Free Iced Coffee TODAY!!!

That's right kids - Today, May 15 between 10 AM and 10 PM you can get a free iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.

We all like free things. We all need coffee. What more need you know?

Food for Good

Remember everyone - today is Dining Out for Life day: going out for lunch or dinner at participating restaurants around DC today gets critical money donated to Food+Friends, an organization which delivers food to people who are too ill to get their own.

It's a great charity, and another excuse to eat out for lunch (and dinner!) is never a bad thing.

Florida Ave. Grill Brings Home Gold

It's probably not the recognition the gourmet gurus following Roberto Donna's brief Iron chef career are looking for, but fans of the Florida Avenue Grill will be thrilled to know that it won a spot in the Details magazine's Best Breakfasts in America list. The reviewers noted the classic, Southern-inspired fare and de rigeur employee sass as winners in the cross-country round-up. I love the place, so this recognition just validates and makes me happy!

Florida Avenue Grill
1100 Florida Ave. NW,
Washington, DC 20009
202-265-1586

Move Over Five Guys. There's a New Burger Around

From the fun gadget and technology website Gizmag.com, here's an invention that may permanently leave a greasy stain the fabric of the Universe: The Cheeseburger in a Can

The Europeans are once again taking the lead in burger technology. How can we as Americans stand by and remain idle while our counterparts across the Pond continue to push the boundaries of the modern meat patty? What was our last major breakthrough, the McDLT? We can't let the Germans show us how to perfect our national food that we so blatantly stole from them!

Somebody should do something about that.

A frugal way to take someone to dinner and give them flowers!

Take a look at the current Restaurant.com promotion.

They are offering 70% off the price of their restaurant certificates w/code COUNTDOWN. $25 certificates end up being $3 w/the discount. In addition to the discount, you may get a $15 deLaFlowers Gift Certificate with your order through 12/31. I've written about their promotions previously, but the certificate for flowers is new.

Make sure to read the restrictions for each certificate.

Cooking Classes at Zengo

I know, I know, you're sick of being told to buy diamonds and Lexuses as Christmas presents. If you really love him, you'll buy him a Lexus SUV with big bow on top! if you really love her, you'll be buying her not one but SEVERAL diamonds arranged from smallest to largest, and asking your small children to pretend they don't know what a wishbone is!

The truth is, if you REALLY love someone, you ought to consider sending them to Zengo for a Latin-Asian fusion cooking class. (No one is paying me to say this, so listen.) These single-session classes, which start in January, will give students hands-on experience with balancing Latin and Asian flavors. They'll learn how to do a proper margarita, which is both elegant in its simplicity and kind of a bitch to get right (so they'll be encouraged to make and drink a LOT of margaritas), and how to roll their own sushi. Rolling sushi was the best part of a highly entertaining and delicious class, and your friend will be so pleased with the way she rolls that she'll walk out there planning a sushi-rolling party, to which you are sure to be invited. Score one for you!

Classes will be held on the last Monday of every month starting in January, from 7 to 9 p.m. at Zengo (781 Seventh Street NW). $64 per person, including tax.

Department of Redundancy Department

British high-end grocery chain Waitrose offers a list of the top 100 moments in food history. While definitely being a bit Anglo-centric, many of their selections would rank similarly here on this side of the pond. Hard to deny the staying power of sandwiches, farming and forks.

Couple of things caught my eye - I had no idea that an Iowan created the automatic bread slicer. I lived in that state for three years, yet they seem more proud of Tom Arnold from Ottumwa and John Wayne of Winterset than Otto Frederick Rohwedder of Davenport. Also, who knew that Piggly Wiggly was the first modern supermarket?

Patient and observant readers will note that this is a 99-item list. Apparently American students aren't the only ones falling behind in math.

Tony Bordain's speaks at Olsson's today

Tony will talk about his book, "No Reservations" at Olsson's Books & Records (202) 638-7610) at 418 Seventh St. NW today at noon.

Every Meal Counts

I have long been a fan of Tyler Cowen's site, so today's talk sounds interesting. A friend passed this email on to me, and I am -of course- sharing it with you...

You are invited to a free book talk on "Every Meal Counts: How to Find the Best Food in Washington, D.C." by Tyler Cowen, author of Discover Your Inner Economist: Use Incentives to Fall in Love, Survive Your Next Meeting, and Motivate Your Dentist, on Tuesday, October 30, 2007, at 6:30 p.m. in the first floor auditorium of the Cleveland Park Branch of the DC Public Library, 3310 Connecticut Ave., N.W.

Mr. Cowen is also the author of an online guide to "Ethnic Dining in Washington, D.C." A book sale and signing courtesy of the Trover Shop will follow the program. Free to the public; no reservations required. For further information, call the Cleveland Park Library at 202/282-3080.

Sprouting

Winter is coming. And if you're anything like me, that means that the color will all drain out of your life, leaving you a sad withered husk of the once-vibrant person you usually are. My most recent solution? Growing sprouts on the kitchen counter. Having something green and growing helps one stave off the SAD. As an added bonus, the quickest sprouts will grow in three days, giving you a much-need boost of almost-instantaneous gratification.

Growing sprouts at home not only gives you the satisfaction of eating them for literally pennies but you can also turn up your nose at the Yes!/Whole Foods/Eastern Market/Giant/Safeway/military/industrial complex.

The pictures show mung beans (59 cents at the Asian Market) which are the same sprouts used in all your favorite pan-Asian stir-fries. Though you can eat them straight up, I prefer to cook with them. If you're looking for something a little more direct-to-the-sandwich, you can sprout alfalfa, brassica (anything in the broccoli family), or mustard. Even the biggest dried legumes can be sprouted, including lentils, dried peas, and dried chick peas. Be sure to pick only the most-complete kernels if you go this route: I had one batch of dried peas go terribly wrong because only about 50% were undamaged enough to actually sprout.

The super-market-beatingest part about this is the drop-dead simplicity. You put in about three minutes of set up time, then 30 seconds a day for a couple of days and mother nature does all the heavy lifting.

First: get yourself a jar. I use a wide-mouthed mason jar because I had one hanging around. That's science. Next, fashion a breathable top that will allow water entry and egress, but still holds your sprouts in. I use cheesecloth, which is perfect since you can just screw the jar lid over it. You are now prepared to buy seeds. On my first-ever attempt, I sprouted alfalfa from a seed envelope I bought at Fragers. Once you've gotten hard core you too can order specialty blends from organic farmers growing happy healthy seeds in California. Part of the fun is buying tablespoons of different random seeds from your local bulk-purchase location and seeing which sprout and how fast.

Once you have the seeds, bung them in the container and soak them in tap water for 8-12 hours. The next morning, drain and rinse them once or twice until the water runs clear. Drain a final time, throw a towel over the container so that no light enters, and run off to do the million other things the day requires. Over the next couple of days repeat the rinse-and-drain cycle once in the morning and once at night.

One day you'll realize that the sprouts are the exact size you want them. Leave them uncovered to green up in the pallid winter sunlight (it doesn't take much light to fire up their little chloroplasts). After that, eat them with abandon. Whatever you don't eat out of hand can be transfered into a baggie and thrown in the fridge. They'll keep for about two weeks I'm told, although mine have never avoided predation so long!

This was written by guest Füddite EJG.

For the Bacontarian in you!

I know there must be plenty of Bacontarians reading DCFUD. For you hearty folks, I would like to draw your attention to one of my favorite t-shirt designs, from Dieselsweeties!

Apparently bacon and eggplant is a good combination - for clothing. :)

The Five Paragraph Bitter Wedding Food Critic

As my lifelong friend Joe drove away with his new bride Kassy on Saturday, so ended my "Season of Taffeta." Four weddings and a bachelor party in Vegas, all compacted in the past seven weekends. Combined with my ongoing project of helping a friend shoot a little indie flick on the Eastern Shore and helping my mom move to Phoenix, Arizona, I haven't had much time to dine the way I'd like. You know...with table service. Servers without nametags and flair. Menus that don't have backlighting and value meals. Without getting smooshed between great aunt Hilda and flatulent uncle Marty at table number 8 asking me "why ain't choo married yet?"

Still, I can't complain too much - there are positives abound with so many weddings. My friends are demonstrating their love and commitment. There's usually a lot of food and drinks. Bridesmaids are usually attractive. Aunt Hilda and uncle Marty reaffirmed my decision to avoid all family reunions. And I learned things that will come in handy should I decide to get married, or put in a bid for that mail order Russian bride.

1) Caterers at a wedding should always have one vegan/vegetarian dish. No matter how carnivoiristic the bride and groom may be, there's always at least one person who won't eat the chicken or the fish. It's a nice gesture, and veggie options are often cheap.

2) Open bars are all well and good, but the bar should not be the only place to get drinks, especially at a reception with lots of young children. The smartest thing I've seen in a while was a "Kid's Drink Stand" where they could mix and match their favorite flavors for juices and waters, and let the adults have the bar to themselves.

3) Wedding cakes may be gorgeous, but they are simply not practical. Tiered cakes can be messy, difficult to move and store, and require a dedicated cake cutter after the initial bride and groom slice. Some people want big pieces of cake, others just want a little bit with extra frosting. To eliminate that hassle, do what Joe and Kassy did, as pictured above: wedding cupcakes and canollis. Minimal mess, easy storage, and ready-made serving sizes.

************************************************************************
The 5PBWC gives 8 Whammies! to the weddings I went to this fall. 2 Whammies! for each groom being level-headed, 2 Whammies! for each bride not morphing into Bridezilla, 2 Whammies! for tasteful bridesmaids' dresses, and 2 Whammies! for each open bar, because, frankly, I wasn't interested in juice.
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Scandinavian Drinks, People, and Music; You Know You Want To Come!

It's time to dance to Abba and drink Icelandic Beer. Where? At Hej Hej, of course.

Join our favorite DJs at Hej Hej tonight, Tuesday, September 25th, for a night of Scandinavian pop & rock.

Where: Gate 54 @ Cafe Saint-Ex
When: 10 PM - close
Cover? No cover!

DJs Natalya and Melissa spin music from Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Finland and Denmark including The Concretes * Shout Out Louds, The Raveonettes * The Knife * Jens Lekman * Peter Bjorn & John * Annie * Bjork * The Hives * Tigerbombs * The Lovekevins * Figurines * and many more.

Drink specials on Viking beer and Reyka vodka all night!

Check out the Hej Hej site at www.hejhejmusic.com and come on out tonight.

We'll see you all there!

You know you want to be the next Myspace...uh...TVFN star!

Cmon...you know you want to upload an audition tape to TVFN's Next Food Network Star Myspace Page!

I wonder if they will like my concept for "Dumpster Diving Cooking"? ;) Ok...maybe not!

Hej Hej: Norwegian Vodka and Swedish Bands

Where are you going tonight? To Hej Hej, of course.

Tonight is a very special Hej Hej with a performance by The Lovekevins from Malmo, Sweden. This is the band's only U.S. show outside New York.

DC 9 (1940 9th St. NW)
Doors: 9:00 PM / 21 + / $8

Drink specials: Vikingfjord vodka

Check out the Hej Hej site at www.hejhejmusic.com and come on out tonight.

And check out all the love they got from the Express today, too.

We'll see you all there!

The Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic vs. Elvis' World

I never thought I had much in common with Lindsay Lohan.

She's a young Hollywood starlet and pop star, better known for her hard-partying, relapses into rehab, ever-changing breast size, spectacular rise and fall, and for showing her birth canal to pretty much every actor, athlete and paprazzi in California. I'm more of a brokedown former disc jockey and comedian who couldn't wait to sell out to Corporate America for a stable paycheck. As far as I know, she's done more drugs than a Rick James' groupie, and the hardest thing I've smoked is turkey. But her song "Me vs. The World" from the Freaky Friday soundtrack speaks to me. Well, it doesn't technically speak because I've never heard it, and couldn't pick it out in a police lineup. I just found the lyrics online, and thought "I had no idea I could relate to young Lindsay's plight."

See, "The World" in my case is Reese's. The loveable brand from our friendly neighbors to the North, Hershey (if not the best corporate citizens), has finally released a limited edition Elvis tribute Reese's Cup - Peanut Butter and Banana Creme. One of his favorite treats was fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. As I have resolved to eat healthier and exercise more, and been doing a fine job of it, these little chocolatey bastards could be my undoing. As a kid, my mom preferred that I ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches, getting at least some vitamins and potassium from the banana slices, benefits absent in most jellies. When mom found these new Elvis cups, she thought it would be nice reminder of my childhood. They're not bad, either, as I was afraid the banana would be too artificial, too overpowering. But the banana flavor is just enough to complement the traditional chocolate/peanut butter balance of a Reese's. One of the few "Limited Editions" that I like.

Plus, this has a picture of Elvis on the package. And it's not like that cop-out Young Elvis versus Old Elvis stamp debacle, either. You can find these with Young Athletic Elvis, Hawaiian Shirt Elvis, and, my favorite, Old Elvis. It's clearly Fat Elvis in all his early 1970s Vegas coked-out jumpsuit glory, maybe not quite as bloated and rambling, but it's clear he's baked... much like Mlle. Lohan.

This limited edition run is hitting stores throughout the region now. Dollar General Stores seem to be a reliable place to find them, though they seem to be allergic to putting a store within the Beltway. If you see them, please share in the comments. Let others find their inner Elvis. Hopefully, Mojo Nixon's vision of Elvis being everywhere can be realized.

****************************************************************************************************************
Elvis Reese's Cups get 18 Whammies!, one for each of The King's U.S. number one hits on the pop singles chart.

Thanks to The Junk Food Blog and Candyblog.
****************************************************************************************************************

The Internet Makes Me Hungry

Seriously. The printers were down at my work today, which pretty much meant I had nothing to do; so I was surfing the internet. And I found many magical things, many horrible things, and many things that really looked delicious. One in particular, but I think my current vague attempt at a diet may also contribute to how strongly it appeals to me.

Chuao Chocolatier's ChocoPod Picante. I mean, seriously: chocolate, Cabernet, caramel, and chilies...yes please! Sadly, I am currently short one (or more) wealthy benefactor(s) who would buy me such delicacies (that whole make a billion dollars as a public health researcher plan has *so* not panned out). Has anyone tried them? Does anyone want to fly me out to California so I can try them in their native habitat?

Skillz on da Grillz

Back in the days of Reaganomics, console televisions and acid-washed jeans, a young comic by the name of Eddie Murphy entertained crowds with his hilarious bit about "Uncle Gus" taking over the family's summer cookout. Many of our younger readers may know Eddie Murphy as the loveable star of such family-friendly, mostly unfunny films like The Nutty Professor and Doctor Doolittle, or as the voice of the plucky sidekick "Donkey" in the Shrek trilogy. But back in those early years, Eddie Murphy was a potty-mouthed smart aleck who dropped more f-bombs than a "Big Lebowski/Pulp Fiction" double feature in an unfortunately-named Austrian town catered by a wonderfully-named Vietnamese restaurant in Del Ray. In Murphy's star-making concert film "Delirious," Eddie's Uncle Gus knows how to start a fire, not with lighter fluid, but with gasoline. He instructs his young nephew to go chop down that tree in lieu of charcoal. Stand back. Mushroom cloud. Roll around in the dirt, Eddie, those flames will go out. Uncle Gus then gets chewed out by Eddie's dad for giving the poor kid 30-degree burns after making a fire large enough to cook brontosaurus burgers. Shortly thereafter, Aunt Bunny fell down the steps, and Uncle Gus's grill mistakes are forgotten.

Most of us are not blessed with a huge backyard to host cookouts in the summer or nephews to cut down trees, and few get the practice needed to get reliable results from the grill. So, much like Jim in American Pie, you've only got once chance with the hot foreign exchange student. Don't blow it. Here are some tips to work a solid grill, using song titles to help you out.

1) "This Fire" - Franz Ferdinand - A charcoal grill can be harder to use than an auctioneer with a hair lip. Step one: Don't be Uncle Gus. Gas is for cars, not cows. When using charcoal, read the specific instructions for the brand you purchased. Burn-in-bags don't need additional starter fluid, and your food will taste like you grilled on the Exxon Valdez if you add some. Most charcoal briquettes need 15 to 30 minutes of soaking in fluid, though some require a little more. Arranging the coals in a small pyramid not only salutes our Mayan and Egyptian ancestors, but allows for the briquettes to get hot enough to ensure a long-lasting fire. Once the coals have been burning for 15 to 20 minutes, you can rearrange the coals with long metal tongs to make a flatter heating surface.

And for the love of Pete, use a long-stem match or wick to light the fire. Countless 3rd-degree burns are caused every year by somebody trying to start a grill using a Zippo and bad reflexes.

2) "Cooking with Gas" - Nation of Ulysses - You don't need to be post-punk or Hank Hill to understand the benefits of propane and propane accessories. Most gas grills have automatic lighters, and you can adjust the temperature with a handy dial. However, many people don’t pay attention to tank maintenance and the condition of the hose. Those should be adjusted before starting a cookout, or else your place could burn down faster than the Alpha Beta house at Adams College.

3) "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes"- Various Artists - Like anybody who's been to a Jimmy Buffett concert, there's all sorts of smoke, and that smoke can change your mood. You can use smoke to change the flavors of your food. Adding some water-soaked mesquite chips to your charcoal can give your food a hearty southwestern flavor, and some hickory chips can give you a taste straight from the hills of Tennessee. If you're fortunate enough to have access to a smoker (the cooking equipment, not some dude with Marlboros), you can make some traditional barbecue by using the indirect heat to slow-cook anything into a delicious state of tenderness and flavor.

4) "Struttin' With Some Barbecue" - Louis Armstrong - Satchmo looked a man who enjoyed his barbecue. Your guests will enjoy yours if keep a check on that temperature. A fire that's too hot will burn the outside of your food while the inside's raw. If you don't have a thermometer, try this technique: hold your hand about six inches over the fire. If you can hold it there for 3 to 4 seconds, you and your fire should be fine. That's about 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Any less than 3 seconds indicates the flame is too hot, so you can just let it burn itself down a bit, or spray some water mist on the coals. Any more than 4 seconds means the flame is too cool, and your food will take a long time to cook.

Just like regular indoor cooking, the less you touch the food, the more flavor it retains. Steaks, burgers, ribs, chops - those should be flipped once or twice tops. Chicken, turkey, game - those can only be flipped once or twice, but I prefer to err on the side of caution with them. Potatoes, corn, eggplant, squash, pineapple - all taste great on the grill, and can give a simple, yet unique touch to your cookout. A brick oven isn't much different than a grill. Both can be used to make fantastic pizzas.

Also, don't use any chemically-treated wood, like firestarter logs or plywood for a cookout. Some of that is treated with arsenic, handy for killing bugs and French generals. Stick with bags of hickory, mesquite or applewood from your local grocery, hardware or barbecue store. Do not use leftover wood from your new deck. Also, don't use your old deck, either.

5) "Hot Sauce" - Thomas Dolby - Those roadside barbecue shacks sell ribs, brisket and pulled meats, and never filets, sirloins or prime ribs. Many of them sell bottles of their sauce and spices. That's because the best barbecue is generally made from the cheapest meats, and a fair amount of seasoning and sauce helps bring out the flavor. I prefer to get sauces and spice rubs that are affiliated with restaurants - Rockland's sauce is much better than any store brand, and most stores in the area carry some products from Stubb's in Austin, Texas; Sticky Fingers from Memphis, Tennessee, or even Gates in Kansas City, Missouri. A good rub and sauce combo from one of these places is a guaranteed home run.

Hope this helps you tap your inner Raichlen.

Gourmet Girls Happy Hour

As if I don't talk your e-ears off about this already: Gourmet Girls is my collective dinner party group. Every month, we gather in one of our kitchens and cook a complicated, multi-course meal together, learning how to prepare each dish in between sips (and sometimes glugs) of wine. (That was us in the Washington
Post a few weeks ago.) If this sounds like fun to you, and you're interested in being a part of a Gourmet Girls group in DC, come to Happy Hour at Ceiba (701 14th Street NW) from 6-8 on Tuesday, June 12th. (Look in the bar, hee. )

Sniffing out happy hours!

Schnozbot is a list of DC Area happy hour specials. It can be searched by area or day of the week. It includes food specials like free paella at La Tasca on Fridays, and the wing nights at Rockbottom on Mondays and Hard Times Cafe on Wednesdays. Some wings would smell good about now! :)

Hej Hej: May 22

Where should you be tomorrow night?

Enjoying a nice Viking beer at D.C.'s best Scandinavian D.J. night, of course.

Check out Hej Hej, DJed by our own DJ Natalya and DCFUD-friend DJ Melissa, who also writes excellent food reviews for the Washington Blade. There will be lots of cool Swedish, Finnish, Norwegian, Danish, and Icelandic music that we've never heard of but is all very good and very dance-able.

And, even better, there will be drink specials on Reyka vodka. How can you say no?

So come to Cafe Saint Ex, downstairs, on Tuesday, May 22 at 10 pm.

We'll be there. You should be, too.

Tricked Out Kitchen Appliances

As a professional chef, I'm affiliated with a number of organizations that send me all sorts of offers. Today I got one that I could not resist posting here. In the past, I've posted articles about how to shop for, use, and get the most out of various kitchen appliances. Today, I found out that there's a growing industry dedicated to making appliances more visually interesting. I thought it might be a good idea to highlight some of these as I find some examples.

I always recommend that people who do a lot of cooking or baking seriously consider buying a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. They're more expensive than other stand mixers, but they weather all sorts of abuse, and will most likely outlive your kitchen. Originally, they were only produced in white and black, but now, they come in all sorts of colours, and sizes. What's the one thing that's missing? Flames. Hey, some people trick out their cars, and flame them out, why not their kitchen appliances? These decals are custom made, and are sold over the Internet. They have a web site, and stores on Amazon and eBay. You know you want it. All the cool kids have one...

Jose Andres Fan club

What excuse do we have for including two Jose Andres posts in a week? The only other item to ever receive this sort of coverage is that delicious yellow packet, Splenda; How do you like that Andres, you're competing with a chemical with a structure similar to DDT.

But down to business. This Sunday:

There will be a viewing party at Jaleo Crystal City on Sunday, April 1, 8 pm. Call (703) 413-8181 for reservations if that's your (artificially sweetened) cup of tea.

Seasoning Cast Iron - So easy your mom can do it

Well, not your mom; she probably uses those '60's aluminum pans. But your Grandma could probably do it. There's a lot your grandma could do that you haven't asked about.

Cast iron is easy to maintain, easy to cook with, and dirt cheap. If you aren't using it it's probably because someone has fed you a line about seasoning it and made it sound hard. What a jerk. You should read this and then go hunt them down like an animal.

Seasoning:

1) To season a cast iron pan rub it down with vegetable oil then wipe up most of the oil. If you're feeling precious I'm sure you could find a reason to use $30/oz Koopaberry oil from the Upper-Goomba highlands. It really doesn't matter what you use. If you don't mind the smoke you can even use butter. (Editor: please note whether your exhaust fan works *before* attempting the aforementioned).

2) Put the pan into your oven at baking temperature ~350 and leave it in for half an hour to 45 minutes. Or an hour. It's not like your landlord's GE Electric stove is gonna melt it.

3-a) Turn off your oven. The pan is now 350 degrees Fahrenheit. You should reach in with both bare hands and pull it out.

3-b) Did you follow step 3a? Really? Hah! When you get back from the burn ward take all your pots and pans and expensive Williams-Sonoma gizmos and give them to the Salvation Army. At least you learned something about
yourself, right?

3-c) Leave the pan in the oven with the door closed until it has cooled down.

4) Rinse your pan, wipe it out, and start cooking.

Until you've got the heavy thick black coating, I'd suggest frying stuff. Bacon, falafel, long-pig, chicken. Once it's nice and thick you can cook pretty much whatever you like though tomatoes and acidy stews or soups seem to take the coating off pretty quick.

Care and maintenence:

It's cast iron. Seriously. People have been using this stuff for 1,500-2,500 years. If you have to stop and think about it, you're doing it wrong.

1) Don't wash it with soap. Use a scrubby sponge and hot water. If it's real crusty boil water in it then scrape at it with a wooden/plastic spatula.

2) If you've got time, before putting it away dry it off by heating it up. Then rub an oily paper towel on it.

3) Be as rough as you like. If you leave it in the sink for a month and it all goes to hell and rusts over just scrub the **** out of it with a scouring pad and some soap until it's clean. Then re-season.

Aluminum sucks, stainless steel sucks, Un-coated copper is bad for you, non-stick is bad for you, and all the copper core pans are ****ing expensive. Cast iron is safe, cheap, and easy to use. Just like your Grandma likes it.

Editor's note: once you start using cast iron and talking about seasoning you will get into fights with people in the opposite use-soap-to-wash/don't-use-soap-to-wash camp as yourself. The editor disagrees with the author on this very topic and feels that a small amount of detergent on a really cruddy pan will work wonderful de-glazing miracles.

Author's note: 2,000 years! Even that racist easily distracted great aunt can use this stuff. Why the over thinking?

This has been a guest blog by WRC, with editorial commentary by EJG.

Blissfull eating

Zen, Vipassana Buddhism, silent and talking meditation, Jewish Renewal, Reform Jewish, Yoga, Hindu, generic New Age, and more... When it comes to spiritual retreat centers, I've been to them all.

And after several hours deep in the transcendent realms, it's amazing how much you start to focus on the one sensual pleasure that's offered up: Food. Here we are withdrawn from the temporal world contemplating the eternal verities, and we're all (at least I'm) going: mantra, mantra, pranayama,downward dog, inner bliss, I wonder what's for lunch?

Most retreat centers are austere places, often financially precarious. Your bed may be a thin mattress on a wooden slab, the plumbing uncertain. But while I'm ready to accommodate physical simplicity, or even outright difficulty, I need that one link to the life of the body and physical satisfaction to stay sane.

I was just a very basic Zen center in New Mexico. On the walls were the rules of retreat: hours for prayer and work, a rule of total silence. Rule # 11: Don't complain about the food to the Roshi. Like they completely know it gets to be an obsession on retreat. And I want to tell you, that center had fantastic food: amazing enchiladas, pasta with homemade pesto, elegant baked eggs and mushroom for breakfast, chocolate chip cookies for dinner. What's to complain about?

But last December I was on silent retreat between Christmas and New Year's at a place where the normal kitchen staff was on vacation. It was steamed greens and brown rice, breakfast, lunch and dinner, with some miso soup thrown in. I'm not kidding. Forget meditation, I was ready to throttle the cooks. We stopped at a convenience store to buy potato chips and sandwiches on the way to the airport. So you never know what you will encounter…although vegetarian is a given.

Here's my advice: bring several chocolate bars so you can be assured your taste buds will get a daily thrill, some salty snack (food is often undersalted tho soy sauce is usually available), and something substantial like a couple of dense power bars to give a sated feeling if the dreaded greens come around again. And if the going get rough, know that you can invariably count on terrific bread no matter what .

This is a guest blog by MHF! Thanks!

Bourdain on The Food Network

From Michael Ruhlman's website, a blast at The Food Network by Anthony Bourdain. The telegenic chef takes a few potshots at the folks on the air at The Food Network. Among the highlights:

PAULA DEEN: I’m reluctant to bash what seems to be a nice old lady. Even if her supporting cast is beginning to look like the Hills Have Eyes--and her food a True Buffet of Horrors. A recent Hawaii show was indistinguishable from an early John Waters film. And the food on a par with the last scene of Pink Flamingos. But I’d like to see her mad. Like her look-alike, Divine, in the classic “Female Trouble.“ Paula Deen on a Baltimore Killing Spree would be something to see. Let her get Rachael in a headlock--and it’s all over.

THAT ACE OF CAKES GUY: Hey…He’s got talent! And...he seems to be a trained chef! And he’s really making food--and selling it in a real business! I think…I like it! If I have one reservation, it’s that I have no idea if the stuff actually TASTES good. It LOOKS really creative and quirky--and I’m interested but…I mean...it’s like construction going on over there from what we’re told and shown. One suspects that the producers don’t want to waste valuable time talking about anything so technical as food--on “Food” Network.

Other than being gripped by the fear that comes from realizing that Paula Deen does indeed resemble Baltimore's most famous transvestite, I'm amazed he didn't comment on any of her recipes. The woman makes a bread pudding with a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and slathers everything in a pound of butter.

She cooks like Elvis ate.

Considering that much of his blog is concerned with the food quality coming from the Food Network, I wonder why he didn't mention a thing about her cooking.

Thanks to the USAToday's Pop Candy blog for the catch!

You know you're a food nerd when...

Have any of your recent menus contained these words:

Basically, have you been to Minibar. If so, today's Achewood has the cultural commentary for you.

New Website for Gastronauts

For those of you who read my articles on Thai cooking and Spanish tapas-making with lust in your hearts: My oft-mentioned "Supper Club" is forming new groups in the DC area, and we're looking for smart, fun foodies to contribute. If you’re interested in getting involved with this cooking/wining/dining organization, check us out at GourmetGirls.org.

Note from the ED- the 'my' here is the lovely Karen - go check it out!

A Thanksgiving Haiku or Two

I call this collection "Odes to a Food Allergy."

the turkey divine
but why did somebody put
mushrooms in stuffing?

and

chop them way too small
`shrooms invisible to eye
make me Shiitake.

Of all the foods to be allergic to, it'd have to be something that can be disguised like an Eastern Bloc spy. Ugh... I practically starved during the portobella boom a few years ago.

And, just to add insult to injury, I attended a weddding Saturday where the fliet mignons were covered in a delightful steak sauce...made of mushrooms. A tell-tale bit of mushroom would have been enough to scare me away to the lemon caper salmon, but no bits of `shroom could be found.

I'm guessing I'd have been a bad Smurf.

Out Of The Deep-Fryer & Into The Frying Pan

After another Thanksgiving, I thought I’d ease everyone back into the daily grind with something unusual for this web site: a culinary op-ed of sorts. Recently, the people in charge of New York City have begun a debate on whether or not to ban trans-fatty acids in restaurants. In order to understand the implications of this, it is necessary to know a little bit about what trans-fatty acids are, and why officials would want to ban them.

Normally, fat comes in four types: saturated, polyunsaturated, monounsaturated, and trans fatty acids. Saturated fat (such as butter, coconut oil, and palm kernel oil) is solid at room temperature, and is generally quite bad for you, in that it has been shown to be correlated with heart disease. Unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature (olive, canola, soybean, corn, and vegetable oils), and while still bad for you, are less bad than saturated fats (although the fat content in your diet should come from unsaturated fats as much as possible).

The trouble is that all the flavour and goodness in various recipes comes from saturated fat. Some enterprising companies have discovered that if they add Hydrogen to an unsaturated fat like vegetable oil, it takes on properties that make it behave like a saturated fat (in terms of taste, texture, and body). These hydrogenated or partially-hydrogenated oils (which are sold as margarine, vegetable “spreads,” oleos, and shortening) are also called trans-fatty acids (or TFA for short).

Recently, authorities have become concerned because of a link between TFA’s and a number of health problems. TFA's have been shown to raise the level of LDL ("bad") cholesterol, while lowering the level of HDL ("good") cholesterol, which leads to an increased risk for heart attack and stroke. Also, there seems to be a correlation between TFA consumption and obesity levels. The federal government, which is in an excellent position to enforce such a ban nationwide, has been silent on this matter, so some municipalities have started to take matters into their own hands. New York City, as the first major city to consider this, is being watched very carefully. Fast-food restaurant chains such as McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's, worried about potential drops in profit margins, have already (supposedly) started investigating alternatives for their fried foods.The proposed ban would only encompass restaurants. People would still be able to purchase margarine, shortening, etc. for home use.

As a professional chef, I am opposed to this sort of regulation for two reasons. First is because it’s badly written legislation that unfairly targets restaurants. Only restaurants would be subject to a ban on ingredients that are otherwise perfectly legal to use. Restaurants generally use a shortening in their deep fryers because it’s cheaper to use, and it doesn’t have to be changed as often as oil (and believe me, changing the oil in a commercial deep-fryer is not trivial). As such, the practical implication of this ban would be to quadruple the cost of anything fried.

The second reason I am opposed to this ban is because I really believe that it is not for a government to regulate what I eat. I am an adult, and I should decide what level of risk I’m comfortable with. I understand that there is a large amount of obesity in our society, but at the end of the day, people are responsible for their own diets, and for their level of activity (or lack thereof). What will happen if this ban comes to pass is that restaurants will most likely revert to using saturated fats such as butter, which is why the American Heart Association does not support the ban as it is currently written.

This sort of regulation first started in the late 1970’s when officials were concerned about Peking duck (which requires that the duck is hung to dry for half a day). It then moved to artisanal sausages and salumerias, and now to TFA’s. As a result, a lot of old-style artisan work is being lost. I admire the New York City government’s intentions, however the practical implications would be to shield people from one danger, while exposing people to another. Where does this end? If they come after Five Guys next, then my friends, the terrorists have truly won.

Got an opinion? Post a comment, or send an e-mail to dcfud.writers@gmail.com. For more information on TFA's and their health implications, check out the American Heart Association's web site.

Le Poisson, Le Poisson!

As I mentioned before, the boy and I attended a "Cooking for Two" class at L'Academie de Cuisine recently, which was my anniversary present. (He's good, huh? Make your girlfriend a) squeal with excitement AND b) a better cook!) I chose the seafood-themed class, as I am a sucker for ...well, anything with suckers, and the menu looked unbeatable: clams casino, honey-cured grilled salmon steaks, and a crab and corn chowder. Oh, and FLAN, because fish belongs everywhere except dessert. Yes, you can quote me on that.

Now, L'Academie runs a professional school, but we had signed up for the recreational one, so we stroll in to the chem-labish classroom at the Bethesda location right at the appointed time, expecting a relaxed evening of chopping and stirring and savoring lovely smells like we do at home. FYI for anyone planning to sign up for a class there: "recreational" is not the same as "relaxing." Oh, no.

Don't get me wrong. You will absolutely love it, but you'll be lucky to keep up with the instructor for the first hour of the three-hour class. She will show you how to stuff a clam (with the aforementioned compound butter), and you had better do it NOW, because soon as she's done, she's showing your partner how to "walk" a knife through an onion. Not that she was rude about it; she just worked fast and wanted us to learn as much as we could. (One small problem--if you don't do exactly as the instructor says, an assistant may come over and do it for you. I practically had to wrestle my knife out the hands of a very sweet woman who started out showing me how big the pieces of celeriac should be, and then tried to chop all my root vegetables for me.)

After the first hour or so everything slows down, the assistants pour the wine, and THEN you get to relax and savor lovely smells (for awhile, until the next big rush). They will do some things for you, but these were all small things that would have been impractical in large groups but easy enough in your own kitchen (for instance, we didn't get to mix our own marinades for the salmon steaks). Everything else is done at your workstation by you and your partner, including, of course, the eating. I think that was most people's favorite part, but mine was all the actual cooking, with the boy, of course. Chop! Stuff! Grill! Roast! Do dates get any better than this? I doubt it. (Unless you stuff them with gorgonzola.)

Beyond the Matzo

Jew Food! It ain't just matzo balls and ...more matzoh! And while that doesn't discount the possibility that it may be just latkes, Claudia Roden thinks otherwise. And to prove it, she's speaking (and possibly demo-ing?) at the DC JCC about her latest book Arabesque: A Taste of Morocco, Turkey, and Lebanon.

Disclaimer: I was given a copy of her lovely "The Book of Jewish Food" when I moved into my first apartment. I still get all faklempt thinking about it. So.

Claudia Roden on Cuisine and Culture
Tuesday, November 14th, 7:30pm
Washington DCJCC (16th and Q st., NW)
For tickets, see nextbook.org or call 888-219-5222.

Political Bourdain

Chatting one day with Baylen Linnekin, founder of the painfully irreverent blog To The People, we discovered our mutual admiration for chef-writer-traveller extraordinaire Anthony Bourdain. Baylen immediately began to make an impassioned case that Bourdain is the best popular example of someone living a libertarian lifestyle today. It made sense. Bourdain is a libertine who supports open borders, praises globalization, and advocates personal choice whether it comes to tobacco, fois gras, or pot. Now I understood why I liked Bourdain so much.

"Baylen," I said, "you should write an article on this. Heck, Bourdain's on book tour--shouldn't be to hard to score an interview with him." At that my friend's fanboy eyes widened. Fast-forward three months and here's Baylen's piece (along with audio of their 40-minute conversation) in the new issue of Doublethink, a D.C.-based print quarterly I work with.

The verdict? Like a lot of folks, Bourdain's a libertarian even if he doesn't know it yet.

This post is by Guest Blogger Jerry Brito. Thanks!

Restaurants, discounts, and restrictions...oh my!