good, rich yellow curry. You should be able to smell the happiness through the packaging.

3. Paprika – Any time you use flour for a savory purpose, mix in some paprika. Also great on steaks, rubbed into chicken. on melted cheese, or just for coloring

4. Sea Salt – 'nuff said

5. Cinnamon – its actually amazing how much stuff cinnamon makes taste better. Any kind of stew, gravy, sautéed veggies, Chinese and Thai, and of course, hot chocolate.

6. Chicken Bullion - Considering how many dishes require chicken broth, it's good to keep some around

7. Blackening Seasoning - This is the closest there exists to a "universal seasoning mix." Besides going on all fish, chicken, steak, pork, and veggies, its great on popcorn and the family pet.

8. Powdered Garlic – Invaluable in any kind of breading, savory pie, crepe, hamburger, chicken, and all those places where you probably should have been using Vegeta but were too lazy to get it.

9. Soy sauce – Points for keeping different kinds for Japanese food and Chinese food. Use darker soy sauce for stir-frys, lighter with sherry or ginger for marinades (don’t get the two kinds confused or you will be faced with the over salting of dooooom).

10. Sun-dried tomatoes - Recipe for instant respect: Angel hair pasta, cheap-ass tomato sauce, a cup of red wine, half a cup finely chopped sun-dried tomatoes. Bask.

11. Ginger - Important stuff for Asian cooking, sweet marinades, and anything baked. Incidentally, it's great in tea.

12. Teriyaki sauce- Everything above, except the part about the baked stuff and tea.

13. Basel – A no-brainer. If it’s a recipe of European decent, think about putting it in. Actually, if it's a recipe, think about putting it in

14. Dill weed – While this is much better fresh, the dried version can be used in a pinch for soups and sauces. Consider it required if you plan to cook anything vaguely Russian.

15. Chili powder – It ain't just for tacos anymore. Without this stuff I might have scurvy now since I refuse to eat vegetables without it. And of course, it's good in chili. Also on steaks. And things.

16. White wine – I know it gets nasty pretty fast, all the more reason to use it up quicker. Everyone should be required to cook with white wine at least once a week.

17. Cumin – if you're only going to get one ethnic ingredient, get curry. If you're going to get two, get cumin.

18. Vanilla – Assume you're going to need it any time you bake, so you might as well have some around. Which reminds me, I don’t have any around. Used it all up in last night's cheesecake.

19. Tabasco sause - Every house needs central heating and a good non- ethnic tasting one is always Tabasco. Not a Tabasco fan? I highly highly suggest Jump Up and Kiss Me Hot Sauce

A DCFüd Odessy

DCFüd writers ZAF, LAFB, RJ, SNH, MJF, and I gathered yesterday evening at ZAF (and AMG)’s place to cook and eat and be merry. LAFB and I began the evening by frightening ZAF and SNH with our nerdiness (a discussion of epidemiology, grad schools, and statistics), but quickly topics moved on to more appropriate things like music and transvestites and strippers. ZAF’s delicious guacamole kicked off the evening’s munchies, followed by MJF’s dumplings. I’m not sure what were in them exactly, but they were damn tasty…light and sweet and fresh tasting. ZAF roasted chickpeas into a bowl of dense, flavorful munchiness. SNH brought homemade bread (one of my favorite combination of words!). ZAF prepared a beautiful roast chicken, using compound butter and onions and things. Our penultimate course, it was really phenomenal.

Since my plan was to come directly from work, I was to create my dish from whatever ingredients happened to be available, plus sweet potatoes and carrots and radishes. So, it was going to be a procedural beef stew, the procedure being: add to pot; cook till done; spice till yummy. In went the beef (there wasn’t much, since it was scavenged from the freezer), more as a flavoring than main ingredient. First I cubed it, then browned it slightly in the pot with some sesame oil and kosher salt. Then I added water to the pot, plus some chicken bullion, and let that come to a boil. Once it had, I added two peeled and cubed sweet potatoes, about a half pound of baby carrots, about 10 radishes cut in two, and a bay leaf. Once it returned to a boil, I added ground allspice, ground ginger, and a bit of turmeric. I realized I’d probably added too much water, but hoped it would boil down. After a while, when the potatoes were nearly done (meaning: soft), there was still too much water, and the broth was not being very tasty. I added lots more allspice and ginger, a pinch or two rosemary, black pepper, and a few shakes paprika.

Tasty, but still too much liquid. LAFB searched the cupboards, and located a box of plain couscous, which I added to the boiling stew. I also threw in a small handful of chopped onion, left from ZAF’s chicken stuffing, mostly because it was there. The couscous cooked, absorbing almost all the liquid, making the stew more like a thick salad. I added more allspice and ginger, because couscous does dull flavor a bit. Then we ate it, and I think it turned out pretty well. It wanted hot peppers, or at least hot sauce, but there was none. That’s no-planning cuisine for you!

My second dish, which was planned (as in, I stopped at the store on the way and saw something I thought might be fun), was broiled sweet anise. I washed four anises, and cut them roughly into about three bits each. They were then drizzled with olive oil and kosher salt, and broiled for about 25 minutes. Yum!

Then was dessert: Berger cake, which involves chocolate frosting and therefore would be good regardless, but also had cakey goodness; and ZAF’s South-Beach cheesecake, which was, despite its lack of crust and Splenda-bite, quite nice.
Other people should share their recipes, because I don’t know them.

Free Scoop

Being a semi-journalist-wannabe type, I can't resist a scoop. Especially when it's free. For today only, Yahoo! is kindly fronting you a free scoop of ice cream at your local Baskin Robbins. Log in, print out your coupon and the only decision you have to make is what flavor you want. My favorite? Pralines and Cream. (Special thanks to my coworker, Y, who is always has the best email forwards!)

More things to do with phallic vegetables

The other day I found myself in possession of a huge (32 OZ) carton of truly excellent plain yogurt (Stonybrook Farms Organic) and no interest in using it for breakfast. What to do with it?

Then I remembered that I was planning to make something hot and spicy for dinner and what could be better than a traditional cool and soothing Indian cucumber raita to go along as a side dish!

Serve this with your next Chicken tandoori. I used Patak's Original Spicy Ginger & Garlic Marinade and Grill Sauce which is fairly widely available in supermarkets to make the chicken, and the recipe on the side of the jar happily enough uses more yogurt for the marinade. I added some extra fresh garlic, ginger and onion to the marinade and let it sit about 2 hours.

Cucumber Raita

about 5- 6" of English, seedless cucumber - that's the long, ribbed one usually sold plastic wrapped
1 1/2 - 2 cups plain yogurt-preferably Stonybrook lowfat. Dannon's plain fat free is sold everywhere but is pretty thin and unsatisfying.
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cumin seed
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1/8 tsp fresh ground black pepper - or more to taste

Peel and grate the cucumber with the large holes on the grater. Don't drain any liquid that accumulates.Mix everything together with the cucumber quite well. Add more yogurt if you prefer it more traditional and soupy - I like it thicker. If I had had a tablespoon or two of fresh mint that would have been lovely to add too, but alas I didn't.

-MHF, Guest Blogger

Better Eats

You knew someone was going to do it- Here it is, the Alton Brown 'Good Eats' Drinking Game.

Favorites:

Talke one drink if

• Alton appears in a location outside of Georgia.

• Alton says, "I'm not a nutritional anthropologist" or something close to that.

  Take two drinks if:

• You can see the David dress-up magnet on the refrigerator.

• Alton mentions he likes to grind herbs/spices in a coffee grinder.

• Alton appears as Roman (solder/emperor/whatever).

South Beach day 14

Today's Haiku:
Slim thighs are not worth
This scary toxic powder
No creamer for me

Yestarday's Menu:
A cheeseburger sans bun, half a green pepper, a slice of my awesome no-sugar cheesecake, A chipotle burrito bol, stuffed mushrooms, and a small salad.

I feel
Well, its my last day on South Beach. Results: mixed. Weight loss was rapid at first but I haven't budged in a week despite pretty strict adherence. O' course, men loose weight faster than chicks, but even so it’s a little discouraging.

On the plus side South Beach completely eliminates any hunger pangs and sugar highs and lows. But Is it worth sacrificing rice crispies over? The jury is still out.

Recipe of the day: Stuffed Mushrooms

• Boil 300g frozen spinach until cooked.
  
• Wash 8 large mushrooms, removing and saving the stems.
  
• Chop and saute stems in a pan of olive oil for a few minutes, then remove and sauté mushroom caps.
  
• Mix drained spinach with chopped stems, salt, and Vegeta, and stuff into mushroom caps.

Starting With Sofríto

Interested in giving your food a little more international flair? You have to start somewhere, and sometimes the beginning’s the easiest place. The French sometimes build their recipes around mirepoix, a mixture of diced carrots, celery and onion sautéed in butter and often the base of stews, soups and other dishes. Meanwhile, Asian cuisine often takes off when the chef stirfries aromatics (which usually include ginger, garlic, red pepper flakes and scallions) in sesame oil before adding vegetables and meat to the mix.

Some Spanish and Puerto Rican dishes are based around sofríto, a mixture of vegetables and herbs blended together and added to stews, soups and meat entrées. Sofrito (sometimes spelled soffríto, and also a term in Italian cooking that usually refers to a mirepoix-like mixture of celery, green peppers, carrots and herbs) is a pretty malleable recipe, with different generations passing down their own versions to their children. Derived from the Spanish word "sofreir," meaning "to fry lightly," before sofríto is cooked, it’s often referred to as recaíto.

Recipes I’ve seen include everything from culantro (kind of a stronger-tasting cilantro and sometimes referred to as long coriander—but good luck finding it at Trader Joe’s) to pimentos to sweet peppers. To make red sofríto , tomato is added. Some versions of sofríto call for annatto seeds sautéed in pork fat, or smoked ham sautéed in achiote oil. Yikes.

For now, let’s stick to the basics. Here’s what you’ll need to make a simple sofríto (or recaíto, if you don’t end up adding it to a cooked dish).

A little over a cup chopped cilantro (must be fresh, as DCFüd readers have advised)
½ cup onion, or approximately that much, chopped
½ cup green pepper, chopped
As much garlic as you prefer; I’d say around 4 cloves
Salt, pepper, hot sauce and cumin, to taste
Some water (no more than a quarter cup), for mixing purposes

Once you’ve got your ingredients, all you need to do is throw them in a blender or food processor, and puree them. Add to stews, soups, chicken, etc.

Too much work? Some local grocery stores sell pre-bottled sofríto. Doing a survey of some Silver Spring and Rockville-accessible locations (non-Suburbanites, you’re on your own), I found both recaíto and a red sofríto ($1.75) in the Goya section of Giant Eagle in Rockville on 355 and the Safeway on Fenton Street in downtown Silver Spring.