And when she was good she was very very good...

Like the photoshopped cover of the brochure for a college that's pushing diversity, Hanks Oyster Bar is a mixed experience. Some of the food is so freakishly great that you ask the server for your menu back and order more. And some of it…well, Hanks could easily be the Next Big Thing…but first they're going to have to buy fresh seafood.

The location is outrageously cute, with sidewalk tables, simple, happy bistro design, and waitresses you just want to smuggle out with you in a doggy bag. The delicious aromas alone should be bottled; they could charge to deliver that smell of savory hot oil into more elegant, but less tasty restaurants. With the help of a glass of fruity white, I highly suggest the following:

Things that were really good:

Raw oysters - I suspect that whatever they are offering that day will be good, but I tried the Malapeque Oysters - I've been in withdrawal since DC coast stopped serving them in favor of York River ones. Fresh, delicious, briny.

Seafood Ceviche with lime, jalapeno - This stuff is lovely! Scallops, squid, shrimp; if it starts with an S, it's in here.

It's not on the online menu, but a spicy oyster shooter went down perfectly.

Things that looked awesome but I didn't try them:

Lobster roll - Oh man, this thing was bloody beautiful looking

Giant prawns - I will never forget the two delicate ladies next to us who picked each monster out of it's shell like they were doing taxidermy.

Things that you might want to wait on

The garlic steamed muscles were easily the most popular thing on the menu, served with crusty bread and happiness. I was halfway through before I got my first bad one, the next came a moment later. After a while I ran out of napkins to spit them into and gave up. A friend mentioned she had the same experience…C'mon Hanks, we're counting on you to do better.

Hank's Oyster Bar
1624 Q STREET

This is not about DC, nor Fud...discuss.

In anticipation of the Virginia Wine Festival (coming up this weekend, September 30th and October 1st), allow me to sing the praises of two DC-area wineries. These came recommended to me by Chris over at Wine With Dinner, who is my personal wine trainer and guru.

Breaux Vineyards, Leesburg--it's a long drive from DC, but completely worth it, even if you, ahem, get lost. Breaux is a gorgeous vineyard, with a rather stately-looking tasting house on a hillside, where picnics are welcomed and playful jazz music is played. There are two tasting menus: the house tasting, which includes eight wines, and the more exclusive "library" tasting, which includes five more mature, complex vintages. The library tasting also includes the Nebbiolo, a truly fantastic experience of red. I haven't yet been to the Piedmont in italy, where the Nebbiolo is a noble grape, but I can hardly imagine it being any more noble there than it is at Breaux. There are also two crisp, fruity, and very different Chardonnays, and a blue-ribbon Merlot. The staff is relaxed, but eager to answer questions. Breaux is open for tastings year-round Fridays through Mondays from 11-5 (but call before you go, just to be sure.)

Hillsborough Vineyards, Purcellville--this might be an even prettier vineyard than Breaux, and it's a little homier and more charming. There's a goldfish pond, a spaniel, and a jaw-dropping sunset view. Their wines are all named for stones, and the "Opal" (named for the vintner's grandmother) is one of the best--a beautiful, bright blend of viognier and chardonnay. They also have a red called "Bloodstone," with seductive earthy notes, which I was mocked for trying to describe. But this wine really does taste like life and death, and sex, and power, and the change of seasons. Hillsborough is open Friday-Monday from 11-6 for tastings.

Breaux Vineyards
36888 Breaux Vineyards Lane
Purcellville, Virginia 20132
Phone: (540)668-6299 (800)492-9961

Hillsborough Vineyards
36716 Charles Town Pike
Purcellville, VA 20132
Phone (540) 668.6216

Baltic Porter

Like with food (and almost everything else, for that matter), I tend to go through phases in beer. The shifts can be subtle, like earlier this summer moving away from my staple hefeweizens to full-wheats and eventually to Pilsners, and brought on by environmental changes like visiting the Czech Republic (home of many awesome Pilsners). Or, they can be quick and dramatic and brought on just by trying something new.

Just before leaving DC, I visited the always entertaining Brickskeller, and sampled the Ukraine’s Obolon Porter. I was duly impressed by my ancestral land’s meaty, dark and very flavorful brew, and have since discovered the wonderful world of Baltic porters. The other night, at Atlanta’s answer to the Brickskeller – the Brick Store Pub, a rather nice venue, but nowhere near approximating its apparent (possible?) namesake – my eyes shot directly to a Finnish offering, the Sinebrychoff Porter. Yes, beer from Finland. Good beer from Finland.

Sinebrychoff Porter pours like hot molasses, with a thick mocha-colored head, and develops slowly in the mouth. The first taste is bitter toffee, with hints of chocolate, but as it slides over your palette you notice coffee, chicory, and smoky flavors, with a subtly spicy finish. Beneath all that, there’s a slightly sweet taste (but it’s not a sweet beer at all).

I like beers that fight back. This one might even win.

The Brick Store Pub
125 E. Court Square
Decatur, GA 30030
404-687-0990

Go Fish

Yes, Eamonn's lives up to the hype. The tiny (20 seats!) little restaurant in Old Town Alexandria, brought to us from the Restaurant Eve folks, was highly anticipated by the area food community. Greasy comfort food with an excellent pedigree that those of us who don't earn tasting menu salaries could actually afford? It seemed almost too good to be true.

And while Eamonn's isn't a perfect entrant into the new restaurant market, it certainly has plenty of charms. The menu is limited - a couple types of fried fish, served regular or large, two sizes of chips, a handful of other items such as battered burgers, a variety of dipping sauces, and their guilty-pleasure desserts, including fried dough, fried Snickers bars, fried Milky Ways...if you're on a diet, there is no reason to step foot into the tiny restaurant.

The atmosphere is casual - even more so than I expected. Your seating options are a handful of tables with benches, and a couple bar stools. This is an in-and-out kind of place, rather than somewhere you linger (though the $5 Guinesses may cause you to extend your stay a little longer, and are the best beverage bet, as lesser bottled beers also run $5).

The portions here are not gigantic by any stretch of the imagination, but do you really need to clog your arteries with large quantities of fried food? The large piece of cod runs about $6.50, which seems a little much for just a piece of fish, but then you actually taste the thing. The meat is delicate and flavorful - the batter is hearty and delcious. Chips are twice fried, and even better when accented with malt vinegar or a bit of one of the sauces.

It is in the sauces that Eamonn's shows a bit of its high-end restaurant roots - would you have thought that curry sauce would make an excellent accompaniment to fish? My friend and I found it incredible, though we still enjoyed the "Fronch" mustard sauce as well (though it was creamier than I usually like my dijon) - you can choose one sauce out of about 6, or pick a couple for 50 cents each.

I'm not a chocolate fan, but I think those out there will be more than willing to sample the fried candybars for themselves. My friend and I shared a $2.50 order of fried dough balls, which were heartier than I expected, and addictive -they're coated in sugar and cinammon, and they made a convert out of me, when I tend to usually skip dessert. Even if you think you've had your fill of the fried by meal's end, don't miss these.

While you'll ultimately walk out of Eamon's paying a little more than you'd expect for a low-key, easily-inhaled meal of fish and chips, the quality of the ingredients will have you reassured that it was money well-spent.

Eamonn's
728 King St.
Alexandria, Va 22314
703/299-8384

Oyamel, No-yamel

I picked the wrong weekend to leave town.

My favorite of Jose' Andres' group of restaurants, Oyamel, has closed in Crystal City. The last night was September 16th. It will reopen in Andale's old space, 401 7th Street NW, sometime in 2007.

Granted, this is old news, and I knew it was coming, but it is still jarring to see the sign in the window explaining the move. My day job is in Crystal City, and I've enjoyed the diversity of restaurants here, from surprisingly good chains like Ted's Montana Grill and Hamburger Hamlet, to interesting family-owned places like Urban Thai, Punjab Kabob, The Portofino and Cafe' Italia. Having two of Chef Andres' finest, Jaleo and Oyamel, on the same block, has been a wonderful bonus. Oyamel's happy hour specials of tacos, especially the chicken and chorizo combo, and fine margaritas made a nice afterwork treat. Jaleo's not bad, but I preferred Oyamel's bolder spicing and flavors.

Many `burbs have lousy food choices, and it's certainly better here in Crystal City than in my former office space in Owings Mills, Maryland. Sam's Club hot dogs vs. Red Robin vs. Hops vs. TGIFridays, maybe a Ruby Tuesday to spice things up - that's just not a winning battle. It made me long for the fictional fare from Chotchkie’s or ShenaniganZ.

It's comforting to know Oyamel will be back and will be a nice alternative downtown to Rosa Mexicano. Plus, Oyamel's space will soon be occupied by a new Roberto Donna project, a casual Italian place dubbed Bebo Trattoria.

This must be how parents rationalize when their child marries - I'm not losing a Jose', but gaining a Roberto.

Rollercoaster of ... chili?

Ohio is home to several large rollercoaster-based theme parks, including Cedar Point in Sandusky and King's Island near Cincinnati. Taking an early fall mini-vacation, I headed out to the land of large rollercoasters and WKRP. My main goal was to ride the legendary wood coaster The Beast, and his "offspring," the fearsome, looping Son of Beast. Sadly, the son is being grounded for hurting some passengers earlier this year, so I had to settle for the old man, and trust me, he's no joke. Wilder than any ride around here, including Ride of Steel, the Grizzly, Volcano or Apollo's Chariot, but not quite as crazy as 395 at 6:30pm. However, the theme park is full of places to get chili, which didn't strike me as the usual fare. Chili + rollercoasters + overstimulated sugar-filled kids = a strange color of sick.

Cincinnati-style chili is a relatively mild mix of meat, tomatoes and chilies, but, rather than going for heat or spice, they make it sweeter by adding cinnamon to the mix. Usually served over a plate of pasta with cheese (3-way), onions (4-way) and beans (5-way), or on a small hot dog with similar toppings called a Coney, Cincinnati chili is very smooth and easy-to-eat, pretty much perfect for kids and not too rough on the ole' G.I. tract. This chili is not going to be used for some Herculean eating contest, where consumption of the brew comes with a waiver and a medical warning.

The Queen City has chili joints like we've got Starbucks, tapas and Peruvian chicken takeouts. There's at least one at every interstate exit, usually next to the Steak 'n Shake or the massive grocery stores out there, like Biggs or Meijers. You'll see two major chili chains, Skyline and Gold Star, with shops throughout southwestern Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky, along with a smaller Kentucky-centric chain, Dixie. You'll find canned and frozen versions of all three shops' wares at the massive grocery stores, and rumor has it that a couple of local grocers here carry them from time-to-time.

If you like a meatier chili, you'll like Gold Star a bit better. The meat seemed a bit heartier and substantial. Skyline has a good seasoning, and though the recipe is secret, I thought I could taste some bay leaf and allspice in their mix. Dixie is a good mix of the two, though I'll confess I couldn't eat their offering fresh from the store, as two 3-ways and two Coneys from both Skyline and Gold Star had me craving anything BUT chili by that point.

If you want to try this version of chili, you can mail order some from any of the store's websites, or swing by any of the Hard Times around here, where they also offer spicier chilis, like the tasty Terlingua Red as well as Cincinnati style.

Cephalopods can cook!

I realize that some of you may already be fans of Tako the Octopus, but a lot of people don’t seem to know about the wonderful web cooking show, Deep Fried Live, which is available here. You get to watch a cartoon octopus cooking pumpkin flan or steak. And, yes, the show is funny and entertaining, especially the episodes where he struggles with a live chicken or prawn. You can even check out recipe cartoons, like the recipe for beer can chicken.

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful: Asian Food

Well, it's getting to be that time, during the dog days of summer, when the temperature drops below 350, and it's worthwile to get grilling again. Instead of the usual barbecue fare (not that there's anything wrong with that), I thought I'd share a recipe that's very simple, yet very exotic at the same time. I first encountered this at my best friend's place in North Carolina. My best friend's wife is Vietnamese, so a lot of Vietnamese food is made down there. The dish is called Bún Thịt Nướng, and while it is usually made with pork, I do it with beef because I think it's a better flavour (ingredients are listed at the end of this article).

The first step to preparing Bún Thịt Nướng, is to have your best friend's wife and her mother argue for several hours about how the dish should be made. You see, we have a "two Vietnamese/three opinions" scenario here.

Once that's done, you will want to cut the beef roast into one inch strips, mix them with the onion, garlic, and marinade, toss everything to ensure an even coating, and let the beef marinate overnight in the fridge.

The next day, you'll need to prepare a few things before the meat is grilled. First, you'll want some rice noodles (the bún in the name of this dish refers to a form of rice vermicelli). These noodles will be boiled like normal pasta, then run under cold water to chill them (in this dish, only the beef is hot). If you'd like, you can roll the noodles into little "nests" to make them easier to take off the serving platter.

You'll also want some salad fixings. This is pretty flexible, and you can put whatever you'd like in there. I usually use cucumber, carrots, and basil (if you can get it, Thai Basil is authentic to the dish, but if not, regular Italian Basil will also work). Skewer the meat on some wooden or bamboo skewers that have been soaked in water for some time (the soaking ensures that the skewer will not catch fire). When skewering the meat, put some of the onion pieces onto the skewers as well. Grill the meat and onion skewers until the meat is done (approximately eight minutes per side over high heat).

Once the meat is done, bring everything to the table, and make a bowl for yourself. Use some rice noodles, salad fixings, deskewer your desired amount of beef and onions, and top the whole thing with the dressing (instructions are below). It's light, yet filling, and perfect for this time of year. This dish also works well for hot weather, as it's surprisingly refreshing.

For this recipe, you will need:

• 3 Lbs Beef (I use a mix of London Broil & Chuck Roasts)
  
• Onions (cut into chunks large enough to be skewered)
  
• Garlic (To Taste, Minced)
  

• 2 Tbsp Vegetable Oil
  
• 3 Tbsp Soy Sauce
  
• 1/4 Cup Sugar, Dissolved in 1/2 Cup of Water
  

The dressing will be made from nước mắm, which is a Vietnamese fish sauce (any fish sauce will do, and they're usually sold in the international aisle of your local supermarket). Most fish sauces are made from anchovies, but, it's possible that some of them are made from shellfish. If you're allergic to shellfish, read the ingredients. When finished, this sauce will not taste fishy at all, it will be a perfect balance of sweet, savoury, salty, and spicy.

To make this dressing, mix the following ingredients together:

• 1 Cup Water
  
• 1/4 Cup nước mắm (fish sauce)
  
• 1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
  
• 1/3 Cup Sugar
  
• 2 Tsp Chili Garlic Sauce (found in the Asian Food section of your supermarket - I use Lee Kum Kee brand)
  

Wine Pairing:

I would pair this dish with a crisp refreshing white wine. A nice Riesling would go very well, as would a good Spanish Albarino.

Decadent Tooth Decay in Del Ray, Part One

Not to get all Andy Rooney on you, but, didja ever notice how some neighborhoods seem hell-bent on making you fatter? The Del Ray neighborhood in Alexandria is one of those enclaves where the chocolate drowns and the sweets chase your blues away. This place is so devoted to making us chubby, I have to make this a two-part series.

You can start your own personal Tour Du Pudge at The Dairy Godmother, formerly known as the Del Ray Dreamery or That Custard Place in Del Ray. Though the name has changed, the incredibly high-quality goodies have not. This charming place offers all sorts of frozen and baked snacks, such as a variety of sorbets, cookies and turnovers, though the star of the show is the handmade frozen custard, a thicker, though not-really-more-fattening form of ice cream. Owned by Wisconsin native Liz Davis, The Dairy Godmother offers both chocolate and vanilla custards, plus a flavor of the day. Her imagination with custard is boundless, and you're likely to find her cranking out a traditional Mint Chocolate Chip as you are to try a Lemon/Blueberry mix or the exotic flavors of India in her cardamom and almond Khulfi. Fortunately, she keeps the shop's website flavor-of-the-day calendar updated, though I'd like to see her expand that to include her delicious sorbets. Also, treat your dogs to frozen Puppy Pops or to treats shaped like squirrels.

St. Elmo's is celebrating their 10th anniversary, and the lively crowd of locals, shoppers scouring Mt. Vernon Avenue, and a varying array of local musicians give this place a fun, tangible energy. While folks who are content to be buried in the throes of the Sunday Post and iPods are certainly welcome, it's a great place to learn the scoop on local restaurants, real estate, politicians, etc... In many ways, this might as well be the Del Ray community hall, the subject of a fine, albeit over-caffeinated, Norman Rockwell painting. St. Elmo's has a fine selection of coffees and teas, large muffins, sandwiches and small snacks. Their White Chocolate Mocha uses their own brew mixed with Ghiradelli's white chocolate, and should come with a warning label not to handle explosives or large machinery afterwards.

The sign said "Chocolate Covered Peaches," and pointed down the street to a new chocolate-centric sweetery. Artfully Chocolate is the new kid on the block, and makes a strong case for devastating your diet, artfully. Open for just a little over a month, the shop is located around the corner from The Dairy Godmother and St. Elmo's, and features a wide assortment of novelties, fudge, truffles and licorices. The fudge is richer than a Saudi oil baron, and the trays of chocolate-dipped cookies are enough to make Dr. Atkins roll over in his protein-rich grave.

The bold tile mosaics, acrylics on mylar, and 3-D pieces at Artfully Chocolate are the works of owner Eric Nelson. So, it's not just a chocolate store, but an art gallery with caramels. While I'm not qualified to be an art critic, his tile-and-mesh mosaic of Marylin Monroe in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" mixes skill and whimsy. In an eclectic, artsy neighborhood, Artfully Chocolate stands out as being even more artsy and eclectic.

If Del Ray hasn't thrown you into a sugar coma yet, walk another block down on Mt. Vernon street and visit The Sundae Times. This is a good old-fashioned ice cream stand, and the banana splits are the size of a small whaling vessel. While the flavors aren't as exotic as The Dairy Godmother's, its traditional ice creams made by Gifford's of Rockville are wonderful, and the wider variety of flavors are handy, especially on those occasions where TGM's FoTD is not your bag, baby.

Coming up in Part Two, a look at the Cheesetique, Caboose Bakery and Cafe, Fireflies and others...

Canada is now 48% less special

While America is reaching a level of economic imperialism unimaginable during the European colonization era of the 17th Century, spreading a slickly-marketed culture to the entire globe, Canada remains an unassuming, sensible, New World counterpart, a Canuck Abbott to our Yankee Costello. They look like us, talk like us, but ain't U.S.

There's a lot to love about Canada. Excellent skiing, panoramic views, immaculate cities. Regional beers so strong that that they make you forget you're living in a town called Dildo. Legal Cuban cigars. Evangeline Lilly. Truly, all things to be proud of, and their desire to protect their culture from American influence is noble, but as their desire to remain Canadian is strong, America's desire to be Canadian is stronger.

Their beloved candy bar, Coffee Crisp, is now being sold in the States. This little candy bar has such a fan club here that they petitioned Nestle' to sell it domestically, thereby crippling a cottage industry of Canadians selling the bars to suckers...er, buyers, on eBay. Theoretically, World Market in Pentagon City has the bars, but two trips in the past week have been fruitless. The Wegman's in Fairfax was supposed to have them in the store as of yesterday.

We've already taken their hockey teams, their top aeronautical engineers from the Avro Arrow project, Tim Horton's is expanding through the Midwest, we're holding all of their comics hostage and, frankly, we're not giving back Jim Carrey or Eugene Levy, but they can reclaim Dan Akroyd at any time. (Sorry about the Phil Hartman thing. We're still a bit bitter about that, too.)

Once we get their superior pop bands, politeness, health care and near-universal gun ownership, the assimilation will be complete. The United States of Canada has a certain ring, n'est-ce pas?

Misogynist Milk Chocolate, or, Mine Candybar Doth Protest Too Much

I go to the grocery store almost every day, looking for something to cook for dinner. Sometimes inspiration strikes – top sirloin on sale, a strange new vegetable to try, et cetera, but then there are the rare moments when an item just LEAPS! off the shelf, demanding purchase. So it was today, when I stumbled across Nestlé’s Yorkie bars.

As you might guess, I had to buy one. I mean, really, sexist candy? I checked the ingredients for some hint as to this bar’s manliness, and found the following: milk chocolate, raisins, flour, and sugar. That’s it: milk chocolate with raisins and cookie crumbs.

Besides white chocolate, which doesn’t even count, milk chocolate is the un-manliest kind out there, and I just don’t see how dry, shriveled grapes could possibly suggest anything complimentary to anyone’s machismo.

As for the taste, Yorkie is nothing special. The chocolate is better quality than you’d find in a Hershey’s bar, and I have nothing bad to say about adding raisins and cookie to it, but the result is just … fine. Not something I need to spend $2 for over a $0.55 pack of Raisinettes and maybe a $0.45 cookie. And definitely not something that makes me feel all manly and ready for a fight. A beer, perhaps, but girls drink that too.

Experimental Sauce

Upon noting that the farmers market was charging a mere $0.49 per pound for baby bok choi, I decided that it was time to attempt a recreation of a dish I had a few years ago. The dish was roasted duck breast with baby bok choi in a vodka-hoisin sauce. Being a grad student, I can't afford duck, especially for a first try of a new dish, so I figured I'd just do the bok choi.

A second catch: upon arriving home, I realized that the only vodka I have is of the flavored variety....ew. I figured, "I'm making this up anyways, why not make it up some more?" and I did. The results were quite tasty, and the sauce is one that I plan on keeping around for a number of dishes in the future.

Steam about 2 pounds of baby bok choi, rinse with cold water (and ice, if possible) and set aside.

In a mixing cup, mix 2 parts hoisin sauce (I used Lee Kum Kee), one part shochu (good luck finding this in the US - substitute vodka or sake if needed), and one part vegetable stock. Heat the mixture and stir until fully blended. Adjust proportions until it tastes good.

To serve, you can do what I did, or what I would rather have done.

What I did:
Cut bok choi in half, put in a large bowl, and toss with the sauce.

What I would rather have done:
Arrange bok choi on a serving dish, and drizzle sauce over them.

Enjoy!