Good Stuff Eatery is a place to eat good stuff.

So we went to the new Good Stuff Eatery on the Hill this weekend. For you Top Chef fans out there, Spike is the mover and shaker behind this new offering on the DC food scene. I didn't recognize the guy, but my sometime-in-the-future-to-be-mother-in-law was a little flustered at seeing him behind the counter. In a cute fedora.

There was a line out the door when we went on a Thursday night, but it moved pretty smartly. We didn't wait more than half an hour to get to the counter inside. After giving your order at the grill, you move to the register where any drinks are ordered. Of note: There are drafts (Yeungling and Blue Moon) as well as bottles (Sam Adams Seasonal, Sam Adams Dark, and Red Stripe), and shakes for any DDs or sweet tooths out there.

I felt bad, but the comparison that kept creeping into my head was "it's like an upscale Five Guys." Now, I don't think this quite does credit to the place. For one thing, the options are a little more interesting than your average burger joint: "Vegetarians are people too 'shroom burgers" involve organic portobellos and panko breading, "Blazin' Barn" has pickled daikon and carrots along with mint and cilantro, and "Colletti's Smokehouse" is topped with applewood bacon and sharp Vermont cheddar. The one thing they hit out of the park in my opinion was the shakes. They were out of the Milky Way Malt, so I settled for a Black and White which is a vanilla shake drizzled with fudge sauce. It was hands down the best shake I've had in a long time. Very creamy, and sweet, but not overpowering.

Running out of a signature flavor was just one symptom of a newly-opened joint. I watched as a guy behind the counter smooshed three burgers with the back of his hand, determined they were all too cold, tossed them, and had the orders re-flamed. They monumentally screwed up our drinks order--but rectified the situation by sending up a second round (of the correct order) on the house. They even have signs up: "We're in traning, please be gentle."

The burgers themselves were good. I should mention that it was a million degrees out, so I had a turkey burger with avacado and sprouts: somehow a lot of beef just didn't seem surmountable. The fries and vidalia onion rings were also delicious.

With a price range of $4.29 to $7.69, and a couple more weeks to iron out the kinks, this will be a respectable (and much needed) casual dining experience in Eastern Market.

As an aside, I have an obsession with sinks in particular, and bathroom decor in general, and I was duly impressed by the Good Stuff offerings. Although the batroom locks were a little confusing to patrons, as the key had to be taken from the outside of the door into the room in order to lock the door.

303 Penn Ave SE
Washington DC 20003
www.goodstuffeatery.com

This is a guest blog by FUD alumn Liz G. Thanks! Yay!

Cooking Tips for Guys, Part I

Summer is here and real American men know what to do: watch baseball on TV, because it's just too friggin' hot at the ballpark, especially if you're not from the Dominican Republic like all those rich pro ballplayers.

It's also when real American men are expected to generate Code Orange air quality days by immolating meat in the backyard. Any pantywaist metrocurian can use those SUV-sized natural gas, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all the fancy features (good subwoofers do help spread the sauce evenly, though). Nah, let's get ready to deep-fry some turkey.

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough real guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Don't bother with those electronic gizmos at Leading Edge; you can never read the LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn't that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don't forget the turkey. Make sure it is big enough to bother with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

4. Check interior compartment of poultry (note: light does not go on automatically; use Maglite). Any paper-wrapped parcels inside do not contain Surprise Creme Filling. Remove; give to wife or cat. If the bird is frozen, use your Benz-0-Matic torch judiciously or the meat will be dry. At this point you may marinate the turkey in any fluid mixture as long as it contains beer.

5. Equipment check list. This will vary but should definitely include safety equipment (welding apron, Kevlar™ gloves, safety glasses, fire extinguisher, cell phone, well-stocked beer cooler or full beer keg with ice), fire ignition tools (lighting chimney, matches, flamethrower, etc.), food manipulating tools (tongs, skewers, forks, knives, meat thermometers, meat hygrometers, count-down timer, 55-gallon deep-fry container, perforated deep-fry container insert with turkey stand and handle, caulking gun for stuffing insertion, brushes, airbrushes, and hypodermic needles for applying sauce, tattoo gun for decorations), deep-fry medium (vegetable oil is better than animal fat; Marvel Mystery Oil is not recommended), sauces, rubs, marinades, condiments and spices, and some essential vegetables (potato salad, cole slaw, ketchup). Anything missing? See Step #2. Hot and sweaty? See Step #2 (the shopping mall is air-conditioned) or begin beer consumption.

6. Check fuel supply. Make sure you have enough. Charcoal briquettes add a certain piquancy, but for even more petro-chemical taste and aroma soak your wood, charcoal, or bitumen in charcoal starter, napalm, or even gasoline (to hell with the expense). Do not add gasoline to burning fires or glowing coals, even if you feel you have protected yourself by consuming sufficient beer.

7. Ignite fire. Don welding apron, Kevlar™ gloves, safety glasses; if you are Caucasian, reverse baseball cap. Apply flame to fuel and accelerant, then extinguish eyebrows and flip-flops. If you are cooking over a gas burner or using an electric deep-fryer, get medical treatment for low testosterone level immediately. Remember to consume enough beer to keep cool.

8. Ensure that your annoying neighbor is downwind of your fire. Give the jerk something real to grumble about. He won't complain to you, though -- no real American guy would embarrass himself like that or disrespect the sacred nature of male outdoor cooking. If he complains, report the wimp to the authorities as an illegal alien terrorist and/or sexual deviant. Continue consuming beer to keep cool.

9. Cook. Allow fire to settle into glowing coals before using crane to hoist container of cooking oil over grill or burner. If you have been too impatient to allow fire to settle into glowing coals, extinguish oil fire and repeat. While waiting for fire to settle into glowing coals, prepare turkey by sprinkling it with salt, pepper, and/or the Deep-Fried Turkey Sprinkle you probably bought at Home Depot, and/or brush, air-brush or inject that Home Depot Deep-Fried Turkey Sauce. Remember to leave room in the oil container for turkey and perforated container to displace hot oil; if you forget, extinguish oil fire and repeat Step #9. Consume beer to replenish vital fluids and keep cool.

10. Remove turkey when done.The Deep-Fried Turkey Doneness Formula is simply Time = (weight of turkey) ß/Σ (altitude)2. Remember to adjust for actual air pressure and the specific gravity of your particular oil medium. If you think of turkey weight in kilos, knock on some doors and get a real American to help you. You can calculate Deep-Fried Turkey Doneness more easily with a meat thermometer: remove turkey ten minutes after meat thermometer melts. Alternative method: turkey is done when a 200-pound American male cook has consumed 216 fluid ounces (one gallon, five-and-a-half pints) of beer (caution: if you think of this as 6.39 liters, see above).

11. Allow turkey to drain and cool before eating. Do not blot with shop rags (these often contain metal shavings and will ruin dinner) or those little finger towels in the guest bathroom (using those for anything is grounds for divorce).

12. Call KFC. What the hell; a good time was had by all. Need a cold one?

Disclaimer: The above is provided for amusement, not actual cooking. NotionsCapital is not responsible for interpretations by the humor-impaired, mentally-challenged, or emotionally-disturbed. If English is not your native tongue, please ignore this post. Yes, we are aware that people are injured while improperly deep-frying turkeys and that consuming deep-fried foods is not considered healthy, so keep it to yourself. Jeez, what a country.

The preceding post was submitted by guest blogger Mike Licht. His original entry may be found here.

The Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic Will Not Be Molli-Coddled

Have you ever tried something new just because the packaging looked interesting? I'm not ashamed to admit it - I'm American, have some disposable income, and am easily distracted by bright, pretty things.

At least, that's my excuse for trying out MolliCoolz yesterday, and I'm sticking with it. I was not particularly hungry for ice cream, nor was I even trying to feed a sweet tooth. I was simply walking down the frozen foods aisle, minding my own business, when *BAM* I saw a bunch of ice cream beads staring at me.

I was intrigued. These MolliCoolz looked like Dippin' Dots - Ice Cream of the Future! - but I didn't have to go to a theme park, mall or baseball stadium to get them. What struck me was the packaging - pre-wrapped individual serving sizes in a small plastic tub, or four of the tubs wrapped together. The tub is transparent, so you can see the brightly colored beads. The ice cream looked like fun, like a dairy-based fireworks display. The store had five flavors available, and while I'd given MolliCoolz a small glance before, they had never held my attention like this. I picked up the Cookies and Cream and Banana Split flavors, giving in to the temptation.

Where was the Good Angel, sitting on my shoulder, telling me "No Five! Bad Five! Don't Do It!" when I needed him? It's not that MolliCoolz are bad, per se, they're just not good. The cookie beads were a bland chocolate, and the vanilla beads were mediocre at best. The banana beads reminded me of driving past the petroleum domes near New York City on the Turnpike - tasteless and vaguely chemically.

MolliCoolz are definitely targeted towards the "spoiled rotten elementary school kid with over-indulgent and easily-manipulated-through-guilt parents" demographic. Anybody who is a big fan of small-batch ice creams and custards, like Gifford's, The Dairy Godmother, Thomas Sweet's or Ben and Jerry's, will be put off by the strange DuPont-esque taste. Little kids, who adore such wax-loaded candies like Nerds and GummiWorms, will love it.

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MolliCoolz earn 4 out of 10 Whammies! Whammies! were earned by being fairly affordable (4 single-serving tubs for 5 bucks at Giant), colorful, interesting, and being portion-controlled. I like the idea of a nutritional label being able to accurately indicate the calorie, sugar and carb counts for the entire package. However, it lost six Whammies! because it took me six bucks worth of soda, water and toothpaste to get the bland taste out of my mouth.
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Moo-ve towards your closest Chick-Fil-A (dressed as a cow) Friday...

On Friday, July 11, 2008 (12am-6pm) participating chick-fil-a's will award a free combo meal to customers fully dressed like a cow. Details are here: