Three Inexpensive Wines

By Andrew Kohn.

I'm an adventurous drinker. Just as any professional athlete is always looking to improve his game, I'll sample almost anything. It's with excitement that I look at the D.C. areas drinking rejuvenation. In a town where it's all too easy to cater to the clientele with either expensive Scotch or cheap beer, I'm thrilled to know there are true artist in the city re-claiming the past and defining a future for often neglected and forgotten spirits. Perhaps a little too trendy at the moment, however, this too will settle and the spoils will remain for those original riders of the bandwagon.

Much has been written about the new drinking trends of the city. A recent Washingtonian detailed the 75 "best" bars in the area. I need not get into this. Not today - today I'm going to share three great wines with you that are inexpensive and versatile. We all love to go out drinking, but it can easily drain our bank accounts with expensive cocktails and buying drinks for certain people we would never do so for under normal circumstances. This is for the Tuesday night FUNctional alcoholic: home from work, musing over dinner, and looking for a simple glass to drink while opening the mail.
This one is for you!

THE RED: Gnarly Head Old Vine Zin 2006. I'm in love with this wine. Let me be the first to admit, I know very little about the science of wine tasting. But I've drunk enough over the years to know what tastes good and what doesn't. This is, however, pure opinion. But, just so you know, I'm usually right. Give me a heavy red, a meaty red, a red with body! I don't normally like being punched in the face, but I'll allow it from this wine. Deliciously robust, this Zin let's us know who he is from the opening sip. Described as having "heady layers of vanilla and chocolate" a Dixie Cup this is not!

And the best part is, you can get a bottle for about $9 from Safeway. Reduced in price for months, I've recently been stocking up, expecting at any moment for the price to shoot back up to $16. Courage my friends, get while the getting's good!

THE WHITE: 365 Everyday Value® Diflora Pinot Grigio. That's right, a Whole Foods Pinot Grigio. As the website says, at $11.99 per 1.5 liters, this wine works out to about .80 cents per glass (albeit small glasses). I like to think I'm an expert of the cheap Pinot Grigio. This is my water, my liquid diet. I wouldn't have gotten through law school without my Fish Eye. Do I have a problem? Yes. I can spend more time in the 1.5 L section debating the merits of cheap wine then most people. But, because I'm a giver, you are now benefiting from my hours of extensive thought and labor.

I hold no grand illusion that this wine is phenomenal. But for the price and the quality, it far exceeds its competitors. Light, airy, and a nice color, this wine will be a staple at my summer extravaganzas from the back yard to Wolf Trap. Get out there and try it before Whole Foods realizes this delight is being offered at a Trader Joe's price.

THE BUBBLY: Banfi Rosa Regale. I've saved the best for last. I went through a champagne period where I drank a bottle everyday - my Absolutely Fabulous era - sampling almost everything available. This red liquid ambrosia is beyond compare the best I've ever tasted. Champagne is a tricky game. Even the expensive stuff isn't a guaranteed homerun. With this glass, rose petals and raspberries subdue your pallet. And I discovered it in Vermont! Who would've guessed?

This is not cheap; at about $18 it's not something you're going to buy everyday. But then again, how often do you drink something sparkling? Milliliter per milliliter, this is the best you're going to find. And don't dilute this gem with anything. It doesn't need it. Find it where you can and get two bottles - one for now and one for later. I can think of no better accompaniment to celebrate a special occasion.

Please enjoy these bottles! It is possible to drink well while on a budget! Any one of the three bottles I've suggested should please even the toughest critic. And if not, remind them how much it costs and that you're not picnicking somewhere in Chateauneuf du Pape. Grab your corkscrew and have a wonderful time!

Greg's List, and farewell to Zima

I'm sending a shout out the team over at Greg's List for posting all those great happy hours. I attended the Vegetate's 3rd year anniversary party after finding out about it from the list. They have a Media Maven's happy hour posted for tonight. Hmmmmmm.

Vegetate is a vegetarian restaurant, and the happy hour included complimentary wine and appetizers (including cornbread with celery puree, and bbq seitan). The event also included an art exhibition (spanning all three floors),

In other news:

Despite its 65% approval rating (when being compared to GLUE), MillerCoors discontinued Zima a couple of weeks ago. If you have any left in your pad...break out the Jolly Ranchers. :)

Atlanta's Coffee Deficit

For me, a good coffee shop or sidewalk café is key to living happily: a comfortable spot to get caffeinated, to read, work, and meet people, preferably with good (by which I mean impressively bad) art-for-sale on the walls and enough traffic (inside and out) for good people watching. New Orleans’ Café du Monde is pretty much the ultimate example in my mind, though DC’s L’Enfant does pretty well. Atlanta’s café selection is, unfortunately, a study in disunity.

The coffee at San Francisco Coffee Roasting Co. in Virginia Highlands is really good - rich, hot, and not all burned like it’s been there too long or has been over-roasted to generic Starbucksness - but that thing on my plate was not a scone, by any definition. It was a biscuit which, in addition to overcooking it, someone has shoved a great deal of refined sugar and a small handful of sulfury currants. It’s mostly too dark in the large, otherwise comfortable shop to read happily, but the jazz standards, while uninspired and generic, are piped in at a volume which allows enjoyment but does not interfere with conversation. The patio out back is small and fine enough, except the view is of a parking lot. My large iced coffee was about $2.00.

Decatur’s Java Monkey has a few comfy chairs, some slightly awkward bar and counter seating, and lots of tables that could do with some de-wobblifying. It also has the nicest patio of anyplace I’ve been down here. The coffee’s pretty good - all fair-trade and often organic for those in to such things - and the food is on the better side, with tasty paninis and fair hummus and tapenade. They also have wine and beer, which helps. The people-watching is pretty good here, as is the eavesdropping. The downside, which keeps me from Java Monkey rather more than I’d like, is that every night seems to be open mic night.

I’m all for supporting local artists and such, but there is only so amateur slam poetry one’s mind can handle. The same would go, I suppose, for professional slam poetry, should such a horror exist. Plus, open mic night is LOUD: it’s not the cheering or the moderate extra crowd, but the bloody mic is turned up all the way and the performers (especially, but not exclusively, the slam poets) tend to shout. This makes working, reading, and often conversing rather impossible.

Outwrite has geography, and books. The coffee is atrocious, but the tea is pretty good and enough sugar makes the espresso passable, so it’s easy to maintain your buzz while watching the scenery strut down 10th street. Seating is limited inside, but enough of the patrons are sufficiently friendly that sharing tables is a norm, which is helpful not only in comfort but also in learning all about that hot blonde walking by on the arm of a much older (and…homelier…) gentle(?)man. Sadly, outdoor seating is a no-go: the ‘patio’ is a nine-by-four-foot deck occupied by dedicated smokers and those willing to shout over the too-loud music. Inside, the music isn’t too loud, but it is often crap.

Finally: the Majestic. Not a coffeeshop but a diner, with crap coffee and greasy food and all manner of sketchiness, it’s comfortable enough for late night reading or to take that cute boy who’s been chatting you up for the last four hours at Outwrite, after that’s closed and you’re not ready to say goodnight just yet. It’s open after midnight, as so few Atlanta institutions are.

Java Monkey’s great during times when it’s not a performance space, but Outwrite is my favorite for sitting and reading and for socializing (plus it’s a bookstore, which adds a certain something of its own), and San Francisco is just a walk-by for good coffee. If Atlanta wants to grow into a proper city, it’s going to need a few (or a few dozen) proper independent coffeeshops/cafés, or at least some better-appointed Caribou Coffees or (shudder to think) Starbuxae.

My demands: a large (but not sprawling, Atlanta has enough of that) place, preferably with a nice patio, better-than-Starbucks (or, ideall, actually good) coffee, good snacks/food, and free Wifi. Books and magazines would be nice too - and I mean books, not bestsellers, and magazines that are less than 25% ads, not just Cosmo. Oh, and it should be open well past midnight.

San Francisco Coffee Roasting Co.
1192 N Highland Ave
Atlanta, GA 30306

Java Monkey
205 E Ponce De Leon Ave # 5
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 378-5002

Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse
991 Piedmont Avenue
Atlanta, GA 30309
Tel: 404-607-0082

The Majestic Diner
1031 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
Atlanta, GA
30306-4215
Phone: (404) 875-0276

Squishable.com Launch Party: Drink, Dance, Hug an Alligator

Where will you be Wednesday night? At the Squishable.com launch party.

What's a squishable, you ask? It's a huge, fuzzy, squishable stuffed animal.

Why are we telling you this? Because we're blatantly advertising them, that's why. Haven't you figured this out already?

Check out www.squishable.com to pick out your favorite squishable. (We'll even deliver it to you at the launch party!)

Then come out Wednesday night to celebrate to launch of the new site. Uber-cool DJs Natalya and Melissa (Hej Hej), Your Favourite Asian, DJ Yum Yum (Crap DC) will be on hand spinning really good tunes. So join us at Felix, at 2406 18th St NW, 9 p.m. on Wednesday, June 18th.

Of course, you don't have a buy a squishable to come to the launch party. In fact, we'll have a bunch of them on hand if you'd rather just come by and hug one. Otherwise, you're welcome to order one and we'll deliver it to you Wednesday!

More adorable Squishable pictures after the jump.

See everyone Wednesday night.

Hej Hej: May 22

Where should you be tomorrow night?

Enjoying a nice Viking beer at D.C.'s best Scandinavian D.J. night, of course.

Check out Hej Hej, DJed by our own DJ Natalya and DCFUD-friend DJ Melissa, who also writes excellent food reviews for the Washington Blade. There will be lots of cool Swedish, Finnish, Norwegian, Danish, and Icelandic music that we've never heard of but is all very good and very dance-able.

And, even better, there will be drink specials on Reyka vodka. How can you say no?

So come to Cafe Saint Ex, downstairs, on Tuesday, May 22 at 10 pm.

We'll be there. You should be, too.

A Not-Dark Dark Beer

When the menu at your local beer-house proclaims: “Not available in Georgia [insert your home state/town/country here], but we got some,” with no further description, you kinda have to try it, especially at $5 a bottle.

The pretty bottle depicts members of Louis XIV’s Carugbab-Sallières regimen, presumably marching off to slaughter the Iroquois, but don’t let that detail put you off. Similarly, don’t let the thick black color of this brew put you off, if you’re not usually a dark-beer person (and don’t expect a “Dark” beer either). Unibroue’s Chambly Noire is surprisingly light in body and refreshing in flavor, despite its coloring.

The head is a wispy caramel, more like a crema than proper head, hinting at what’s below – a subtle caramel-coffee nose with hints of citrus and hops, followed by a beautiful, subtle, medium-bodied drink. The sweet caramel flavor dominates the palette at first, but dissolves soon to a citrusy flavor and a spicy, nutty finish.

A special treat for those who might never have tried it (“it’s not available in Georgia”), but for those in more civilized areas, it should be a delicious staple. Unibroue recommends drinking it with grilled fish or smoked meats, and it did go wonderfully with my burger!

Cookies & Booze - The Breakfast of Champions

A while back, Ray had posted an article about Voyant Chai Liqueur (the creator's comments can be found here). Not too long ago, I found another good one to try.

Faretti Biscotti Famosi makes a liqueur that tastes like a mixture of Anisette and Frangelico, which gives it a perfect blend of hazelnut with fennel overtones, making it taste like an alcoholic version of biscotti. As such, it is very drinkable on its own, and it also pairs very well with coffee.

Unfortunately, I can't find either a web site for this cordial, or a list of who carries it, but it's definitely something worth keeping an eye out for!

Vegetarian Sauce Provinçial

A few weeks ago I decided to treat myself to my own version of Mom Krasnow’s Sauce Provinçial – minus the meat. Instead, I added something that every vegetarian loves (provided you mix it with something that actually has a taste) Tofu. Also added a few side dishes and an apéritif.

According to Wikopedia an aperitif is an alcoholic drink usually used as an appetizer before a large meal. Though I usually eat light, I’m sure the folks at Wikopedia won’t mind me saying I had one before I went vegetarian hog-wild on my small course.

For my first culinary feat I sought out the cheapest bottle of white wine that I could find at Giant. So for $4.99 I picked up a bottle of Funky Llama chardonnay, which hails from Argentina, a country actually known for its wine. According to the company that makes the wine, its wines “are a clean expression of our land, lively, fresh, and flavorful.”

To see if Funky Llama is what the makers say, I poured about six ounces of the chardonnay in a wine glass then added a pinch of Cassis. The result is a drink with a sweat and tangy taste all rolled up in one. It was, well, it made me want to go back to Argentina to see La Boca, a neighborhood in Buenos Aires with multi-colored houses. Unfortunately I missed this attraction last time I visited.

Kir (aperitif)
white wine (a glass, i.e., 6-8 oz)
Cassis (less than half a tspn, the less the better)

Squash Con Nada
Squash (two)
Pam no-stick cooking spray

Pre-heat your oven to at least 350 degrees F. Cut the washed squash into half-inch rings. Cover a pan with tin foil and spray it with Pam. Put the squash rings in the pan. Let the squash heat for a half an hour or until it’s ready.

Naked String Beans
String beans (3/4 lb)

Remove the ends from the washed string beans. Place them in a steamer with boiling water. Let the string beans heat for 15 –20 minutes, or until they are ready. Drain the water.

Sauce Provinçial a-la Tofu
Olive oil (two tbsn)
Onion, big white (one, chopped)
Minced garlic (one tbsn)
Vermouth (1/2 cup)
Black olives (6-8 oz)
Tofu cubed (4-5 oz)

Add olive oil and chopped onions to frying pan. Allow the onions to sauté for an hour. Add garlic, vermouth, black olives, and tofu. Sauté the items until they are heated and blended. Don’t forget to put in the olives like I did. They’re the best part.

This post is by Guest Bogger Jay D. Krasnow from www.hyperactivestyle.com. Thanks Jay!

Chocolate that's hot -

It smells like hot chocolate. I mean, it's hot, and it's chocolately. Hot chocolate, right? Noooo, chocolate tea. This stuff has been around forever, but it still has me totally confused. I had always assumed if someone wants watery, dirty-looking hot chocolate they'll just use half a packet of powdered stuff; But no, there is a more tannic alternative.

Chocolate tea is usually made from a mix of ground, black tea, usually Ceylon, and various additives. Sometimes one of those additives is chocolate or ground cocoa beans, but a lot more often the source of that chocolocity is chemicals, chemicals, chemicals. When you're reading the description, pay close attention to where the commas appear. You have to hand it to a PR department who can word something as slyly ambiguous as 'This black tea is blended with Bavarian chocolate and raspberry flavors'.

As anyone who's tried the new 99% cocoa bar from Lindt knows, cocoa flavor without some sort of sugary uplift can be an sharp, metallic thing. So some chocolate teas use natural sweeteners like liquorice root or cinnamon oil, and some simply include the instructions "Add sugar". Connoisseurs of loose chocolate tea suggest using it as the starting point for blends instead of naked; and manufacturers are way ahead of them in terms of turning out mixes with coconut, rose, mint, caramel, and whatever else chemical happens to be lying around on the mixing floor that day.

Still not convinced to just break out the Swiss Miss? Then give these a try. They're actually pretty good if you're on a diet:

Stash as any number of chocolate teas, from macadamia flavored to caramel.

Adagio makes a pure version good for mixing. Reviews say don’t let it steep too long

Canada Creek is what you want if there's a connoisseur you're trying to impress

SpecialTeas also seems to know what they're doing, and they may very well have the most organic versions of the bunch. Or then again, it may not. Chocolate teas are shifty things.

Incidentally, this in no way discounts the pure awesomeness of Chocolate that has tea in it. Try the Dark Chocolate and Earl Grey Version from Neuhaus over in Union Station.

This is not about DC, nor Fud...discuss.

In anticipation of the Virginia Wine Festival (coming up this weekend, September 30th and October 1st), allow me to sing the praises of two DC-area wineries. These came recommended to me by Chris over at Wine With Dinner, who is my personal wine trainer and guru.

Breaux Vineyards, Leesburg--it's a long drive from DC, but completely worth it, even if you, ahem, get lost. Breaux is a gorgeous vineyard, with a rather stately-looking tasting house on a hillside, where picnics are welcomed and playful jazz music is played. There are two tasting menus: the house tasting, which includes eight wines, and the more exclusive "library" tasting, which includes five more mature, complex vintages. The library tasting also includes the Nebbiolo, a truly fantastic experience of red. I haven't yet been to the Piedmont in italy, where the Nebbiolo is a noble grape, but I can hardly imagine it being any more noble there than it is at Breaux. There are also two crisp, fruity, and very different Chardonnays, and a blue-ribbon Merlot. The staff is relaxed, but eager to answer questions. Breaux is open for tastings year-round Fridays through Mondays from 11-5 (but call before you go, just to be sure.)

Hillsborough Vineyards, Purcellville--this might be an even prettier vineyard than Breaux, and it's a little homier and more charming. There's a goldfish pond, a spaniel, and a jaw-dropping sunset view. Their wines are all named for stones, and the "Opal" (named for the vintner's grandmother) is one of the best--a beautiful, bright blend of viognier and chardonnay. They also have a red called "Bloodstone," with seductive earthy notes, which I was mocked for trying to describe. But this wine really does taste like life and death, and sex, and power, and the change of seasons. Hillsborough is open Friday-Monday from 11-6 for tastings.

Breaux Vineyards
36888 Breaux Vineyards Lane
Purcellville, Virginia 20132
Phone: (540)668-6299 (800)492-9961

Hillsborough Vineyards
36716 Charles Town Pike
Purcellville, VA 20132
Phone (540) 668.6216

Baltic Porter

Like with food (and almost everything else, for that matter), I tend to go through phases in beer. The shifts can be subtle, like earlier this summer moving away from my staple hefeweizens to full-wheats and eventually to Pilsners, and brought on by environmental changes like visiting the Czech Republic (home of many awesome Pilsners). Or, they can be quick and dramatic and brought on just by trying something new.

Just before leaving DC, I visited the always entertaining Brickskeller, and sampled the Ukraine’s Obolon Porter. I was duly impressed by my ancestral land’s meaty, dark and very flavorful brew, and have since discovered the wonderful world of Baltic porters. The other night, at Atlanta’s answer to the Brickskeller – the Brick Store Pub, a rather nice venue, but nowhere near approximating its apparent (possible?) namesake – my eyes shot directly to a Finnish offering, the Sinebrychoff Porter. Yes, beer from Finland. Good beer from Finland.

Sinebrychoff Porter pours like hot molasses, with a thick mocha-colored head, and develops slowly in the mouth. The first taste is bitter toffee, with hints of chocolate, but as it slides over your palette you notice coffee, chicory, and smoky flavors, with a subtly spicy finish. Beneath all that, there’s a slightly sweet taste (but it’s not a sweet beer at all).

I like beers that fight back. This one might even win.

The Brick Store Pub
125 E. Court Square
Decatur, GA 30030
404-687-0990

Rice you can drink

Such precious first memories: the first class of 7th grade, the first guy you turned down, the first time you heard the White Stripes. If you're young enough, they may have all happened within the same hour. And yet, all these pale in comparison to the first time you drink Roasted Rice Tea.

Ooooh that toasty nuttiness. That sweet starchiness. That warm, brown aroma of chestnuts and smoke. It's possible that this is the most perfect of liquids.

But first, the evidence. The Japanese word Genmaicha technically translates as Popcorn Tea and I don’t know why. It's definitely made out of green tea (bancha) combined with roasted rice grains (genmai) ...maybe they were being poetic? It's lower in caffeine, and of course, it tastes awesome.
I get mine at Oriental Supermarket on the Rockville Pike where they have a four or five different brands. As I type, I am sucking down Yamamotoyama's lovely version, but all of them are delectable.

But for those of you unwilling to spend the $1.75 for a box, here's what to do:

Roasted rice green tea
Put 2 tablespoons of basmati rice in a small, cast-iron skillet and set over a low flame. Stir them until they turn patchy-dark and give out a nice roasted aroma. Don't burn 'em no matter how cool that would be!

Put the kernels into a small pot. Add 4 cups boiling water and two teaspoons of good quality green tea- two teabags work too. Simmer for 1 minute. Cover, and turn off the heat. Let the tea steep for 3 minutes, then scoop the liquid off. Or strain- whatever floats your thing.

Sam Adams' Future Beers - Reviewed by the Five Paragraph Bitter Beer Critic

Last night, several of your esteemed DCFUD writers met at Murphy's in Woodley Park for a pint or three and good ole' fashioned pub grub. (mini-review - the Murphyburger rocks, the seafood bisque is dandy, and the meat pie was fine; avoid the overly spicy and greasy shellfish soup. Avoid musicians baffled by feedback coming through the sound system).

We were approached by a marketing rep from Sam Adams who asked if we'd like to sample a few of their future beers. We said "Yes!" faster than Jennifer Lopez accepts a marriage proposal. The rep poured us samples of the classic Boston Lager and their Light to get us started. A wise move, as none of us were drinking a Sam Adams' product beforehand, and the small samples would get us prepared for the brands' general taste. She then poured us Type A and Type B - two potential beers that they'd release next year. "A" was a Honey Porter, and "B" was a Smoke Ale.

"A" was delicious, with ZAF summing it up that "(we) could get along nicely." It's a nice, smooth beer, not terribly heavy, and the honey notes add a softer touch. Amazingly, it doesn't taste sweet, but a little less acidic than the standard Sam's.

"B, " however, was an alcoholic travesty. Comments from the table ranged from "it tastes like smoked ham" to "it tastes like smoked gouda" to "it tastes like they added that Liquid Smoke stuff." As a rule, beer should not be described as tasting like a barbecue sauce. The best we could say is that it would make an excellent marinade for the Thanksgiving turkey.

In the interests of full disclosure, The FPBBC used to work for Harpoon Brewery in Boston, and has always been partial to his former employer. The Sam Adams' rep said that a survey found that over 72% of Bostonians preferred Sam Adams over Harpoon as "the" Boston beer. The FPBBC calmly pointed out that Leno has higher ratings than Letterman, proving that popularity has no bearing on taste.

Murphy's
2609 24th Street NW
Washington DC 20008
202-462-7171

To your health

When the news of wine's health benefits first came out, alkies the world over grabbed their closest critic, pointed them at the research, and said, "See?". But if you still aren't enthused at the idea of shooting your daily dose, try taking your medicine the old fashioned way: In a martini glass.

Pomegranate! It's seedy and fashionable! It comes in a crazy shaped bottle! I mean, even without the health claims, who wouldn't want a liquid that stains everything it touches? Try this medical wonder:

Pomegranate Martini:
1 1/2 cups pomegranate juice
2 oz. white tequila
1 oz. Cointreau liquor
Squeeze of lemon

Shake with ice and strain into a chilled martini glasses. Pomegranate seeds as garnish, or use a bit of lemon.

Health benefits:Vitamin C, antioxidants, and a rich source of folic acid and vitamins A and E. Pomegranate helps with heart disease, cancer, skin cancer, osteoarthritis, and, technically, unborn babies tho I guess you should distill out that pesky 'alcohol' part first.

Green Tea Over the years, green tea's been purported to do everything from curing cancer to slimming your ass. It will also do your laundry and make your kids move out of the house. Slurp this, for health reasons only of course.

Green tea martini:
1 ounce strong green tea, chilled
2 ounces citron vodka
1 teaspoon Cointreau
1 teaspoon simple syrup
Orange twist

Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with an orange twist.

Health benefits: This prevention list includes heart disease, cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, high cholesterol levels, cardiovascular disease , infection, and impaired immune function.

Carrots Your mom promised you it would help you see in the dark, and she was never wrong, ever, about anything. Drink to her health while propping up yours

Carrot Martini:
2 ounces gin
1/2 ounce vermouth
1 1/2 ounce carrot juice
1 1/2 ounce orange juice
Dash of Tabasco sauce

Shake with ice and strain into a cold martini glass. Garnish with a celery stick

Health Benefits: We got antioxidant compounds and vitamin A to guard against cancer, emphysema, blood sugar regulation, and, yes, to promote good vision. And Heart Disease. Incidentally, the tobacco sauce will spike your metabolism, help with arthritis, high blood pressure, depression, migraines, flu, ulcers, muscle pains and um, herpes. It's practically your duty to drink this stuff.

I Punish My Liver So You Don't Have To

Fellow DCFUD scribe Jason and I went to Dr. Dremo's in Arlington last night for a pint (or three) of beer. Dremo's has a few self-brewed beers, including their tasty James Brown, Redneck and Centennial Pale Ales, plus a decent selection of microbrews and imports. Usually, their taste is spot-on - Rogue Dead Guy Ale on draft, for instance, is one of the better beers to come from the Pacific Northwest, and Smuttynose Porter is always a good time.

But, just like every Chris Farley has his Rob Schneider, and every Empire Strikes Back has its Phantom Menace, Abita's Purple Haze is like that dumb kid in college who brought down the bell curve. It's full of raspberries - that fruit can kill a beer, as Oxford's Rasperry Wheat comes to mind - and this New Orleans' brewer uses way too much. It tastes like a torte without the cream cheese. Of Abita's roster of fine brews, this is their weakest.

I worked for Harpoon Brewery of Boston during the `90s microbrew boom, and got to taste-test the competition. Sounds like a post-college dream job, but for every quality Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, New Belgium's Fat Tire Amber or Boulder Brewing Company product I enjoyed, I had about 10 lousy, overwrought, overbrewed, overhopped beers from hell. It seemed every craft brewery in North America wanted to out-do each other with exotic flavors, especially with their seasonal brews. I still get the cold sweats thinking of Pumpkin Ale, Cinnamon & Nutmeg beers, Strawberry and Creme lambics. Sam Adams and Rogue both made Hazelnut beers, which sounded a lot better than they tasted. Frederick Brewing Company made an almost undrinkable hemp beer. My rule of thumb became - "If you can make a pie or hippie shoes from the ingredients, I won't drink the beer."

So, it was with a healthy bit of trepidation that I approached Dremo's Chocolate Donut beer. Beer's not exactly health food as it is, and adding an ungodly amount of sugar just seems unwise. But Dremo's home brews are usually quite tasty, and while I don't suggest dunking this Chocolate Donut into a cold glass of milk, it's a good, sweet beverage. You can definitely taste the rich, almost fudge-like chocolate. It smells like chocolate donut, and is thicker than many porters and some stouts. This would be a fantastic dessert beer.

Consider Chocolate Donut the port of beer.

Dr. Dremo's
2001 Clarendon Blvd.
Arlington, VA 22201
703-528-4660
drdremo@msn.com

Voyant II: Going to the source

When fishing for drinkers last week with Ray's Article on new Voyant liqueur, we accidentally reeled in Robert Back, it's creator. He was kind enough to favor us with a few words on the creative process of getting you trashed:

Robert Says:

Thanks for the write up on Voyant.

You were right about making desserts with Voyant. At the Sensi restaurant in the Bellagio in Vegas, they are making Chai Ice Cream with it and you can put it over ice cream, brownies or use it to make Tiramisu or Bread Pudding.

Thanks Robert!

A good idea or horrible mistake?

As part of my weeklong desire to drink away the heat, I stopped by my friendly neighborhood Virginia ABC store. I've never been in a government-run liquor store before, and was interested to compare this place to private-run stores in my hometown in Maryland. The VABC store had all the staples of liver-crushing goodness - fine aged tequilas, dark spicy rums, flavored vodkas - and the low-end ten gallon plastic drum-sized gins and whiskeys. It was a good mix of high-end taste and low-end value. A couple of their prices seemed a bit high - Sauza and Jose Cuervo tequilas seemed about 10 to 25% more expensive than Maryland and DC - but they had some good specials and discounts to bring it back to par.

What really caught my eye was Voyant Chai Creme Liqueur, a relatively new entry in the market. The website describes it as:

Aged Virgin Island Rum, Fresh Dutch Cream, Black Tea from India, Premium Spirits from Holland and a Distinctive Blend of Spices from Asia give Voyant Chai Cream Liqueur the Rich, Creamy Smoothness that you should expect from a Premium Liqueur.

Other than an Annoying Habit of Randomly Capitalizing Letters incorrectly in a Sentence for No Reason, the stuff sounds prettty good. In three hours, give or take, I will be partaking of this new beverage. The Voyant website offers some recipes, a few of which sound pretty interesting, but definitely a little heavy on thicker liqueuers and milk. The stuff sounds perfect for a cold winter day; in fact, I can already picture using this in a rum & coffee mixture to keep warm at football games and ski lodges. Has anybody tried this stuff, and have some tips to share?

I'll do some experimenting tonight...all in the name of research and service to you, dear readers. Behold the effort...nay...the sacrifices I make for you.

***UPDATE*** July 20, 2006 - So, Voyant is pretty good. It tastes just like chai, but with a bit more fun. Think of a spicy Bailey's Irish Cream. It's sweet, and has the look and feel of those hazelnut coffee creamers. The aftertaste of ginger and black tea is awfully pleasing. I initially drank a small snifter of the liqueur, and then began mixing it with other alcohols. I made a simple vodka martini using 1 oz of the Voyant, 3 oz of Skyy vodka, and that was good. Using vanilla vodka made it a bit too sweet for my taste, but I could imagine that replacing the Appletini as a sweet introduction to the world of vodka martinis. Perhaps a 1/2 vanilla vodka, 1/2 Voyant shot could be called "The Ginger Snap." It mixes well with coffee and milk, as I guessed it would.

As for desserts, I could see it punching up anything from an apple pie to a bowl of oatmeal. I've got an ice cream maker that's begging to be used, and a chai ice cream might not stink. However, that will take a backseat as my first dessert with this stuff will be a tiramisu-like concoction, substituting the typical espresso-soaked lady fingers for a dip in alcoholic chai. If it's good, I'll post the recipe. If it's not, well...you're best off not knowing!

Stay Cool and Get Plowed

The next couple of days are going to bring to mind several burning questions, not the least of which is "why in the hell did the Founding Fathers build the Nation's Capital on a swamp?," and, for the purposes of this post, is "how can I beat the heat and drink myself into denying either my existence or the 98% humidity?" As a former bartender, I get asked these questions, kind of like an alcohol-fueled Barry and Ira, the two ice cream guys in City Slickers. While the booze is important, the mixer may be more so.

1) When it's scorching, nothing does the trick quite like a good sour mix or fresh-squeezed limes. Most sour mixes are made up of limes, some lemon and an ungodly amount of sugar. However, that dose of vitamin C can really recharge your batteries on a crazy hot day. The margaritas at Lauriol Plaza, Oyamel and the Banana Cafe' are all winners, though Oyamel is closed on Mondays. Now I know how The Boomtown Rats felt, if not Brenda Ann Spencer.

2) Fizzy drinks cut through dry mouth like emo kids listening to Death Cab for Cutie. Drinks made with tonic or soda waters, or ginger ale can keep you sane. Tonic water contains quinine, a potion that helps treat malaria and leg cramps - who knew gin and tonic could classify as medicine? Excuse me while I go self-medicate...

Some bartenders freely swap ginger ale and Sprite, and that's one of my pet peeves, along with people who wear sports gear unrelated to the teams or the sport they're watching. You know what I'm talking about - the dude who wears a Portland Trailblazers NBA jersey at a Washington Nationals/New York Mets basketball game. Gawd I hate that. Along that line, ginger ale is slightly spicy, and should be used to contrast overly sweet alcohols or mixers. Sprite can smooth over strong, sharp drinks with its citrus base. A well-stocked bar will contain both beverages, and the wise mixologist knows the difference. A Jack-and Ginger would taste like refried hell with Sprite, though a splash of Sprite in a margarita made with a sharp tequila like Sauza Hornitos can make it more tolerable for those who like lighter drinks.

3) Ice cream is good; fruit is better. Some people swear by ice cream drinks when the heat's on, and a good frozen mudslide can be a fine idea, but who wants to walk the streets with too much dairy in their gullets? I learned the lesson of Ron Burgundy well when he said on that fateful sweaty San Diego day, "Milk was a bad choice."

I prefer lighter, fruit-based frozen drinks on days like today. A Banana Nutbread is an awesome drink but is heavier than Beltway traffic. I'd suggest an old standby - the pina colada - and a tolerance of the Rupert Holmes' song.

(For the record - I had no idea that guy had a greatest hits collection, and if I had to guess, it would have come out on cassette single. I figured he did that one song, realized he'd have to play it EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE and just ended it all Budd Dwyer style. Nah, he's a famous writer, playwright and seems to have weird taste in eyewear. Learn something every day...)

There's nothing wrong with adding crushed ice to an old favorite. A frozen Cuba Libre - a.k.a. rum and coke - is awesome, as is a frozen Cape Cod, Fuzzy Navel and Long Island Ice Tea. A frozen Mai Tai is like drinking an adult Slurpee but without that weird spoon-straw thing.

4) Malternative - the term used by the industry to identify drinks like Cider Jack or Bacardi Silver, these beverages, besides having more sugar in them than the Nintendo 64 kid, can really cool you down on a hot day. A Mike's Hard Lemonade usually doesn't suck, and to make them a little more palatable and colorful, pour a shot of a colored liquor like Chambord, Midori or Key Largo Schnapps. Watch the whole beverage change color and provide a bit more kick!

5) Combine them all and make the ultimate summer drink - The Frozen Tom Collins. Sour mix, a good gin like Beefeaters or Gordons, a splash of tonic and fresh lime juice - prevent malaria AND scurvy, get refreshed. I make mine served over crushed ice, and then float a layer of Grenadine, blue curacao or Midori for fun. Using a little umbrella is up to you.

What do you folks like to drink on a hot day? I'll be glad to do some research.

Milk in the Raw. Part 1

‘Th’state says I can’t sell that to you’

I c’n do that…

In southern Virginia there has been an unlikely meeting of the minds on the subject of organic farming. The hippies do it to live a natural lifestyle and to take power away from the man. The far right does it for the same reason they homeschool: ‘ I jus’ wouldn’t put that stuff they sell into my kids.’

Raw, organic, unpasteurized, non-homogenized milk may not be for kids or pregnant folks, and of course, technically it’s illegal. As a rule of thumb, drink without guilt if you’re comfortable eating chocolate mousse; the infection risk is about the same as that posed by raw egg whites (tho the diseases can be worse). This is what we did with the raw milk of Louisa the Jersey cow:

We drank it. Raw milk tastes like a thin, sweet, milkshake.

Then we skimmed off the top layer of cream...

...and yeah, we whipped it up and stuck it on pie and in some coffee and stuff, but mostly, we made butter. Here’s how it’s done.

All-natural, organic, silky, wonderful butter
If you aren’t lucky enough to have an entrepreneurial farmer nearby, I suggest starting with heavy organic cream. Get the most natural, hormone-free stuff you can find. I know Whole Foods has it, not raw but as close as you can buy ‘round here.

Pour about 2 pints...or as much as you want really, into a blender. I found out the hard way that using regular beaters doesn't cut it. Blend on high for about 7 minutes. First it will whip up, then it'll deflate back down and start getting all grainy-looking.

Recovering from July 4th? Hit Up Bluestate!

Looking for a place to dance away three days of hard, post-July 4th work? Head over to Bluestate this Saturday, July 8th. Your favorite local food bloggers (okay, maybe just us) will be there. Good music, good beer, good fun. What else do you need?

Yerba Mate

The last mate post was in January 2005, so I am going to renew the buzz...

I absolutely LOVE yerba mate. I've been drinking it for about 3 or 4 years now, and I still just love the taste. According to Wikipedia, Yerba mate is: "A highly caffeinated herbal tea called mate prepared by steeping the dried leaves in hot water. Drinking mate with friends from a shared hollow gourd (also called a mate) with a metal straw (a bombilla) is an extremely common social practice in Paraguay and Argentina."

I started by buying a bag of Guayaki (tea bags) from Whole Foods in Chicago out of curiosity (I am addicted to buying different teas), and have since purchased my own gourd and bombilla straw, along with loose mate leaves from Teavana at Tyson's Corner mall. I love being able to relax at home, drinking mate. It's so great. I am considering planning our next vacation to Argentina just so I can sit around with some locals in a village and drink some traditional mate.

I enjoy drinking mate over coffee anyday, because I feel more energy without feeling jittery or nervous (like I'm having a panic attack) when I OD on coffee. It's better than tea to me, because it's a better stimulant. Plus, it's rumored to be an appetite suppressant as well, but I haven't noticed too much of that lately. I did notice it more, when I drank it on a more consistent basis.

Today, I received my shipment of 2lbs loose leaf mate from Nativa. I recommend this company, my order came quickly, and the products (mate and herbs) are delicious!

Another great site to order from is EcoTeas, and Aviva. Also, for more local suggestions, check out the January 2005 archive.

Enjoy!

A little buffalo in your cup

Milk gets squirted out of a cow, whittled down to 2%, and poured into my tea. Or a bowl of cereal, or a batch of mac and cheese, but the point is, it comes from a large female cow and gets processed. But it doesn’t have to. In India, neither cow, nor processing are any part of what ends up in my Earl Grey, and it tastes fabulous. And why is that? Unpansteurized, Roamin’ Buffalo Milk.

This stuff is lower in cholesterol, has more proteins and minerals, and more lactoferrin, lysozyme,and lactoperoxidase than cow milk. And who doesn’t want more lactoperoxidase! But the best thing about buffalo-excretion is a lower water content. Remember how good it tastes when Thai restaurants use condensed milk? Now imagine that, but thicker. Incidentally, it’s what makes Buffalo Mozzarella so nifty.

But what about processing? Well, it isn’t, and that means that buffalo milk is so fatty and thick that you could practically stand a spoon up in it, the entire surface covered with globules like chicken soup.

My point here is a recent realization that all Chai I’ve ever had is wrong. Real Chai is thick and rich with fatty buffalo milk, not the thin, limp-tasting white-liquid-with-cinnamon that passes at Starbucks. But no fear! Here is how to thicken your chai, buffalo-style (without a handy buffalo)

Buffalo-esque Chai
Mix together a piece of cushed ginger, a crushed piece of cinnamon, a tablespoon peppercorns, a teaspoon of vanilla, 6 cloves, 2 tsp cardamom, 2 whole star anise, a tsp fennel seeds, a teaspoon aniseed, and half a tsp nutmeg.

Boil three cups of water and add 4 Assam teabags. Then add the spice mixture and simmer for 20 mins.

Now here’s the tough part. Add 3.5 cups of cows milk. Bring everything to a boil and then immediately turn down the heat. Then bring it to a boil again, and turn it down. Repeat that maybe 3 or 4 times and the result should be just as thick and creamy as if you were swimming in buffalos.

Sweeten it with honey, strain, and serve. Buffalo-rific

Free Wednesday Morning Caffeine

Need your morning fix? Get it for free.

From 10 a.m. to 12 noon, Wednesday, March 15, most Starbucks will be hosting the first annual "National Coffee Break", giving away a free tall (12 oz, or small, to the rest of the world) cup of brewed coffee. WIth 62 Starbucks in D.C., you've got plenty of choice. In fact, if you're vigilant, you could probably hit up at least 15 or 20 of them during the two hours of free coffee. So go out and get your free caffiene dose!

Link from Starbucks Gossip.

Bluestate!

Have some coffee with your caffeine

I owe MAW a beer. Why should this be? Because last night in a moment of drunken musing I bet him that tea had more caffeine than coffee. So the real question is, why did I believe this odd piece of urban legend? I’m not sure, but it’s wrong wrong wrong.

Depending on where it’s from, tea has between 40 and 60 milligrams of caffeine. Now true, this is more than a coke (34) or a pepsi (37), but it’s less than your average drip coffee which comes in at up to a heart-racing 175 for the same sized cup. A can of Red Bull contains a paltry 80, despite being banned in France for it’s negative effects.

But what of milk, I hear you say. Popular notion says that it bonds with the caffeine and makes it less painful. Well, drinking milk can prevent caffeine-instigated bone loss, especially for the ladies, but I’m not sure where I heard the other stuff.

Anyway, it’s not true, and now I owe MAW a beer.

Brickskeller: The Place for a Beer...or Several

Somehow, in all our postings, DCFUD has neglected the best place drinking in DC: The Brickskeller. I'd say I'm unsure how we missed posting about The Brickskeller, but I'm fairly certain I know why. Everyone reading DCFUD knows about Brickskeller. In fact, everyone who has ever lived in NW DC knows about Brickskeller. It's the pub/restaurant (whith a heavy emphasis on pub) up on 22nd that holds the Guinness world record for most beers. And it's a great place to go when you want to have several very good and very large beers.

Brickskeller is an institution, but it's not quite like the normal drinking places in D.C. You don't generally go to Brickskeller for a drink. It's not akin to Mackey's or Sign of the Whale. In general, when you go to the Brickskeller, you're going for a night of drinking. You may say you're going for just one drink, but in four years of going, I've never succeed in ordering just one beer. Once you end up at the Brickskeller, you're not leaving until a) you've tried at least two beers you've never had before, b) you're worried about missing the last metro out, or c) they're closing the bar and threatening to chuck you next door into the Fireplace unless you pay your very large bar bill. In fact, my three largest bar bills (one of which topped $600, although it was on a company cc and involved 14 of us) have occured at Brickskeller.

So why do you go to Brickskeller? Two reasons:

1) The Beer. They really do have some of the best beer in the city. Check out zaf's favorite, the Dogfish Head Rasion D'etre, my new favorite, Schneider & Sohn Aventinus, or one of the hundreds of Mexican, Belgian, Chinese, Italian, Russian, or about eighteen other country's beers. Drink and be merry.

2) The Waitresses. I'm not sure how they do it, and it really can't be legal, but the Brickskeller has the most attractive waitresses in town. They are all very cute and they all know it, which makes spending $75 for beers for three people siginificantly less painful. Order a Dunkelweiss and you'll understand why.

So, next time you're looking for a real night of drinking -- no happy hours here -- head to the Brickskeller. It's a place to catch up with friends, have a couple of beers, and wander out at 3 a.m. wondering what the heck the Scandinavians put in their beer to make them worth $8.50 a bottle...and you'll always go back.

The Brickskeller Dining House and Down Home Saloon
1523 22nd St, NW
Washington, DC 20037

Image blatently borrowed from beerblog.motime.com.

Yep, it's cursed

If you've lived in D.C. long enough, you know the story of 1801 Columbia Road. In what should be a good location to open a business, right at the top of the 18th Street corridor on the way to the Metro, the large storefront cycles through businesses every few years, with each owner chastened by the experience, proclaiming the truth of the curse rumors.

As the legend has it, there was nothing wrong with 1801 until the early 1970s, when the storefront was occupied by a pizzaria. A killer worked there, tossing dough in the air when he wasn't terrorizing Greater Adams-Morgan. Ever since the pizza place closed, no business has ever been able to succeed, perhaps due to the ghosts of the pizza man's victims.

Strange things happened to businesses in 1801. During a short-lived turn as a tapas joint, I went in for sangria, lured by the big sign advertising a special on sangria. There were out of sangria on a Wednesday night.

Right now, 1801 is occupied by a Starbucks, which has survived longer than the average business, probably due to support from the head office, which does not have a history of shutting down branches. No matter how much money they lose, Starbucks is not going to shut this place down.

The ghosts have other plans.

Yesterday morning, I went into the cursed Starbucks and ordered a venti coffee. Shouldn't be a problem, right? If they can make an iced quadruple-venti soy nonfat caramel white mocha with whipped cream, they can fix me a cuppa joe.

"We're sorry, but the coffee machine hasn't been working all day. We don't know why and we're still trying to fix it."

It isn't an urban legend if it's true, you know.

Hong Kong Holidays

Greetings from Honk Hong where they take their Christmas shopping more seriously than any Macy's ever did. So when you've been salivating over Prada and Versace, all day, stop in at Isobar overlooking Victoria
Harbor for a

Candy Cane Martini

One shot Sky Vanilla Vodka
One shot peppermint Schnapps
Shake with ice, serve with a cherry and a sprig of mint .

Wines of the Barossa

It’s a tough life for a Groovy Grape tour leader. Every day he gets tourists really really drunk on Barossa wines, eats some Kangaroo, and then drives everyone home snoring in a big white van.

Actually, no joke- it probably is tough. A recent study showed that 50 % of Australians consider drinking till they pass out to be an indelible part of their national character, right up there with playing footy and beating up minorities. And the Barossa valley police, operating as they do in Australia’s most prolific wine growing region, rake in a steady stream of moolah from day-trippin’ drivers who’ve indulged in their patriotism.

This can’t be easy for a van-driving winery tour guide, but it’s great for us. A sizable chunk of the Australian wines that end up in the US start in this hilly area just outside of Adelaide on the Southern coast. Except for the wallaby roadkill it looks a lot like Provence: tiny stone villages, blue mountains in the distance, and carefully manicured vineyards. Quite a few of them are pruned by under-the-table backpacker labor, paid minimum wage and all the grapes they can steal.

On this particular day our long-suffering guide drove us from cellar door to cellar door until we loved everyone in the world. You’ll be surprised how many of these wines end up in Calvert-Woodley Liquors (and everywhere else too).

Richmond Grove actually owns vineyards in other Australia regions too, but its Barossa Shiraz is some tasty tasty stuff. The stone chateau would look great if everything else in the valley wasn’t made out of corrugated tin.

Jacobs Creek is Australia’s largest wine brand- if you’ve drunk a shiraz, you’ve probably drunk Jacobs creek. And hated it. Their touristy celler door is really a high tech “visitors center” reminiscent of that humorous scene in Sideways. Their wines are uniformly bitter and watery.

Vinecrest is famous for Its huge black dog that lazes around in front. The Semillons are sweet and fruity, the Shirazes are nifty (that’s a technical term).

Bethany wins for the prettiest view, and has really really tasty everything: Great fortified that don’t kick your rear with sugar,and big spicy shirazes and shiraz mixes. I think there was a good Semillon here too, but I was way to gone to tell exactly.

If you can't beat them....

Perhaps this sounds familiar to you. It's a late night at the back room of the Black Cat, and some art student is going on and on about how Starbucks has taken over the world. In fact (he mumbles into the counter) there are so many bloody Starbucks in DC, he shoo...he should...should try to visit every single one. Then he probably passes out in a pool of his own self-righteousness.

Well, when he wakes up, there's more than a sad head waiting for him. Jacinda and Jerry over at Siren Song have taken it upon themselves to visit, yes, every single Starbucks in DC, and they do it better than he ever could. They have detailed pictures, reviews of the location, and critiques of the clientele. Which just goes to prove that bitching about Starbucks does not make you alternative. But really liking them does make you intriguingly eccentric.

http://www.sirensongdc.com/

Why can’t you do it like in San Fransisco?

The poor girl behind the counter at Gloria Jean’s today is a Midwesterner named Annalies. She’s been trying to explain why it’s impossible to boil a latte to a middle aged raisin who’s already sent the cup back twice. ‘Look, I know you can do it hotter because I have them hotter in San Francisco. I live in San Francisco. Why can’t you do it like in San Francisco?’

I can see the cup of frothy liquid steaming from here- I’d love to give this ridiculous hag a stern lecture on the specific heat for evaporation of various liquids, but Annelies is way ahead of me.

Apparently, what it comes down to is the heat at which coffee starts to burn. The shot of expresso has to be between 70 and 90 degrees Celsius to keep it from developing that rancid bottom-of-the-office-coffee pot taste. The milk has to be 130 to 150 degrees Celsius to bring out the sweetness, but anything above it might scorch the coffee (which is, when you get down to it, just some woody pulp distilled into water). It seems, from Annelies’s frantic gesticulations that anything above 160 degrees will just make a mess as the milk separates out.

‘Look, the standard is just how its made. If you want it hotter you must be used to having it burned.’ Grudgingly she brings the milk to a rolling boil and pours it into the cup with an audible hiss.

‘Well the standard is changing.’ The woman huffs as she snatches her spoiled latte and stomps away, sipping. I swear I can hear her lips singe as she goes by.

Bella Luna!

Speaking of Sangiovese...

I wasn't able to go to my "company picnic" this summer, because I work in a restaurant and someone had to be there to feed the hungry people. The next morning, my manager handed me a bottle of wine. Apparently, I had been entered in a raffle and won the wine in absentia. Never being one to turn down free...anything...I took the wine more than happily.

I opened it the other day, and experienced something completely different from the last Sangiovese I had (the Il Turchino Chianti). Luna Vineyards's 1999 Sangiovese was a much better sipping wine than the Il Turchino would have been. It was incredibly smooth, with low acidity and tannins, and hints of black pepper, almonds, and tobacco. For a meal, I'd pair this wine with a roast chicken, but it was so good to drink on its own, I think I'd like it with a simple cheese plate with apples, walnuts, and hard cheeses.

We didn't finish the bottle that first night, and I thought I'd drink it with dinner the next night to keep it fresh. Unfortunately, we had pizza for dinner. The wine was still good, the pizza was good, but the combination of the two was...less than good. I do not reccommend drinking this wine with pizza! It was not pretty.

This wine retails for around $19.99. The Luna 1999 Sangiovese Reserve retails for $40.

Mango Wine - Better Than The Real Thing

Who the hell would rollerblade across the Australian red center? The Swiss, that’s who. And when they blow out a tire four hours north of Alice Springs, their only choice is to hitchhike with whatever crazy Americans happen to drive by on a food tour down the Stuart Highway.

We were on our way to Red Centre Farms when we picked up our underage rollerblader. I was eating Nutella out of the jar with my fingers. Amg was singing loudly to a punk cover of Mama Mia and banging on the dashboard. It wasn’t exactly a situation to inspire confidence, so when we turned off onto a small dirt track into the bush he probably assumed that he would never return to the fondue of his home again.

Red Centre Farms is just south of Ti-Tree, and their tagline is ‘A tin shed in the bush, not a castle in France’. Their prime export? Grapes and Mangoes. The entire area of dusty desert floats on a lake of water half the size of Sydney harbor if you dig down a meter, and dig they have. Perfectly geometrical rows of vines reach out into the hot hazy distance on one side, and an orchard of 1700 trees sprawls on the other.

The headquarters, a, yes, corrugated tin shack, instructed us to ring the bell if no one was in. Eventually a small weathered lady bustled around the side of the building, took one look at us, and declared, ‘we’ll have a tasting’. In no time we were herded to a plywood table with an alarming number of bottles. The lady gripped them between her knees to work out the corks while we slapped at the flies and sweated in the heat.

There was a uninspiring cabernet and shiraz mix, and a Riesling so dry that it could have been used for salad dressing. But that didn’t matter because Red Center Farm’s real export is Mango wines.

Oh yes, oh yes. All the nuance and delicate flavors of an excellent wine- and not a dessert wine either-but from a mango. We happily quaffed our way through a ‘Mango Magic’ (good with chicken or seafood) Mango Moonshine (a fortified liquor) and Mango Mist, a champagne better then anything I’ve ever had from grapes. The Swiss guy tucked right in, probably deciding that if he was about to die he might as well go happy.

There was much debate over mango chutney, marinade, topping, and jam, but in the end I bought only some champagne and our hitchhiker was persuaded to some mango sundae. Swaying from happy fumes, I had to ask: why don’t we get this stuff in the US? The answer was a shrug as she rang up our purchases- apparently almost their entire output each year goes to Japan. This gives me just one more reason, along with Pocky and tentacle porn, why it is imperative to invade right away.

Resaturant Week Review: Wine Edition

Yes, yes, I went to Ceiba for lunch on Friday for Restaurant Week. And it was excellent. But I am here to write about wine, and I didn’t drink any wine at Ceiba, due to the fact that it was the middle of the early afternoon, and I was broke from dining out twice already last week. I graciously defer to MJF’s awesome review. I did go to two other restaurants, though, and since it was normal dinner time, and since I was not-so-broke, I tried some excellent wines.

Tuesday night at Galileo, not only were the Restaurant Week food prices discounted, their wine list was equally—if not more—economical. The restaurant’s actual list is, according to their website, "too long to post on [their] website". I assume it is rather extensive, probably changing quite often as management and the sommelier see fit, and probably very pricey. For Restaurant Week, Galileo featured two wines, a red and a white, priced at $5/glass, or $18/bottle. My friends and I opted for a bottle of the red. I usually get to choose the wine; I was having beef for dinner, and $18 for a bottle of wine at a nice restaurant really can’t be beat. The waiter brought a bottle of Il Turchino Chianti to the table. This Chianti, like many, was made from the Sangiovese grape. The wine was dry but light; it paired really nicely with my chilled tomato soup (with almonds! But this isn’t a food review), and was quite tasty with my beef dish, although a more robust Chianti Classico would have made a better match. This wine might have gone better with pasta or roast chicken, but I enjoyed it a lot. Il Turchino retails for $5.99/bottle, and will be much better with food than as a sipping wine. If you can find this wine, buy and drink it, especially at this low price.

Thursday night took me and my girls to Butterfield 9. The atmosphere was decidedly less stuffy than at Galileo, but they featured a full wine list (at full prices). Since I was having fish, (Tasmanian steelhead trout), I wanted a white wine, and I chose the Barnard Griffin Fumé Blanc, priced at $8/glass. I liked this wine a lot, and Fumé Blanc goes very well with fish. Technically, "fumé blanc" is just an American synonym for "sauvignon blanc," and the grapes share a lot of the same characteristics. The Barnard Griffin was very uncomplicated: crisp and fruity, pairing equally well with my appetizer of seared Day Boat scallops. This wine retails for $10/bottle.

Restaurant Week is worth the effort not only for the low-priced meals (and my meals were GOOD!), but also for the wines you can now afford to pair with your food. I find myself more willing to go out on a limb with my wine, and maybe splurge a bit, if I’m not paying an arm and a leg for my food. Both restaurants were absolutely wonderful—the food was inspiring, and the company was fantastic. Can’t wait for six months from now, and our next Restaurant Week!

Know your iced tea!

So many brands of iced tea only get half of the definition correct. They might be cold as hell, but each sip is a harsh reminder that claims of “Natural flavors’ in the US can be backed up by coal tar, chicken skin, and my personal favorite, that grapefruit aroma infused from grasshopper bits.

For those of us who prefer our tea to have something to do with plant matter, stalking the local 7-11 can be a daunting and thankless process. I would like to offer the following spotters guide in the interest of tagging these rare animals for future capture and study.

Malted battery acid
This syrupy brown liquid is perpetrated in the form of Lipton, Snapple , and Nestea, brands known for the gooy chemical residue they leaves on the roof of your mouth and that toxic burn at the back of your throat. If they appear premixed at a restaurant they're either noxiously sweet or dishwater bland when the poor server gets the syrup to water proportions confused. There is no hope for rehabilitation, shoot all species on site.

The mimic
The utter putridity of the malted battery acid variety has left the habitat open to any tea that won’t outright poison you: Arizona, Sobe, and Nantucket nectars. These drinks do a decent tea mimic and sometimes even include tea leaves as part of their manufacture.

Liquid hippie
There are many ways to get a hippie in liquid form, not the least of which is a blender. But in the last couple of years a couple of teas have taken a more domesticated approach: Honest Tea, The Republic of Tea, and Tazo. They’re real tea alright, often sugarless and always organic, as every label proclaims loudly. Drinking them will also single-handedly close the hole in the ozone layer, plant a new rainforest, and impregnate the endangered species of your choosing.

Milk tea, hold the tea
It’s the same concept that created, guacamole-flavored Doritos, pre-made Ritz cheese sandwich things, and peanut butter and jelly spread. If you’re going to be putting two ingredients together anyway, you might as well sell them as a single, low quality product. Milk and tea. In a bottle. Some places even warm it up. Then you have…warm milk and tea in a bottle. Well worth the tranquilizer dart. Try Gogono Koucha, or Kirin. Yes, Kirin.

That green honey rosewater stuff
A shy and retiring beast, the natural habitation for the green-honey-rosewater brands seems to be Thailand, Singapore, and Malaysia. But not, for some reason, Vietnam or Australia…or anywhere else in the entire world. Which is really too bad because I would happily sell both kidneys and an ear if it meant just one more sip of this sweet sweet concoction. Ito En makes good ones.

Swinging and Slurring

Do you like a little dancing with your wine?

Four friends of mine and I made the trek Saturday to Boordy Vineyards, located in Hydes, Maryland, about 15 minutes from the Baltimore beltway. A place that offers tours and reasonably-priced wine year round, Boordy also stages many events throughout the year. Craving stew in the winter? Go there one evening for the nights they serve hot pots of the stuff made with Boordy wines. They have a similarly-themed fondue night as well.

But in the sweltering heat of the weekend, wintery foods weren't on our minds. Music, dancing and drinking, though, seemed a great way to spend the night, and throughout the summer, Boordy brings out a different band for each event, with a corresponding dance class. They've got a zydeco group, motown singers, salsa instruction, and even an 80s night to finish off the series.

We learned the Fox Trot and danced and drank the night away to the sounds of Shades of Blue, fronted by a guy essentially doing a decent Sinatra impression. A warning - nearly every swing dancing event I've attended before has been very friendly to singles - there'll either be plenty of unattached people there, eager to dance, or many opportunities to swap partners. At Boordy, this wasn't the case - the dance floor was crowded almost exclusively with couples, and a lack of guys present meant I ended up being paired with an almost-elderly Asian woman for the entirety of the class. So if you're into dancing, bring a date - or at least a buddy.

As for the wine - the tasting is included in the admission ($15), but you know you always end up purchasing a bottle or two in the end. After our sampling, our group tried out Boordy's Merlot, Vidal Blanc and Sangria. The Vidal Blanc was citrusy, zesty, and sweeter than other versions of the wine I'd had before. The Sangria had plenty of personality, and maintained a bold fruitiness despite being bottled (I'm used to my sangria served in a pitcher with chunks of oranges floating around. The effect is the same here, but you miss the aesthetic). Bring your own glass, or pick up one of Boordy's for $3.

The weather was perfect, and it was a really fun activity to share with friends; I bet it'd be even better for a first date. It's a great place to bring a picnic, though we were lazy and brought mostly takeout offerings along with our chairs and blankets. If you're interested, this weekend boasts the Jacques Johnson Band (motown), and different events continue through Labor Day weekend.

Boordy Vineyards
12820 Long Green Pike
Hydes, Maryland 21082
Baltimore County

When It Comes To Wine, When You're Wrong, You're Wrong

Guest writer JEB has joined our staff to write about wine.

How many things have to happen before you’ll admit that you’re wrong? I had to admit three times that I was wrong about wine, and the admission didn’t come too easily.

I grew up in a Jewish house. My only exposure to wine for the first 19 or so years of my life was Manischewitz. With non-drinking parents, I was never taught about the "real" stuff. I came of age thinking I hated wine altogether.

I grew up a little and drank a little and tasted a little more wine and realized there was more to life than kosher blackberry wine. I came to the conclusion that there were lots and lots of good wines out there, and I liked all sorts of varietals. I just couldn’t stand chardonnay or merlot.

I worked at an upscale bar for a few years, and at the insistence of my manager, I tasted a French chardonnay. I expected to hate it, but I was proven wrong. It was bright and fruity—nothing like any of the other chards I had tasted. I liked French chardonnay, I reasoned, but California chardonn...keep it away from me! The bottles I had tasted from California seemed too grassy and oaky for my tastes; I preferred my whites lighter and fruitier.

It was a recent trip to California’s wine country that opened my eyes. On the drive from the Bay area to Mendocino County, the boy and I stopped at four vineyard tasting rooms. My only stipulations: I would not taste any merlot or chardonnay. I was convinced I wouldn’t like them. After some...um...discussion, I gave in. I would taste, I just wouldn’t like. The girl behind the counter at Sonoma County’s Foppiano was very friendly and poured us heaping glasses of their featured wine of the week. Which happened to be a chardonnay made under their Riverside label. I took a sip...not bad. Another...and I actually...liked it. The wine was citrus-y, but not cloyingly so; bright, but not as light as a pinot gris.

The girl behind the counter explained that, unlike most California chards, their wine was aged in steel barrels, not oak. It really changed the flavor. Wines aged in oak barrels tend to use malolactic fermentation, where malic acid is converted to lactic acid. This gives most California chardonnays their buttery taste. Malolactic fermentation is absent in most steel barrel-aged wines, giving the wine a taste more reminiscent of bright citrus than heavy butter. Naturally, wines not aged in oak barrels never gain an oaky taste.

There are some very good oaky California chardonnays out there, Sonoma Cutrer, McNab Ridge, and Selby Winery are among them. They just aren’t my personal taste. I still haven’t tasted a merlot I really like. But one thing I’ve learned from all of this admitting that I’m wrong: I’ve got to keep tasting.

By the way, most of these vineyards are more than happy to deliver if you can’t find their products in your local wine shop. You must, of course, be over 21 to order (be prepared to show ID to the delivery person), and due to state laws and regulations, those drinkers in Virginia and Maryland cannot ship wine. Those of you in DC, however, can get wine delivered right to your door. You can always ask your local wine retailer to order a case or two for you.

The Chinatown

This entry was written by guest contributor TCD, one of the brains behind the DC Food Blog.

Last Saturday, my friend Writergirl and her high school friends were generous enough to let us see the long lost episodes of their homemade sitcom, "Makin' It thru the Day". Imagine a group of smart midwestern daughters of college professors and their little brothers deciding to do a parody of every cheesy family sitcom, produced complete with bad puns, slutty neighbor girls and an "everyone hugs" ending. And since I am totally addicted to so-bad-it's-good television, I forced Writergirl and her friends to show us their parodies of afterschool specials, including Choices: One Girl's Story (she's keeping her baby) and Three Cheers for Murder.

When watching such a smorgasbord of hilarity and bad camera work, alcohol must be present and in abundance. In honor of our high school years, Writergirl was kind enough to make homemade version of Matchbox's Chinatown - which tastes like an upmarket, adult version of the wine coolers I used to drink in high school...and college. Ah, the halcyon days of Bartle's and Jaymes.

From Writergirl, The "Chinatown" is (all numbers totally approximate):

3 oz Watermelon vodka
1 oz triple sec
splash of sprite
splash of sour mix
tiny splash of cranberry juice for color

Is that a hop in your pocket, or are you just a horrible beer?

I have no shortage experience with bad drinks. Genny Light, Everclear, mixed drinks made with a splash of all six nearly-empty liqueurs left at on the table at 3 a.m., old milk - I went to college and I know what I’m talking about.

But Tupper’s Hop Pocket Ale is a step above the rest in terms of nastiness and could put up a respectable fight for the title of Worst Beer Ever. Produced by Old Dominion Brewing Company, a producer of a wide line of awful beers that take up valuable tap slots across the region, Tuppers' is touted as "a rich harvest ale, deep gold & extravagantly hopped." What does that mean? It means that in lieu of the careful brewing required to produce a quality tasty beer with character, the brew is so severely hopped that it washes out any other vector of flavor.

Like Michael's spicy cole slaw at a recent Fourth of July BBQ, you’re initially fooled by the texture into thinking it's going to be just like the other beers (or cole slaws) you've had - the cold and refreshing part comes through first. Then Tuppers' grabs a hold of your tongue and palate, mashing its extreme hoppiness into your powerless flesh. It's like rubbing a wet cloth covered in topsoil and white vinegar and around your mouth.

The Tuppers' on my desk that I'm fighting through now in the name of online culinary journalism is a leftover from a party in which only four beers out of a six-pack got opened, all of which were tasted by the opener and then passed over to some unsuspecting fool who in turn took a sip, grimaced and started looking for another victim. At the end of the night, all of the other beer was long gone, but three of the four open Tuppers' sat on tables, half-finished and cursed by nearly every attendee.

Consider yourself warned.

A Bit of Internet with Your Coffee

There are those among us here at DCFUD who cannot be separated from our computers. I'm among the worst, especially as I often spend large portions of my day working in coffee shops. For those of you with the same addictions as me, here are a list of places I know of with wireless (wifi) internet for partrons.

Reddish Summer

For me, iced tea defines warm weather. In my house growing up, the first really warm, sunny day of spring meant a big glass jug of water and tea bags went out on the front porch, and came back, poured over ice, as the first hint of summer. There’s sweet tea too, but that was always a not-at-home treat, as my parents (and now me) are not big on keeping sweets in the house.

Over the years, the recipe has evolved, from early years of Red Label or Orange Pekoe, to the high school staple of 50-50 Earl Grey and Darjeeling, to my collegiate blends of gunpowder and jasmine. Today, I made my first jug. That is, the first jug I’ve made in my own jug on my own stoop. Consequently, I decided to try a new recipe.

I used:

1 L purified water, in a glass pitcher
2 bags Ten Ren Hibiscus Spice tea
4 bags Twinings Darjeeling tea.

Put in sun for three hours. This mix has the sweet, citrusy flavor of hibiscus without being overpowering, although next time I think I’ll add another bag of that if for no reason other than getting more of its amazing crimson color.

We all scream for...

Apparently Starbucks thinks it's Ben & Jerry's. The coffee chain will be offering free ice cream at its many locations today. Though we'll probably be assaulted by the thousands of readers (shut up; we can dream) who abhor Starbucks' corporate empire, we consider providing you Free Food Alerts our mission.

We won't patronize you and tell you where to find a Starbucks in DC - we'll simply tell you to walk four blocks. Or take a hint from DCist and discover your Starbucks Density.

Bubble Tea!

I love bubble tea. I know many who think it's gross, but I love it; I love the oversweet tea, the strange tapioca balls, and the oversized straws you drink it all through.

You can imagine my delight (and my bank account's horror) when walking to my office this morning I notice a brightly colored sign in the window of the once-great-but-now-mostly-mediocre Lawson's Gourmet advertising their newest offering: Bubble Tea!!!!

So for my afternoon sugar break, I went down to Lawson's and paid my whopping $3.85 (incl. tax). Their menu is confusing: it appears that they have many flavors of bubble tea (as you can get at a proper Chinese place), but they only have Black Tea. "Oh well," I thought, my dreams of green tea flavored bubble tea returning to their dark corners in my mind, and ordered Black Tea flavor.

The tea itself was a bit too bitter - probably brewed too hot (as seems to be the custom in these parts) and too long (ditto) to boot - but the sweet milk with which it was mixed canceled most of that out. The tapioca pearls, which are what makes Bubble Tea so special, were good, if a bit mushy. I expect this will improve as Lawson's staff gain a bit of experience handling them, and as long as they don't go all the way to the other end and end up hard and awful like the miserable Teaism bubble tea, I'll be happy. There was also a bit too much ice in my cup. More
flavors would be nice.

I'll have another one tomorrow.

Lawson's Gourmet
1350 Connecticut Ave, NW
Washington DC 20036

Recent Wine List

Wine is probably my favorite drink in the world, but it wasn�t always. I was pretty much indifferent to wine until I went to Strasbourg, and really learned about the wines of Alsace.

Of the seven main varietals in Alsace, six are white, and this post isn�t about them. A future one may be, but in the meantime if you want a great wine to go with fish or chicken in a cream sauce, try Lucien Albrecht�s Sylvaner (or Pinot Blanc)�watch the vintage � you probably don�t want older than 3 years or so from Alsace.

I�ve had a few red wines worth mentioning recently, so that�s the topic of the day. The least impressive was Jed Steele�s Shooting Star 2002 Pinot Noir. Now, unlike certain other bloggers, Pinot Noir is one of my favorite reds, but this one left much to be desired. A good cherry flavor starts this wine off, and lingers throughout, but is more or less flying solo: no other flavors really jump out to support it. A touch of spiciness, inherent to the Pinot, comes through, and perhaps some smoke. Not great, but just fine as an aside to my seared ahi tuna. Not worth the restaurant price though!

On nearly the opposite end of the spectrum, we find the Signorello 2001 Napa Valley Zinfandel. My parents have recently been getting really into wines (particularly the Napa ones), which may or may not be a brilliant scheme to get me to come to dinner more often. Should that be the case, I�m perfectly OK with it. A good wine snob, I tend to look upon the zinfandel with some suspicion, in addition to just generally not liking them. But one sniff of this
rich, deep red wine effectively opened my mind. Powerful and spicy, the dominant flavor for me was currant, with perhaps a shade of eucalyptus. It�s unfiltered, but the wine made me happily overlook the sediment. Expensive, but worth it.
At another dinner chez parents, we had the winner of the three: the Edge 2002 Cabernet-Sauvignon. Beginning with a gorgeous nose, full of currant and sharp with something that might be green apple, the wine itself is relatively light, but full of flavor. The strong currant nose yields to a cherry flavor, with currant to the side, and again a sharp flavor I couldn�t identify. This is a damn good wine.

Lastly, a guilty pleasure. I love port: it�s sweet, cheap, satisfying, and can be really good. The one I keep in my bar at home is Clocktower, from Australia�it�s a fairly basic port, but with a nice chocolatey flavor and enough depth not to make me feel cheap. But I am cheap, so Clocktower�s $10 price tag adds greatly to its appeal.

A hot night on the Hill

Most of the DCFÜD crew went out last night for an evening of medical emergencies, unbearable heat and violating open-container laws. It was like July... in April.

"Would you like some onions with your HUMAN LIVER?"

The extremely accomodating (and extremely Irish) server Gerry at the Cap brought a bowl of ice and some napkins to keep amg and zaf's anti-typhoid vaccines cool, and later even agreed to store the medicine in the bar's refrigerator. This was a good thing, as the Cap Lounge was experiencing a climate-control malfunction which caused overwhelming heat to blast from the ceiling vents. It was like happy hour in a tandoori oven - not pleasant.

Several men who looked like they could speak authouritatively about things like ducts and vents came around to tinker with the thermostat, each announcing that the problem had been solved. It only got hotter. When we protested the furnace-like state, the bar manager offered free shots if we stuck it out until the thermometer registered 100 degrees.

As it turns out, the thermometer didn't display more than two digits, but when it finally rolled over to "00", the manager honored his promise and brought a round of whiskey, although not without hassling the three Wilson SHS graduates at the table (snh, wrc and ejg if you must know) about their D.C.P.S. high school.

I think the line was, "I'm from Ward 8, I know what I'm talking about."

No free drinks	Free drinks

Our three exuberant ladies, filled with the energy of youth and many full mugs of cheap beer, decided that while Zack's doesn't have an outdoor patio, that should serve as no hinderance to taking a few beers outside and dancing in the rain on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Thirty seconds later, the bartender went to the door and asked them to kindly come back inside the bar, explaining how a liqour license is a good thing for a bar to have.

We went home, secure from typhoid and sobriety.

-Written by snh, edited and crossposted by DCSOB-er rj3

Drink like a rock star

This is a good month for trying strange new drinks with questionable properties. The excellent Greek Deli on 19th Street carries Rockstar Energy Drink, which is exactly the type of beverage which must be purchased and consumed simply for the sake of blogging.

According to its its 16 oz. can, Rockstar is "enhanaced with the potent herb milk thistle" and is "scientifically formulated to speed the recovery time of those who lead active and exuasting lifestyles--from athletes to rock stars." On the official Web site (note the clever URL), you can purchase official Rockstar merchandise, including a stylish trucker hat (my birthday is in July, in case anybody is wondering).

The president of the company is a gentleman named Russell Goldencloud Weiner. The drink smells and tastes like carbonated cough syrup. One hour after consumption, I don't feel much like a rock star, but the rainbows are finally beginning to melt off the walls of my office, and now I feel an urge to go trash a hotel room.

This post fueled but not paid for by Rockstar Energy Drink.

Green Fairy, why do you hate me so?

This and other questions- like is it really possible for eyeballs to grow hair and why is my brain leaking out of my ears- are what I'm contemplating this Friday morning. Bloody hell.

The lovely lafb, having recently returned from Barcelona, was kind enough to get a respectable amount of Absinthe through customs in an empty plastic water bottle. There was only one thing to be done, so last night maw, rj3, zaf, snh, wrc, amg, and ejg got together to do our bright green duty.

The water technique- dripping water over sugar cubes placed on a fork or slotted spoon until they have melted into a single shot of Absinthe- was overturned in favor of the fire technique- a process that uses no water, a healthy dose of pyromania, and incidentally three shots of Absinthe. And cheap white wine as a chaser.

Instructions: Soak sugar cubes in Absinthe placed on spoon. Set on fire. Burn till sugar caramelizes. Stir. Add a healthy splash of water to give it a pretty milky color and change the taste from completely intolerable to moderately intolerable. Your lips will then go numb.

Results? Well, folks ended up rocking out to Thriller played on an old fashioned record player. amg and rj3 decided that it was a great idea to enthusiastically deep fat fry some Sylvia's hush puppies. Break dancing was perpetrated. Other stuff probably happened.

Anyway, some of us made it to work this morning, others did not. Green Fairy, you are a cruel little girl.

A Tough Assignment

This past Sunday, I was privileged to attend the Sixth Annual Washington DC International Wine & Food Festival. Well, let me append that. I was privileged to have someone get me in on a dealer's badge, so I didn't have to pay and got to go in hours before the general public.

Not having been to anything like it before, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I mean, you hear 'over 1,700 wines from over 240 wineries from around the world.' But it is something of a sight to behold. Filling up the main hall of the Convention Center with row after row and table after table of fine wines and spirits, the physics of it are somewhat baffling.

As the designated driver*, I didn't try out quite as many wines as my companions. And really, I don't think it'd be possible to even try the majority of them without alcohol poisoning. However, there were still some finds of the 21 or so I sampled.

So, some highlights. The Australian vintner Meinklang always suggested something else first, but it was their ice wine** that was drawing a crowd. PJ Valkenburg had one of the best Rieslings I've had in a long time. On the red side of the fence, the Ventisquero Grey (from, uh, Chile?) was smooth and friendly. And the Terramater altum shiraz, that I could drink all night. I will be tracking down something by Weingut Josef Bauer later (and the wine was poured by Mr. Bauer himself!) Banrock also had a white shiraz and a sparkling shiraz, if you're not overly fancy and like getting creative. (continued)

pmmj, Guest Blogger

And I wrote down a bunch more, so if you have a personal favorite, drop itin comments, I'll see what else I might have scribbled down to remember.

And oh, the cheese. igourmet.com won the day here, with many tasty selections and easy internet ordering, for your cheesy needs. The Meinblang table also had a fine sheep cheese on their table which tempted me back for seconds.

Side note #1:
Everyone was happy. No, really. Usually at these things, there's a fair subset of disgruntled employees who are just manning booths because they have to, and see no need to be helpful *and* friendly. Not so here. It was like a big boozey love-in, everyone was friendly.

Side note #2:
One of the DJs from 100.3 was there... handing out cheese. Write your own joke there.

Side note #3:
Marc Silverstein from the Food Network's "The Best Of" provided color commentary for one of the cooking demonstrations, but allow me to note how unimpressive it was. I seriously thought it was some local news 'celebrity' who was hamming it up on stage.

Side note #4:
While I appreciate Giant wanted to advertise their Peapod delivery service there, having a guy dress up as a big pea pod might go over better in a different venue.

Side note #5: Wineries need better websites. Really.

* - Don't fret, I assure you I tried out no small number of wines.

** - I confess I'm a sucker for ice wine, but this really was that good.

pmmj, Guest Blogger

Smith and Kearns

My mother introduced me to this drink last night, by way of a slightly-less-too-much-information-than-usual-for-my-mother story of how it was introduced to her. I have, however, yet to hear a decent explanation of how it got such a strange name. Good thing that isn't one of the questions on the Alcohol Test. Anyone here know?

Smith and Kearns
1 part Kahlua
1 part cream
1 part seltzer
3 ice cubes
Serve in a snifter.

Sideways Update

So apparently I'm not the only person who saw Sideways and immediately went out to try a Pinot Noir. Much thanks to Amalglife for spotting this article in the Washington Post about skyrocketing Pinot Noir sales from movie publicity.

Apparently more than half the wine sales at Firefly (1310 New Hampshire Ave.) this season were Pinot Noirs.... i still prefer something that doesn't taste sour the second you eat it with food tho.

So a guy walks into a bad joke

So a guy walks into a bar, orders five Baltimore Zoo's. Bartender looks at him and asks, how do you make a Baltimore Zoo? Guy gives him the following recipe:

• 1 shot Gin
• 1 shot light Rum
• 1 shot Sour mix
• 1 shot Triple sec
• 1/2 shot Vodka
• 1 splash Beer
• 1 splash Grenadine

  Pour over ice in a highball glass

The bartender makes five Baltimore Zoos and the guy drinks them all at once. Bartender says, 'buddy, you shouldn�t drink so fast, better slow down'. The guy says, 'you'd drink like this too if you knew what I had'. Bartender says, 'Well what do you have?' Guy says, '50 cents.'

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Political tea

Trying to get the bitter taste of our new McCarthy-esque political climate out of your head? If you don�t have cyanide around, I suggest the delicious combination of super-sweet liquid with a dollop of cream that is Thai iced tea.

'But zaf! You say, 'I'm just a pawn of the lip-service moralism of the current administration� and incidentally I also don�t know how to make Thai iced tea!' Well don�t you worry- my vote may not count but I can still teach you how to make the sweet, sweet, oblivion that is this popular fountain soda equivalent.

To a pot of boiling water, add to taste:

• Two Chinese star anise, ground (optional)
• A teaspoon orange flowers�I actually leave this out and substitute cardamom instead
• A teaspoon vanilla
• 1 pinch cloves
• 1 pinch chopped cinnamon
• A handful of long cut China black tea leaves
• At least half a cup of sugar

Steep until lukewarm, strain, pour over ice, top with half and half.

But what if the crushingly low value of the dollar means you can't buy any of the ingredients listed above? I suggest DeDe's Instant Thai Tea- forgetfulness in a packet form. I know you can get it at the Laurel Safeway�probably a whole bunch of other places too but I'm too depressed by the state of the union address to look them up.

BlueState: A potable triumph.

Those of you bouncing around our little gritty city know that for the best in refined entertainment nothing beats an evening of balletic inebriation at one of DC's finest cultural establishments.

Last Saturday (1) was Bluestate at the Black Cat backstage bar. Four hours, four DJs, four dollar rail. (And three-fifty beers but that doesn't square with my quartenary fetish. Get it? "Square" with...).

So break out your church-keys and swizzle sticks--we're going to review the drinks, learn about beer, and maybe learn a little about life (2).

Part 1
or: Righfully ashamed of your heritage.

The choices at the bar (3) were Domestic, Furrin, and Rail.
Now there seems to be some sort of mental block about American beer amongst the mildly educated. It's ok for British beer to taste like watered down weasel piss because "It's Supposed To". It's all right for Irish beer to taste like rotting coffee grounds because "I.S.T.". Similarly, no one notices the German removal of all whimsy from their beer and the Belgian beers crafty substitution of fruit for flavor because (say it with me) "They're Supposed To".

Normal American beer taste likes the alchohol-reduced proceeds of a dialysis session because it's supposed to (4). But please keep in mind that its signature "flavor" developed in an era (5) when people were pretty much blitzed 24/7. They'd have hard cider for breakfast, whiskey at dinner and spend all day in the sun. Picture this: your wagon wheel just snapped again, you're hot, tired, and that 5am eyeopener is starting to turn on you. You may choose one of the following: warm mucousy milk, raw throat-peeling whiskey, cloudy cholera-ridden water, or a cool refreshing barely alcholic, lightly-flavored beer. If you have to think about this you've been insufficiently exposed to the elements. I recommend being duct-taped to the hood of an LA-bound Greyhound in August.

That being said, I'm also not going to defend American beer's flavor. Proctoscopy and root canals have their place but they aren't something to be proud of.

Part 2
or: Yer eether with us or agin' us!

Import beers as commonly stocked are a cruel joke. Instead of taking the opportunity to provide a balanced bar and serve some novel flavors, most bars serve whatever tastes the most like the domestics they already provide (6). It means that you can be guaranteed a Mexican beer with a piece of fruit jammed in the neck to disguise its flavor, an imported lite beer that no one's heard of in the old country, or a German beer that you couldn't give away to a homeless alchoholic in Berlin. If they won't drink 'em back where they came from why would you? It's like dating foreigners; don't drop your standards just because of the cute accent. (7)

Part 3
or: Where am I and who are you?

Rail drinks are the barometer of bartending. Broke? Poor? Just plain beat-down? If you can walk up to your bartender and ask him for a vodka tonic sure in the knowledge that you'll be getting enough off-brand nail polish remover to lift off the top of your head, then you're at the right bar. The Black Cat is a huge winner here. The bartenders are fast, generous, and happy to provide the drink-appropriate fruit accompaniment. My lovely assistant had a turpentine and cranberry that was just slightly pink and my other colleague was given a drain cleaner and tonic that betrayed the presence of tonic only by the barest hint of carbonation. These guys know that when you're ordering rail you don't need the comfort of not-tasting-the-booze.

So three cheers for the Black Cat bartenders, long may their heavy hands slosh paint thinner!
-------------------------------------
(1) Some of us need multiple editorial revisions before we can so much as sign our name. Please bear with the delay.
(2) You won't learn anything about life, I promise.
(3) As far as those of us on an age-appropriate income are concerned, call drinks aren't a viable option.
(4) As opposed to Sam Adams style microbrews which taste like that because they were brewed by guys with a PHD in marketing and no taste buds.
(5) The era when people who dressed like the Amish were called hipsters.
(6) Not to mention that by the time a big shipment of beer makes it across the ocean and is distributed, a disturbing number of the bottles have become skunked.*
(7) Unless it's that breathy Persian accent. You can totally drop your standards for that.
---------------------------

*Would you drink wine that had become corked? Of course not! Spew that mouthful of stale brew right back at them and don't take any of the bartender's "Imports are supposed to taste like that" crap.

Choose your nectar (living la vida yerba)

For those who aren't feeling the coffee love or are looking to expand their beverage horizons, there are options. Yerba mate is a Latin American drink made from leaves of the yerba plant and consumed in a hollowed out gourd using a metal filtered straw-like apparatus called a bombilla. It is consumed mainly in Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, and parts of Brazil. Many who drink it report multiple health benefits including improved energy, mental clarity, and whatnot. The beverage is shared, using the same mate gourd and bombilla, among close friends and family. It's a whole bonding experience. You can read more about the traditional ways of serving and drinking mate here and here.

Many brands are available in the U.S. I used to like Pajarito, but my fondness was probably more for the pretty packaging* than the taste of the product. Pajarito is mostly stem and powder, and therefore tastes bitter and tends to clog your bombilla on the first few pours. I have since switched to the superior Cruz de Malta brand, which I recommend for starters. I get mine at Rodman's (5100 Wisconsin Avenue), where they stock at least three or four different brands at any given time in their wonderful "international" foods aisle. You can also get it at Vace's (3315 Connecticut Avenue) and just about any Latin American grocery store in the city. Do not, I repeat, do not buy your yerba mate at Whole Foods.

*True fact: You can make a purse out of an empty yerba mate package. Just reinforce the base with a small piece of cardboard, coat the entire thing with a few layers of varnish, attach a strap using some metal snaps, and voila! You have a post fit for a different blog. Oh wait...

E-Brick

The latest step away from bricks and mortar commerce?
The latest $500 "lifestyle enhancement" Steve Jobs has suckered you into?

It's how you pronounce the name of my little enamel lifesaver.

My Ibrik is the preferred method for making coffee everywhere from Albania to Uganda and Algeria to Afghanistan. Ya'll are going to recognize the drink* it makes as "Turkish Coffee", probably.

Normally on a weekday I'll brew a pot of drip or nice little french-press and on the weekend I'll bust out the nespresso or the hand tamped espresso machine. But I've been moving house for the last six weeks** and it's meant that my many means of caffeination have been sequestered in paper and cardboard.

Now, I haven't gone even 10 hours without coffee since I was 17. I set the coffee maker to go off before I get up and make drip coffee with extra espresso grounds. I'll be damned if a little elbow grease is gonna be what stands between me and good teeth grinding, red-eyed, itchy-palmed case of the jitters***.

I have a two cup Ibrik, so if you've got a different size you can use those math skills your teachers promised would matter later in life and figure out how to adjust this.

• Take 2 heaping scoops of fine ground coffee****
• Take 2 heaping scoops of sugar
• put in in your Ibrik with enough water to come up to the neck
• Put it on the burner on a medium flame (or about 3/4s heat electric) and start stirring with a non conducting spoon like it's your new hobby.*****
• You're going to stir until the coffee sludge boils just to the top of the ibrik but not over. This may take a couple tries but don't worry you're just slow learner.
• Now pull it off the heat and let it cool until the foam goes away and it isn't going �plink plink� ******
• You're going to let it almost boil over twice more at which point it will have a nice light brown crema.
• Pour into two little glasses and serve as hot as you can drink it.

Bear in mind that this is strong enough to use as synthetic atropine. You tea drinkers have been warned.

You can get an Ibrik and the coffee at Shemali's or even sur la table nowadays.
-----------------------------
* some of us would call it a circulatory alternative.
** it should have taken a single weekend but I went from 'sign contract' to 'move in' and forgot the 'planning' and 'pack boxes' steps
*** if you're out there nodding you should feel free to drop by for a cup any time.
**** Brazilian coffee works for this as does a lighter roast of espresso grounds�
***** You will burn your hand if you fail to insulate it. My hand looks like Fire-Marshall Bill sketch.
***** *It's not a scary noise, I promise.

� I like it with cardammom and a mentholated shisha but a big glass of bourbon will also make a good friend for your little buddy.

the caipirinha dialogues

From a recent IM conversation. Pardon our spelling, we plead IM.

Blogger X: We were at the Big Hunt until about 11 and then the strongest of us who hadn't bailed yet went next door to Cafe Citron. Citron is crazy, man. but the music was nice

Blogger Y: you know, I fear I may never actually have been- now that is tragic. I must go forthwith

Blogger X: it's neat, i think they have good caipirinhas (sp?), although i had consumed six glasses of stout so i didn't try anything else after that

Blogger Y: i've never had one- what's in it?

Blogger X: um, i'll have to look it up to be sure... lime, very distinct lime taste, and, um... wow. i dunno. can check online. They're notorious for being more potent than you think they are. it's one of those "proceed with caution"drinks

Blogger Y: hehe, the kind i refuse to procede with caution with and pay for it 2 hours later

Blogger X: 2 tsp granulated Sugar, 1 Lime (8 Wedges), 2 1/2 oz Cachaca. i have no idea what cachaca is. but they're tasty. i dig recipes that i dont understand the ingredients.

Blogger X: here we go: Cacha�a is a Brazilian liquor made from distilled sugar cane juice

Blogger Y: there's only one thing to do- write a paragraph about it for dcfud

Blogger X: sure. maybe we could make it all interactive and people will say where they have had good ones.

Blogger Y: write it baby, write it :)

Blogger X: i shall. i had a good one at the Grill from Ipanema.

Comte Gris Lavande

While it is certainly no substitute for coffee - I too need my morning (and late morning, and afternoon, and late afternoon, and evening ...) jolt - tea is a wonderful thing. So, I was really thrilled when Travis pointed me to a Minneapolis outfit called, with delicious pretense, La Soci�t� du Th�. Also on his recommendation, I ordered the Comte Gris Lavande, or Earl Grey with Lavender.

I drink regular Earl Grey all the time; it's one of my favorites. Soon, my order arrived, the box itself smelled so fantastic that people at my office kept asking what was inside. I took it home, and greedily opened it, to find a fantastically aromatic black sachet of tea.

For as aromatic as the bag was, the leaves inside were more so. I put on my kettle (filled with filtered water, of course!), and waited for the boil, heaping the gorgeous-smelling leaved into my teapot. The kettle wails.

I pour.

I wait.

I wait.

Three-to-five minutes.

I choose four.

I pour, and the tea itself has a lovely odor similar to the teas. The leaves have a powerful aroma, but the tea is subtler. Like the bergamot flavoring all earl greys, lavender is astringent, a bit sharp, and clean tasting. To separate the two on the palette is difficult, but not impossible - and they compliment each other gloriously. Lavender is the dominant flavor, with the bergamot adding its
citrusy hue beneath - almost as if this is a traditional th� lavande, with bergamot added as an afterthought.

I usually drink my earl grey with cream, but I worried about ruining this beautiful infusion with that - with no reason, a splash of half-and-half smoothed the
pique of the lavender, creating a lush, even flavor.

I am so hooked.

La Soci�t� du Th�, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Linkey-and-Drinkey

I cannot resist pointing everyone to Teresa Nielsen Hayden's latest recipe post. I think that this punch should not, under any circumstances, be brewed anytime in the next two weeks and brought to a large new years party somewhere in downtown DC. Under no circumstances at all.

Merlot in a Pyrex

This evening I had the experience of being served merlot at a supposedly reputable restaurant in glasses which were emblazoned with the name of the establishment and partitioned with actual white line markings for the half-glass and full-glass levels. Am I alone in my shock and outrage at this tackiness?

The overall atmosphere at Sette Osteria (Connecticut Ave. and R St.) was reasonably pleasant, and although I did not order a meal, my companions seemed to enjoy their entrees. Nonetheless, I can't seem to get past the "Sette" logo wine glasses with their volume indicators. They might as well have served my wine in a branded one-pint Pyrex measuring cup. What am I missing here? I am eagerly awaiting your responses, hoping someone will enlighten me as to when this became desirable. Thank you.

Rockbottom Brewery: Aptly Named

You�ve just finished the first day at your hill job (or nonprofit, or military tech contract, or whatever other traditional DC position you have just landed). You have spent the day filling out papers, answering vaguely worrying questions (�by the way, you aren�t trying to overthrow the federal government, are you?�), and being photographed for the 15 forms of ID you will need. What you really crave now is�Blue Cheese.

Yes, Blue Cheese will make all your troubles go away, so you take the red line to the Rockbottom Brewery in Bethesda in the hopes of chicken wings and beer. And cheese.

Unfortunately for the federal government, you find the Lumpy Dog Light Lager disappointingly bland and the Raccoon red ale not much better. The chicken wings, albeit simply as a vehicle for the coveted blue cheese, are stingy, the celery is limp, and the Grilled barbeque Pork sandwich tastes distressingly of beans. The sorority-reunion at the table next to you have all ordered merlot despite the name "brewery". To add insult to injury, the price tag runs you $28 plus tip.

You decide to de-stress by falling asleep on your carpet instead. You wake up at 12 because of a wild Tuesday night party upstairs. You laugh hysterically until someone puts you to bed. End of day one.

Picture thanks to http://www.rockbottom.com/

Where the "Top 40" includes Steel Reserve

Did you know that there is a radio show devoted entirely to suds, brewski and cold ones? Depending on the power of your radio (I suggest using your car stereo), you can catch Beer Radio on Baltimore's 105.7 FM from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. on Sundays. Quoth the Sun:

"The show includes interviews with brewers, old beer jingles, reports on fishing and football, and news segments (typical report: "North Carolina is thinking of raising its beer tax by 30 cents.")

There is also occasional political talk, viewed through a frosty mug, of course, such as a recent discussion of which potential Democratic candidates in 2008 would be best to have a beer with. Hillary Rodham Clinton did not fare so well. John Edwards did slightly better."

What about Ted Kennedy, or is he more of a hard alcohol guy?

Drink to Your Health!

Two of my favorite drinks are in the news today for having great health benefits. Orange juice seems to fight a deadly form of childhood cancer.

Green tea, which I love, may be The Perfect (non-alcoholic) Drink. It blocks prostate cancer in a number of ways, fights leukemia, and boosts your memory. Sounds like we should all be drinking more of it!

A tale of two Sakes

Pardon her headline but z�s brain is beating on the insides of her skull with the empty remains of a Hakutsuru Draft Sake bottle. In terms of taste, this stuff is the equivalent of Sprite mixed with soy milk - watery, vaguely cereal-flavored, deceptively drinkable, and in such a cute little bottle that you might miss the 15% alcohol content printed on it.

Do not repeat Z�s mistake- if you are searching for a nontraditional form of sake that wont leave you sobbing on a strange air mattress, head to Uni, A Sushi Place , on 2122 P St. NW during happy hour where you can get sake-tinis for under $5, garnished with cucumber shavings and happiness. Incidentally, if you don�t mind leaving with a vacuum in your wallet, the sushi is tasty and has cool things like mango and mint in it.

If you still don�t believe me or you crave your sake-esqu flavor on the run, the draft stuff can be found at the Connecticut Avenue Liquors just above Dupont circle. It�s hiding coquettishly behind the bigger bottles on the bottom shelf, across from the cashier. Handle with care.

Vodka and Yuppies

Vodka is one of my favorite things: it goes with nearly anything, and the good stuff doesn't cause me hangovers. Must be the Ukrainian blood.

After dinner at Anna Maria's, Frenchie and I went to the Russia House for a drink. She chose the vodka, being a Russophile, and I chose to drink it. Whilst sipping on our selections, we amused ourselves by watching a large table of very, very drunken yuppies make fools of themselves, and commenting on the scene in French, which they clearly did not understand.

Shortly after one skinny loud woman stormed away from the group and out the door, the man she'd been sitting next to announced that he would never let the man across from him set him up on a blind date ever again. The abashed matchmaker then got up to leave as well, and as he stumbled away, his party watched him through the windows offering a play-by-play of his movements to all in the bar. He had about as much trouble with the stairs as they did with English.

Following this, the remaining half of the failed date announced, in what may be a Quote of The Week, that

Love, for me, fluctuates with the real estate market."

I would guess that he (a) works on commission and (b) finds most of his dates through online services more expensive and less dignified than match.com.