Reluctant Health, day 2

Today's Haiku:
CVS tempts me:
Come for the hair dye isle
leave with a Snickers

Today's Lunch Spot:
Skewers for low-fat kababs and things. 1633 P St NW

Today's recipe: Grape Chicken! Low cal, low fat, low carb. just pretty much low everything.

3 Boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into peices
1/2 tsp Nutmeg
1 Tbs Olive oil
1 Tbs Grape jam
1 tsp Tarragon
4 Green onions, chopped
3/4 cup white wine
1 cup Seedless green grapes
1/4 cup Millk

Sprinkle chicken with salt, pepper, and nutmeg and brown chicken breasts on each side.
Add jam, tarragon, green onions, and wine. Cover, reduce heat to simmer, and cook 15 minutes. Add grapes and cook 5 minutes. Remove the chicken and grapes. Add the milk to the pan, turn heat up and let it simmer until it thickens. Spoon over chicken and grapes to serve.

"I don't drink...wine" - A Rant by the Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic

That line was spoken by Bela Lugosi in Dracula and became a catch phrase in most of the Dracula films that followed. It's a complex line for four little words. We, the hip audience, know what Dracula drinks, but the poor unsuspecting victims had to wonder what kind of person doesn't drink wine. My mother is one of those people - not the blood-sucking undead vampire, but the non-wine drinking type. She doesn't really drink anything alcoholic other than a random margarita or a Baileys-and-coffee. She's not a prude, but, well, she's definitely not her son. My blood type has a 2001 vintage. My doctor doesn't have a phlebotomist and needles for me, but a sommelier and a corkscrew.

On Mother's Day, we went to Al Tiramisu for an early dinner. The food was fine and the desserts were excellent, but the servers were stunned - aghast, actually - that we didn't order wine, to the point that they asked us at least six times. The first time they asked, Mom politely declined. They asked again...and again...and again, and you get the point. We were only there for two hours! There was a distinct attitude that we were somehow a lower-tipping table because we declined to look at their wine list.

Now, I'm only singling out Al Tiramisu because this was recent. Every other time there I've imbibed and had a blast. They're certainly not the only place attempting to shove wine down our collective throat. It makes sense for places to sell wine. A bottle of wine pads the check, it's seldom returned, and most folks tip properly on the higher total. Given the mark-up - usually 100 to 400 percent - the restaurant owners and servers love selling wine!

Sure, wine can make a good meal great, and it's an obvious, vital part of Italian cuisine. But when the offer is declined, please, dear restaurants, accept it, and move on. It's like a break-up - sure, you can mope a bit about the lost opportunity, but let it go. Put an ad on Match. Be mature about it. Nobody likes a stalker.

The city will nail drivers on DUI even if they're not legally drunk. Tourists visit here from temperate Salt Lake as much as wine-soaked Sonoma. Some people simply don't like to drink, or don't want to offend a dining partner who doesn't drink. People have their reasons; please respect them. A desperate sales approach in a restaurant isn't dining, but is akin to walking past those obnoxious mall kiosks, begging shoppers to try their hand creams, cell phones and jiggly colored pens.

Reluctant health, Day 1

As traditionally happens once a year, zaf has realised that summer's arrived and she no longer fits into her Awesome Yellow Wrap Skirt. This sucks! There's only one thing to do- our Annual 2-week Diet Roundup. That's right, two weeks of healthy food, healthy restaurants, and bitchy haikus (you'd be would too if you'd been eating this stuff for two weeks)

So, to belly flop right in.

Today's Haiku:
My iced tea's not sweet
Splenda can make it better
And more cancerous!

Today's lunch place:
Marvelous Market for their "No Guilt Turkey Sandwich"- turkey, no fat coleslaw, on some kinda bread.

Today's recipe: Green Gazpacho Soup

1/2 large green bell pepper
3 cups romaine lettuce
1 large cucumber, peeled
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
2 cups chicken broth
3 green onions,
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 large clove garlic
2 tbsp. red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp. sea salt to taste
light sour cream

Place ingredients in a food processor and puree. Chill, and serve with a dollop of sour cream.

The Stair of Doom!

I had brunch with a friend at The Boulevard Woodgrill in Clarendon last weekend. It was my first time at the restaurant. The hostesses were pleasant –and cute- and the service was good.

My friend and I both ordered the skirt steak and eggs. The steak was cooked to the correct level of doneness, and that is a rarity nowadays. The over easy eggs were also properly cooked, and the potatoes had flavorful spicing.

The problem is that there is a step that is situated in between the hostess' station and the restaurant seating. It was impossible to enjoy my meal because of the sense of impending doom that the step emanates. It is an accident waiting to happen, as sooner or later someone is going to trip and get hurt.

The hostess said that a lawsuit is in progress, but the management does not want to turn the step into a ramp because they feel that people would still trip.

They do warn every person to watch their step as they walk them to their table, but people leaving their tables don't get the warning. The step has faded letters stating “caution” and “watch your step”, but we still saw an older gentleman stumble. And, one person at a particular table -which happened to be me- gets to sit right over that step, hoping nobody trips, but witnessing when it actually happens.

After watching one man trip, hearing the hostesses warn customers as they seated them, and watching various parents lunge for their small children as they reach the step, I don’t think I will be returning to the restaurant. Well, they do have outdoor seating…

The Boulevard Woodgrill
2901 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, Virginia 22201
(703) 875-9663

What to Eat if You Want to Live Like a Beer Commercial

Well, it must be springtime, because I finally got out to Kaufmann's Tavern in Gambrills, Maryland for the annual rite of bashing crabs with mallets and washing them down with gallons of beer. This place is sheer crabby magic, I swear. A half-hour drive out 50-E from downtown, it would be worth the trip even if one had to walk. (That being said, feminine wiles and/or a nice boy who will drive you there are advantageous.)

Go with a huge crowd of people if at all possible, and reserve the sunroom. It's quiet enough to hear your companions even over the noise of mallets hitting crustaceans--I know if I had to lip-read in a loud and crowded joint....well, I wouldn't, because I'd be busy bashing crabs. The waitresses might hate you a little for coming in with twenty people (that's part of the charm of this place), but be nice and they'll be calling you "Darlin'" before too long.

Hope it storms while you're there, because it's beautiful when it does that. (Alternatively, sit in one of the main dining areas on a night when local stand up comedians are performing. I can personally vouch for Adam Ruben, who appeared on the Kauffman's stage recently.) Order several pitchers of beer, and the mussels and the rich cheesy crab dip and the enormous spicy peel-and-eat shrimp to snack on while you wait for your bushels of crabs to come out.

I would describe the crabs, but I'd feel terrible if you drooled all over your keyboard and shorted it out.

Couscous Café

I have eaten at the Algerian restaurant Couscous Café at 20th and M many times, and by now am friendly with the family that owns it. Today, I had the Sephardic meatballs, which is a common special. The meatballs are made with ground lamb, onion, and parsley and are finished with lemon juice and fresh chopped parsley, and served over rice. They have a soft yet chewy texture and a nice flavor. I am told that this dish usually comes with peas, but today it did not.

Other dishes that I have enjoyed at the restaurant include their b’stilla, and couscous a la royal. B’stilla is chicken, almonds, and peanuts in phyllo dough. The couscous a la royal consists of chicken, merguez (spicy lamb sausage), lamb, chickpeas, summer and winter squash, carrots, potatoes, and turnips on a bed of couscous with a flavorful tomato sauce. They also serve vegetarian, lamb, and chicken versions of the couscous entrée.

Couscous Café also has an appetizing case filled mostly with vegetarian side dishes like hummus, ratatouille, baba ghanouj, lentil salad, beet salad, carrot salad, and carrot with garlic and spice. I often take some of these side dishes home when I am cooking an entrée and want easy –because I didn’t make them- vegetable side dishes.

One of my favorite side dishes is called torche in Algeria and mama houria in Tunisia. It consists of pureed carrots with cumin, coriander, garlic, and harissa, which is a hot sauce made with hot peppers and garlic. The torche is served cold and eaten with pita bread. If you ask for hot sauce at the restaurant, they hand you a squeeze bottle containing harissa.

The restaurant always has Middle Eastern music playing, and today was no exception, with the sounds of Electric Oasis’s CD, Exotic Arabian Grooves. Couscous Café has free wireless access, so it's a nice place to use your laptop while listening to interesting music, and drinking hot or cold mint teas.

I mainly recommend the place as a lunch spot, since later in the day they tend to run out of dishes like b’stilla and falafel.

Couscous Cafe
1195 20th Street NW
Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 689-1233
8am-8pm, Monday-Friday

This guest blog is by Jason over at http://jasonsfood.blogspot.com/

Suburban goodness

Local produce! Fresh humus! Specialty meat! Crazy nuts! I don't mean Whole Foods, or even Superfresh, I'm talking about Grosvenor Market. No, stop, I'm actually serous. I know it's in the basement of an apartment complex. I know it sounds like a glorified convenience store, and I know it's way out in suburbia, but this place rocks!

Where else are you going to get all-natural dry aged beef on a moment's notice? Or Apples from a local orchard? Or those great honey-sesame candy things you're addicted to? The front of this tiny hole-in-the-wall is decorated with the various prizes they've won for organic food, happy service, etc. etc. etc. And they also have a Notary Public - I mean, what else can you possibly ask for?

To get there, exit the Grosvenor metro and take a right down the escalator, follow the path that goes to the right of the little landscaped stream through the big scary suburban apt buildings. Past the kiddie pool. Stop laughing! This place rocks, I mean it!

Yerba Mate

The last mate post was in January 2005, so I am going to renew the buzz...

I absolutely LOVE yerba mate. I've been drinking it for about 3 or 4 years now, and I still just love the taste. According to Wikipedia, Yerba mate is: "A highly caffeinated herbal tea called mate prepared by steeping the dried leaves in hot water. Drinking mate with friends from a shared hollow gourd (also called a mate) with a metal straw (a bombilla) is an extremely common social practice in Paraguay and Argentina."

I started by buying a bag of Guayaki (tea bags) from Whole Foods in Chicago out of curiosity (I am addicted to buying different teas), and have since purchased my own gourd and bombilla straw, along with loose mate leaves from Teavana at Tyson's Corner mall. I love being able to relax at home, drinking mate. It's so great. I am considering planning our next vacation to Argentina just so I can sit around with some locals in a village and drink some traditional mate.

I enjoy drinking mate over coffee anyday, because I feel more energy without feeling jittery or nervous (like I'm having a panic attack) when I OD on coffee. It's better than tea to me, because it's a better stimulant. Plus, it's rumored to be an appetite suppressant as well, but I haven't noticed too much of that lately. I did notice it more, when I drank it on a more consistent basis.

Today, I received my shipment of 2lbs loose leaf mate from Nativa. I recommend this company, my order came quickly, and the products (mate and herbs) are delicious!

Another great site to order from is EcoTeas, and Aviva. Also, for more local suggestions, check out the January 2005 archive.

Enjoy!

Coming Up: An Evening With Bobby Flay and Rachael Ray

An Evening with Bobby Flay and Rachael Ray: Food, Culture and Fulfillment: Living a Richer Life

"Celebrity chefs Bobby Flay and Rachael Ray are nationally known for their multiple television shows on the Food Network....Join us for a special evening with two great chefs as they explore the role of the creative process in their work and delve into how food and wine have brought people together for centuries, connecting diverse cultures and enhancing the richness of life." Tickets start at $50 and go on sale May 28. Call 202-326-9530 or email speaker@asaecenter.org.

They were kind enough to send us free tickets to attend this event, so I'll be sure to let you all know how faaaaaabulous it was if you can't make it!

Tuesday Curry

Happy Tuesday! I think Tuesdays are the longest, more boring day there is in the week. I'm willing to debate anyone about this subject too, Tuesdays take forever.

In order to make this Tuesday a little more interesting to me, I thought I would write my first post on DCFUD, and start it off with a SMASHING good recipe for Curry Cashew Chicken Salad.

I love this recipe, and I've changed a few steps from the original (don't ask where that is!) but it's definately better this way. The original writer didn't know what they were talking about.

Curry Cashew Chicken Salad (In 10 Simple Steps)
To make a decent size batch, you will need....

1.) 2 cans of canned chicken (Usually found next to the canned tuna, you can use real chicken, but then you have to cook it, and that takes too long for me. I don't like to be patient.)

2.) Red Grapes

3.) Cashews (usually just two scoops from the nut bin at the store will be fine)

4.) 1 or 2 cans of water chestnuts

5.) Celery (However much you want. I used a small bag from the salad section to dice up)

6.) Oranges or a Small thing of Orange Juice (I squeeze fresh juice, but it doesn't matter. I'm perfect, like Martha. Wait, Martha wouldn't use canned chicken though I bet....Hm....)

7.) Curry Powder (yellow)

8.) Ranch Dressing (I suppose you can use Mayo, but Ranch gives it a good taste).

NOW,
1.) Chop the cashews.
2.) Chop the water chestnuts (drained).
3.) Chop the celery.
4.) Mix into a big bowl.
5.) Add a splash of orange juice
6.) Drain the chicken and add the two cans.
7.) Mix all of that goodness.
8.) Slice the grapes in half each (looks nicer, easier to eat).
9.) Add some ranch dressing to coat (want the chicken to still be flaky, no clumps, and not a thick dressing).
10.) Add the curry (I like to add a lot).

Keep tasting, and adding whatever you want. Ranch, curry, orange juice.

Enjoy!
If you don't like it, you're crazy! :)

Brownies without a pan

Last weekend I was asked to bring dessert to a party and I had neither the time, money nor inclination to make much of an effort.

So I dredged out of my memory an old ruse I had used before and was amazed at how good they were. Brownie cookies. Cookies out of a doctored box of brownie mix.

They are really cheap - a box of mix makes a ton of cookies - or at least several dozen and costs about $2, plus the trivial cost of the rest of the ingredients. Best of all they make a grown-up kind of cookie. Mildly chocolaty, moist, crisp at the edges yet chewy in the middle, not overly sweet, and rather versatile, (more about that later). Don't use the recipe on the box. Here's the technique:

Brownie Cookies
1 large box fudge brownie mix. Brand doesn't matter but should run about 19-21 oz
2 large eggs lightly beaten
1/4 cup oil (not olive - I used canola)
3 TB water - may need a drop more or not
1/4 cup flour (essential)

• Preheat oven to 350

• Dump everything together in a large bowl. Mix until smooth. If it has some dry mix still, add a tiny drop more water. Dough will be like a thickish, stretchy batter - not clumpy like regular cookie double. That's fine

• Line flat cookie sheet with baking (parchment) paper. You can get this at any grocery store where they have foil and plastic wrap, or sometimes in the baking or even the gadgets aisle.

• With a teaspoon drop a 1/2 dollar sized dollop of mix. It will spread after a minute into a nice circle. These cookies REALLY spread in the oven so give them room.

• Bake about 10 minutes until edges are very slightly browner than the rest of the cookie. That may not happen but 10 or 11 minutes seems about right.

• When they come out of the over let them sit a moment on the cookie sheet to firm as they will be delicate, and then carefully remove to a wire rack to cool completely.
  

-This is a guest blog by longtime fudder MHF. Thanks mom!

Sensational Splenda

Fud's obsession with Splenda is a beautiful thing, especially on dry news days when we can't be bothered to, you know, write anything real.

But if you thought we were ridiculous, check out Dr. Janet Starr Hull's book: Splenda®: Is It Safe Or Not?.

Now, no one gives something a title like that if the answer is "why yes, yes it is, completely harmless. Sorry to cause the fuss". But this book doesn't stop there, it promises to save your children from toxins, and identify the cause of 'vague health symptoms that puzzle your doctor'. I deeply suspect it will also walk your dog, reconcile you with your ex, and make your teenage son love you again.

It's only deep into the website that the true oddness pops up- Hull is a Saccarine fan! Yes, despite the 'misleading report 20 years ago' that it causes cancer, Saccarine and not Splenda is the answer to all your problems. In case you didn't get the picture, she advocates you to use the packet's color coding: Yellow(Splenda) means caution, whereas the happy pink of Sween n' Low means sweet safety!

Yet, this is only the second book that our good doctor has published. Her first one is "Sweetpoison", a book on the dangers of Aspartame (NutraSweet). its description is surprisingly similar.

I can't help feeling like maybe Dr. Hull, who lists her qualifications as ".. Licensed Certified Nutritionist, certified fitness professional, author and aspartame victim", should maybe be taken with a grain of salt.

Angelina's - Reviewed by the Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic

All this Mary Prankster talk inspired me to grab some friends and run up to the Land Of Pleasant Living and eat a genuine Maryland-style crabcake. Much like the beloved-yet-retired Mlle. Prankster, we ignored the Blue Skies Over Dundalk last night and headed straight to Angelina's in the Hamilton neighborhood. Angelina's has been on the short list of top crabcake joints in the region for years. The place has won Best Crabcake Awards from many of the Baltimore-area critics, and in Charm City, that's more important than a lobbyist's Blackberry.

Long-time owner Robert Bufano sold the restaurant in 2005, and the new owners swore that they would maintain Angelina's high standards. They definitely maintained Angelina's high prices. Crabcakes are seldom cheap, usually about $14 for a sandwich and $25 or so for a two-8oz cake platter. That's the going rate for the crabcakes found at G&M, Gunning's, Olive Grove and Timbuktu near BWI Airport, the current gold standards for Baltimore crabcakes. Angelina's charges "market price" of $22 for the sandwich, $30 for a two 5 oz. cake platter, and $40 for two 8 oz. cake platters.

That's a damned expensive market. Like, that market makes Wegman's, Balducci's and the Gucci Giant in Potomac look like a bargain. But in the search of le crabcake parfait, no price is too high.

I was more wrong than Jessica Simpson at a spelling bee. The $29 Steak and Cake Combo seemed the best deal - an 8oz filet, a 5oz crabcake, and a couple of side items. For that kind of money, I was expecting a transcendent marriage of delicate crab, Old Bay and non-intrusive, yet unique filler. What I got was a dried-out piece of fishnet that happened to have some crab and boiled carrots in it. It had all the taste and consistency of a musty dish sponge. The filet, while cooked to the proper requested temperature of medium-rare, was barely above room temperature and had no discernible taste. The side items of wild rice and green beans were lousy, at best, and tasted like they just emerged from a can or boil-in-bag. The only saving grace of the meals was the above-average Maryland Crab Soup, but $4 soup ain't savin' no $29 meal in Balmer, hon.

All of us who schlepped up to Baltimore from the District had the same complaints. The service, while friendly enough, was slower than a little kid trying to tell a long story. It took over an hour to get our entrees, and 30 minutes to get soup. We were the only diners in the restaurant, save for two lone women in search of a late snack. I wish I could say it was just a bad night at the restaurant, but the empty dining room, lousy food and an outdated website hawking their mail-order crabcake business more than the restaurant itself, indicates that Angelina's best days are behind them.

10 Whammies! out of 355. 3 Whammies! were awarded to the 3 cups of good Maryland Crab Soup, and 7 Whammies! were awarded to my courageous friends who survived this crap. The 355 potential Whammies! represent our bill, not including gas, tolls and the overall general feeling we shoulda gone to the Old Ebbitt Grill.

All I Want's a Boy To Make Me Some Mac and Cheese

And Mary Prankster isn't the only one. M writes to us asking:

Hi,

Any recommendations on a place to get great mac and cheese here in D.C.?

Thanks!

Some people really like the Mac and Cheese at Logan Tavern at Logan Circle, Rocklands has it as a side, and I'd be surprised if The Diner in Adams Morgan didn't, too.

But you don't have to take my word, the experts at Chowhound suggest:

• Florida Avenue Grill
• Henry's
• Lobby cafeteria/cafe at the NEA HQ at 16th & M

Other options include B. Smiths at Union Station, who will give it to you as a main if you ask nicely. The Soul Vegetation Restaurant has a non-dairy version. If you're willing to trek out to Baltimore, SoBo Cafe has it as an appetizer or a main.

Kraft not cutting it? Zola's does it with Lobster, and Equinox at Farragut Square cooks it up with with black truffles.

The Cupcake Phenomenon

Cupcakes have become a national pastime, thanks in part to the now famous Magnolia Bakery. But where, oh where, can you find a good cupcake in DC? Have no fear -- the cupcake craze is already well underway in D.C.

Todd Kliman takes on the subject in his weekly chat over at Washingtonian and resurrects an old battle topic, Cakelove. Kliman's feelings are that true cupcake seekers should "Forget Cakelove -- they're crumbly and dry, with a too-thick layer of buttercream frosting." Instead, he sends them in the direction of Georgetown's Baked and Wired. We haven't yet made it there, but the articles and pictures make it look delicious.

DCist, in fact, gave Baked and Wired just an honorable mention, awarding top prize to Falls Church-based Le Cupcake and second place to Reeves Bakery on G Street.

We've yet to reach our own conclusion and, as such, we turn it over to you, loyal readers. Who really does have the best cupcakes in D.C.?

Like Boston, but better tasting

I don't miss Boston- it's cold and wet and the pizza is too expensive. And everyone looks like Abercrombie went shopping at Hot Topic with mom's credit card. But it is a very pretty city. What does this have to do with DC? Well, just half an hour from our outskirts is an area that looks suspiciously like Boston, minus the Urban Outfitters. I am, of course, talking about historic Frederick, MD, where I recently had some of the best Pasta of my Life.

This is a pretty pretty town- civil war houses, lots of restaurants, quaint storefronts; my god, why haven't I spent every weekend since I moved to DC in Frederick? And best of all, it's home to Venuti's Restaurant. Like Frederick, the inside is just so damn pretty. Wooden floors, nice looking bar, big plate window overlooking (admittedly) nothing much.

The service here was snail-slow, at least half an hour to order the an Australian Shiraz, and another half an hour to place an order, even though we were practically the only people there. The Shiraz was boring, but the wait for the food was worth it- I had penne with a crazy alcoholic red sauce. I'm telling you, this was a Zen tomato experience. These tomatoes were like eating distilled, red, squishy happiness. My dining partners were less thrilled with their pasta with sweet sausage.

Anyway, I highly suggest this place if you have a lot of time on your hands/a chick to impress. I mean, really, any excuse to get to Frederick.

It's Strawberry Shortcake Time...

...and I am not talking about that silly doll from the 80's either. I was down in Southeastern Virginia last weekend and stumbled across an amazing farm with HUGE produce selection. They had fresh strawberries picked right off their farm, and I felt compelled to pick up a quart without an idea of what to do with them.

I got home, stared at the berries for a bit, and realized that it was time to crank out my moms favorite Strawberry Shortcake recipe - it's easy, fresh and takes only 10 minutes to put together:

Enjoy:

The What:
2 cups flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons sugar
¾ cup milk
¼ cup butter

The How:

• Mix dry ingredients, sift twice, work in butter with tips of fingers, and add milk gradually.
  
• Toss on floured board, divide in two parts.
  
• Pat, roll out, and bake twelve minutes in a hot oven in buttered Washington pie or round layer cake tins.
  
• Split, and spread with butter.
  
• Sweeten strawberries to taste, place on back of range until warmed, crush slightly, and put between and on top of Short Cakes
  

What to Cook for People Who Know What They're Doing

One of the smartest things I ever did was convince six of my closest friends, all of whom know much more about food and wine than I do, into coming over to make dinner one night about a year ago. Rather than preparing dishes in advance, everyone brought their own ingredients and we all cooked together. (This was mostly a selfish move on my part--I wanted to learn how to make these dishes, not just eat them, but it turns out that cooking together is so much more fun anyway. Plus, you have help when you need it, and freshly prepared food when you sit down to eat.)

Anyway, that's my Supper Club. I'll be talking about it a lot. There are ten of us now, and usually three of us bring wine and champagne, while the rest of us take care of the food. Our most recent theme was Spanish foods, which are especially lovely when eaten on the patio on a warm April night. Some sample recipes:

Wendy's Patatas Bravas (Fierce Potatoes)

2 lbs potatoes
Half a large onion, diced
1 clove garlic, diced
olive oil
2 or 3 tablespoons paprika
3 fresh tomatoes, chopped
1 red or green chile, diced
Spanish thyme

Boil whole potatoes for 15 minutes. Drain and cool. Dice into 1"-1.5" pieces. Fry, or "oven fry" until crispy, or until you're sick of waiting for the potatoes.

In a saucepan over medium high heat, saute onion and one clove of garlic in a smidgeon of olive oil. When they're translucent and sticky, add paprika and stir and cook for a minute or so, until it starts looking like paste. Red paste. Mmmm. Add tomatoes and chile and Spanish thyme, and cook until the tomatoes have broken down (if you have a stick blender with you, this takes less time). Taste. Add more paprika if you have it and want to. Hold over low heat until ready to serve.

Either toss to combine potatoes and sauce, or pour sauce over individual portions of potatoes. Great served with a garlicky aioli to take away some of the heat.

Karen's Chorizo with Figs

1 lb chorizo
Half a large onion
2 cloves garlic
Splash olive oil
1/2 c red wine
1/2 c red wine vinegar
1/2 c sugar
cinnamon
cloves
1 cup dried figs

Chop up chorizo into 1-inch sections, slice onion lengthwise, and chop up garlic. Heat up olive oil in a saucepan, add the chorizo, onions, and garlic, and sautee it until the garlic is golden brown. Add red wine, red wine vinegar, sugar, three shakes of cinnamon, and a pinch of cloves. Stir it up all, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for thirty minutes. While it's simmering, roast figs in the oven (I brushed them with olive oil and put them in at 400 degrees, then drank cava until Wendy finally told me take them out already. Maybe five minutes?), and right before serving, stir the figs into the chorizo. This is smoky and spicy and sweet.

Kristen's Sangria

3 bottles Spanish red wine (the wine guy at Whole Foods on P St has some great recommendations)
2 cups lemon-lime seltzer
juice of two oranges
juice of one lemon
juice of one lime
1/2 cup triple sec
two apples, cut up into small bites
one lemon, same
one lime, same
one orange, same

Combine everything, add sugar to taste, stir, and let sit in the fridge for hours. Add one basket of strawberries, cut up into small bites, just before serving, so they don't get too mushy. Add some cava if you want to lighten it up.

This is a guest entry from Karen over at jitterbugparfum.livejournal.com. Thanks, Karen!

Flying Food

Unless you travel a lot, or you're somehow drawn to airport magazines, we'd imagine you missed this month's Washington Flyer Magazine. Heck, we would have if we hadn't been stuck in the middle of a Washigton Flyer Taxi strike at Dulles.

But, our region's favorite airport magazine (actually, I've never seen another airport system with a magazine, so it's probably the only airport magazine...) did a series of food articles which are worth checking out. Among them:

Look Who's Coming to Dinner - If you were a famous DC chef and could cook for anyone, who would it be? Chef's answerws include Dave Chappelle, George Lopez (right), Duke Ellington, Thomas Jefferson and, umm, Laura Bush.

Mexican to Go - A search for authentic Mexican fare in Mexico City turns out to be harder than the writer thought.

Foodie Fight - Our personal favorite, in that it features the excellent Jason of DCFoodies.com up against two more traditional food writers, reviewing their favorite restaurants .. and then reviewing the other reviewers. It's a quirky concept, but worth a read. Congrats to Jason on his every growing fame!

And, most importantly, you don't even have to make the horrible trip to Dulles to read the articles.

Come for the brownies, stay for the show.

Many people spend their whole life searching for perfection; the perfect outfit, the perfect diet, the perfect job. I am proud to say that, while I have yet to find perfection in any of the above, I have located the perfect brownie. It is a thick and rich brownie, with a moist, fudgy, faintly chewy interior. There are walnuts too! The top is a thin layer of chocolate, with mini marshmallows and caramel swirls.

However, this brownie is difficult to procure. It can only be purchased during four periods a year, with each period composed of 4 days. In addition, it is a costly brownie, ranging from $26 for students up to $135. There is also a dress code to buy the brownie; black tie is not required, however a certain amount of formality is defiantly de rigueur.

At this point you may be wondering if the brownies are gold-plated, or made by Julia Child (the latter would be particularly interesting as she is dead). However the truth is less exciting. You see, with every brownie purchased, one gets to see a free performance of the Baltimore Opera Company. Or, to put it another way, you can only buy the brownies at the dessert pavilion at the Baltimore Opera company during the intermission of one of the performances. Attempts to convince to the BO staff to let the author simply run in and purchase a brownie have been unsuccessful thus far. Attempts to discover the source of the brownies has met equal results. Thus, this brave author every couple of months puts on her high heels and pearls, purchases a ticket, and travels to the opera house to buys her brownie. And usually stays for the show.

The Legend of Ghost Bento

Part One: From the Scrolls of Haru-chan.

The town had one restaurant, Kuroshin-tei, run by a kindly family called Shiotsuki. One day I went there for lunch with my boyfriend, Akihiro, and his younger brother Kazu. I guess it must have been a holiday because the restaurant was closed. We thought of getting bento at the grocery store but it was closed, too. At a loss for what to do, Kazu suggested going to the diner on the outskirts of town. I'd never been there and Akihiro seemed doubtful that the place was still in operation, but we drove over there anyway, and sure enough, there was a light on inside and we could hear old popular standards playing out of the kitchen.

We went in and the old woman who ran the place damn near died of shock. I don't think she'd had any customers in years, but she told us to sit down and she gave us some tea – probably from her own pot, because it certainly didn't seem like she was expecting anyone for lunch. She left us to look over the menu, as the guys shot each other strange looks. The room was large and could've seated at least 50. I wondered if it had been popular at some point in the past, but it was hard to imagine very many people coming through the town, which to my knowledge had never had anything that could've been called a 'heyday'. The only decorations in the place were a couple of beer advertisements that looked to be at least twenty years old.

When the woman came to take our order, I asked for katsudon, but they were out. They were out of almost everything. Kazu finally asked, "Well, what can you make?"

"Croquettes" - not what I was in the mood for, but we were pretty hungry, so we went ahead and ordered. The restaurant was silent except for the music and the sound of the woman shuffling around in the kitchen.

Akkun said to Kazu, "Are you sure the food is gonna be okay? I mean, mom would be pretty upset if we both got wiped out."

Kazu laughed but seemed pretty confident. "If that lady was sitting in the kitchen all morning, they must have customers once in a while... I mean, if no one ever came, why would she waste her time sitting around?"

"Maybe she doesn't get radio reception at her house." We really were deep in the mountains. "Besides, the only people who come here are out-of-towners who don't know any better."

"Hey," I said. "Watch it." I was from out of town and I certainly knew better. The only reason I was there in the first place is that I was stupid enough to trust the two of them.

The food came out and it was good – not great, but passable. Kazuhisa dug right in but Akkun kind of sniffed at his before eating it. Under any other circumstances, this would've been a huge insult to the chef, but the old woman could hardly be called a chef, and as it was, she had already shuffled back to the kitchen. I hoped she couldn't hear us over the radio.

"Hey, stop it. You're being rude," said Kazuhisa.

Akkun was still sniffing at his pork cutlet. "What? I just don't wanna DIE, that's all." I was happily tucking away the croquettes, which were still cold in the middle, and cabbage salad smothered in what appeared to be plain mayonnaise.

Kazuhisa was almost finished with his bowl of noodles. He leaned over to Akkun and said, "Are you gonna eat that?" Akkun shook his head.

"Boy, you're finnicky. No wonder you're so skinny."

"I'd be skinnier if I got poisoned." Kazuhisa rolled his eyes and polished off the cutlet. The old lady came out to refill our tea cups. After she went back to the kitchen, Akkun wondered aloud when she might have last changed the leaves.

"Shh," said Kazuhisa, "she'll hear you."

"She won't hear me. I don't think she can hear. She's a ghost," said Akkun, who, in addition to being a picky eater, was weirdly superstitious and scared of anywhere that people said was haunted. In the mountains, practically everywhere is haunted. Kazuhisa rolled his eyes again.

"Come on, let's go." He grabbed the check and we got up from the small table.

"Yeah," Akkun said under his breath, "let's get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps."

"Sissy," said Kazuhisa; and to the old woman, "Thanks! It was great!"

She muttered something incomprehensible. I was pretty familiar with the local dialect but could not make out what she said, and I don't think Kazuhisa or Akkun could either. We hightailed it out to the car. Closing the doors and buckling our seatbelts, we looked at each other but were afraid to talk. It was as if the weird whatever it was that hung in the air at the restaurant had followed us outside and into the car. Kazuhisa started the engine. Pulling away from the place, Akkun said, "Okay, we're never going there again."

"Why not?" Kazuhisa asked. He was kind of oblivious, a strange counterpoint to Akkun's neuroses.

"Ghost bento. Never again." That was all Akkun would say on the subject. He was paler then usual and his hand was cold in mine.

Kazu chuckled. "Ghost bento. Classic." He turned to us and said, "Hey, did you guys hear the microwave beep? I think she was defrosting your croquettes!" Even Akkun had to laugh. I wondered how long those croquettes had been in the freezer and felt slightly sick.

maw is currently acting as our roving blogger in Japan. Gosh darn you, maw.-zaf

How can it be Urban Thai if it's in the suburbs?

That question dogged my mind the first time I saw this restaurant while driving through inappropriately named suburb of Crystal City last year. It's located on 23rd Street on the Restaurant Row, surrounded by bar and grills, diners and restaurants dedicated to other foreign cusines. Urban Thai has carved out a niche providing delicious, affordable food in a surprisingly attractive dining space. Usually, when one thinks of Asian food in the `burbs, the first thoughts are of Fortune, the dim sum palace at Seven Corners, or one of the fine Vietnamese places like Pho 75 in Falls Church or the previously-reviewed Eden Center. Urban Thai isn't as big as those places, but might be as good.

Last Saturday night, I took a couple of friends to the UT for dinner, and we started off with Thai version of crack, Lemongrass-Ginger Iced Tea. It's a sweet tea, infused with those two flavors, and as refreshing as a Thai Iced Tea, but not as filling. We settled on two appetizers, the Chicken Satay skewers and the Crab Dip. I grew up in Baltimore, where hearty, creamy crab dips are as plentiful as tourists in the summer. Urban Thai does their version differently - it's made with mangoes and what looked like some avacodoes, with fresh backfin crab on top. It's prepared beautifully, served in a big martini glass with wedges of fried spring roll wrap. It looks like a fun beach cocktail, and draws admiring stares from across the 20-table restaurant. The Satay was delicious with a good peanut sauce, but that crab dip stole the show.

Dinner was just as fantastic, with one of us selecting the Red Curry Duck, a spicy dish with coconut milk and pineapples, another choosing the Bourbon Grilled Chicken and sticky rice, and with me trying the BBQ Pork, a series of grilled pork tenders served with a pepper-and-scallion-filled translucent barebque sauce. That sauce may not pass muster at a Texas rib joint, but it's just as good, and doesn't have the sugary taste found in most American sauces. UT indicates the relative hotness of their meals with their cicular logo, ergo, more logo = more heat. However, I've had their three-logo Drunken Noodle with chicken, and didn't find it to be too hot at all. However, if you ask the server, they'll be glad to spice your dish enough to induce tears.

Urban Thai has all the essential Thai dishes - Pad Thai, Prik King, Pad See Eew, Kra Pow - and a group of specialities, like a spicy Crispy Duck and Panang Grilled Shrimp that never fail to impress. Their noodles are wide, not too doughy, with just the right consistency. The servings are just the right size - big and filling enough to let you know you ate, but not too big as to be imposing or nap-inducing. The vegetarian menu is full of fine options, too. The Grilled Salmon and Mango salad, mixed with the ginger honey vinagrette, or the Green Curry Veggie stuffed full of tofu, bamboo, basil and eggplant, are real meals, not just a dish without red meat. Meat eaters will love the Ginger Beef Broccoli and the Kao Mon Gai Tod, a battered chicken breast served with garlic-and-ginger rice and a spicy soy sauce, is fantastic. They also offer a sweet soy sauce that they'll be glad to bring out by request, and it goes well with their milder dishes.

Urban Thai has a full bar, with a selection of low-to-mid-priced wines. It offers a decent array of mixed drinks, including all sorts of things ending with -tini, and starting with mart- and lychee-. Watching my mom get half-crocked from an Urban Thai mango daquiri may be my highlight of 2006. I wish I could tell you about their desserts but I've never had room for any.

Urban Thai is open 7 days a week for lunch and dinner at 561 S. 23rd Street in Crystal City. They accept credit cards, can split and seperate checks, and the restaurant has a handful of seats outside in a covered patio. Take out and some delivery is available. Most dishes are around 7 dollars for lunch and 12 for dinner.

Just be careful with the Lemongrass Ginger Iced Tea. There's no known 12-step program for overcoming that addiction.

This post thanks to guest-blogger Ray at http://blog.myspace.com/amishrave/ Thanks Ray!

What to eat while waiting to find out about that embarassing rash

There are not many reasons to come to Baltimore. However, one of the chief reasons is it is home to the Johns Hopkins Hospital, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, School of Nursing, School of Public Health, and various associated labs and medical libraries. While you are toiling away in a classroom or waiting for medical exams, you might want to grab a bite. The following are places to eat at JHH. Please note, this is list is not comprehensive.

1. The hospital cafeteria: located in the ground floor of the hospital directly past the main entrance (on Wolfe Street), this large eating depot affords some of the most interesting and depressing people-watching to be found. While the food is the normal cafeteria-fair, with soggy pizza and sandwiches, there are also stalls selling subway sandwiches, coffee, etc. The ice cream is quiet tasty (sometimes they even have sprinkles!), but everything else is somewhat sub-par. It is open from 6:15 AM to 7:15 PM every day. The coffee and pastry stall is open from 5:30 AM to 2 AM

2. Tower Terraces: this is a posh, sit down restaurant located across from the cafeteria. While the meals look tempting, I have never heard anyone be too excited by it. However, housed within the restaurant is an excellent sushi place (they do have a small dining area, but most people do take-out) Winners of Baltimore City Paper’s best hospital food award, the sushi is usually nice and tasty, and the servers are always ready to do rush orders in case you are late for an emergency appendectomy. Both are open from 11-3 Monday-Friday

3. Grille 601: known to locals simply as The Grill, this restaurant is located off of Broadway St., on level 2 of the outpatient center (if you are entering from Broadway, this is the entry level). A tasty and fresh salad bar is offered. Wraps (which are particularly tasty), fruit, Jell-O, pudding, etc are also available. There is also a sub stall, as well as a pizza and hamburger stalls. Breakfasts are available, but expect your arteries to ache at the sight of the bacon, sausage and scrabbled eggs. It is open from 7AM to 3 PM, but because many of the hospital staff frequent this restaurant, be prepared to wait if you go during rush times.

4. Women’s Board Coffee Bar: this place claims to sell coffee and pastries, but I have honestly never been able to locate it, much less sample their wares. Allegedly it is open from 7AM – 3PM Mondays through Fridays on level 1 of the outpatient center

5. Juice and Java: This store, manned by some of the more surly food workers of JHH, can be found in the main lobby (on the first floor) of the Weinberg Building. It offers tasty breyers ice cream, in addition to the standard coffee, sodas, chips, and snacks. It is open Monday-Friday, from 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

6. Daily Grind: this café has 2 locations: second floor of the School of Public Health, and first floor of Hampton House. While snacks such as warps and salads are available, the premier draw is the tasty coffee and other beverages. The hot chocolate with whipped cream is especially not to be missed! However, be sure to time your visits carefully, especially at the school of public health locale. The 10:30 AM rush is particularly dangerous, as students desperate for caffeine fix before biostats jockey for position on the line. Open in both locations, 8AM-5PM Mondays through Fridays

7. Medical School Cafeteria: I have never eaten here but it looks tasty enough, though not particularly interesting. However, right next door is a large computer lab where you can see real live medical students in their natural habitat. Open on the first floor of the medical school, 7AM-3PM Mondays through Fridays

8. Jay’s Café at the School of Public Health: Located on the 9th floor of the school of public health, this café is run by a popular catering company. Offering a range of food from sushi to hot food (there is a daily rotating menu) to salads it is, for institution food, supposed to be pretty tasty, and the lines are rarely line. A wide mix of personnel, from professors to nursing, med, and public heath students to doctors can be found the café. While the food may give them something to eat, the main draw is the glassed in eating space, offering amazing panoramic view out over eastern Baltimore and the harbor area. open Monday-Friday 7AM-3PM

9. The Grind: not to be confused with the Daily Grind, this coffee shop is located on the fourth floor of the Ross Research Building. The coffee is lackluster and the pastries are sub-par, but the view is not bad. Open 7AM-3PM

10. Coffee Bar: located in the lobby of the hospital, this coffee and pastry stall is quick and easy for those in a rush. They also have amazing muffins. Open 7AM-3PM

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

This is my maiden Cinco de Mayo here in the DC area. Living in Texas gave me an amazing appreciation for such a day of celebration. The margaritas were flowing, the tortillas soft and warm, and the guacamole good and fresh. Now that I am significantly “North” of the Border, I have planned a menu for this night with a twist.

Mango Key Lime Margaritas*
This tropical margarita is much fruitier and easier to drink than a genuine Mexican margarita…not that anyone has any problems drinking Jose in the hot summer nights…

1 shot (1 ounce) tequila
1 shot (1 ounce) Cointreau
1⁄4 fresh mango, peeled and chopped
1⁄2 cup fresh orange juice
juice of 1⁄2 Mexican or Key lime
1 cup crushed ice
2 Mexican or Key lime slices, for garnish

Combine the tequila, Cointreau, mango, orange juice, lime juice, and ice in a blender and blend until slushy. Serve in large cocktail glasses. Makes 2 margaritas.

For your starter course- why not try take some of the tequila left over from the rita’s and toss in some shrimp:

Tequila Shrimp Cocktail
2 lbs. fully ripened fresh Florida tomatoes (about 4 large)
1 jalapeño pepper, seeded, finely chopped (about 1 T)
1 T grated lime zest
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
2 T tequila
2 T lime juice
1 T orange-flavored liqueur (optional)
1-1/2 lbs cooked large or jumbo shrimp, cleaned

Remove stem ends from tomatoes and finely chop. In a small bowl, combine tomatoes, jalapeño, lime zest, salt, pepper, tequila, limejuice and liqueur (if using) until blended. Chill. Spoon an equal amount of the tomato salsa into 6 margarita or wine glasses. Surround with chilled shrimp, dividing evenly.

Moving into the main course- at this point its time to crank up mariachi music and make the following:

Seafood Pozole
1 sm Onion
1 cn Yellow hominy (15 oz.)
3/4 lb Rockfish fillet
2 ts Olive oil OR salad oil
1 Lime
3 c Low-salt chicken broth
1 can Diced tomatoes and juice (14-1/2 oz.)
1 can Chopped green chilies (4 -oz.)
2 ts Ground cumin

Salsa or hot pepper sauce

Preparation:

Thinly slice onion. Rinse and drain Hominy. Rinse fish, pat dry, and cut into 3/4 inch cubes (discard any bones you discover while cutting fish). Slice lime into 6 wedges.

Cooking:

1. Stir onion and oil in a 3-4 quart pan over medium-high heat until onion is tender, about 5 minutes.
2. Add hominy, chicken broth, tomatoes and their juice, chilies and cumin. Cover pan and bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes.
3. Add fish; simmer and stir gently until fish flakes when prodded with a fork, 2-4 minutes. Ladle soup into bowls. Squeeze juice of 1 lime wedge into each bowl of soup. Serve salsa or hot pepper sauce alongside to season to taste. Makes 6 servings.

This post thanks to Guest Blogger Kate over at http://notquitemartha.typepad.com. Thanks Kate!