Brunch Musings

By Andrew Kohn

I'm in love with brunch - that is, every other day except the traditional Sunday feast. Why must I wait until 2:00 to eat? And who ever thought it was a good idea to drink juiced-down cheap champagne instead of a heartier, potentially infused, vodka drink? I'm over it! Simply put, brunch is breakfast for lunch. Don't get me wrong; this is a meal plan I can believe in! I'm also a huge advocate of breakfast for dinner. But why do we limit this culinary event to once a week? Every human being I've ever met - yes, all of them - loves breakfast food at any time of day. (And usually more for lunch or dinner that for their actual breakfast.)

Brunch is an excuse for weak people to eat foods they really crave at the time most socially acceptable to their peers. I'm here to tell you that it's ok to eat omelets for dinner. It's ok to put poached eggs on your dinner salad. And it's perfectly acceptable to use your waffle iron on a Wednesday afternoon. It won't blow up. Join me as I celebrate freedom from traditional food roles. Breathe deeply, grab your whisk, and show that Large Brown Cage-free Omega-3 doped egg who's the boss.

Here is a "brunch" recipe from our friends at Bon Appetit magazine. If you follow it word for word, it's probably wonderful. With a few slight modifications, it becomes delicious! This sausage, roasted red pepper, and spinach torta rustica works well with vegetarian sausage (my hands were tied because of a guest) and with any commonsense cheese substitute. The baguette transforms into a quasi-French toast - a quality I'm eager to explore further on my next go-around. Cook it up tonight and enjoy! The brotherhood of breakfast lovers fully supports you and your brave decision.

Stir the Gumbo!

By my good friend, Guest Blogger Wayne Manigo AKA Wayneman. Wayne is on the left in the photo.

There are some musicians that make history by being masters at their craft. They might practice for hours each day, until they hit the pinnacle of success. Other may decide on combining other talents with their god given gift. Enter Bill Wharton (aka The Sauce Boss) and his band "The Ingredients." His unique style of playing the blues is combined by his love and desire for "Gumbo." "Uncle Bill" (I'm the only fan who calls him that) has a talent to make a gumbo that will "Knock your Aunt Connie's socks off!" This has been his signature style since 1990.

Once the Sauce Boss hits the stage, he's a magic man in motion. He's start by making the "holy trinity" of celery, onions, and green peppers for the "rue" on stage. As he continues to cook, the Sauce Boss will perform some of the finest blues in all the land. These are old school blues jams inspired by the likes of Robert Johnson, Duane Allman, Muddy Waters, and ZZ Top. As the band plays the blues into the wee hours, the Sauce Boss demands audience participation by inviting everyone to come onstage and "Stir the gumbo!" At the end of the night...the entire audience eats gumbo for free!

The first time I met "Uncle Bill" was nine years ago in his hometown of Tallahassee. I walked into this establishment named Bullwinkle's, which was voted best college bar by Playboy magazine. I couldn't believe what my senses were telling me! Was that the smell of gumbo coming from their Tikki bar? And who's that crazy guy with the chef's outfit playing the guitar?" By the end of the evening, I was dancing, singing, and sweating like I've never done before. Once the set is complete, "Uncle Bill" served this fabulous gumbo to the masses - free of charge.

I became a fan of "Bill Wharton and the Ingredients" on the spot! The Sauce Boss is so well known for his gumbo that it inspired Mr. Jimmy Buffet to pen the tune "I Will Play For Gumbo." He's been mentioned in the "Lee's Brother's Southern Cookbook" and they stated "When he comes to your town, you don't want to miss this blues and gumbo combination. "Uncle Bill" provides the Sauce Boss Gumbo Recipe for is gumbo on his website, so you can duplicate it at home. I make it each year at my annual pot luck prior to attending his annual concert at Madam's Organ.

It would be a crime not to mention the charity work the 'Sauce Boss' has done with his nonprofit organization " Planet Gumbo." This non-profit was created by Bill Wharton in Nov 2002 to help everyone understand the trials and tribulations of the homeless. His band continues to perform benefit concerts each year to raise money and awareness. By the end of time, The Sauce Boss would have spread his message for love, happiness, and helping other using gumbo and the blues. Let's eat!

Bill Wharton is playing at Madam's Organ at 9pm tomorrow (4/14).

I juice, therefore I am.

By Guest Blogger Andrew Kohn.

I have a confession to make and it's not a pretty one; I've fallen prey to the juicing craze. Once only reserved for the body-builder or new age hippie, juicing has now swept across America, picking up housewives in Salt Lake City, mixologists in New York City, and every Oprah watcher in-between. Isolated in my little kitchen, I thought I was immune to this tornado until the day I was re-gifted a juicer. No spinach, carrot, kale, or cranberry has been safe since.

But the real question is, why do I juice? Leafy greens produce about as much liquid as they look like they would, and you can only get so much out of a chunk of ginger. Sure, I could just use celery and cucumber, but I require flavor. Oprah's green juice recipe isn't too shabby, and if it's good enough for Oprah...but I also need some variation. And undoubtedly, there's some hidden team that produces the glass of juice to her majesty sans the mess that naturally follows a juicing session.

One problem is that doesn't keep for long. Some pulp will invariably make it into the glass. Let it stand for a few minutes and the strata begin to appear. The stages of juicing are revealed - the actual liquid, the fine sediment that successfully navigated through the sieve, and the foamy vegetable meringue that rests like whipped cream on top of the entire concoction. Stir that baby up and take a sip. Delicious. Don't stir it up - well, you're re-paid for your lazy attitude. I will admit there is nothing lazy, however, about my juicing. Freshly prepared every morning, it's not the smell of bacon that wakes up the house but the jarring buzz of parsley meeting a cruel fate.

You're mission, if you choose to accept, is to juice. The machines can be reasonable - instead of a morning $3.50 latte, buy the juicer and feed it some veggies. They're also staples at garage sales across the country - but don't let that deter you. Those people were quitters! And you're a winner! I bet you'll feel better and maybe even shed a few extra pounds in the process. Experiment with different flavors and compost the leftover vegetable pulp. Fresh juice has numerous health benefits , including an increase in metabolism and a preventative against cancer and heart disease.

I freely admit I've bought into the craze, sipped the proverbial carrot-ade, and wonder where I'll go next?! Hummus instead of mayonnaise? Gluten-free pumpkin seed toast instead of my English muffin? Carob chips instead of Hershey's! Now let's not get carried away. My bunker has been reinforced against those tornados and my pantry is fully stocked with provisions!

Do you know where to get some good juice in town? Please email a comment to dcfud.writers@gmail.com,and after a healthy inspection I'll report back!

Köttbullar and other observations

By Guest Blogger: Andrew Kohn

Much has been written about the now infamous Köttbullar, known to many as simply the IKEA Swedish meatball. Both chewy and light, these little balls are smothered in a brown cream sauce and served with potatoes and a generous glop of lingonberry preserves. Loved by many, hated by some, these meatballs are frozen and can be purchased at the College Park IKEA in Maryland - a classier option than sneaking in Tupperware and packing them up from the very American high school-like cafeteria located on the second floor. For those of you with the true Swedish spirit, however, pop in a CD by The Hives (ABBA may prove too overwhelming), roll up your H&M sleeves, and dive headfirst into the original recipe. (Be warned that a serving of these little beasties (6) is 210 calories and contain 13 grams of fat - 5 of which are saturated. In the cafeteria, a regular meatball meal sees 15 spooned onto your plate.)

I've heard of people who will drive to IKEA first for these meatballs and second for the furniture. These are the same people who can tell me that Wednesday is rib night (a Scandinavian recipe?) and that it gets crowded quickly so one should get there early. I can't help but wonder, no matter how delicious they are, if these meatballs are a true representation of Swedish food or just Scandinavian-style fast food. Have we bought into the concept of genuineness because it's foreign and cheap or because they are, in fact, really good representations of the food? Probably, in the end, it's a little of both.

Next time I'm in the area, however, and looking to add to my ever-expanding cheap wine glass collection or searching for the elusive EKTORP, I think maybe I'll stop by one of the many pupuserias I pass along the way and save the meatballs for another day. Because when all is said and done, there is no Sven or Helga spooning these delights from the steam tray and not one sign of the reindeer or herring munched on daily from Stockholm to Santa's Shack. There are plenty of international foods in our region hand-made by those immigrants who now call our nation home. Let us dare to drop the frozen import from our fork and instead pick-up the fresh creation of a chef who prepares his meals from scratch on a daily basis.

Now don't get me wrong, I dare not suggest a boycott of the Swedish meatball - cocktail parties and IKEAS the world over would be less without them. But as we chase these delights down with a swig of lingonberry soda, let us not forget there is a world full of culinary surprises that extends well beyond those cardboard covered aisles. And who knows, if you explore a little, you may even discover a new aesthetic for your home in the process!

Bacony Apple-Celery Compote

If you're at all like me, you often find yourself with odds and ends in the kitchen - ingredients from something else which, while not needed for said something else, will indeed go bad and make you feel shamefully wasteful if they do. Also, you probably like having tasty condiments around with which you can spruce up any drab leftovers of the already-cooked variety. I had just such a situation recently, and ended up making something surprisingly delicious from it.

My odds and ends:

1 Fuji apple, still crisp but on the verge of going soft
2 stalks of celery, which I refuse to refrigerate because it kills the flavor and so they must be used ASAP
1/3 of a yellow onion, also unrefrigerated, left from making something else
3 strips bacon, and why would you waste that?

I always keep on hand, and thus had: cloves, sugar, flour, white pepper, olive oil, cider vinegar and water.

I diced the onion, and sliced the celery (not too thin!), and put these in a saute pan over medium heat to let them begin to caramelize. While that was happening, I made sauce.

I added two pinches of white pepper, a teaspoon of sugar, three cloves, and 1 tsp olive oil to a pyrex glass. I then removed a few pieces of part-cooked celery and onion from the pan, and added them to the glass as well. I covered it all with 2 tbs cider vinegar and 1 cup boiling water, beating in 1 heaping teaspoon of flour.

With that all together, I diced my apple and cut up the bacon into little bits. This I added to my pan once the onions and celery were about 2/3 done. When the apples were beginning to soften and the bacon had maybe half cooked, I upped the heat to high and stirred in my sauce mixture, mixing for about a minute.

When the mixture was all bubbling and hot, I put the heat back to medium-low, and let it reduce until nice and thick, like a compote.

I ate this plain over leftover brown rice, which was more delicious than I'd expected, and will be making it again to put on pork chops, grilled tuna, or, for that matter, more rice.

Adding raisins (sultanas?) instead of the sugar might be a good future variation, as might be adding allspice, perhaps in place of the cloves. But, just this way, it is bloody delicious!

Awesome Tofu, Bloody Simple

Tofu gets a bad rap. Worse yet, it also gets abused so frequently that one can understand why - tofu is not (a) a substitute for meat (b) a substitute for eggs, (c) a substitute for anything else, or (d) particularly forgiving. Treating tofu like the good little flavor-sponge it is can yield tasty results, but sometimes it's fun to take it in a different direction entirely. This ridiculously simple (but, alas, not very quick) recipe is great for any tofu you'd like to use as a meal on its own, or for incorporation into other dishes as a side, texture, or whatever. The sauce and egg steps are optional, but make a delicious meal.

What to do:

Cube a block of extra firm tofu (at room temperature), and dice a small shallot.

This will probably only work in a very well seasoned cast-iron pan, so get one heating on high. Fry the shallot (don't add any oil unless you absolutely can't avoid it). Now, reduce the heat to medium-low and add the tofu so that it all lays flat on the pan.

Leave that alone for about five minutes, and make sauce:

Add about 2 tbs. Bragg's (soy sauce might work too), some sriracha, a couple splashes of oil, and a quarter cup of water (or stock) to a glass. Grind in a bit of coriander and some mustard seed. Stir like hell.

Now, toss your tofu around so that it's all been flipped - what was on top is now touching the pan. Leave it another five minutes or so and repeat, except this time do a half-flip, so the sides get some heat. And, again. 4 of the cubes' eight sides should be nice and brown. Stir your sauce again, and toss it in, turning the heat back up to high. Stir the tofu around in the sauce, and let it reduce away (this shouldn't take very long at all).

Now, remove the tofu to a bowl, and add a bit more oil to the pan. Crack your egg and fry it up to your preferred texture (I suggest a runny yolk, it works nicely). Serve the tofu with pickled tindora and the egg. Delicious and healthy!!!

Caramelized Onion Quiche with Potato Crust

Here is an article from Guest Blogger: The Slapdash Sewist. The original entry is from February and is located here and includes step-by-step pictures. The lovely blogger in question and I were eating rice crispy treats in Teasm recently and she graciously offered us one of her recipes.

-JAY
----------------------------------------

Quiche is an easy (though not quite quick because of the long cooking time) dish for a satisfying brunch, and you can make it in almost infinite variations. Here's one of them.

Caramelized Onion Quiche with Potato Crust

3-4 medium sized red potatoes
Medium onion
Swiss Cheese
Eggs
Cottage Cheese
Milk
Thyme
Ground Bay Leaf
Salt
Pepper
Cayenne Pepper

1. Slice the potatoes very thinly, about 1/8 inch. I use my mandoline for this. No need to peel. Place in cold water on the stove and when it comes to a boil set the timer for four minutes. This will parboil the potatoes to make sure they are not crunchy when the quiche comes out of the oven. Drain. When cool enough to handle, oil your pie pan and layer the potato slices to form a crust.

2. Thinly slice an onion. I used the 1/4" setting on my mandoline for this. Heat a pan over medium heat and when heated pour in some olive oil and add the onion. Saute until it turns golden almost to brown. Spread the caramelized onions over the potato crust.

3. Grate cheese over the onions. I like to use Swiss cheese because it has a strong flavor that stands up to the other ingredients.

4. Mix up the filling. For this 9 inch pie I used 3 eggs plus the white of an egg I had leftover from another recipe, about half the container of cottage cheese (1 cup), and about half a cup of milk. There's really no need to measure, just make it liquid but not soupy. Use herbs and spices to your liking. For this one I used thyme, ground bay leaf (it's Badia brand from the Hispanic foods section), salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper. I normally wouldn't add salt, but I accidentally bought no-salt-added cottage cheese. If I had made spinach quiche, I would have used basil and oregano. Mushroom would have been thyme and sage. Pour the filling over the crust, onions, and cheese. Don't get too ambitious in how much filling you make, because it will puff up during cooking and could overrun the pan if you've filled it to the very top.

5. Bake at 350 for 40-50 minutes, until it is firm in the center and the top is beginning to brown. The outer potatoes will be very dark and crispy (but not burnt). If you had any potato rounds leftover, toss them in olive oil, place on a baking sheet in a single layer, sprinkle with salt, and throw them in the oven with the quiche for some oven potato chips.

And you have a quiche! Serve warm, tepid, or cold. I prefer warm, but I don't like cold foods. I made this the night before and refrigerated when it was cooled. To serve, I cut two slices, grated a little extra cheese over the top, and heated in a 200 degree (Farenheit) toaster oven until warm. Yum!

Delicious Living

Delicious Living is a free magazine that is distributed at Teaism. The magazine's tagline is "Real food - Natural Health - Green Planet" and it features some good recipes.

This month, they have recipes for 5 exotic sounding rice dishes and a few winter salads.

Previously, they printed this recipe for spicy toasted almonds. You know this stuff is addictive...so expect the FDA to ban it soon. When I make these almonds, I use Hungarian sweet paprika and a combination of orange rind and mixed color peppercorns, which I grind in a peppermill.

Inauguration Day Survival Food

January 20th is less than a week away, and DC food bloggers are thinking about Inauguration Day food. Chowhound readers want breakfast and lunch, Metromix and Express Night Out anticipate ceremonial starvation, and many restaurants are offering specials on the four-day-long weekend holiday.

Nobody knows how many people will pack Washington, or how easy it will be to move around by Metro. No reputable forecasters are predicting the weather yet, but assume it will be cold. DC temperatures are normally between 25 and 45 degrees Fahrenheit (-4 and 7 Celsius) on Inauguration Day, but can get colder. Bear in mind that it snowed 10 inches during Taft's inauguration, and that was in March.

Our advice: Plan for cold and lots of walking; dress and eat accordingly. Wear hiking boots. Eat congee.

DC's Chinatown (or "China Block") is close to the Pennsylvania Avenue parade route and the Mall. Full Kee, while short on elegance, is expeditious and economical. As veterans of two decades of Washington's outdoor MLK Holiday events, we strongly recommend a traditional Chinese breakfast or brunch of Full Kee's congee to ward off January's chill.

Congee, or jook, is hot rice porridge with savory goodies added. Seen those videos of Chinese construction workers climbing swaying scaffolds of bamboo, carrying cinder blocks hundreds of high-rising feet in the air? This is what they had for breakfast. You'll need energy to get through Inauguration Day, too.

Full Kee is a DC institution, and is likely to be busy on the 20th. We hear that Jackey Cafe serves congee, but haven't been there ourselves. Noodle house Chinatown Express (which you know we love) and fave eatery Eat First are said to serve congee, but we usually nosh other goodies there. We'll list other Chinatown or downtown congee outlets here as our neighbors supply the information -- check back for updates. If you want to fortify yourself earlier, cook up congee or jook at home along these lines:

Allrecipes.com

Bitten

eatWashington

Epicurious

Saveur

Full Kee
509 H Street, NW
Washington, D.C. 20001
(202) 371.2233

Jackey Cafe
611 H St NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 408-8115

Chinatown Express
746 6th St NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 638-0424

Eat First Restaurant
609 H St NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 289-1703

The preceding post was submitted by guest blogger Mike Licht. His original entry may be found here. Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

More Ways to Turn Orange

As has been made pretty clear in the past, I really love pumpkin. We're nearing the end of pumpkin season, so here's another great (and very simple) vegan dinner featuring those wonderful gourds. It's also an all-orange meal.

You'll need:
2 sweet potatoes
1 medium pie pumpkin
Ginger
Mustard seed (optional)
Cider Vinegar
Bragg's (or light soy sauce)
Olive oil

Cut up and seed your pumpkin, and peel your potato. Steam them in your microwave until they are soft (about 5 minutes for the potato and 15-20 for the pumpkin, unless you peel it first then less). If you didn't already scoop the pumpkin from its shell, let it cool some and do that.

While those are cooking, mix your olive oil and cider vinegar in a glass - about 1/3 cup each. Mince as much ginger as you want in as well, and grind in a little bit of mustard. Add a splash of Bragg's/soy, and maybe some white pepper if the mood strikes you. Emulsify the crap out of this.

Roughly mash your potato and pumpkin in a glass bowl. Now, beat in your dressing, and either (a) serve hot, or (b) chill and serve cold like potato salad.

I like it cold, but either way you've got a filling, delicious, and vegan dish loaded with orange goodness (vitamin A) and a nice sharp kick. Adding fresh Serrano peppers probably wouldn't hurt either.

Cou-Cou

It's been a while since Thanksgiving, and your leftover stuffing's gone, leaving you craving a delicious starchy new form of starchy goodness for your plate. Here's a really delicious suggestion.

This classic Bajan (that's Barbados, kiddies, not Mexico) dish might be best described as 'tropical grits,' but that misses the point. Cou-cou is a wonderful foil for stronger-flavored foods like salt fish or grilled meat at any meal, or as a dish on its own if you like. It's pretty good with a fried egg and hot sauce on top too.

You'll need:

About 2 cups yellow (course) corn meal
About 3/4 lb. fresh okra, cleaned and cut
1 can of cocnut milk
Water
Salt, pepper, and any other spice you like
Butter

Bring about 3 cups of water to a boil in a saucepan, add salt, and add your okra. Cook that about 8 minutes, or until it's almost soft enough for you, and use a slotted spoon to remove the okra to a bowl. Pour off half of the water, and return the rest to a boil. Now, beat in your cornmeal, making sure it gets all nice and wet. Once it is, begin beating in your coconut milk, plus another cup or so of water (or more milk if you prefer a stronger flavor). Mix in your spices, cover the saucepan, and cook for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. The cou-cou is done when a wooden spoon stands up when placed in the middle of the pot.

During cooking you may want to adjust quantities of milk, water, or even add more cornmeal ... you can do that, but be careful that you don't get dry patches or a soupy mix - that's no fun! You can change up the flavor by adjusting how much coconut you use, and which and how much spice. Adding allspice might be tasty, or maybe try some herbs.

Serve right away, and store leftovers in tupperware in the fridge. To reheat, add a little bit of water and microwave gently.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll

Another year, another opportunity to stuff ourselves silly while engaging in time-honored family bickering. I'm not going home this year, so I get to skip (most some a bit of) the bickering, but I still fully intend to eat unreasonable quantities of food. Thing is, I'm being very lazy and not making anything particularly novel this year. So, I figure this is a good time to remind us all of the many wonderful Thanksgiving-themed dishes we've had at DCFüd over the years.

For our first Thanksgiving, ZAF taught us how to be stronger, better people by properly whipping chocolate into shape - shapeless-in-a-bowl shape, to be precise, with her orange-tinged chocolate mousse.

Next, in 2005 it was discovered that some fools don't like turkey. Abetting this horror was Füd alum TCD, who shared some very fancy vegetarian options, puff pastry and all. Just because they're delicious doesn't mean they're a turkey substitute! Shortly thereafter I shared my pecan pie recipe, which I may well be making again this year.

2006 was the year Ray shared insight into his family's possibly demonic celebratory habits, and offered a survival guide for those perhaps similarly condemned, including turkey-cooking guides and alternatives to actually doing any work, or, if your family is like mine and would shun you for not cooking "normal" food, talking to your crazy relatives at all.

In 2007, I shared yet another secret to my record-breaking failure to look like Kate Moss: a fabulous pumpkin-eggnog bread pudding, which is guarantee to make everyone at your table immensely happy. We also had a tasty (and very healthy!) fall pasta, which could serve as a nice accompaniment to any Thanksgiving feast.

And already this year - distressingly out of season but what the hell - YDB taught us how to definitely NOT deep-fry a turkey. If you really must have fried bird this year, try DCist's instructions first. Unless you're evil, in which case just use YDB's.

Pumpkin Tacos and Desperation

This is a great, extremely simple fall dish, which requires very little attention while cooking, so you can pay attention to that delicious-looking vegetarian (or omnivore) you duped into coming for dinner. You'll need:

1 medium pie pumpkin
1 (or more) Serrano pepper
1 medium bell pepper
1/2 a yellow squash
1 medium scallion
2 cloves garlic
Oil
Light soy sauce
White wine
Flour tortillas
Parmesan cheese
A date (that you're not paying)

Before your date arrives, cut your pumpkin into quarters, remove the seeds (roast separately if you like), and roast it in the oven until about 3/4 done - some char, but still pretty firm. Let it cool while you dice your pepper, squash, scallions, and garlic. It's still not cool enough yet; you might as well go take a shower so that you don't stink so foully.

By the time your intended victim arrives, the pumpkin should be cool enough, so peel and cube it. You should probably pour drinks now too. You need all the help you can get.

Back in the kitchen, heat up a few tablespoons of oil in a large sauce pan on high, and set a sautée pan on another burner at medium heat with a splash of oil. Take time to make clever conversation. When the oil is very hot, add your Serranos and 3/4 of the scallions, frying for about 30 seconds. When your spices have fried enough, add half as much soy sauce as you added oil, letting all that reduce for another 30 seconds or so, and tossing some garlic into your sautée pan.

Now, add your bell pepper and squash, tossing briefly to get oil and garlic all over. Add your pumpkin to the large pan and put a loose-fitting lid on each vessel. Spend five minutes cleaning your workspace, you sloppy bastard: your date will be impressed with your conscientiousness. After that stir each of your dishes a few times and re-cover them. Use five more minutes to explain the videos you forgot to hide.

Come back to stir the pumpkin, and toss the remaining scallions in with the squash and peppers. Go pour more drinks and glare longingly for three minutes, then spend two more plating a couple of tortillas and sprinkling them with grated parmesan. The squash and peppers should be nice and caramelized now, so remove them to a bowl. Stir the pumpkin again and spend however much more time it needs to set the table. Make clever conversation the whole time, but remember to be yourself (unless you're insufferable...ok, just be someone else).

When the pumpkin is nice and tender and falling apart, it's done. Put it on your tortillas with some squash and pepper mix and then, while those relax and melt the cheese for a bit, deglaze your pumpkin pan with some white wine. The deglazing liquid makes a good sauce base, but really you're only doing this to impress your date. Make sure the plume of steam is visible.

Serve your tacos with a basic salad in a vinegary dressing and a boutique beer. Also, make sure that your date drinks a lot, and you both have a breath-cleansing dessert.

Beef Carbonnade For Dummies

This article is from Guest Blogger Wendy Stengel.

Thanks for the great cold weather recipe Wendy. It is actually on the chilly side today. The photo is from the Library of Congress. Thanks Library of Congress!

-JAY
-----------------------------

There are two versions of this recipe: the one for people who are used to cooking and recipe reading, and the one for people who are cooking challenged and want a step by step that really is a step by step.

The Short Version:

Caramelize 3-4 onions. Brown 3 lbs cubed beef. Deglaze with 12 oz beer. Add 8 oz. beef stock. Cover, cook at 350 for 3.5 hours. Stir in thyme. Serve over buttered egg noodles.

The "Cooking Challenged" Version:
Preheat your oven: 350 deg. F.

Caramelize 3-4 onions. Which means....
Slice up 3-4 onions. Put them in a COLD big skillet (don't use non-stick, unless that's all you have) on the stove top. Turn the heat to medium low. Stir OCCASIONALLY. Like, every 5 minutes for the first 15 minutes. Don't stir too often. We're trying to develop a nice brown caramelly onion, and that will mean some brown stuff on the bottom of the pan, too. When you stir, the onions will pick up the brown stuff on the bottom of the pan. If things start sticking, you can add oil, about 1 tsp at a time, up to about a tablespoon or two. The whole process should take AT LEAST 20 minutes. If it's been 20 minutes, and they're not all brown and sweet and complex, turn up your heat some. ;-) How do you know they're done? They're brown, and they taste sweet and complex. Scoop the onions into an oven proof stew pot, casserole, or Dutch oven (that has a lid).

Brown 3 lbs cubed beef. Which means....
Get 3 lbs of beef, and cut it into half inch or inch cubes (what kind of beef? Round or Chuck. Beware "stew meat".). Season with salt and pepper....don't be shy. This is the only salt and pepper we're putting in the whole dish. I go by feel, but I think it was prob. 2 Tbls salt and 1 Tbls pepper. Toss the cubes in 3 Tbls flour--should lightly coat all pieces, all sides. IN THE SAME SKILLET YOU COOKED THE ONIONS, add 1 Tbls oil, and heat to medium-high. Put in your beef...you'll probably have to do it in batches, because you do NOT want to stack or squish your meat in the pan. Flip or turn your cubes as they get brown. The bottom of your pan is going to get GROSS. Brown, gunky, icky. THIS IS GOOD. If things start sticking, add a little more oil. As they get all browned on all sides, transfer them to the stewpot/casserole/Dutch oven. Keep going until you're all done....

Deglaze your pan with 12 oz dark beer. Which means....
All that gook on your pan? We're going to scrape it up. Pour a bottle of dark beer (Think German or Belgian in style...I used a Wisconsin "Bavaria" beer) into your skillet, which is still on high heat. Use a tool that has a big flat edge, and scrape, scrape, scrape up all the gook you developed. That's flavor, baby. You don't want to waste it. When it's all up off the pan, pour the beer and gook mixture over the onions and beef.

Add 8 oz (1 cup) of beef stock/broth. (Self-explanatory. Actually, if its not, write me. If at all possible, DON'T use the little cubes. They're WAY salty.)

Cover, and put the whole shebang in the oven. You're going for 3 hours, 30 minutes cooking time.

In the meanwhile......at the 2.5 hr mark, bring a big pot of salted water to a boil. Use your biggest pot, so you can cook up a mess of noodles. At the 3 hrs, 15 minutes mark, dump a package of wide egg noodles into the boiling water, AND TAKE OUT THE CARBONADE.

"What???? You said 3.5 hrs!" Yes, I did. We're going to use Carry Over Cooking. That stuff is hot, and it's going to stay hot outside the oven, too. Take a sprig or two of fresh thyme, strip it of its leaves, and dump them into the carbonnade. Give the sauce a quick taste to see if you want more salt, and if so, dump it in. Stir, and RE-COVER. It will cook the thyme just enough. (Using dried thyme? Put it in at the 2.5 hr mark).

When the noodles are done, drain them, put 'em in a bowl, and butter heavily.

Dish up noodles on plates, and serve carbonnade over the noodles.

To be very authentic, CARB OUT. Add crusty bread to the side, with lots of soft creamy butter.

Oh, and, of course:

SERVE WITH BEER.

A nice hearty red wine would taste lovely with this, sure, but, be Belgian! Drink beer!

Balsamic Peaches

I live in Georgia. The obvious choice then, when searching for interesting things to pickle, was a peach. Adding balsamic vinegar, Vidalia onions, and Serrano peppers to my frenzied preservationism, I came up with a very tasty end-of-summer treat.

Ingredients:

- 1 not-quite-ripe peach
- 1/2 Vidalia onion
- 1/2 Serrano pepper, diced
- Balsamic vinegar
- Kosher Salt
- Sugar

I sliced peach into strips, roughly chopped the onion and diced the pepper, putting them all in a glass bowl. I then heated enough balsamic to cover that, dissolving in salt and sugar (you have to do this to your own taste). Don't let the vinegar boil - just heat it enough to get the salt and sugar dissolved! Pour it over the produce, and seal with plastic wrap. Refrigerate it for two or three days to pickle.

Now, this is delicious already - sweet and sharp and perfect in a salad - but I wanted to go farther. This pickle was going to get post-processing!

I took out the peaches, and about half of the liquid (not the onions or peppers!) and put them in a small saucepan over medium heat. Once the liquid came to a boil, I lowered the heat and let it reduce (this takes a looooong time) until it became nice and syrupy, coating the now soft peach slices.

I poured all of this over vanilla ice cream, and it was totally bloody awesome. I used the remaining peach-infused vinegar as salad dressing for a while, which was also pretty darn good.

Pickles with Fish

Somehow, I just discovered pickling. Everything has been getting pickled in my house, from cucumbers and radishes to tomatoes and yes, even peaches. That last one is still a work in progress. One thing that has been especially successful is my old friend tindora - the little guys take so well to brine!

Slice your tindora and place in a glass bowl with not too much extra room. In a glass saucepan, grind mustard seed, coriander seed, salt and sugar to taste. I don't like too much sugar, but that's up to you. Add vinegar (white or cider - experiment with what you like!) and warm over medium heat until all the salt and sugar dissolve. Stir in some sliced Serrano peppers, for heat. Now, pour this over your tindora (should be enough to cover) and seal the bowl with plastic wrap. Place in the fridge for a couple of days, then enjoy.

Having made all these pickles, the question arises - what on earth do I do with them? The other night I came up with a surprisingly tasty solution. Layering different fresh (and pickled) ingredients, this dish is full of contrasts - temperatures, textures, and flavors - and made for a very satisfying and delicious meal. Healthy too! You can adjust any part of the recipe, from how you do the pickles to the kind of fish, etc., but I do recommend that the pickles be fairly bitter (not too sweet) and a firmer fish, since you don't want it falling apart.

I used:

Tindora pickles
Fish (I used tuna, but a lighter fish might be nice too)
Avocado
Light soy sauce
Mirin
Sesame oil
Rice

Cook your rice. When that's done and relaxing, fire up the wok with some sesame oil, and toss in your fish with a bit of soy sauce. While the fish is cooking, spoon out a bowl of rice and get out your pickles and avocado. Also, mix about a quarter-cup of sauce: half soy sauce and half mirin, with a splash of oil. When the fish is ready, quickly dice your avocado (don't do this ahead of time, or it will brown), and make a bowl of rice. On top of the warm rice, put the cold pickles, hot fish, and room-temperature avocados and sauce.

Serve immediately.

Cooking Tips for Guys, Part I

Summer is here and real American men know what to do: watch baseball on TV, because it's just too friggin' hot at the ballpark, especially if you're not from the Dominican Republic like all those rich pro ballplayers.

It's also when real American men are expected to generate Code Orange air quality days by immolating meat in the backyard. Any pantywaist metrocurian can use those SUV-sized natural gas, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all the fancy features (good subwoofers do help spread the sauce evenly, though). Nah, let's get ready to deep-fry some turkey.

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough real guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Don't bother with those electronic gizmos at Leading Edge; you can never read the LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn't that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don't forget the turkey. Make sure it is big enough to bother with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

4. Check interior compartment of poultry (note: light does not go on automatically; use Maglite). Any paper-wrapped parcels inside do not contain Surprise Creme Filling. Remove; give to wife or cat. If the bird is frozen, use your Benz-0-Matic torch judiciously or the meat will be dry. At this point you may marinate the turkey in any fluid mixture as long as it contains beer.

5. Equipment check list. This will vary but should definitely include safety equipment (welding apron, Kevlar™ gloves, safety glasses, fire extinguisher, cell phone, well-stocked beer cooler or full beer keg with ice), fire ignition tools (lighting chimney, matches, flamethrower, etc.), food manipulating tools (tongs, skewers, forks, knives, meat thermometers, meat hygrometers, count-down timer, 55-gallon deep-fry container, perforated deep-fry container insert with turkey stand and handle, caulking gun for stuffing insertion, brushes, airbrushes, and hypodermic needles for applying sauce, tattoo gun for decorations), deep-fry medium (vegetable oil is better than animal fat; Marvel Mystery Oil is not recommended), sauces, rubs, marinades, condiments and spices, and some essential vegetables (potato salad, cole slaw, ketchup). Anything missing? See Step #2. Hot and sweaty? See Step #2 (the shopping mall is air-conditioned) or begin beer consumption.

6. Check fuel supply. Make sure you have enough. Charcoal briquettes add a certain piquancy, but for even more petro-chemical taste and aroma soak your wood, charcoal, or bitumen in charcoal starter, napalm, or even gasoline (to hell with the expense). Do not add gasoline to burning fires or glowing coals, even if you feel you have protected yourself by consuming sufficient beer.

7. Ignite fire. Don welding apron, Kevlar™ gloves, safety glasses; if you are Caucasian, reverse baseball cap. Apply flame to fuel and accelerant, then extinguish eyebrows and flip-flops. If you are cooking over a gas burner or using an electric deep-fryer, get medical treatment for low testosterone level immediately. Remember to consume enough beer to keep cool.

8. Ensure that your annoying neighbor is downwind of your fire. Give the jerk something real to grumble about. He won't complain to you, though -- no real American guy would embarrass himself like that or disrespect the sacred nature of male outdoor cooking. If he complains, report the wimp to the authorities as an illegal alien terrorist and/or sexual deviant. Continue consuming beer to keep cool.

9. Cook. Allow fire to settle into glowing coals before using crane to hoist container of cooking oil over grill or burner. If you have been too impatient to allow fire to settle into glowing coals, extinguish oil fire and repeat. While waiting for fire to settle into glowing coals, prepare turkey by sprinkling it with salt, pepper, and/or the Deep-Fried Turkey Sprinkle you probably bought at Home Depot, and/or brush, air-brush or inject that Home Depot Deep-Fried Turkey Sauce. Remember to leave room in the oil container for turkey and perforated container to displace hot oil; if you forget, extinguish oil fire and repeat Step #9. Consume beer to replenish vital fluids and keep cool.

10. Remove turkey when done.The Deep-Fried Turkey Doneness Formula is simply Time = (weight of turkey) ß/Σ (altitude)2. Remember to adjust for actual air pressure and the specific gravity of your particular oil medium. If you think of turkey weight in kilos, knock on some doors and get a real American to help you. You can calculate Deep-Fried Turkey Doneness more easily with a meat thermometer: remove turkey ten minutes after meat thermometer melts. Alternative method: turkey is done when a 200-pound American male cook has consumed 216 fluid ounces (one gallon, five-and-a-half pints) of beer (caution: if you think of this as 6.39 liters, see above).

11. Allow turkey to drain and cool before eating. Do not blot with shop rags (these often contain metal shavings and will ruin dinner) or those little finger towels in the guest bathroom (using those for anything is grounds for divorce).

12. Call KFC. What the hell; a good time was had by all. Need a cold one?

Disclaimer: The above is provided for amusement, not actual cooking. NotionsCapital is not responsible for interpretations by the humor-impaired, mentally-challenged, or emotionally-disturbed. If English is not your native tongue, please ignore this post. Yes, we are aware that people are injured while improperly deep-frying turkeys and that consuming deep-fried foods is not considered healthy, so keep it to yourself. Jeez, what a country.

The preceding post was submitted by guest blogger Mike Licht. His original entry may be found here.

It's Cobbler time!

Tarara Vineyard's Blackberry Days Wine Festival (in Leesburg, VA) is quickly approaching (August 2nd and 3rd). Several years ago I used their berries and cobbler recipe to make an easy dessert. I've been using the recipe (with various enhancements) through the years.

The last couple of years I have been tart cherry picking at Homestead Farm (in Poolesville, MD)...and tart cherry cobblers (that are made with fresh cherries) are truly delicious and my favorite. I've made the cobblers with peaches, nectarines, apples, and various berries.

My last cherry picking trip at was at Homestead was a couple of weeks ago. Right now, the farm is probably nearing the end of cherry season and the beginning of blackberry season. They will have peaches, nectarines, and raspberries later in the summer.

The recipe follows:

Mix and sift a cup of flour (I now use 1/2 whole wheat organic flour) with a cup of sugar and 2 teaspoons baking powder.

I sometimes add a little amaretto liqueur or real vanilla extract (I use Madagascar vanilla) or cinnamon (I use good quality cinnamon from a spice store) to the batter.

And, now you have something to bring to your 4th of July picnic.

I sometimes top it with ice cream, or frozen yogurt.

Texas, NASA, and Bhutan...the new combo!

This year, the Smithsonian Folklife Festival's themes are Bhutan, NASA, and Texas.

The festival is on right now now through Sunday and 7/2-7/6. The Smithsonian website describes this year's themes:

"Bhutan: Land of the Thunder Dragon
Celebrating Bhutan's special approach towards life in the 21st century

Texas: A Celebration of Music, Food, and Wine
Exploring a dynamic and creative society, built upon rich natural resources, thriving cosmopolitan cities and engaging rural landscapes"

On the food side:

Texas:
"...see demonstrations of wine making; enjoy diverse culinary traditions, old and new, from barbeque to Vietnamese soups, from kolach making to chicken fried steak."

Bhutan:

"Since the Festival is intended to be as experiential as possible, cooking demonstrations and conversations about Bhutanese foodways will also take place. This is an important aspect of contemporary culture and gives insight into home and farm life."

Nasa will have a "food lab" covering topics such as creating menus for space, packaging food for space, and planning for the moon and mars.

They will only be be selling food from two of the three exhibit areas. NASA is the exception, so don't expect any Space Food. Freeze-dried icecream or Orange Tang, anyone?

Click here for the Festival Menu! This year's food vendors are Indique Hieghts, Capital Q, La Mexicana Bakery, and Asian Grille. This sure sounds good:

Nakey Tshoem
Chicken (shredded), fiddleheads, cheese, chiles, onion, garlic, ginger, and special seasonings served with Bhutanese rice.

Warm Summer Salad with Polenta

Summer for me is all about fresh fruit and vegetables, and cooking things lightly if at all. This is a lovely salad that is best with the freshest veggies you can find, in whatever proportions suit you on that day. The ones listed below are just the ones I used today, though in the past it's included spinach, onions, watercress, apples and chives, in addition to and instead of those. You can also skip the polenta, which I just like for a different texture, or add croutons instead right before the vinegar step for yet another.

Sample Ingredients:

Carrots
Tomatoes
Hungarian Peppers
Cucumber
Lettuce or other greens
Polenta cake
Fresh basil
Crumbled goat cheese
White wine vinegar
Marsala
Olive oil
Mustard Seed
Salt, Pepper

Wash and dice all your veggies, and cut the polenta cake into 1/4 inch cubes, keeping the lettuce separate from the other ingredients. Heat the mustard seed in some oil (not too much! I used about 1 tablespoon) in a pan with salt until they start jumping about. Now add your polenta, and cook it for about a minute over high heat. Next, add your veggies and basil (not lettuce/greens), stir-fry for about a minute, and then reduce the heat to medium and cook till they're all the texture you like. Meanwhile, mix the vinegar and a little bit of Marsala in a glass, with a few shakes of salt and drops of oil.

Remove all that to a bowl, and toss the lettuce on top. As it begins to wilt, turn the heat back up to high in your pan, and deglaze it with your vinegar mixture. When that's reduced by about a quarter to half, pour the hot liquid over your lettuce and toss in the goat cheese. That will kinda melt in; taste it now and add salt and pepper as you like.

You could add hard boiled eggs too, if you wanted to, or bacon might also be nice. As I said, this is really just a template, the basic idea being that the lettuce isn't really cooked itself at all, but just wilted by the heat of everything else. Actually none of it is full cooked except the polenta and sometimes I caramelize some of the veggies, but really it all means that you've got warm salad with little bursts of cool lettuce where the heat didn't get to it, which is really nice.

Simple Summer Spinach

I had a fairly ginormous brunch yesterday, and was consequently not all that hungry for dinner, but figured I'd better get some vitamins (besides those found in eggs Benedict and a Bloody Mary). I wanted something simple and fresh, which those ingredients could easily provide. Much as I love obnoxiously complicated dishes and weird ingredients, I rarely have time (or energy) for such feats, and tonight I didn't want much anyhow.

I also had a bunch of bloody gorgeous spinach and Vidalia onions sitting in my fridge, begging for a home on my love handles. I was only too happy to oblige!

What I used:

Half of a medium Vidalia onion
About half a pound of fresh spinach
2 tbs. butter
3/4 tsp. herbes de Provence
½ tsp celery salt
Salt
Black pepper
Fish sauce (optional)
Cider vinegar (optional)

Wash and tear the spinach into a saucepan (don't dry it fully). Cover the pan and turn on the heat to medium. When the lid gets hot to the touch (there is a reason my fingers have mile-thick calluses!), reduce ton low, and let sit for about three minutes. Now add your butter, herbes, celery salt and regular salt, stirring well. Re-cover and remove from heat, letting it all melt together while you dice your onion. If you want to kick up the flavor a bit, I recommend adding a splash of either fish sauce or cider vinegar here too, depending on your mood.

Once the butter is all nicely melted, remove the spinach to a bowl, using a slotted spoon to keep as much butter as possible in the pan. Set that aside, and return the pan to the stove, turning the heat back on and adding a bit of black pepper. Sautee the onions until they're as done as you want them (I like 'nicely caramelized'). When it's all done, deglaze with white wine.

The finished spinach and the finished onions are each a really tasty dish, and together make a fantastic light dinner. Or a great side dish. Or, if you really must, a stellar burger topping.

Chap Chae

Unlike neighboring China and Japan, Korean food has not caught on in such a big way here in the US. I think this is sad - not that kim chee isn't delicious and awesome, but Korean cuisine has so many other things to offer.

Chap chae (or jap chay) is one such offering. This classic dish is usually made with yam noodles, some variety of veggies, with or without meat, and can be served either with barbecue or as a main dish itself. I'd never attempted to make chap chae before, but a recent conversation with a friend about how he misses the Korean joint in his home town reminded me that I'd at some point acquired a basic recipe for the stuff, and should try it.

Based on the availability of certain ingredients, and my own whims, I've made some alterations to the original recipe. My results were really delicious, and the leftovers are even better - I've been eating this batch for a week! Be aware that it is a large recipe...you will need a big wok, or to cut quantities.

What you'll need:

12 oz rice stick noodles
3/4 Vidalia onion, chopped
1 carrot, julienned
1 zucchini, julienned
1 red bell pepper, julienned
2 Serrano peppers, diced
8 shitake mushrooms - stems removed and diced
1/2 pound sirloin cut into thin strips
1 tbs black sesame seeds
2 tbs sesame oil
3/8 cup light soy sauce
3/8 cup Braggs Liquid Aminos (or more soy sauce).
3/4 cup rice wine
2 tbs sugar
3 cloves garlic (diced)
Pinch ground ginger
Black pepper
Fresh mung bean sprouts

Soak your noodles in hot (not boiling) water for about 20 minutes, until soft, then drain, rinse with cold water, and set aside.

Mix the soy sauce, Braggs*, oil, ginger, black pepper, sugar, and a quarter of the garlic and Serranos, together in a glass, and set it aside to infuse a bit, while you chop all your veggies.

Heat some oil in a (VERY) large wok, and add about a third of your sauce plus another quarter of the garlic and Serranos and toast till they start to brown. Reduce heat to medium and add your steak and stir fry for about 4 minutes or until almost done. Remove from the wok (keep as much of the oil in as you can) and set aside.

Now add your carrots, red peppers and zucchini, and stir in the sesame seeds. Stir fry all of this for a few minutes, until everything is almost-but-not-quite tender. Now add the onions and mushrooms(and a bit more oil if needed).

After another minute or so, add back your steak and the rest of your garlic and Serranos. After that's all in, cut the noodles with a knife and stir them into the wok, followed by the rest of your sauce. Stir fry until everything is well mixed and the right texture. Be very careful not to cook the noodles too long, or it'll get mushy!

Remove everything to a bowl, and deglaze your wok with the rice wine and a splash of soy sauce. Once that reduces by about half, pour it over the dish as a sauce and stir it in. This is entirely optional but I think it's tasty.

Serve hot with a garnish of cold mung bean sprouts.

Like I said: I make no claims to authenticity here, but it is yummy. The only alteration I may make in the future would be to pickle the carrots beforehand, perhaps in mirin.

* I decided to make the sauce by halving the soy sauce and using Braggs because it makes the dish a bit less salty, which is nice for many reasons, and also because it adds a flavor I like. Do as you wish.

Tindora With Sweet Potatoes

My obsession with tindora/vargoli/ivy gourd continues unabated, and each time I see them at the farmers market, I cannot help but buy more than one person can reasonably consume. No one has ever called me 'reasonable.'

Last night I realized that I had about a half-pound of gourds left, and a large sweet potato that wasn't getting any fresher. I decided to move away from the pickle-and-peanut concept I've found so reliable for vargoli, and considered a different tack. The results were really, really delicious.

Ingredients:

Sauce:
- 1/2 tsp. Dijon mustard
- 1/4 tsp. fresh grated horseradish
- 1/8 cup red wine vinegar
- 1/8 cup olive oil
- Splash Madeira wine
- 1 pinch herbes de Provence
- Salt and pepper to taste

Other:
- 1/2 pound fresh vargoli (aka tindora, ivy gourd, gourd, etc.)
- 1 large sweet potato

First, microwave your sweet potato (skin on) for about 3 and a half minutes, until soft but not quite done. Set it aside to cool a bit. While that's going, clean and slice your vargoli into rounds and set them aside and, in a small glass, mix the sauce ingredients until nicely emulsified.

Now get a wok (or fry pan) going on medium-high heat. Add some oil (maybe 2 tbs). When it's all up to temperature, add your mustard seed and coriander seed, heating until they start to crackle and jump. Add the sliced vargoli and stir-fry for a minute, then let it be still while you peel and dice the sweet potato.

Toss the potato and cup of sauce in with the vargoli, and cook until everything's done, stirring as little as possible to let things caramelize a bit.

Served alone this makes a really delicious and very healthy meal that is even vegan and gluten free, but I really like having a side of good yogurt (Greek or home-made regular) to go balance it out. Enjoy!!!

Variation on a Salsa Verde

For some time now, I've been craving salsa verde. I don't really know why, or even what I wanted to do when I find it, but there was a clear deficit of the stuff in my life. Store-bought salsas are pretty much invariably disappointing, and the green varieties double so. They usually at double the cost too.

Traditionally, salsa verde is made with jalapenos, tomatillos, cilantro, and lime juice. I don't like jalapenos (or, at least, I prefer other sources of heat), the cilantro at the store wasn't so great, and I forgot to buy lime juice. As usual, I was not about to let this deter me.

I used:

• 3 tomatillos
• 1 cup (or so) fresh basil
• 3/4 cup Vidalia onion
• 2 Serrano peppers
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 tbs olive oil
• 3/4 tsp celery salt
• 3/4 tsp turbinado sugar

While those are cooking, chop up your onion and measure the spices.

Once everything's cooked, take it out of the oven, peel the garlic and stem the peppers. Now, put everything into a blender or food processor and liquify. Adjust with salt, sugar, pepper, and whatever else you like, until you're happy. Remember - the flavors will be stronger once it has cooled and congealed a bit!

Serve with chips or on enchiladas or wherever you might want a very flavorful, slightly sweet but mostly tangy, heat. It also works very well as a pesto substitute if you use more basil.

Vegan Veggies

Occasional Füddie SNH sends us this quick, vegan & gluten-free dish using lemon zest and tahini to make a delicious, creamy and tangy sauce.

Ingredients:
3 lemons
1 crown of broccoli
1/2 crown cauliflower
1 cup okra, chopped
Thin rice noodles (or other noodles)
1 Tbsp tahini (sesame paste)
2 cloves garlic
Almonds, roasted and chopped
Olive oil
Black pepper (fresh ground)

- Chop broccoli, cauliflower, and okra. Cut large florets in half, keep small florets. Set aside.
- Zest one of the lemons and set the zest aside.
- Juice all three lemons.
- In a small saucepan (cast iron works well*), heat 1 tbsp olive oil on low.
- In a steamer, steam the broccoli, cauliflower, and okra.
- Chop or crush garlic, combine with olive oil in saucepan. Increase heat to medium-low, sautee 5 minutes.
- Add lemon zest and sautée for another 5 minutes.
- Optional: Remove lemon zest and garlic cloves from the olive oil.
- Add lemon juice and tahini to olive oil, stirring until the mixture has a creamy consistency. Reduce heat to low and stir every few minutes until ready to serve.
- Bring a pot of water to a boil and add the rice noodles. Cook according to directions on the package.

Once vegetables have reached desired tenderness, drain the noodles and vegetables. Serve noodles topped with vegetables, sauce, and almonds.

*If using cast iron for the sauce, be sure to rinse promptly after and re-season with oil right away. The highly acidic lemon juice can strip the pan of some of its seasoning/coating.

Diagrammatic Chicken

Recipes are a funny thing. Some people live by them - they read and follow every instruction to the letter, obsessing over how many salt grains are in a “pinch” (is that the same as a “Pinch”?) or if a splash is more than one shake of the soy sauce bottle. Then there are people like my great-grandmother, who are probably aware that “teaspoon” has a specific definition, but wouldn’t admit it if asked.

I’m somewhere in between: I like recipes in theory, but am a bit inconsistent at actually using them once in the kitchen. It’s always nice to have some idea what you’re going to need from the store, and how long it’s likely to take, but once the cooking starts, I tend to let go of what’s written down in favor of what flavors or textures or colors strike me just then. Sometimes it works, sometimes it’s a disaster. Other people generally don’t hear about the latter, and that is not about to change.

But this is all subject to a bias, generated by how recipes have always been presented to me: a list of ingredients and instructions, neatly indented and punctuated, with notes in the margins and certain words circled or crossed out and written over. Upon seeing the image above on BoingBoing last week, I couldn’t resist.

First of all, it’s beautiful. Second of all (assuming there’s not much missing from the translations), it does just what I want a recipe to do: it gives me an idea, easily subjected to my own moods and whims. In deference to that concept, I’ll only give the highlights of my version.

I used all the ingredients in the diagram (except duck, I only had chicken), plus some tapioca starch. For the “1 cup sauce” I used about 3/4 cup soy sauce, and the rest was mostly Sriracha and some lime juice.

I fried the spices in sesame oil till they were fragrant, then added the chicken and, after a couple of minutes, my shitakes. After a while I added the sauce and beer (I used Kirin Ichiban, because it’s what I had), and when the chicken was cooked I thickened it with the starch.

I served it over white hominy, because I was too lazy to make rice, and that actually worked really well. It was a bit salty (maybe less soy sauce and more beer next time), but really delicious.

Any brilliant artists out there who want to make me very happy are encouraged to paint some recipes after this fashion - my kitchen has plenty of empty wall space!

Quick Lemongrass Chicken

Lemongrass is a great spice. It can be used in warm, soothing dishes as well as it can be in cold refreshing and hot jarring ones. I love to use it as a way of brightening up a recipe, much as I'd use lemon juice, although without the acidity or extra liquid. This dish is one I've been making, in one form or another, for many years - it's fast, easy, and pretty healthy.

Because this is a dish that's best made a bit thrown-together, everything here is approximate, and everyone should adjust to their own tastes and moods.

What you need:

1 3/4 chicken breast, cut into strips
1 tbs. garlic (minced)
1 tbs lemongrass, diced small
1 tbs light soy sauce
1 tbs oyster sauce
1 tbs rice wine (or cheap red, if that's what you've got)
2 serrano peppers, diced
Fresh basil

What you do:

Heat some oil to medium-high in a wok, and add the garlic and lemongrass, stirring until very fragrant. Then, add the chicken and let cook until it's about 3/4 done, about 3 minutes. Now, raise the heat to high and add your sauces and peppers, stir-frying for about a minute. Lower heat back to medium, and cook until the sauce is reduced about 80%.

Serve hot over rice, and garnish with basil leaves.

(Image from wiki-images)

Kung-Pao Style Chicken for One

The one downside to living alone is that cooking for one can be a real challenge. Most recipes serve more than one, and ingredients don’t always come in easily-subdivided groupings. Here’s a recipe I quite like that makes one serving, for which I use chicken breasts which I keep in single freezer bags.

It’s based off of what a friend of mine does for her family, but scaled down and modified to suit my tastes.

This is what you need:

1 chicken breast cut in 1-inch bits
2 baby bok choys, chopped up
1/3 of a yellow onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp ginger
2 Serrano peppers, diced
A handful of roasted peanuts
Another handful of peanuts, ground up
2 tbs rice wine (or marsala)
1.5 tbs soy sauce
1 tsp tapioca starch (or corn if you prefer)
Mirin
Sugar
Sesame oil.

Cut everything up, and make your sauce: mix the wine, soy sauce, half the peppers and garlic, and a splash of mirin in a glass, and set it aside.

Now, get your wok going over medium-high heat, and add a couple tablespoons of oil. Add the ginger and the peppers and garlic not in your sauce, and stir for 30 seconds. Add the chicken, stir around, and let cook for a couple of minutes, until it’s about half done. Now add your onions, and when they begin to get translucent, your bok choy and whole peanuts.

Dump in your sauce, adding a bit more oil if you need it. Add the ground nuts and toss that all together, and let cook about a minute. Meanwhile, dissolve your starch in warm water. Now reduce the heat to medium and stir in the starch-water slurry. This will thicken the sauce. Adjust your seasonings to taste (I usually add a bit of Sriracha, because I love it), and serve hot over rice.

Eastern Ingenuity Meets Western Laziness

I bought one of those pre-prepped bags of broccoli and cauliflower and carrots at the grocery store the other day, because it was on sale and because I love veggies and because I am lazy. At home, I noticed that on the back of the bag there was a recipe for a vegetable curry, using the contents of the bag, and other similarly-branded ingredients. I didn’t have most of those other things handy, and also the recipe didn’t look very good. But the idea's seeds were sewn.

Days later, at the Asian market, I came upon the aisle of canned curry mixes and powders. When an older lady speaking what sounded like Thai to her cell phone grabbed about four cans of Bright brand (Thai) Green Curry, I decided to try it. I’ve been steered horribly wrong before, but more often than not this is a good way of picking between brands you don’t know. I also picked up a few other ingredients and, for reasons not entirely clear even to me, later (at the farmers market) decided to buy buffalo instead of beef or chicken meat.

I ended up with the following:

- 2 cans green curry ( FYI: it has coconut milk and bamboo shoots and kefir leaves already in it, if you’re making your own)
- 1 large fresh Serrano pepper (about 1.5 tbs chopped)
- 1 stalk fresh lemongrass
- 1 lb. of mixed broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots
- 1 medium yellow onion
- 1.5 pounds buffalo top round
- Fish sauce
- Dry roasted peanuts

Back home, I got to work: I diced the onion and Serrano, chopped about 2 tbs of the lemongrass (slice into thin circles, then quarter), rinsed the veggies, trimmed the meat, and cut it into 3/4 - inch cubes. I got out my biggest pot, and first browned the meat a little bit. Then, I lowered the heat to medium and added olive oil, followed by about half of the chilies and lemongrass. After this was all nice and warm and fragrant, I stirred in the onions. I let them cook about 5 minutes, till a bit translucent but not all the way.

At that point, I added the veggies, and both cans of curry, about 3 tbs of fish sauce, and the remaining spices. I also added sriracha, but then again I like things hot. I upped the temperature as well, to medium-high, and let the curry simmer and reduce, stirring only once in a while, until everything was the right texture. It was, at this point, still a little watery for me, so I mixed a big teaspoon of tapioca starch in a quarter-cup of water, and stirred that into the curry to thicken it.

I am, it should be known, a bit lax in my advanced planning and very prone to forgetting to do things. Like, say, to buy rice at the store. Or to think about boiling pasta before the rest of my meal is nearly ready. Luckily, I am aware of my own, err, idiosyncrasies, and stock my shelves accordingly. It turns out that canned white hominy is easy and fast to warm, and actually makes a nice substitute for rice.

I garnished the dish with the peanuts, which I ground with mortar and pestle, which I think was a key factor in making this dish delicious. Without it, the buffalo was too much of a random flavor - the peanuts helped to integrate it all together. Plus, I love peanuts.

Breadfruit Sautée

A funny thing about my West-Indian tinged upbringing is that I’ve been exposed to so many amazing foods and cuisines, but not often directly enough to learn to execute them properly. So many of the dishes I grew up loving and still think of as supreme comfort food, I have no idea how to deal with preparing. Breadfruit is a prime example: the sweet, starchy fruit’s luscious perfume transports me instantly to warmer climes and friendlier faces, but once home with one, I’ve always been a bit perplexed. A wonderful substitute for potatoes or yams, the stuff is a royal pain to cook.

Despite this knowledge, the gorgeous aroma as I walked by the breadfruit bin at the farmers market overpowered my better judgment: if at first you don’t succeed, et cetera. Picking a medium-sized, about 1/3 green one (meaning that it was close to ripe, but not all the way), I headed home. First things first, I preheated my oven to 300, washed the fruit and skewered some holes in it, and wrapped it in foil. I roasted it for an hour total, quarter-turning every 15 minutes.

During the last 15 minutes, I diced a small white onion. Out of the oven, I let the fruit cool enough to cut it, remove the center bits, peel it, and dice it, while warming my skillet to medium-high. To the pan I added some butter and the breadfruit, and tossed it with some Vegeta. After 5 minutes or so, I added the onions. When the onions were a bit caramelized, but not charred, I removed everything to a bowl, and deglazed the pan with a cup of dark rum (Gosling, in this case), letting that reduce about 75%. I tossed the sauce into the bowl with everything else, and had a lovely accompaniment to the grilled chicken and spinach salad I’d also made.

Be aware: breadfruit has a very strange texture, if you’re not expecting it. It is a bit spongy, and can be chewy, but don’t let that deter you from this wonderful, and healthy ingredient!

Sweet and Hot Squid with Thai Basil

I love calamari, squid salad, and Italian squid pastas, but I’d never tried cooking any such cephalopod myself. As usual, cheap produce lead me to new adventures: fresh squid rings were $2.00 per pound at YDFM today, and Thai basil was $0.99/lb. So, I decided to try a Thai-esque dinner. I used:

For the sauce:
1/4 cup Thai basil
1/2 tsp. ground ginger (or 1 tsp fresh grated)
2 tsp hot pepper flakes
3/4 tbs. light soy sauce
3/4 tbs. fish sauce
2 squeezes honey (1 tsp?).

Everything Else
3/4 lbs. fresh squid rings (or whatever bits you prefer)
White hominy (I used 1 can)
Sesame oil
Rice wine
Sriracha
Lemon juice

I first asked Professor Google how long squid need to be cooked (I'm still not clear on the answer: mine were a bit rubbery), and then set to considering my sauce options. Combining a number of mixtures I’ve used over the years and the ideas I remember from squid dishes I’ve eaten, combined the above-listed sauce ingredients in a mixing bowl, and stirred them together.

Having done that, I threw some sesame oil into my wok and got it going. When the oil was hot (just beginning to sputter), I lifted the wok for a few seconds, threw in a handful of chopped basil, and returned the wok to the burner, beginning to toss the basil and oil about. Once the basil was crispy, I added my squid, stir-frying it with the oil and basil for about 1 minute.

Then, I turned down the heat to medium and stirred in my sauce. As that simmered a bit, I put my hominy in a sauce pan over low heat with a couple splashes of oil, a few of lemon juice, and a sprinkle of ginger.

My accompaniment in the works, I added the remaining basil to the squid and stirred. Then I added a few squirts of Sriracha and maybe a quarter cup of rice wine to moisten it. When the squid seemed done, I removed everything from the heat.

I served the squid over the hominy, the latter’s lemony starchiness balancing the former’s slightly sweet spiciness. All in all a successful and satisfying dinner in almost no time (total fridge-to-plate: less than 10 minutes), plus the sauce is a definite keeper: it’d be good on almost anything!

Pumpkin-Eggnog Bread Pudding

If really pressed to identify my favorite dessert, I’d probably have to go for bread pudding. I love the stuff, and have many wonderful childhood memories surrounding it. So, upon seeing Smitten Kitchen’s rendition of a Gourmet magazine recipe I’d been eyeing for Thanksgiving fare, an idea hatched. Then, speaking with a friend about the joys of properly spiked egg nog, the idea grew from a hatchling to … a whatever comes after hatchling … and then in the kitchen on Thanksgiving became a full-fledged recipe. Thanksgiving night, it died in the spectacular way that a really good dessert must: by becoming immortal, eternally embedded in thighs and love handles of diners.

Here’s how it all went:
1 ½ cups egg nog (you could probably use Lite, but then why bother?)
3/4 cup canned pumpkin (the kind that says “Ingredients: Pumpkin” and nothing else)
1/2 cup white sugar (you could experiment with brown or turbinado, but it might be a bit much)
2 large eggs
1 egg yolk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
Pinch of ground cloves
1 ½-or-so cups bourbon (optional but really important)
5 cups day-old baguette or crusty bread, cut into 1-inch bits
3/4 stick unsalted butter, melted
1 cup raisins
½ cup toasted almond slivers
Vanilla ice cream

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Put raisins and almonds and enough bourbon to cover them into a jar with a pretty good seal on the lid (can use plastic wrap). Set this aside. No, you may not have one yet. They’re not ready.
Now, stir together your pumpkin, nog, sugar, eggs, egg yolk, spices, and about 2 tablespoons of bourbon in a mixing bowl. Coat your bread bits with the melted butter in another bowl, then add the pumpkin mix and toss it so it’s all covered. No, you still may not have any of the raisins. They’re not ready. Not the almonds either.

Now, put your proto-pudding into a baking pan (preferably not too deep, maybe 2” tops) and bake until it looks done, about 20-30 minutes.

When you’re ready to serve, drain your raisins and almonds - OK, fine, you can try a few on the way, just for quality control, sure - and spread them over top of the pudding. Challenge your guests to see who’ll drink the raisin-almond-flavored bourbon, or do so yourself if you’re in to that sort of thing. You could even share!

Serve over vanilla ice cream for best effect, or eat by itself.

Nearly Dim Sum, At Home

I love dim sum, but I’ve always just left it as something I could only have outside of home. Part of its wonderfulness is the experience - grabbing random bits off the carts, trying new and strange-looking things, and of course competitive gluttony with friends. Recently this changed a bit as I stopped at the Asian grocery on my way home from dim sum, and saw the big block of taro cake on the shelf. I had to try it.

The next morning I woke early (amazing what going to bed before midnight can do!), and pondered my purchase. A quick Google didn’t turn up any particularly interesting ideas, so I decided to go a bit mad. I had made a bunch of mole last week, and had tons of leftover sauce. I also had a papaya ripening on my windowsill, in need of a purpose. So, I decided to blend some ideas together:

Now add your scallions, flipping your cakes around to make sure the scallions cook and the cakes get a good coating. Once they are nicely cooked, remove the cakes from the pan and let them cool a minute or two on a paper towel to wick off the excess oil.

Serving the cakes with fresh papaya really makes this dish: the sweet fruit balances the spicy and slightly oily cakes, and if the fruit is chilled, that makes for a nice contrast as well. Drizzle with soy sauce if you like - I’m a big salt fiend so I do. It’s almost like having dim sum at home.

Enjoy!

Ghivetch

...Not 'kvetch.' That's what I do about the cold weather, especially in the South, where such things should not occur. Ghivetch is a traditional Rumanian/Jewish vegetable stew which is a staple of my family's cold-weather kitchen.

Pack with veggies and vitamins and goodness, it's hard-core comfort food that isn't even bad for you. How's that for a treat? The basic recipe is below, but I love to mess around with it, adding bacon (of course), or even veal or duck if you're feeling ambitious.

1 cup thinly sliced carrots
1 cup fresh sliced green beans
1 cup diced potato
1/2 cup sliced celery
2 diced medium tomatoes
1 small yellow squash, thin sliced
1 small zucchini, sliced thin
1/2 red onion, thin sliced
1/2 cauliflower head, chopped
1/2 cup julienned sweet pepper (or fresh paprika, if you have it)
1/2 cup thawed frozen peas
1 cup beef stock
1/3 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 bay leaf, crumbled
1/2 tsp savory
1/2 tsp tarragon
salt

Boil your stock with the spices, and pour over veggies in a dutch oven. Bake at 350 for about an hour, or till done.

I like it over crusty bread, with a good pinot blanc.

Faux Pho

You can’t always get what you want, the cliché goes, but I’ve found that I can usually improvise to get what I need. I wanted pho. Hot, spicy, sketchy-meat filled pho. Sadly, I’m 15 miles from the nearest acceptable option, in the middle of midterms, and flat broke.

Lucky for me, I had some (faux?) pho bullion cubes leftover from a previous (and abortive) attempt at making the stuff myself, so I wondered if I couldn’t whip up something close enough. What I ended up with only resembled the real thing in its flavor undertones and hot-soupness. I probably should have added some more star anise.

The good news is, despite not being what I really wanted, my soup was delicious and satisfied my craving for hearty comfort food. Here’s what I used:

2 pho bullion cubes (Chay brand);
3 cups water;
A bunch of mixed dried mushrooms;
Some frozen (thawed) veggies - snow peas, broccoli, onion, kale;
About a pound of frozen (thawed) mahi-mahi;
Hot red pepper flakes;
Fresh basil (about 10-12 leaves);
A splash of Mirin;
Some stale sourdough bread.

Yeah, I keep some strange stuff in my pantry.

Here’s what I did:

I boiled the water to dissolve the pho cubes, and reduced the heat to medium for a slow boil, adding the mushrooms. Then I added the veggies, which I’d resuscitated from cryo-stasis in the microwave, and the fish (thawed in a cold water bath and cubed). I let the mix return to a boil, and after a few minutes tasted it and decided hot pepper flakes were in order. So I added a few shakes.

While that boiled away (for about 12-15 minutes), I prepared my serving bowl by turning the bread (as I had no noodles handy) and making croutons - tear up and bake about 5 minutes at 450 degrees - and tearing the basil into it. When the fish was cooked through (flaky and white, not grey and hard or à poil as you’d eat it normally), I ladled some into the bowl.

I added soy sauce and fish sauce and sriracha, but even without them, the flavor was good. It would have been nice to have fresh lime and bean sprouts too, but oh well. I was happy! The sourdough was actually the nicest surprise: it really set off the soup’s flavors. Has anyone ever seen or made sourdough pasta? That might be a good thing for me to keep around.

Fall Pasta

Sometimes, when you cook something haphazardly, and the results are … haphazard. On rare, wonderful occasions, they are delicious and satisfying and worth repeating in a more orderly fashion. It’s October - properly fall now - and my first proper dish of the season was one of these delightful surprises; I’ll make it again without a doubt, and a bit of advance planning will make it even more amazing.

I love fall: the weather cools and the season’s earthy flavors make a nice letting down from summer’s exuberance before winter’s deeper and richer ones. My favorite fall ingredient of all is probably the most iconic, at least in the States: pumpkin. At the farmers market this week, I spied the first batch, rich orange with spiky grayish-brown stems, and bought two. It’s not yet cold enough here for my pumpkin curry, so I looked for another idea. Drawing from vague memories and, as I am in fact still a grad student, what was really cheap, I also purchased some really beautiful beets, and fresh sage.

Come dinner-prepping time, I was in the mood for pasta. How could I make my pumpkin-y schemes fit this new craving? Another memory flickered through my mind, this time of a creamy squash pasta, somewhere in DC, many years ago. Funny how I can remember things like this, but not the names and dates needed for my communications exam…

I messed about for a while, but ultimately this is what I used:

1 medium pumpkin, cut into 1-ish inch chunks (about 3 cups worth);
2 large beets, cleaned and similarly cubed;
1 pound whole wheat penne;
7 cloves garlic, chopped;
12 fresh sage leaves, torn into bits;
½ cup light cream;
½ cup milk (2%);
Sriracha;
Fresh-grated Parmesan;
Olive Oil;
Salt and pepper.

What I did:

I prepped everything as above. Ideally, I’d have pre-roast the beets halfway, but I am lazy so I just microwaved them for about 9 minutes; this softens them up so they can be sautéed with the pumpkin, saving some time. Once that was done, I added both beets and pumpkins to a pan over medium-high heat, with a bunch of olive oil and some salt. I sautéed them until everything was tender, but not quite fully done, and removed to a bowl, where I stirred in about half of the chopped garlic and sage.

While that was cooking, I boiled my pasta, adding a small piece of beet to that pot to make the pasta pink, because I was feeling that cheeky. When the pasta was slightly under-done (just before proper al dente), I drained and put it, along with the sautéed pumpkin and beets, into a large pot over low-medium heat. Then I mixed in milk, cream, and the rest of the spices. As it heated, I slowly added Parmesan until it was a bit gooey, but not super-cheesy (I didn’t want mac+cheese). Finally, I added sriracha, salt and pepper.

I served it with a bit more Parmesan on top, and it was fantastic. The pumpkin and beet really sing together, especially with all that dairy to mellow the beets’ sharpness. I’ve been enjoying the leftovers ever since, and found that adding some chicken chorizo really kicked things up, both in terms of flavor and fillingness.

Sopa de La Mancha

Now that the weather is starting to turn cool, I’ve been thinking about earthier flavors and darker colors. And soups. I know that there’s a soup for any weather, but except for gazpacho, I want nothing to do with the stuff in summer. But recently I was treated to another Spanish soup, which is in my mind a perfect fall dish. I don’t know what it’s really called, but the friend who made it claims this to be “something I learned from my nan” says it’s from Don Quixote’s own La Mancha region of Spain. Why a Spanish girl calls her grandmother ‘nan’ is anyone’s guess.

Here’s the recipe:

4 cups beef stock
4 eggs
2 tbs olive oil
4 large peeled cloves of garlic
4 slices stale country breads (We used cibatta, which was good but maybe something more sour would be better)
4 tbs paprika
¼ tsp ground cumin

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees (F), and set out four oven-safe bowls.

In a saucepan, fry whole peeled garlic cloves in the oil until they are golden; set them aside. Fry your bread until it’s golden and set that aside too. Now, add 1 tablespoon of the paprika to the pot, let it fry a few seconds, and then add the rest of the paprika, cumin, and stock. Let it get hot but not quite boiling.

Crush your garlic with a spoon, and it back to the pot, along with some salt and pepper. Cook 5 minutes over medium heat. While that’s happening, break the bread up into bits into the bowls - one slice each.

Ladle the hot soup into the bowls (I recommend having them on a tray or something that you can put into the oven - it makes transportation easier). Break an egg into each bowl, and put the lot in the oven for about 3 minutes, until the eggs are set.

Enjoy!

Peanut Vargoli (Tindora) with Tofu

Continuing my adventures with strange vegetables from the farmers market, this week I noticed an older Indian woman being very excited to her shopping companions over a pile of small, gherkin-shaped vegetables labeled “Tindora.” My curiosity piqued, I asked her what they were and how to cook them. Her reply was that she called them “Vargoli” - the Hindi to Gujarati’s “Tindora” and the English “Ivy Gourd” - and that she sliced them and stir-fried them with mustard seed, cumin and turmeric; her companion added that ground peanuts were a good garnish. They also suggested that I pick only long skinny ones, and if any turned out to be orange inside, I shouldn’t use them.

With all this in mind, I picked myself a bag of little gourds to take home with a fresh turmeric root and a brick of firm tofu. At home, I added my own ideas to the mix, and this is what I used:

About 20 ivy gourds/tindoras/vargolis;
1 block of firm tofu, well drained and cut to cubes;
1 root of fresh turmeric;
About 1/2 tsp each cumin seeds and mustard seeds;
Peanut oil;
Organic/all-natural creamy peanut butter;
Mirin;
Sriracha;

While the tofu drained, I cut the ends off of and quartered each gourd and heated up my cast iron pan with a drizzle of peanut oil.

Reducing the heat to medium, I added the cumin and mustard seeds, letting them bounce around under my splatter screen until they were brown. I then added more oil, grated in about an inch of turmeric, and added the gourds and some sriracha. I stir-fried all this for a few minutes, not letting the gourd get totally soft. I removed it to a bowl.

Adding more oil to the pan, as well as another sprinkle of seeds and turmeric, I fried the tofu until it was nice and crispy on the outside, but still smushy on the inside. Then I removed that to another bowl.

While the tofu cooked, I put about a tablespoon of peanut butter, 2 tablespoons mirin, and 1 tsp sriracha into a small glass, which I microwaved for 20 seconds and mixed into a paste. I added more oil and a bit of water to make it more liquidy.

I then added all three pieces together in a large bowl, tossing the peanut sauce all over. The gourd itself has a mild flavor, not unlike a cucumber bur more sour and less … green tasting. It was really delicious with the peanut sauce. The tofu was, of course, tofu, and absorbed all the flavors like the good little sponge it is. Overall, this was a very tasty dinner which, at least partially due to my laziness and consequent lack of rice, was really quite healthy too!

L'Academie, Week 7: Eggs

(Watch out--the first five words of this article are boring, but it gets better from there.)

Health department regulations state that (See? I told you.) real hollandaise sauce must be re-made every hour at restaurants to prevent food poisoning. While this prevents you from contracting salmonella poisoning, it also means that most restaurants just use a hollandaise sauce mix in their eggs benedict instead of going to all the trouble to constantly remake the real stuff during the brunch rush. Here's how to make Hollandaise Sauce yourself, at home, in your PJs, for less trouble than you'd take to find a parking space near a good brunch place on a Sunday morning.

Separate the whites and yolks of a bunch of eggs. (Three eggs per person is plenty, and you'll have leftovers.) Do this by cracking them a flat surface, not a corner, which will drive pointy bits into the white. Let the yolk settle into one half of the shell and let the white fall out. Pour from one half-shell to the other--carefully--until the white is mostly gone. Pour the yolks into a metal bowl.

Whisk the yolks furiously until they are the consistency of cake batter. This takes awhile, so make sure you have spent the night with someone who is willing to do half the work for breakfast. They should be slightly lighter yellow than unwhisked yolks. Put the bowl over a pot of lightly simmering water (but not touching the water) and leave it there to keep warm, but not cook the yolks. Now slowly pour in some lemon juice (roughly two easy squeezes from a lemon half, I'd say) while still whisking rapidly to emulsify it. Whisk in some warm, melted butter the same way; clarified is good, but not necessary. Keep whisking until it is a consistency you want to eat, and add some cayenne if you want.

Next up: Grains! (Yawn. But I'll tell you how to make coconut sticky rice.)

L'Academie, Week 5

This week focused on salads, mushrooms, and vinaigrettes, which was great because up until this class I was proud of myself if I mixed my own Caesar salad rather than buy it in a bag. I could never figure out why my own made-up salads didn't turn out well, but I didn't care very much. I was salad-challenged.

I took that class six days ago, and since then I have eaten the following salad three times:

Panzanella, Or Italian Tomato Bread Salad

Chop up half a shallot and put in in the blender. Pour in a few glugs of sherry vinegar, and then turn on the blender. Then and only then, use the little hole in the top to sloooowly pour in about two to three times as much oil as you did vinegar, as the blender is still on....it should take you at least thirty seconds to add the oil if you're doing it slowly enough. I used extra-virgin olive oil, basil-flavored olive oil, and then some canola so the olive taste wouldn't take over.

That makes one ugly vinaigrette, so cheer it up a little bit by tossing in a slice or two of tomato. I used red heirloom tomatoes and they were perfect, but when I went to Whole Foods for more tomatoes (it's an obsession) they were like $6.00 a pound, so I bought vine-ripened instead and they were lovely, too.

Rip up a few pieces of tough bread per person (I used a crusty baguette), and chop up another tomato (or two or three) into bite-sized pieces. Mix them together in a serving bowl, and pour the vinagrette over it, tossing as you go. Don't soak the bread--just get it damp. If you didn't use basil-flavored olive oil (and even if you did), slice up some basil leaves and stir them in. Finish with crumbled parmesan, and serve over spinach leaves.

Sweet, Bitter, and Bacon

In the US we tend not to eat much in the way of extremely bitter foods - grapefruit and endive are about as bitter as we go. Despite this, I love bitter foods, and I’d long wondered about the things at the farmers market - the strange ones with bizarrely textured, bright green skin. So today I asked the girl at one stall how one might cook a bitter melon. Her response: “However you want...I usually stir-fry them or boil and mash them. They’re so tasty!” It turns out that they’re really good for you too - perhaps helping to regulate digestion and improving blood sugar control.

Mission in mind, I returned home with three medium-sized ones, deciding to go the mashed route, as I also had a sweet potato and I wondered if they might play well together. With some helpers along for the ride, they did:

I put my sweet potato into the oven for baking; since I’m currently without a microwave, I have to do things the slow way. I washed and cut the melons in half, scooped out the seeds (which I’ve since been told are good to eat too, but I wasn’t sure, and they seemed rather crunchy for a mash), and cut the flesh into inch-wide bits. I put them in a pot of broth to boil.

After a few minutes (maybe seven or so), the melon smelled so good, I thought it would be a waste to boil all of that flavor away, and an idea popped into my head. I got out my frying pan and added some bacon. Bacon half-cooked, I moved the melon from pot to pan and sautéed the lot till the melon was mostly soft(ish), adding hot pepper flakes and Vegeta when I felt like it.

By this time my potato was baked, so I removed the peel, added a touch of olive oil and mashed it up. Then, I mashed up my melon and mixed it into the potato, stirring the bacon (now crisp and in pretty small pieces) on top. The bacon was, I think, key - its earthiness really unified the sweet and bitter flavors.

The results were quite tasty, and though more tweaking will be necessary before I think this dish is “complete,” I wanted to share it and see what other folks have done with this funny little fruit.

L'Academie de Cuisine, Week 4

So class last night focused on vegetables: specifically which kinds stand up best in which preparation. The preparations we practiced were:

Confit - tiny pieces cooked very slowly in a good amount of fat. Surprisingly, red cabbage prepared this way (with some granny smith apple bits) is absolutely luscious. (If my parents are reading this, they just laughed out loud at the idea of me liking red cabbage, because when I was two I flung red cabbage across a crowded restaurant. It was the start of my career being particular about what I ate, and also of being a little dramatic.)

Roasting - You know what this is: cooked in an oven, maybe with a little fat to prevent overdrying. Brings out the sweetness and softens veggies.

Braising - browned on the stove with oil and/or butter, then deglazed (scrape the pan with some wine) and cooked in a little liquid (like chicken stock) in the oven until tender. Surprisingly easy and gorgeous with fennel or squash. Add balsamic and honey to balance the flavors.

Carmelizing - used on onions, mostly. First, sweat them on low heat until soft, not allowing them to brown. Once they are completely soft, add some wine, deglaze, and turn up the heat so that they brown evenly.

Blanching - boiling briefly in salted water to season and seal in the color, then plunging into an ice bath to prevent mushiness. (I first became aware of this as the "shock and awe" method.) Also good for loosening skins without actually cooking the vegetable, like for tomatoes.

Gratinee - blanched, then stirred into a bechamel with grainy mustard and a little cheese. Contrary to what I figured before, gratinee does not mean "drowned in cheese;" it means "browned." The browning comes from baking until bubbly, and maybe passing it under the broiler for a minute. (I'm not entirely sure how this even counts as a vegetable.) Our instructor did this with cauliflower last night, and it was sumptuous. I'll be making that again this weekend.

L'Academie de Cuisine, Week 3

When one realizes that one's reputation as a gastronaut and a chef has begun to outstrip one's actual abilities, one would do well to enroll in L'Academie de Cuisine's 20-week semi-professional program. Culinary Techniques 101, which is offered twice a year, focuses on learning to cook without recipes; instead, learning the techniques and thought processes that one needs to become a creative chef. I'll be updating occasionally with what I've learned from each session.

Week 3 focuses on soups, and because it is too hot to talk about butternut squash soup with maple, sage, and bacon (wait till October, and remind me if I forget), I'll now share with you how to make a gorgeous white gazpacho, which is a much better summertime dish. My instructor shared with us the list of ingredients, and I looked at epicurious.com for the approximate proportions, but didn't really measure anything, so please don't take the measurements as gospel.

White Gazpacho
half a stale baguette, ripped into bite-sized pieces
1 cups ice water
2 cups chicken stock
handful sliced almonds
2 cloves garlic
3/4 pound seedless green grapes
3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
several healthy shakes of Tabasco
1/2 cucumber, peeled, seeded and diced
6 oz sour cream (do not use fat-free; that stuff is revolting.)

Put this all in a blender and whirl it around. My blender wouldn't fit it all, so I put half the stuff in with the stock and half with the water, and stirred it up together in a big bowl afterwards. I now have enough gazpacho to last me through the week, unless someone else finds it in the fridge and snarfs it down first.

(The author started this entry with a rather grand tone involving what "one" ought to do, and ended with "snarf." She finds herself so entertaining.)

Mediterranean Red Snapper

My grandmothers are all very picky eaters, but in very different ways. My mother's mother has a long list of allergies and other diet-limiting conditions, so no one can blame her. My paternal grandmother, who lives here in DC and eats dinner with my parents (and often me) most Sundays, on the other hand, simply does not like vegetables.

She'll eat lettuce, carrots, cooked onions, asparagus and the occasional eggplant, but that's about it. This makes cooking a healthy and delicious meal rather a challenge on Sunday nights, and has inspired not only our creative efforts but also, in the case of this dish, our subversive humors.

You see, the vegetable that my paternal grandmother hates more than anything is squash. Yellow, green, pumpkin, or zucchini, she will at any restaurant return any dish served to her with squash anywhere on it. The thing is, my mom and I love the stuff. So, we sometimes find ways to sneak it in to dishes anyway.

Like this (adjust all proportions to taste):
4 lbs. fresh red snapper
3 large yellow onions
1.5 cups whole green olives, chopped in thirds
3 28 oz cans of diced tomatoes, drained (can use fresh as well)\
1 3.5 oz jar of capers
½ a yellow squash, chopped very fine (to hide)
1-2 tbs coarsely ground black pepper
1 tbs red pepper flakes
½ tsp. chopped garlic
Feta cheese
Olive oil

Chop and sautee onions in oil with the garlic and some salt.
Once the onions are soft, dump in the tomatoes, capers, squash, pepper and salt (to taste), cover and simmer 10-15 mins until the squash is done.
Salt and pepper the fish.
Ladle some of this sauce into a glass baking pan, lay the fish over it, and cover in the rest of the sauce. Top with about 8 oz. crumbled feta, and bake at 350 until done – 30-40 minutes.

Serve with a good, hearty bread or over rice.

Mid-Atlantic Fusion Bourne of Atlanta Exile

It’s summer, and for natives of (and most transplants to) the Mid-Atlantic region of the US, that means one thing more than any other: crab season! Whether consumed in a violent orgy of mallets and shells or more demurely in delicious cake form, this is the season for the yummy little bastards. The thing is, I up and moved to Atlanta, where crabs are just a one-night stand’s lasting impression, and mentioning “Old Bay” will just get you asked if you don’t mean “Green.”

As is so often the case, my salvation came by pure providence. I had purchased some crab meat from the grocery - the crappy packaged kind that looks like it ought to be fake but isn’t - and was planning to do something vaguely fritter-ish. But, before dinner could be considered, I was headed to the gym, and needed a pre-workout snack. I pulled down a handful of crackers, and dipped one in a fresh tub of hummus.

Lesson one: don’t buy store-brand hummus in a Southern grocery.

Panic-stricken - for if my snack went this badly I’d never have the focus to exercise - I reached for the first thing I could see to overwhelm the sour horror of that hummus-product. My crab purchase had been inspired, of course, by coming upon a tin of Old Bay at the market. It was now sitting on the counter, just before my eyes.

That experiment worked, so I experimented more. Using good hummus this time, I mixed in about 1/2 tablespoon of Old Bay per cup, and spooned the mixture into a small bowl. I fried the crab bits in an Old Bay-flour mix as well. Then I let them cool, dried them, arranged them around the hummus mixture (with Triscuits), and an hors d’ouvres plate was born!

Passin' round the basil

Groups of women sharing herbs. Sharing herbs is, in a cultural sense at least, what groups of women are *for*. Herbs for impressing a guy, herbs for bandaging up a kid, and herbs, historically at least, for when you don’t have the first and are in danger of the second. Women passing around herbs - it might as well be the definition of society.

My personal herb sharing network – ooh, that sounds so much more illicit than it actually is – says right now is the time to pass around some Basil. I know this because I got handed some this morning over the wall of my cube. Apparently the super hot weather we’ve been having has been perfect for Basil growin’, and now that it’s cooled down it’s time to munch before the plants start to do some crazy flowering.

But while gifting is all very well, what do you do with all that fresh Basil?

We asked Pee Jim, absurdly capable guide of Khmer ruins to high-ranking military officials in the Thailand university town of Burriram (it has its own market!) near the Cambodia border. And even tho as a devout Buddhist she often fasts after 12, she’s willing to do a bit of culinary creativity for the local monestary; feed the monks, get a blessing. But not the nuns – their major spiritual duty seems to be washing the dishes.

Pee Jim’s fried basil w/ chicken wings, adapted with a lot of internet help

Mix together:
1 tablespoon fish sauce
A bit of finely chopped lemongrass if you’ve got it.
10-15 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoons chopped fresh red chilis
quarter cup chopped cilantro
quarter cup rice whisky (or whatever sort you have around
2 tbsp olive oil (my addition)
2 tbsp of ketchup

Cut off the tips of a couple dozen wing, rinse and dry ‘em off, toss them into the marinade, and stick the whole thing in the fridge overnight. Grill or bake ‘em at 375 'till they're nice and crispy.

Holy basil is what you really want for this - but go for the smaller leaves of other varieties if you have to. Rinse off and dry your basil – lots and lots of it, and strip the leaves. I mean it about drying it well, squeeze it out between paper towels and lay it flat for a little while if you have to.

Get a nice big wok with a couple inches of peanut oil and heat it super hot, almost to smoking – a drop of water should spit all over the place. Then drop in handfuls of the leaves – they’ll only need a few seconds to get nice and crispy – and lift ‘em out with a slotted spoon to drain on a paper towel.

Gently mix together the leaves and wings to keep from crushing them. Toss in another handful of chopped red chilies – or you might want to saute the chilis up a bit first. A sprinkle of salt over the finished product…It’s a dish fit for a monk.

Bloody Pretentious Tacos

Tacos can’t possibly be pretentious, right? Wrong: when you find yourself at the farmers market and faced with $2 per pound ground lamb and gorgeous $3 tubs of pico de gallo, evil schemes begin to hatch. Those two ingredients in basket, I looked around for more markety goodness to add.

Ultimately I ended up heading home with a gorgeous looking poblano pepper and a bag of Vidalia onions (which I go through like crazy, as they are awesome), and started in the usual way: putting my ever-more-beautifully-seasoned pan on my seriously-underpowered stove to heat up. It takes about 6-8 minutes to get very hot, so I have time to chop.

--1 lb. ground lamb
--1 poblano pepper (diced)
--1/2 of a Vidalia onion (diced)
--Fish sauce
--Vegeta

Once the pan was hot enough, I added the meat and some salt, and reduced the heat to medium. When it was about halfway done, I drained most of the grease and added the peppers and onions, as well as a few shakes of fish sauce and a few of Vegeta. When it was almost done, I popped my soft flour tortillas in the microwave (unnecessary if you don’t keep them in the fridge/aren’t too lazy to make them fresh). I removed everything from the pan using a straining spoon, to minimize my grease consumption. It’s tasty, yeah, but I my arteries can only take so much!

I garnished the tacos with my lovely fresh pico de gallo, queso blanco, and a dash of hot sauce. They were delicious, and while pondering this it did occur to me that they were also ridiculous: Bloody Pretentious Tacos!

On A Fish Frenzy

Ever since the weather started reasonably cooperating, I've been on a grilled fish kick. I get home, and it's all I want to cook, since it's quick and outdoors, and all I want to eat, since it's fresh and light tasting. Plus, I've recently discovered (like MAW) that those Trader Joe's frozen fish fillets taste better than I ever expected.

Last Monday, I did tilapia. Since grilling makes me think of corn on the cob, I was brought to think of my favorite way of preparing the vegetable (namely, using lime butter with chili powder), and figured the combination of flavors would lend itself well to fish. Sure did - a squirt of lime juice, a dash of powder, a dollop of butter and everything came together. Served it with a roasted red potato with cumin, and steamed green beans.

This Monday, it was Mahi Mahi. I didn't go too crazy on the marinade (just a little salt and citrus), but I topped the fish with a salsa made of fresh tomatoes, avocado, lime, red onion and a little turkey bacon (namely because these were ingredients I needed to use up). A red wine risotto with spinach and peas served as my side (a bit indulgent, given the main course, but it seemed a good idea at the time).

Tonight, I gave cod a shot. I had one lone piece of prosciutto left from some appetizers I made recently. I soaked the fish in a bit of Worcestershire sauce, seasoned, and then wrapped the fish in the prosciutto. Cheated on the side dishes, though - frozen fries from TJ's coated in garlic salt, and a carrot/bean vegetable medly weren't inspired choices, but they were easy ones.

All these recipes, by the way, are thirty minute meals without the annoying acronyms and exclamations of "Yummo." Next week, I'm thinking my favorite tuna recipe - coated in red, black and white pepper, seared, and served over white beans simmered with sage. What's your favorite way to grill fish?

Taking the Easy Way

What can I say? I’m lazy. I want good, home-cooked food, but I don’t want to plan for it more than an hour (at most) in advance. Also because I’m lazy, I’ve become a bit addicted to the frozen, individually-wrapped fish fillets from the grocery store. It’s not the best quality fish, but bit’s relatively cheap and easy to deal with. Last night, I was pretty totally uninterested in going to the grocery store to pick up any items that might help make a meal out of my individually-wrapped mahi-mahi fillet, which I’d set out to defrost on a whim that morning.

So, I decided to see what I could do with what I already had lying about. (Luckily, I am aware of my own laziness, so I keep a pretty good stock of non-perishable basics lying about the pantry.) Here’s what I had:

4 oz. mahi-mahi fillet, thawed;
Lemon juice;
(Vietnamese) Fish sauce;
Garbanzo beans;
Leftover brown jasmine rice;
A mango;
Coconut milk;
Sugar;
Spices;
Olive oil;
Hot sesame oil.

I cut the fish in four, placed it in a bowl, and covered with lemon juice, adding about a teaspoon of fish sauce. I stirred it around, and then left it there, to consider next steps. While the fish marinated, I drained a can of garbanzos, adding about 1/3 of the can to a bowl and putting the rest away, and added about the same volume of rice to the bowl.

In a small glass, I mixed olive oil (about 3 tbs), a splash of sesame oil, and two splashed (maybe a teaspoon?) of lemon juice. I sprinkled in a couple shakes of dried basil, a couple of thyme, and a pinch of pepper.

I also put my pan on the stove, added some salt to it, and got it really, really hot.

By this time, the fish had been in the lemon juice about 15 minutes (I’d stirred and turned it every now and again too), so I removed it, patted it dry with a paper towel, and rubbed all sides with a little bit of basil.

I put the rice-and-garbanzo bowl in the microwave and set the timer for a minute, but didn’t start it, and then added some oil to my pan, followed by the fish. After a minute, I flipped the fish over, and hit start on the microwave. When it finished, I took out the bowl, tossed with my glass of dressing, and removed the fish on top of all that. Then, less than half an hour after I started, I ate, and it was really tasty.

Tasty, but I also wanted dessert. Hey, it’s finals week, I get dessert if I want it! After such a meal, the only dessert that I could think of wanting was mango sticky rice. But that takes time (and other ingredients)! Again, I improvised:

Cube half a medium-sized mango, and add to a bowl of pre-cooked rice. Add coconut milk to cover halfway, about a teaspoon-and-a-half sugar, and a pinch (a SMALL pinch) of ginger. Stir. Microwave one minute. Stir. Microwave one minute. Stir. Microwave 30 seconds. Stir. Eat!

See mom? Cutting corners really can get you places!

Midterms: Snack Within Reach

The thing you forget, when you’ve been out of school for a while, is how annoying exams can be: it’s not even that you don’t know the material or that it’s so difficult, it's just that they sneak up on you. And you worry about little things. Especially on take-homes, which seem like they ought to be easiest: even if the text sucks and you’ve skipped all semester so don’t have notes, Professor Google is available to rescue you. But the catch is (if you’re a bit OCD like me), that you spend a million years making sure every answer is perfect.

What’s this got to do with food, you ask? Well, studying brains need fuel, of course! And what with time constraints and general student poverty, studying brains need a certain kind of food: fast, cheap, and (preferably) healthy!

While working on a particularly unsavory take-home midterm (not a hard one at all – so easy and pointless, in fact, that it took Herculean effort to muster the will to do it), I decided I needed a slightly tastier lunch than the habitual bowl of Cheerios. I had a craving for my Haitian-not-grandmother’s red beans and rice, but she lives in DC and my time was short; real cooking was out of the question.

Surveying my kitchen for a suitable substitute, I found the following:

Leftover saffron rice;
Half of a Vidalia onion;
A can of red kidney beans (unsweetened);
Olive oil;
Hot sauce (I used Walkerswood Jonkanoo – another might be better for the less masochistic chef) ;
Garlic salt;
Turmeric.

And, of course, the lazy chef’s ultimate hero: a microwave.

I took a bunch of the rice, added about half the can of beans, and nuked that in a bowl for 2 minutes to get everything nice and warm (not very hot, though that’s up to you). Then, I chopped onion until I had about 2 handfuls worth. I added that, a couple tablespoons of olive oil, and a tablespoon or so of hot sauce to the rice and bean bowl.

I stirred, added garlic salt and black pepper till it seemed right, a bit of turmeric, and ate it.

I was soon much happier, and managed to finish that evil bloody midterm.

Tandoori Thai Eggplant Bites

Hosting a party can be stressful. I have a horrible tendency of setting a date, making the guest list and sending out invitations, not to mention planning music and making CDs, well in advance, only to find myself in a messy apartment with an empty fridge the morning of said event. As a result, my parties tend to rely more on the right mix of music, booze, and people (and often, explosives) rather than gourmet munchies.

Not that this has ever really been a problem, but sometimes I feel like I should at least have some quick-and-easy hors d’ouvres recipes lying around, for emergencies. And sometimes, homework is not nearly as appealing as a trip to the farmers market followed by experimentation in the kitchen.

Today was one of those times, and even though I don’t plan to host any parties for a good while, I ended up making (for dinner) a dish that I’ll be more than happy to serve at my next soirée. Assuming I remember to make it.

Like nearly everything I make, this was done on the fly, so I encourage people to fiddle with it all to get what you want.

Ingredients:
Thai eggplants (I used 6, which was plenty for my dinner),
2 tbs. Tandoori spice powder (I used Sharwood's),
2.5 tbs. Champagne vinegar,
2 tbs. lemon juice,
4 tbs. olive oil.

Preheat your oven to 350.

Decapitate your eggplants, and cut them in half. Mix all the other stuff together in a glass, and spoon enough of it over each eggplant slice (the inside side, not the skin side) to cover the whole surface. Put that in the oven for about 17 minutes, remove and let cool.

You could marinate the eggplant in the sauce for a more powerful flavor, but I think that might be a bit much, and make it a less appealing finger food.

See? Tasty and fancy-sounding hors d’ouvres in just 20 minutes!

Chipotle Spiked Sautee

I have a thing for hot sauces. Ok, well, actually I'm a sucker for odd sauces and spices in general, but I'm especially fond of hot ones. Knowing this, my sister presented me, as my Christmukkah present, a Hot Sauce of the Month subscription. This month's shipment included a mild selection, Tres Hermanos Chipotle Hot Sauce.

I love chipotles, but I find it hard to use them without making a dish seem forcibly "Mexican," which can be good or not, depending on my mood. Sometimes though, inspiration (by which I mean experimentation born of boredom) strikes, and something yummy results.

Tonight, I was sauteeing up some portobellas and onions, when the whole dish just struck me as d-u-l-l DULL. Looking about my spice rack for a jazzing-up ingredient, I noticed the Tres Hermanos bottle just sitting there, eying me. Daring me to make a move. (Anyone who knows me knows I probably won't back down from a dare)

In went the chipotle, and up went my interest! Here's what I did:

1 lb. portobello mushrooms, cubed.
1 large yellow onion, roughly diced.
1.5 cups tawny port.
1/2 cup Tres Hermanos Chipotle Hot Sauce
Olive oil, salt, pepper.

Add the mushrooms first to a sautee pan, and get them going for a bit. When they're about 1/3 done, add the onions. At the same time pour in the port, and add more salt and pepper, to taste. Reduce heat to low. After a minute or so, add the hot sauce, and stir.

When the veggies are good and done, remove them from the pan with a slotted spoon, and set them aside. Now up the heat, and reduce the remaining sauce to about 1/4 its volume (deglaze if you like).

Serve the mushrooms and onions over rice, garnishing with reduced sauce. Adding garlic at the same time as the port might be nice, but I didn't think it was missing. You could also add steak to this, for a heartier dish.

Adventures in Christmas Cooking: Tofu Wellington

Despite being Jewish, Christmas is a big deal in my family. Essentially, we treat it like a Jewish holiday: an opportunity to get together lots of extended family for tons of food, lots of wine, and the occasional, uhm, heated discussion. This year, my mother had decided that we were going to have beef Wellington for Christmas dinner, an option which certainly appealed to me.

The thing is, early on Christmas afternoon, as we were preparing the beef, it occurred that one of the cousins coming to dinner is a vegetarian, and banishing her to mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce just didn’t seem OK. So, vague schemes in mind, I set out to the grocer for inspiration and ingredients. There I purchased tofu, garlic, and Italian parsley; I’d wanted spinach, but they had none.

By the time I got home, my plan was hatched. This is what I had:

1 block extra firm tofu, well-drained and sliced in half (lengthwise)
5 cloves garlic
3/4 cup water and 1 cube veggie bullion (or 3/4 cup stock)
olive oil
sherry vinegar
Italian parsley
Cremini and shitake mushrooms (mostly cremini)
Half an onion
Garlic
Puff pastry shell
Eggs, beaten with a little water
Salt and pepper.

Preheat the oven to 425.

First, I minced 4 cloves garlic, added the stock/bullion with a a handful of parsley, some oil, and a splash of vinegar. I put the tofu (cut down the center to make two thinner blocks, side-by-side) in this and covered it to marinate at room temperature.

Next, I chopped the mushrooms and onion. I sautéed them in olive oil with salt, pepper, and some garlic. I set that aside in the refrigerator.

When the tofu had marinated a couple of hours (more might have been nice), I poured off the marinade into a large frying pan, and then added the tofu, which I sautéed over low-medium heat for about 15 minutes per side. When finished, I drained and placed it in the refrigerator.

While that cooled, I sautéed the remaining parsley in oil and more vinegar, with the remaining clove of garlic (minced), and put that in the fridge to cool.

Then, when everything was cool, I rolled out the pastry shell, layering as follows: mushroom mix, one half of the tofu, parsley, the second half of the tofu, and some more mushroom-mix. I wrapped it up, using the egg mix as paste, painted egg mix all over the outside, and cooked until pastry was golden - about 30 minutes.

The result was a hit with even non-vegetarian guests, and disappeared rather swiftly.

You can re-create the beef version of this in obvious ways, though I suggest dropping the parsley and adding a layer of Boursin, or something similar to it.

Couscous for Breakfast

Inspired by Claudia Roden's gorgeous Moroccan/Lebanese/Turkish cookbook Arabesque, I turned the kitchen into a minor disaster last night, with completely worth-it results. Lamb Tagine with Apricots and Eggplant with Yogurt and Pomegranate may take three hours to cook if you have to reduce pomegranate juice into pomegranate molasses yourself, but I loved every second of it. Plus your kitchen will still smell amazing the next day.

It was this smell that inspired me to open up the same cookbook this morning in search of something sweetish and starchy for breakfast. I ended up adapting the recipe for "Sweet Couscous" into something a little less impressive (I didn't, for example, shape it into cones or decorate it), but much easier to do first thing in the morning.

Boil 1 cup of water, and stir in 1 tablespoon of sugar. (You can skip the sugar if you have remembered to buy confectioner's sugar--just sprinkle it on at the end in that case.) When sugar has completely dissolved, turn off heat and stir in 1 cup of plain couscous. Let it stand for about ten minutes to allow water to absorb, then stir in 1/4 stick of butter cut into small pieces. (If your couscous has gotten cold you can stick it in the oven to warm it up first.) Fluff it up a little with a fork, and serve with honey and cinnamon, and maybe dried fruit.

Vegetarian Sauce Provinçial

A few weeks ago I decided to treat myself to my own version of Mom Krasnow’s Sauce Provinçial – minus the meat. Instead, I added something that every vegetarian loves (provided you mix it with something that actually has a taste) Tofu. Also added a few side dishes and an apéritif.

According to Wikopedia an aperitif is an alcoholic drink usually used as an appetizer before a large meal. Though I usually eat light, I’m sure the folks at Wikopedia won’t mind me saying I had one before I went vegetarian hog-wild on my small course.

For my first culinary feat I sought out the cheapest bottle of white wine that I could find at Giant. So for $4.99 I picked up a bottle of Funky Llama chardonnay, which hails from Argentina, a country actually known for its wine. According to the company that makes the wine, its wines “are a clean expression of our land, lively, fresh, and flavorful.”

To see if Funky Llama is what the makers say, I poured about six ounces of the chardonnay in a wine glass then added a pinch of Cassis. The result is a drink with a sweat and tangy taste all rolled up in one. It was, well, it made me want to go back to Argentina to see La Boca, a neighborhood in Buenos Aires with multi-colored houses. Unfortunately I missed this attraction last time I visited.

Kir (aperitif)
white wine (a glass, i.e., 6-8 oz)
Cassis (less than half a tspn, the less the better)

Squash Con Nada
Squash (two)
Pam no-stick cooking spray

Pre-heat your oven to at least 350 degrees F. Cut the washed squash into half-inch rings. Cover a pan with tin foil and spray it with Pam. Put the squash rings in the pan. Let the squash heat for a half an hour or until it’s ready.

Naked String Beans
String beans (3/4 lb)

Remove the ends from the washed string beans. Place them in a steamer with boiling water. Let the string beans heat for 15 –20 minutes, or until they are ready. Drain the water.

Sauce Provinçial a-la Tofu
Olive oil (two tbsn)
Onion, big white (one, chopped)
Minced garlic (one tbsn)
Vermouth (1/2 cup)
Black olives (6-8 oz)
Tofu cubed (4-5 oz)

Add olive oil and chopped onions to frying pan. Allow the onions to sauté for an hour. Add garlic, vermouth, black olives, and tofu. Sauté the items until they are heated and blended. Don’t forget to put in the olives like I did. They’re the best part.

This post is by Guest Bogger Jay D. Krasnow from www.hyperactivestyle.com. Thanks Jay!

Thai Curried Pumpkin Soup

We’ve reached that time of year again: when it gets really cold outside and the daylight ends really early. It’s that time when you look out the window at work, and even though it’s only five o’clock, it feels like nine o’clock, and all you can think is “I gotta get the hell out of here!” When it gets this cold outside, I usually think about two things: getting a job in Arizona, and cooking comfort food. So since there are no job postings on this site, I thought I’d post some good recipes in the coming days that are really simple to make at home, have great taste and flavour, and comfort you on these Arctic nights we’ve been having. Call it the musings of the Five Ingredient Bitter Winter Chef (with all apologies to the Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic).

Generally, I like to make some good soups and braises in the winter, so that’s what I’m going to start with. Today’s recipe is for a Curried Squash & Apple soup. I was bored in the kitchen one day, and kind of threw it together, and ever since then, the fiancée orders me to make this about once every month and a half. So here we go. First, the ingredients:

One fresh butternut squash or pumpkin
One medium-sized onion
One or two tart apples (Granny Smith, Braeburn, etc.)
Stock of your choice
Thai Curry Paste (I recommend Mae Ploy Brand)

There are three kinds of curry pastes – red, yellow, and green. The green is the spiciest, followed by the red, and then the yellow. You can usually find it in the Asian food aisle of your local grocery store, especially if that store happens to be Whole Foods, Wegmans, or oddly enough, the Giant near the Rhode Island Avenue Metro station. These are your five main ingredients, but you’ll also need some salt, pepper, a little cinnamon, and some cream (or half & half) to finish with. Once you have what you need, here’s how you do it.

First off, cut the butternut squash (or pumpkin) in half lengthwise, and remove the seeds & “strings.” Put the squash (or pumpkin) halves cut side down on a sheet pan, and put in the oven for about forty-five minutes at three hundred seventy-five degrees. While the squash is roasting, peel and dice the onion and the apples in a small dice. To keep the apples from browning, you can put them in a bowl of water with a little bit of lemon juice until they’re needed.

Once the squash (or pumpkin) is finished roasting, remove it from the oven and let it rest for a few minutes. Scoop the squash out of the skin, and put it in a bowl temporarily. Heat some butter or oil in a heavy saucepan and sauté the onion until translucent but not brown. Once the onions are sautéed, add some curry paste, squash, and the apple, and mix thoroughly. Add the stock of your choice, and bring the whole mixture to a boil. Once the mixture has come to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer it until the apples, squash, and onion are tender (about fifteen to twenty minutes).

Using a blender (immersion or regular), blend (or purée) the soup until it is a uniform consistency. Add some salt, pepper, a little cinnamon (little is the operative word here, as you don’t want this to be a sweet soup) and some cream (or half & half). The cream will add some body, and also lighten the soup’s colour. Taste and adjust seasonings, curry paste, etc. to taste. That’s all there is to it – very simple, and very satisfying. My next recipe will be for a dynamite braise that uses Manischewitz wine (yes, I know, I know – most people would rather drink motor oil, but you won’t be drinking it, and trust me, you’ve never had anything quite like this before). Stay tuned!

Do you have a particular ingredient that you’d like to figure out a way to use? If so, drop me a line and let me know, and I’ll put a tested recipe up in this column.

Feast on a Dish from the Southern Cone

I must confess that Chile has been on my mind lately. Not the food. The distant string bean-shaped country where I spent my study abroad. Maybe it’s because I’ve taken up Latin dancing again. Maybe it’s because I’ve been serving up my Chilean favorites at my parties and my guests have been, well, eating them up.

One of them, DCFUD’s own Mad Rambler Jason, encouraged me to take on a daunting culinary task (at least for me): write out the recipes for my Latin creations. One of my specialties has always been tomaticán, a traditional, spicy Chilean dish. Tomaticán –and just about any other Chilean dish – is often paired with pisco sour, a concoction made with pisco, the Chilean national drink. I’ve come up with my own twist for both food and drink and am printing them the first time for DCFudies.

PORTER SIRLOIN TOMATICAN
(makes six - eight servings)

• 17 Roma tomatoes (chopped)
• 1 can of whole peeled tomatoes (approximately 28 oz.)
• 3 cans of whole kernel corn (approximately 15 oz)
• 1 heaping tbsp pepper.
• 3 large yellow onions (chopped)
• 1 ¾ lb of porter sirloin steak (chopped)

Start by tossing the chopped tomatoes in a large pot. Add the whole peeled tomatoes and pepper. Tomaticán is supposed to be hot and spicy. So if you don’t get enough of a hot foot when tasting it, add more pepper to your liking. Let the tomatoes simmer on medium for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the corn and onions. Let the pot simmer for about five more minutes and continue to stir. Add the chopped sirloin and lower the temperature to low. Heat the tomaticán for 15 minutes (or until the sirloin is cooked), then remove from the stove. Voila … now it’s onto the pisco sour.

PISCO SOUR MAPUCHE
(makes eight servings)

The Mapuche were known to the Spaniards as the fierce Indian tribe that inhabited Chile during the Age of Discovery. The Mapuche more than gave the Spaniards a run for their money, they held them off and the Europeans never defeated them. You could say the Mapuche really gave the Iberians a kick in the – well you get the idea. This drink is a homage of sorts to the Mapuche, who still may be found in Central and Southern Chile. Most people make pisco with lemon juice. I make it with lime. Before you get grossed out by the idea of using egg whites in a drink just remember that it’s not much different idea than eggnog. If the thought of putting raw eggs in your drink grosses you out. Then use Egg Beater egg whites like I do).

• 12 oz pisco
• 6 oz limejuice
• 8 tbsp egg white
• 8 tbsp sugar
• 1 lime flavored cherry (per glass of pisco sour Mapuche, after drink is poured.
• 13 chocolate chips.
• 15 ice cubes
• 6 oz Code Red Mountain Dew

To make the drink add all ingredients to a blender. Blend until the ice is chopped and white foam is floating to the top. Pour six to eight ounce of the pisco mix in a glass and add one lime-flavored cherry. You’re all set for a Chilean dinner party. Dinner is usually served close to 8 PM in Chile, but I usually can’t wait that late. Dine when your guests arrive.

This post is by Guest Bogger Jay D. Krasnow. Thanks Jay!

Talkin' Turkey

Thanksgiving is less than ten short days away. It's a time for many of us to go back to our hometowns, eat a nice dinner with our family and sit down to converse with our loved ones next to a roaring fireplace.

Sure...if you were born in a greeting card.

Truth be told, most of us shove copious amounts of poorly-cooked food down our gullets, play some football with Uncle Mel and his 5 demon offspring in the front yard, sit in uncomfortable silence as Aunt Louise decides that now - during the halftime show of the Cowboys' game - is the time to come out of the closet in front of a completely unshocked family, but much to the dismay of Grandma, who just thinks she hasn't found the right man yet, and then plan on waking up at 5 in the morning to take advantage of the Black Friday specials at the mall.

OK, maybe that's just my brood, but, let's face it, lots of us have families less like the Huxtables and more like the Griswolds. And our Thanksgiving dinners have more in common with Paula Zahn than Paula Dean. So, here's a quick survival guide for Thanksgiving `06.

1) Let the neighborhood grocery store do the cooking for you. Giant, Magruder's, Wegman's , Shopper's, Bloom - they can all prepare a meal for you and your guests, ready to heat and serve on Thanksgiving Day. It's often a little bit pricier than making it yourself, but, it's also a lot less prep work and clean-up time. If you want something a little less traditional, try swinging by the local Asian market, like Great Wall off Gallows Road, for a roasted duck or crispy fish.

2) If the idea of Safeway cooking your bird frightens you, at least follow their recipe. The Two-Hour method of cooking a turkey is a fantastic way to ensure a crispy skin and juicy meat, and still make it thoroughly cooked. Gone are the days of slow-roasting a bird all Wednesday night to eat Thursday afternoon - just follow Safeway's handy reference chart to match the cooking time with the size of your turkey.

My only suggestion would be to use a heavy-duty cooking bag. This will trap in the juices from the meat and will make your broiling pan a lot easier to clean.

Plus, don't stuff your stuffing in the bird. It slows down the cooking process for both the stuffing and the turkey, and can spread bacteria. Simply use a baking pan separate from the turkey to cook your glorified Stove-Top.

3) Just go out for dinner. McCormick and Schmick's locations serve a legendary Thanksgiving spread, as do several of the downtown hotels and restaurants. This might also be a great time to get prime seats in a hot ethnic eatery. Remember that Thanksgiving evening is a big going-out night, and that many bars will fill up with folks who've had about as much family as they can handle for the day. Get your grub early, and you should be fine.

And, if you need to go home and have zero control over the meal...

4) Remember that xanax is not just for breakfast anymore. Sneak a pack of Ramen noodles in your suitcase, and dress it up with some of the more edible leftovers.

When you get back to the area, stop off at Summer's by the Courthouse Metro. Besides being a fine place to watch both football and futbol, they make one of the finest turkey burgers you'll ever have. Perfectly seasoned, not over-cooked - when was the last time anybody gushed over a turkey burger? This is one seriously good sandwich, and should be enough to cure your turkey jones.

Why did no one tell me about this before?

A couple of weeks ago, the boy and I attended a "Cooking for Two" class at L'Academie de Cuisine. I'll be posting more on that later, but first, here's the most important thing we learned; the highest and best use of your freezer....

Compound butter. It's butter, bacon, garlic, shallots, and parmesan cheese, all mixed together. You can whip up a batch in ten minutes, then you stick it in the freezer and cut off hunks of it for literally whatever you want. So far I have had it on a baguette, and also mixed it with rosemary and stuffed it under the skin of a roasting chicken. The instructor at L'Academie also recommended we melt it and toss it in cooked pasta. I plan to never be without it again.

2 sticks softened, salted butter
At least half a cup of parmesan cheese
1 shallot, finely chopped
3 strips bacon, cooked until crisp and finely chopped
2 cloves garlic (use a press)

Mash it all up, then stick it all in a food processor if you like. I didn't, and the texture was fine. Also, I didn't use salted butter, so I had to toss some salt in later.

Fall Curry

Like Borat says, “In my country, we have a problem…” That problem is that people seem to think that pumpkins are only for Halloween, and even then only for Jack-o-lanterns. People make ‘pumpkin pies’ with canned processed pumpkin-product too, but that doesn’t count and is not anything I will address today. I make a killer pumpkin pie from scratch, but have not done so recently. I am lazy.

I love pumpkin as a food, and today at the Dekalb Farmers Market, possibly aka ‘Valhalla,’ I could resist neither the $1.29 ‘pie’ pumpkins, nor the on-sale stewing beef at $2.00 a pound. I also had at home a box of S&B Golden Curry mix (Hot), which I’d been itching to try out. Loosely following the directions on the box, I did the following:

To a large saucepan add:
- One large Vidalia onion, chopped.
- One Serrano pepper, chopped. Actually, I would have preferred more heat: use three.
- One and a half pounds of stewing beef. Next time I may use goat, as its stronger flavor may benefit this dish.
- A drizzle of sesame oil.

Sautee all that until the meat is browned - about 3 minutes. Then, add:
- the meat of one medium ‘pie’ pumpkin (cubed)
- five cups of water
- one cup of beer (I used Kirin Ichiban)
- Some celery salt,
and turn up the heat until the liquid boils. Reduce to a simmer, and stir occasionally until the meat is done and pumpkin is tender (about 13-15 minutes).

Now, remove the pot from the heat, add the curry paste, and stir until it dissolves. Put it back on the burner, and simmer 5-6 minutes more, at which point add a few tablespoons of tapioca starch (or your thickener of choice), stir, and simmer a few minutes more.

Serve over rice…I used brown jasmine, which was lovely.

As I suggested, I think I would have liked this spicier, but that’s a matter of taste, and overall the mix works really well. Using pumpkin this way is exceptionally tasty, and may surprise diners not accustomed to the gourd outside of pies and without candles inside.

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful: Asian Food

Well, it's getting to be that time, during the dog days of summer, when the temperature drops below 350, and it's worthwile to get grilling again. Instead of the usual barbecue fare (not that there's anything wrong with that), I thought I'd share a recipe that's very simple, yet very exotic at the same time. I first encountered this at my best friend's place in North Carolina. My best friend's wife is Vietnamese, so a lot of Vietnamese food is made down there. The dish is called Bún Thịt Nướng, and while it is usually made with pork, I do it with beef because I think it's a better flavour (ingredients are listed at the end of this article).

The first step to preparing Bún Thịt Nướng, is to have your best friend's wife and her mother argue for several hours about how the dish should be made. You see, we have a "two Vietnamese/three opinions" scenario here.

Once that's done, you will want to cut the beef roast into one inch strips, mix them with the onion, garlic, and marinade, toss everything to ensure an even coating, and let the beef marinate overnight in the fridge.

The next day, you'll need to prepare a few things before the meat is grilled. First, you'll want some rice noodles (the bún in the name of this dish refers to a form of rice vermicelli). These noodles will be boiled like normal pasta, then run under cold water to chill them (in this dish, only the beef is hot). If you'd like, you can roll the noodles into little "nests" to make them easier to take off the serving platter.

You'll also want some salad fixings. This is pretty flexible, and you can put whatever you'd like in there. I usually use cucumber, carrots, and basil (if you can get it, Thai Basil is authentic to the dish, but if not, regular Italian Basil will also work). Skewer the meat on some wooden or bamboo skewers that have been soaked in water for some time (the soaking ensures that the skewer will not catch fire). When skewering the meat, put some of the onion pieces onto the skewers as well. Grill the meat and onion skewers until the meat is done (approximately eight minutes per side over high heat).

Once the meat is done, bring everything to the table, and make a bowl for yourself. Use some rice noodles, salad fixings, deskewer your desired amount of beef and onions, and top the whole thing with the dressing (instructions are below). It's light, yet filling, and perfect for this time of year. This dish also works well for hot weather, as it's surprisingly refreshing.

For this recipe, you will need:

• 3 Lbs Beef (I use a mix of London Broil & Chuck Roasts)
  
• Onions (cut into chunks large enough to be skewered)
  
• Garlic (To Taste, Minced)
  

• 2 Tbsp Vegetable Oil
  
• 3 Tbsp Soy Sauce
  
• 1/4 Cup Sugar, Dissolved in 1/2 Cup of Water
  

The dressing will be made from nước mắm, which is a Vietnamese fish sauce (any fish sauce will do, and they're usually sold in the international aisle of your local supermarket). Most fish sauces are made from anchovies, but, it's possible that some of them are made from shellfish. If you're allergic to shellfish, read the ingredients. When finished, this sauce will not taste fishy at all, it will be a perfect balance of sweet, savoury, salty, and spicy.

To make this dressing, mix the following ingredients together:

• 1 Cup Water
  
• 1/4 Cup nước mắm (fish sauce)
  
• 1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
  
• 1/3 Cup Sugar
  
• 2 Tsp Chili Garlic Sauce (found in the Asian Food section of your supermarket - I use Lee Kum Kee brand)
  

Wine Pairing:

I would pair this dish with a crisp refreshing white wine. A nice Riesling would go very well, as would a good Spanish Albarino.

Experimental Sauce

Upon noting that the farmers market was charging a mere $0.49 per pound for baby bok choi, I decided that it was time to attempt a recreation of a dish I had a few years ago. The dish was roasted duck breast with baby bok choi in a vodka-hoisin sauce. Being a grad student, I can't afford duck, especially for a first try of a new dish, so I figured I'd just do the bok choi.

A second catch: upon arriving home, I realized that the only vodka I have is of the flavored variety....ew. I figured, "I'm making this up anyways, why not make it up some more?" and I did. The results were quite tasty, and the sauce is one that I plan on keeping around for a number of dishes in the future.

Steam about 2 pounds of baby bok choi, rinse with cold water (and ice, if possible) and set aside.

In a mixing cup, mix 2 parts hoisin sauce (I used Lee Kum Kee), one part shochu (good luck finding this in the US - substitute vodka or sake if needed), and one part vegetable stock. Heat the mixture and stir until fully blended. Adjust proportions until it tastes good.

To serve, you can do what I did, or what I would rather have done.

What I did:
Cut bok choi in half, put in a large bowl, and toss with the sauce.

What I would rather have done:
Arrange bok choi on a serving dish, and drizzle sauce over them.

Enjoy!

Rice you can drink

Such precious first memories: the first class of 7th grade, the first guy you turned down, the first time you heard the White Stripes. If you're young enough, they may have all happened within the same hour. And yet, all these pale in comparison to the first time you drink Roasted Rice Tea.

Ooooh that toasty nuttiness. That sweet starchiness. That warm, brown aroma of chestnuts and smoke. It's possible that this is the most perfect of liquids.

But first, the evidence. The Japanese word Genmaicha technically translates as Popcorn Tea and I don’t know why. It's definitely made out of green tea (bancha) combined with roasted rice grains (genmai) ...maybe they were being poetic? It's lower in caffeine, and of course, it tastes awesome.
I get mine at Oriental Supermarket on the Rockville Pike where they have a four or five different brands. As I type, I am sucking down Yamamotoyama's lovely version, but all of them are delectable.

But for those of you unwilling to spend the $1.75 for a box, here's what to do:

Roasted rice green tea
Put 2 tablespoons of basmati rice in a small, cast-iron skillet and set over a low flame. Stir them until they turn patchy-dark and give out a nice roasted aroma. Don't burn 'em no matter how cool that would be!

Put the kernels into a small pot. Add 4 cups boiling water and two teaspoons of good quality green tea- two teabags work too. Simmer for 1 minute. Cover, and turn off the heat. Let the tea steep for 3 minutes, then scoop the liquid off. Or strain- whatever floats your thing.

Who Needs Tallula, Anyway?

As much as we must applaud restaurants that update their menu to reflect seasonal ingredients or new experiments by the chef, it's always a disappointment when a favorite dish disappears. This happened to me at Tallula, a favorite brunch spot of mine. Sadly, they no longer serve their short ribs and cheesy grits on their brunch menu.

So when the meat guy at the Arlington Farmer's Market was offering, among other things, short ribs, I decided that the only accompaniment could be cheesy grits. Though my recipe doesn't precisely invoke Tallula's (it's less spicy, for one, and doesn't feature any green tomatoes), it has a rich, full-bodied flavor and provides the same kind of comfort that my former favorite brunch dish did.

Bourbon Spiked Short Ribs
6 short ribs (from Farmer's Market)
flour
salt
pepper
2 cloves garlic, crushed
some bourbon (a half cup or so)
oil
white pepper
beef stock (you need almost one of those refrigerator-sized cartons)
thyme
red wine (just a little)
handful of chopped carrots
2 red potatoes, chopped
handful of cherry tomatoes (from Farmer's Market)
some chopped parsley

Season short ribs with salt and pepper and dredge with flour. Brown in olive oil. Deglaze pan with bourbon. Add all ingredients except broth to a casserole. Pour broth over casserole just below submerging point. Braise for 2.5 hours.

Cheesy Grits
1 cup polenta
1 cup heavy cream
5 cups water
salt
dash of tabasco sauce
1 cup shredded aged cheddar (from Farmer's Market)

Combine water and polenta in pot. Bring to boil, then simmer for twenty minutes. Add a generous amount of salt. Stir in cream, cheese and tabasco. Heat through.

Serve ribs over grits. I added a side of steamed spinach.

What to Cook When The A/C Breaks

Our Supper Club themes are usually thoughtfully chosen, for reasons like, "Well, soon Mab is getting married, so let's surprise her with a bridal shower, and while we're at it, why don't we make it a gourmet brunch? I'll make the scrambled eggs, you bring the caviar," or "It's cold outside--let's melt a whole bunch of cheese!" This time our theme was "Jocelyn just bought a new table, and it looks vaguely Asian--hey, have we done Thai yet?"

Here are some (but by no means all) of the highlights from Supper Club Thai:

Heather's Green Papaya Salad

1 green papaya (tip: buy your papaya at a Chinese grocer, and make sure it is labed "green papaya" )
1/2 cup honey-roasted peanuts (or plain roasted)
approx. 1 cup bean sprouts
1 to 2 tomatoes, cut into long thin strips
1 red chilli, diced (seeds removed if you prefer a milder salad)
3 spring onions, sliced into long matchstick-like pieces
1/2 cup fresh basil, roughly chopped if leaves are large

DRESSING:
1/2 tsp. shrimp paste (if vegetarian, substitute with 1 Tbsp. vegetarian fish sauce, or soy sauce)
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 Tbsp. fish sauce (if vegetarian, use vegetarian fish sauce)
2 Tbsp. lime juice
1 tsp. honey

PREPARATION:
Prepare the dressing by mixing together all ingredients in a cup. Make sure shrimp paste dissolves fully. Set aside.
Peel the green papaya, then slice it in half and remove all the white seeds.
Using the "fattest" grater you have, grate the papaya (or you can use a potato peeler to create ribbon-like strips). Place in a large bowl. Add the sliced tomato, spring onion, chilli, bean sprouts, and most of the basil. Add the dressing, tossing to combine.
Add the peanuts. Toss again, and do a taste test. If you've used honey-coated peanuts, the salad should be sweet enough (if not, add a little more honey or brown sugar, as desired). If not salty enough, add a little more fish sauce. Turn onto a platter, and sprinkle with remaining basil leaves. Serve immediately.

Kristen's Coconut Sticky Rice with Mangoes

3 cups sticky rice
2 1/2 cups coconut milk
3/4 cup palm sugar
pinch salt
4 ripe mangoes

Soak the rice overnight (or as long as you've got time for) in half a cup coconut milk and enough water to cover the rice. When you're ready to start cooking, steam the rice in a rice-cooker. Meanwhile, heat the coconut milk over medium heat, and stir in the sugar and salt. When the sugar is all dissolved, and the rice is cooked, stir one cup of the liquid into the rice. Let it sit for a while so all the flavors meld. Peel the mangoes and cut into big slices. Place the mango slices on top of the rice, add the rest of the coconut milk, and serve. The leftovers are fabulous - hot or cold - for breakfast the next morning.

Jocelyn's "Tom Kha Gai" - Coconut Lemongrass soup w/ Chicken

1 lemongrass stem
4 lemon leaves (I couldn't find these, so I didn't use
them)
1 piece galanga (available frozen in most Asian
supermarkets)
8 oz mushrooms
2 tomatoes
1-2 ts chilli paste
1 lb chicken fillets
13 fl oz coconut milk
4 tb lemon juice
4 tb fish sauce

Cut lemongrass into 3 cm long pieces, fold lemon leaves, wash galanga and slice.
Cut mushrooms into half. Dice tomatoes.
Slice chicken fillets. Heat coconut milk and add lemongrass. Simmer coconut milk for two minutes.
Pour in 3/4 l (1 1/4 pts) water and heat. Add chicken, mushrooms and tomatoes and simmer for five minutes.
Season with chilli paste, fish sauce and lemon juice.
Remove lemongrass and lemon leaves before serving.

Oh, and one other thing--if you're throwing a Thai dinner party at your house, and your a/c breaks, just remember, Thai food is supposed to be served in a tropical locale! Just turn up the music and pretend you planned it that way all along.

Argentine-Style Beef Empanadas

Various events are hosted through "MeetinDC” , the local chapter of the larger social group "Meetin.org”. I recently hosted a "Mine & Yours” event through the group. The concept behind the Mine & Yours events is that one or two people demonstrate a favorite recipe, and the other participants do the same at a later date. I demonstrated a version of my family’s Argentine-style beef empanadas.

I use pre-made dough, and prefer to bake the empanadas. I use the La Salteña brand of empanada dough because there is plastic between the layers of dough, making the individual pieces of dough easier to separate. The La Salteña empanada dough is imported from Argentina, and is available at local Latin Markets, including Euro-Latino Grocery in Arlington, where the product is $3.49, and includes 20 pieces of dough.

I use a Pocket Gourmet Dough Press to seal the dough, but you can use a fork to seal the edges. I purchased the Pocket Gourmet at an As Seen on TV store in New York, but the one in the Ballston-Common Mall does not carry them. A google search for the product will come up with various places you can order your Pocket Gourmet, which generally includes three different sizes of dough press.

Jason’s version of Argentine-style (baked) beef empanadas:

• 1 lb. chopped sirloin
  
• A small amount of oil to sauté the ingredients
  
• One small yellow onion
  
• ¼ cup dark raisins
  
• ¼ cup green olives stuffed with pimentos, cut in half.
  
• One coarsely chopped hardboiled egg
  
• Salt, pepper, and ground cumin to taste. I probably use about 1/8 of a teaspoon of both cumin and ground black pepper
  
• One package of La Salteña brand empanada dough. Get the version intended for baking. You can buy the version intended for frying, if you prefer to fry your empanadas.

Sauté the chopped onions until they are translucent. Add the chopped meat, salt, pepper, and cumin, and sauté until it is browned evenly. Add the raisins, olives, and hardboiled egg. Refrigerate the mixture until is it cool or the dough will not retain it's shape while you are trying to stuff it. I sometimes make the filling the day before. Use 2 or 3 tablespoons of mixture per piece of dough. Keep a cup of water handy, and dip your finger in the water, and then touch the inside edge of the dough prior to sealing. Moistening the inside edge of the dough will help the dough stay sealed. Then close the empanada (into a half moon shape) and use a fork to press down all around the outside edge in order to seal it. This will form a pattern of lines going away from the empanada.

Place the empanadas on an oiled cookie sheet, and bake at 350 degrees until done, which should take approximately 20-25 minutes. You should turn the empanadas over when one side is brown, maybe halfway through the cooking time.

The empanadas are either served with a salad, or as appetizers.

Euro-Latino Grocery
2700 Pershing Dr. (at Washington Blvd.)
Arlington, Va.
703-524-6800.
Hours: Monday-Saturday: 9 am. to 8 pm. Sunday: 9 am. to 1 p.m.

Milk in the raw, part 2

Vegas marriages, loud parties in a small apartment building, and raw, unpasteurized milk. All of these are things with a finite lifespan. The milk in particular needs to be imbibed within two or three days after squirting out of the cow, before terrible terrible things happen to it... and to your insides.

If you've already drunk all you can of that sweet sweet white stuff, here's what to do with the rest.

Flan (inspired by Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything)

2 cups milk. If you really are using unpasturized, scald it first (heat to small bubbles form around the edges), otherwise get super organic 2% or whole milk from a natural foods store. It makes a difference. really.

1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
grated zest of 1/3 lemon
2 large eggs plus two large egg yolks
1/3 - 1/2 cup sugar, according to taste

First make the caramel:

1. In a heavy frying pan heat 1 cup sugar over medium heat, stirring occasionally but mostly just leaving it alone until it liquefies and turns a warm brown (caramelizes). This takes about 10-15 minutes.

2. Pour or spoon a small quantify of caramel to cover the bottom of about six porcelan ramekins, tilting each cup to help spread the sauce. Do NOT touch the caramel or you will get a bad burn. Set aside.

To make the flan:

1. Preheat oven to 300. Have a baking dish (a small lasagna pan is perfect) large enough to hold all the cups and deep enough to bring boiling waiter to within 1" of the top of the cups. Boil some water and keep it handy.

2. Heat the milk in a sauce pan with the nutmeg and cinnamon over medium until it begins to steam but never boil...or even simmer. Keep warm over low heat.

3. With an electric mixer beat the yolks, eggs and sugar until thick. Add lemon zest.

4. A skin will now have probably formed over the warm milk. Take a fine strainer and slowly pour the hot milk through the strainer into the egg mixture. If someone else is around it helps if they are mixing the eggs and milk as you strain it. Or mix it now yourself.

5. Place the ramekins in the deep pan. Ladle some mixture in each cup.

6. Very carefully pour the boiling water into the pan without letting a drop get into the cups. Use a funnel if you have to.

7. Bake about 45 - 50 minutes until firm when lightly jiggled.

When done remove pan from oven and the water bath. You can chill, but they are lovely warm or at room temp too.
To serve: take the point of a sharp knife and run it all around the edge of the ramekin. Quickly invert the ramekin over a small dish. The caramel will have formed a lovely sauce and the flan will be upside down. You will still have a lot of solid caramel in the cup which won't come out. Wait till no one is looking and lick it. To wash to cup just add a 1" of water and let it soak. It will dissolve in about an hour or two.

How About a Good Butt Rub?

Chicken, that is. I was camping and canoeing on the Lumber River near the North Carolina / South Carolina state border with some friends from Savannah, Georgia. One of them had brought a bag of Butt Rub with her. We rubbed it into the chicken, cooked it over the fire, and I've been craving it ever since.

Butt Rub can be bought online through a variety of 'rub dealers'. It's a meat seasoning that you can rub in, massage on, or add to a marinade for your meat of choice. I prefer chicken. Here's an easy recipe that I have probably made 4 times in the past two months. I love a good butt rub.

All you need for a tasty Butt Rub Chicken:
Chicken breasts / Meat of Choice
Butt Rub
Kraft's Zesty Italian dressing

I marinate the chicken in the dressing for an hour or so, then just put the chicken & dressing in a glass baking dish. Then, rub in some Butt Rub. (Or sprinkle on it you don't like the spiciness). Then, bake until done! Enjoy!!!

OR, you can just rub in the rub to whatever meat you want, skip the dressing, and grill!

Tonight, I'm making some Butt Rub Chicken with stuffed red peppers (stuffed with corn, feta, mushrooms, olive oil and vinegar). I'm drooling already.

Milk in the Raw. Part 1

‘Th’state says I can’t sell that to you’

I c’n do that…

In southern Virginia there has been an unlikely meeting of the minds on the subject of organic farming. The hippies do it to live a natural lifestyle and to take power away from the man. The far right does it for the same reason they homeschool: ‘ I jus’ wouldn’t put that stuff they sell into my kids.’

Raw, organic, unpasteurized, non-homogenized milk may not be for kids or pregnant folks, and of course, technically it’s illegal. As a rule of thumb, drink without guilt if you’re comfortable eating chocolate mousse; the infection risk is about the same as that posed by raw egg whites (tho the diseases can be worse). This is what we did with the raw milk of Louisa the Jersey cow:

We drank it. Raw milk tastes like a thin, sweet, milkshake.

Then we skimmed off the top layer of cream...

...and yeah, we whipped it up and stuck it on pie and in some coffee and stuff, but mostly, we made butter. Here’s how it’s done.

All-natural, organic, silky, wonderful butter
If you aren’t lucky enough to have an entrepreneurial farmer nearby, I suggest starting with heavy organic cream. Get the most natural, hormone-free stuff you can find. I know Whole Foods has it, not raw but as close as you can buy ‘round here.

Pour about 2 pints...or as much as you want really, into a blender. I found out the hard way that using regular beaters doesn't cut it. Blend on high for about 7 minutes. First it will whip up, then it'll deflate back down and start getting all grainy-looking.

That burning smell is our visitor logs

There are people out there who use work for something other than gmail and Fark.com. They do exist, but I'm not one of them. No, my employer's precious dollars pay for me to sit on FUD looking through the visitor search logs.

Why are you all looking for Pepper Spray recipes?

It's our number one search, as far as I can tell. I mean, are the people of DC really so desperate for personal defense? Alright, scratch that. But really folks, we got mace the seasoning, not Mace the illegal burny stuff.

Anyway, just because it makes me sad to think that all your searches have been in vain, here you go. It's a little complex- don't try it unless that stalker is getting really persistent.

The recipe:
In a blender, puree until completely smooth 15 Habanero peppers and 1 quart of 200 proof Ethanol. You can get it in a hardware store. Let the mixture sit at least overnight, or longer, at room temperature. Strain the stuff through cheesecloth and stick it in a large glass Pyrex container.

Now here's the tough part. Bring it to a slow boil...but do not use naked flames! That would be bad! Make sure you are on one of those silly flat heating element stoves. Keep it there until about 90% of the liquid evaporates, then remove it and let it cool down.

What you're looking for is the red oil floating on the surface. If it aint there, boil again. Now separate it out by sticking the mix in a long thin water glass (throw it away after) or a test tube if you have, and draw off the oil with an eyedropper.

That's it. You wanna use it in a spray, mix with isopropyl alcohol, at a ratio of 1 to 9, and stick it in a very very very secure spray bottle. Or you could plop down the 15 buck and just buy a can. Incidentally, researching this lead me to also find a simple recipe for tear gas. That's Great.

Refreshing Summer Pasta Salad

Since it has been SO HOT in DC lately, I have been trying to recall recipes my mom used to make on hot summer days. One of my favorites was her Summer Pasta Salad. It's quick and easy. Just make it a few hours before eating, or the night before a picnic, work lunches, or a party.

Ingredients:
1 Box Tri-Color Rotini Pasta
1 can of Tuna (optional)
Some Mayo
Salt

Directions:
Cook pasta until done, and drain
Add can of tuna
Add mayo (to your desired consistency)
Add salt (to your flavor)
Chill in fridge until cold & serve!

Optional:
You can also add diced tomatoes, black olives, feta, sub chicken for tuna. Be creative

Reluctant Health, Day 9

Today's Haiku:
Today I'll eat lite
Just one burger and some fries
before breakfast time

Today's Lunch spot:
Thyme Square in Bethesda- Service can be a little (really) slow but it's about worth it for the local produce and organic pizzas and chicken and things.

Today's recipe: Chilled Minted Cucumber Honeydew Soup
Alright, this is just turning into a series on cold soup. bear with me here.

1 cucumber
2 Cups honeydew melon
8 oz plain non-fat yogurt
1/4 cup mint leaves
2 Tablespoon fresh lime juice

Cut cucumber into 1-inch pieces. Combine cucumber, honeydew, yogurt, mint leaves and juice. Puree mixture for 30 seconds, and season with salt and pepper. Cover and Chill at least 2 hours, garnish with mint.

Reluctant Health, day 7

Today's Haiku:
Lowfat cottage cheese,
your expire date is May.
But that was last year.

Today's Lunch spot: Java Green for salads, rice bowls, and other veggie stuff. 15 million online reviews can't be wrong.

Today's recipe: Lowfat Chinese Eggplant - Really, it can be done. I wouldn't kid about this.

1 large Eggplant
1 bunch Scallions, sliced
2 Tbsp Hot Szechuan sauce
2 Tbsp teriyaki sauce
1/4 c Cold water

Peel the eggplant and cut into 2-inch thick wedges. Saute in water (or broth if you have the urge) in a non stick pan, turning to cook the wedges evenly for about 3-5 minutes per side, or until they're tender. Add the scallions. Mix the sauces and water and pour into the pan. Stir, munch.

Jaleo At Home

Thursday night found me with shrimp to use up and a craving for Jaleo-style garlic shrimp. Unfortunately, no one bought me the Jose Andres cookbook for Christmas, despite all my not-so-subtle hints. Instead, I decided to improvise, and came up with this pseudo-Spanish meal:

Garlic Shrimp:
Some shrimp, peeled and deveined
half a lemon
red pepper flakes
a couple crushed garlic cloves
olive oil
cilantro, chopped.
a bit of red onion, chopped
salt and pepper

Sautee red onion, then garlic, in olive oil. Squeeze lemon over shrimp. Toss with salt, pepper and red pepper flakes. Add shrimp - cook until opaque. Add a bit of cilantro, and you're done.

Paprika-scented potatoes
Red potatoes, cut into small pieces
Olive oil
salt and pepper
paprika (I used Hungarian sweet, b/c it's what I had)
Smoked garlic (Not sure how hard this is to find - I found it in the big market when visiting Philadelphia).
cilantro, chopped (just a bit).

Toss potatoes with other ingredients, and just a light coating of olive oil. Bake at 400 for about 50 minutes or so.

Spinach and mushrooms in sherry vinegar
Note: What I'd hoped to make was a spinach sautee with pine nuts, as I'd had at Jaleo recentlyr, but I couldn't find my pine nuts. I improvised with the vinegar, but it was a bit stronger than I'd hoped. Perhaps a bit less (didn't measure) and some brown sugar?

Some baby spinach
some red onion, chopped
a clove or two of garlic, minced
some mushrooms, chopped
sherry vinegar

Sautee onion for 10-15 min on low, to let out some of the sugars, add garlic, then mushrooms, then spinach. Add a drizzle of sherry vinegar to finish.

Reluctant Health, day 3

Today's Haiku:
One hundred-ten cals
can't make up for the limp taste
of a skim latte

Today's Lunch spot:
Asylum on Sats and Sundays only for Ova, Lacto, Vegan-friendly stuff. If there's nothing in it, it must be good for you

Today's recipe: Chilled Strawberry Soup
ZAF is on a cold soup kick, so everyone's just gonna have to deal with it.

1 quart strawberries, stem tops removed
12 ounces fat-free vanilla yogurt
A pinch of ginger
Juice of 1 orange
4-6 mint leaves

Place ingredients in blender and puree until smooth. Chill and serve with a small dollop of yogurt and a mint sprig as garnish. Feeling un-diet-y? Add a shot of Grand Marnier or sweet champagne.

Reluctant Health, day 2

Today's Haiku:
CVS tempts me:
Come for the hair dye isle
leave with a Snickers

Today's Lunch Spot:
Skewers for low-fat kababs and things. 1633 P St NW

Today's recipe: Grape Chicken! Low cal, low fat, low carb. just pretty much low everything.

3 Boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into peices
1/2 tsp Nutmeg
1 Tbs Olive oil
1 Tbs Grape jam
1 tsp Tarragon
4 Green onions, chopped
3/4 cup white wine
1 cup Seedless green grapes
1/4 cup Millk

Sprinkle chicken with salt, pepper, and nutmeg and brown chicken breasts on each side.
Add jam, tarragon, green onions, and wine. Cover, reduce heat to simmer, and cook 15 minutes. Add grapes and cook 5 minutes. Remove the chicken and grapes. Add the milk to the pan, turn heat up and let it simmer until it thickens. Spoon over chicken and grapes to serve.

Reluctant health, Day 1

As traditionally happens once a year, zaf has realised that summer's arrived and she no longer fits into her Awesome Yellow Wrap Skirt. This sucks! There's only one thing to do- our Annual 2-week Diet Roundup. That's right, two weeks of healthy food, healthy restaurants, and bitchy haikus (you'd be would too if you'd been eating this stuff for two weeks)

So, to belly flop right in.

Today's Haiku:
My iced tea's not sweet
Splenda can make it better
And more cancerous!

Today's lunch place:
Marvelous Market for their "No Guilt Turkey Sandwich"- turkey, no fat coleslaw, on some kinda bread.

Today's recipe: Green Gazpacho Soup

1/2 large green bell pepper
3 cups romaine lettuce
1 large cucumber, peeled
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
2 cups chicken broth
3 green onions,
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 large clove garlic
2 tbsp. red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp. sea salt to taste
light sour cream

Place ingredients in a food processor and puree. Chill, and serve with a dollop of sour cream.

Tuesday Curry

Happy Tuesday! I think Tuesdays are the longest, more boring day there is in the week. I'm willing to debate anyone about this subject too, Tuesdays take forever.

In order to make this Tuesday a little more interesting to me, I thought I would write my first post on DCFUD, and start it off with a SMASHING good recipe for Curry Cashew Chicken Salad.

I love this recipe, and I've changed a few steps from the original (don't ask where that is!) but it's definately better this way. The original writer didn't know what they were talking about.

Curry Cashew Chicken Salad (In 10 Simple Steps)
To make a decent size batch, you will need....

1.) 2 cans of canned chicken (Usually found next to the canned tuna, you can use real chicken, but then you have to cook it, and that takes too long for me. I don't like to be patient.)

2.) Red Grapes

3.) Cashews (usually just two scoops from the nut bin at the store will be fine)

4.) 1 or 2 cans of water chestnuts

5.) Celery (However much you want. I used a small bag from the salad section to dice up)

6.) Oranges or a Small thing of Orange Juice (I squeeze fresh juice, but it doesn't matter. I'm perfect, like Martha. Wait, Martha wouldn't use canned chicken though I bet....Hm....)

7.) Curry Powder (yellow)

8.) Ranch Dressing (I suppose you can use Mayo, but Ranch gives it a good taste).

NOW,
1.) Chop the cashews.
2.) Chop the water chestnuts (drained).
3.) Chop the celery.
4.) Mix into a big bowl.
5.) Add a splash of orange juice
6.) Drain the chicken and add the two cans.
7.) Mix all of that goodness.
8.) Slice the grapes in half each (looks nicer, easier to eat).
9.) Add some ranch dressing to coat (want the chicken to still be flaky, no clumps, and not a thick dressing).
10.) Add the curry (I like to add a lot).

Keep tasting, and adding whatever you want. Ranch, curry, orange juice.

Enjoy!
If you don't like it, you're crazy! :)

Brownies without a pan

Last weekend I was asked to bring dessert to a party and I had neither the time, money nor inclination to make much of an effort.

So I dredged out of my memory an old ruse I had used before and was amazed at how good they were. Brownie cookies. Cookies out of a doctored box of brownie mix.

They are really cheap - a box of mix makes a ton of cookies - or at least several dozen and costs about $2, plus the trivial cost of the rest of the ingredients. Best of all they make a grown-up kind of cookie. Mildly chocolaty, moist, crisp at the edges yet chewy in the middle, not overly sweet, and rather versatile, (more about that later). Don't use the recipe on the box. Here's the technique:

Brownie Cookies
1 large box fudge brownie mix. Brand doesn't matter but should run about 19-21 oz
2 large eggs lightly beaten
1/4 cup oil (not olive - I used canola)
3 TB water - may need a drop more or not
1/4 cup flour (essential)

• Preheat oven to 350

• Dump everything together in a large bowl. Mix until smooth. If it has some dry mix still, add a tiny drop more water. Dough will be like a thickish, stretchy batter - not clumpy like regular cookie double. That's fine

• Line flat cookie sheet with baking (parchment) paper. You can get this at any grocery store where they have foil and plastic wrap, or sometimes in the baking or even the gadgets aisle.

• With a teaspoon drop a 1/2 dollar sized dollop of mix. It will spread after a minute into a nice circle. These cookies REALLY spread in the oven so give them room.

• Bake about 10 minutes until edges are very slightly browner than the rest of the cookie. That may not happen but 10 or 11 minutes seems about right.

• When they come out of the over let them sit a moment on the cookie sheet to firm as they will be delicate, and then carefully remove to a wire rack to cool completely.
  

-This is a guest blog by longtime fudder MHF. Thanks mom!

It's Strawberry Shortcake Time...

...and I am not talking about that silly doll from the 80's either. I was down in Southeastern Virginia last weekend and stumbled across an amazing farm with HUGE produce selection. They had fresh strawberries picked right off their farm, and I felt compelled to pick up a quart without an idea of what to do with them.

I got home, stared at the berries for a bit, and realized that it was time to crank out my moms favorite Strawberry Shortcake recipe - it's easy, fresh and takes only 10 minutes to put together:

Enjoy:

The What:
2 cups flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons sugar
¾ cup milk
¼ cup butter

The How:

• Mix dry ingredients, sift twice, work in butter with tips of fingers, and add milk gradually.
  
• Toss on floured board, divide in two parts.
  
• Pat, roll out, and bake twelve minutes in a hot oven in buttered Washington pie or round layer cake tins.
  
• Split, and spread with butter.
  
• Sweeten strawberries to taste, place on back of range until warmed, crush slightly, and put between and on top of Short Cakes
  

What to Cook for People Who Know What They're Doing

One of the smartest things I ever did was convince six of my closest friends, all of whom know much more about food and wine than I do, into coming over to make dinner one night about a year ago. Rather than preparing dishes in advance, everyone brought their own ingredients and we all cooked together. (This was mostly a selfish move on my part--I wanted to learn how to make these dishes, not just eat them, but it turns out that cooking together is so much more fun anyway. Plus, you have help when you need it, and freshly prepared food when you sit down to eat.)

Anyway, that's my Supper Club. I'll be talking about it a lot. There are ten of us now, and usually three of us bring wine and champagne, while the rest of us take care of the food. Our most recent theme was Spanish foods, which are especially lovely when eaten on the patio on a warm April night. Some sample recipes:

Wendy's Patatas Bravas (Fierce Potatoes)

2 lbs potatoes
Half a large onion, diced
1 clove garlic, diced
olive oil
2 or 3 tablespoons paprika
3 fresh tomatoes, chopped
1 red or green chile, diced
Spanish thyme

Boil whole potatoes for 15 minutes. Drain and cool. Dice into 1"-1.5" pieces. Fry, or "oven fry" until crispy, or until you're sick of waiting for the potatoes.

In a saucepan over medium high heat, saute onion and one clove of garlic in a smidgeon of olive oil. When they're translucent and sticky, add paprika and stir and cook for a minute or so, until it starts looking like paste. Red paste. Mmmm. Add tomatoes and chile and Spanish thyme, and cook until the tomatoes have broken down (if you have a stick blender with you, this takes less time). Taste. Add more paprika if you have it and want to. Hold over low heat until ready to serve.

Either toss to combine potatoes and sauce, or pour sauce over individual portions of potatoes. Great served with a garlicky aioli to take away some of the heat.

Karen's Chorizo with Figs

1 lb chorizo
Half a large onion
2 cloves garlic
Splash olive oil
1/2 c red wine
1/2 c red wine vinegar
1/2 c sugar
cinnamon
cloves
1 cup dried figs

Chop up chorizo into 1-inch sections, slice onion lengthwise, and chop up garlic. Heat up olive oil in a saucepan, add the chorizo, onions, and garlic, and sautee it until the garlic is golden brown. Add red wine, red wine vinegar, sugar, three shakes of cinnamon, and a pinch of cloves. Stir it up all, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for thirty minutes. While it's simmering, roast figs in the oven (I brushed them with olive oil and put them in at 400 degrees, then drank cava until Wendy finally told me take them out already. Maybe five minutes?), and right before serving, stir the figs into the chorizo. This is smoky and spicy and sweet.

Kristen's Sangria

3 bottles Spanish red wine (the wine guy at Whole Foods on P St has some great recommendations)
2 cups lemon-lime seltzer
juice of two oranges
juice of one lemon
juice of one lime
1/2 cup triple sec
two apples, cut up into small bites
one lemon, same
one lime, same
one orange, same

Combine everything, add sugar to taste, stir, and let sit in the fridge for hours. Add one basket of strawberries, cut up into small bites, just before serving, so they don't get too mushy. Add some cava if you want to lighten it up.

This is a guest entry from Karen over at jitterbugparfum.livejournal.com. Thanks, Karen!

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

This is my maiden Cinco de Mayo here in the DC area. Living in Texas gave me an amazing appreciation for such a day of celebration. The margaritas were flowing, the tortillas soft and warm, and the guacamole good and fresh. Now that I am significantly “North” of the Border, I have planned a menu for this night with a twist.

Mango Key Lime Margaritas*
This tropical margarita is much fruitier and easier to drink than a genuine Mexican margarita…not that anyone has any problems drinking Jose in the hot summer nights…

1 shot (1 ounce) tequila
1 shot (1 ounce) Cointreau
1⁄4 fresh mango, peeled and chopped
1⁄2 cup fresh orange juice
juice of 1⁄2 Mexican or Key lime
1 cup crushed ice
2 Mexican or Key lime slices, for garnish

Combine the tequila, Cointreau, mango, orange juice, lime juice, and ice in a blender and blend until slushy. Serve in large cocktail glasses. Makes 2 margaritas.

For your starter course- why not try take some of the tequila left over from the rita’s and toss in some shrimp:

Tequila Shrimp Cocktail
2 lbs. fully ripened fresh Florida tomatoes (about 4 large)
1 jalapeño pepper, seeded, finely chopped (about 1 T)
1 T grated lime zest
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
2 T tequila
2 T lime juice
1 T orange-flavored liqueur (optional)
1-1/2 lbs cooked large or jumbo shrimp, cleaned

Remove stem ends from tomatoes and finely chop. In a small bowl, combine tomatoes, jalapeño, lime zest, salt, pepper, tequila, limejuice and liqueur (if using) until blended. Chill. Spoon an equal amount of the tomato salsa into 6 margarita or wine glasses. Surround with chilled shrimp, dividing evenly.

Moving into the main course- at this point its time to crank up mariachi music and make the following:

Seafood Pozole
1 sm Onion
1 cn Yellow hominy (15 oz.)
3/4 lb Rockfish fillet
2 ts Olive oil OR salad oil
1 Lime
3 c Low-salt chicken broth
1 can Diced tomatoes and juice (14-1/2 oz.)
1 can Chopped green chilies (4 -oz.)
2 ts Ground cumin

Salsa or hot pepper sauce

Preparation:

Thinly slice onion. Rinse and drain Hominy. Rinse fish, pat dry, and cut into 3/4 inch cubes (discard any bones you discover while cutting fish). Slice lime into 6 wedges.

Cooking:

1. Stir onion and oil in a 3-4 quart pan over medium-high heat until onion is tender, about 5 minutes.
2. Add hominy, chicken broth, tomatoes and their juice, chilies and cumin. Cover pan and bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes.
3. Add fish; simmer and stir gently until fish flakes when prodded with a fork, 2-4 minutes. Ladle soup into bowls. Squeeze juice of 1 lime wedge into each bowl of soup. Serve salsa or hot pepper sauce alongside to season to taste. Makes 6 servings.

This post thanks to Guest Blogger Kate over at http://notquitemartha.typepad.com. Thanks Kate!

Mousse on the rocks

Way back in the beginning of DCFUD, mousse was a topic of discussion (Will of Steel, Mousse of Chocolate, November 25, 2004). But in the mean time we have made an incredible discovery ranking with the invention of the wheel, at least. And that is...frozen mousse.

It all began innocently. I brought a large batch of mousse to a pot luck and someone casually asked me if I'd ever tried to eat it frozen. No actually, I hadn't. But luckily there was some left over so I raced home and tossed it in the freezer.

Eureka does not being to describe my cries of elation at this transformation. Light, smooth, fabulous mousse is transformed into ...smooth, chewy, well not ice cream but some divine frozen dessert all it's own. You must try it.

In case you are wondering, here is the updated, streamlined recipe I used, more or less adapted from "How to Cook Everything" by Mark Bittman.
Great Chocolate (Frozen) Mousse

2 oz sweet butter
6 oz excellent European bittersweet chocolate
3 eggs separated
1/2 c sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 TB kirsch, rum or other liquor or more to taste up to 1/4 cup

• Melt chocolate and butter over a double boiler, when melted stir to mix together and cool a minute or two
• Beat yolks well to mix, beat in chocolate
• Beat egg whites with 1/4 c of sugar until stiff. Set aside
• Beat the cream with the vanilla and other 1/4 c sugar until stiff
• Fold 1/4 of the whites into the chocolate mixture to lighten, fold in rest of whites
• Fold the in the whipped cream and kirsch until no white streaks remain
• Cover and refrigerate until firm - an hour or two minimum. OR FREEZE!!!! (Actually first I did refrigerate it and then froze it but I can't see what that should be necessary)

This article by guest blogger MHF. Thanks!
Picture blatantly stolen from worth1000.com/

Baby steps

Well done to Kaz and Lockey of Australia who have just successfully created some serious baby!! As part of the future drinking Aussie population, here are my two favorite faux-alcohol drinks to get him started on. It’s never too early!

'No innuendo' banana daiquiri
Half a mashed ripe banana
One shot orange juice
A tsp lemon juice
Two tablespoons sugar
One shot water

Mix everything together and freeze. Fill a glass half full, and add sprite the rest of the way.

'Just hanging out' on the beach
One shot cranberry juice
One shot orange juice
One shot pineapple juice
One shot peach juice

Mix everything and pour it over crushed ice

Image blatently stolen from gothstuff.com

A little buffalo in your cup

Milk gets squirted out of a cow, whittled down to 2%, and poured into my tea. Or a bowl of cereal, or a batch of mac and cheese, but the point is, it comes from a large female cow and gets processed. But it doesn’t have to. In India, neither cow, nor processing are any part of what ends up in my Earl Grey, and it tastes fabulous. And why is that? Unpansteurized, Roamin’ Buffalo Milk.

This stuff is lower in cholesterol, has more proteins and minerals, and more lactoferrin, lysozyme,and lactoperoxidase than cow milk. And who doesn’t want more lactoperoxidase! But the best thing about buffalo-excretion is a lower water content. Remember how good it tastes when Thai restaurants use condensed milk? Now imagine that, but thicker. Incidentally, it’s what makes Buffalo Mozzarella so nifty.

But what about processing? Well, it isn’t, and that means that buffalo milk is so fatty and thick that you could practically stand a spoon up in it, the entire surface covered with globules like chicken soup.

My point here is a recent realization that all Chai I’ve ever had is wrong. Real Chai is thick and rich with fatty buffalo milk, not the thin, limp-tasting white-liquid-with-cinnamon that passes at Starbucks. But no fear! Here is how to thicken your chai, buffalo-style (without a handy buffalo)

Buffalo-esque Chai
Mix together a piece of cushed ginger, a crushed piece of cinnamon, a tablespoon peppercorns, a teaspoon of vanilla, 6 cloves, 2 tsp cardamom, 2 whole star anise, a tsp fennel seeds, a teaspoon aniseed, and half a tsp nutmeg.

Boil three cups of water and add 4 Assam teabags. Then add the spice mixture and simmer for 20 mins.

Now here’s the tough part. Add 3.5 cups of cows milk. Bring everything to a boil and then immediately turn down the heat. Then bring it to a boil again, and turn it down. Repeat that maybe 3 or 4 times and the result should be just as thick and creamy as if you were swimming in buffalos.

Sweeten it with honey, strain, and serve. Buffalo-rific

Stand Facing the Stove, and make some hamentaschen

Zaf should be sending out resumes in a desperate attempt to assuage her broke-ness. As is, she’s sitting in Soho eating leftover hamentaschen (is there anything better than leftover hamentaschen?) and reading ‘Stand Facing the Stove.’

This is a great book. It is a wordy book. It is a vastly over-researched book (10 years, says the intro). It is a loooong book. It is the story of how the Joy of Cooking, America’s first popular cookbook, was written. I am a quarter through and I’ve only just finished reading about the first writer’s great grandfather’s military service. This book manages to miss the fact that, even though it is possible to research every single breath taken by your subject during their life, you shouldn’t.

Even so, this book rocks! And incidentally, so do the hamentaschen. Here’s the recipe I used, done in the original 1930's Joy of Cooking style:

ZAF Hamentaschen
Amusingly ornamental, use these merry tart-letes to bring a degree of agreeable anarchy to a midday tea party or soirée (I swear I couldnt make this stuff up). Preheat oven to 375, then cream together:
...... 2/3 cup butter
...... 1/2 cup sugar
Add
...... 1 egg
And either
...... 1/4 cup orange juice
Or
...... 1/4 cups of water
That has been mixed with
...... 1 teaspoon of vanila
Gradually add
...... 2 cups of flour
Mix gently, but do not kneed, then refrigerate for three hours. Roll thin using process described on P. 134 for butter cookies. Place
...... 1 tablespoon of canned poppyseed filling
Or
...... 1 tablespoon of raspberry jam
In the middle of each circle. Fold up the sides to make a triangle, Squeeze the corners tightly. Bake for about 10 minutes or until golden brown

Who needs water?

I returned home from the gym around 3 o'clock this afternoon, eager for a shower after spending the day sweating. Unfortunately, I returned home and there was no water. Not "no hot water," mind you. No water.

No matter. Certainly this would get fixed before dinner time, meaning I can make pasta or do dishes or any of those normal Sunday kitchen-centered activities.

6:30 p.m. Still no water.

Time for plan B. Truth be told, making a dinner sans water isn't really that difficult, particularly if you have a well-stocked pantry. It just adds some urgency to the recipe I want to share with you.

Buffalo Chili: No Water Necessary

1 pkg ground buffalo (thank you, Wegman's)
An onion, chopped
some garlic, chopped
some red and green bell pepper, chopped
1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
a couple chipotles in adobo sauce, chopped
1 beer, dark (I added about half a beer to the recipe)
1 cup chicken broth
1 can crushed tomatoes
salt
pepper
cumin
chili powder
olive oil

Heat onions and garlic in oil for one minute. Add buffalo - cook until browned. Add peppers - cook briefly.

Throw in everything else, seasoning to taste. Cook on low until sauce is your desired consistency.

Easy enough. Who needs water, anyway? But washing dishes without good old H20? That's another story. Luckily,

7:20 p.m. Water returns.

Earthy cooking

It’s a sobering moment when you realize that no matter how extreme your sauté, how crazy your roasting, and how freaky your flambé, you will never be as hardcore as PEOPLE WHO COOK WITH AN ACTIVE VOLCANO.

As the undisputed bungi jump, sky dive, and parasail of all cooking methods, it’s probably understandable that Volcano Cookery has not yet made it to DC. First off, it helps to be Maori, on New Zealand’s North Island. The thermal activity comes off the Pacific Plate (the same plate we’re hoping claims California before ‘fusion sushi’ invades the rest of the country). This leaves us with some really steamy ground.

Method 1: A flaming pit. Dig a pit. For us wusses without hot dirt, filling it with hot volcanic stones will do. Then line it with cabbage or watercress, put your sweet potatoes in, cover it with mutton cloth (?) and flax (??) and shovel the dirt back over. In three hours you’ll have yourself some earthy barbeque.

Method 2: Boiling mud. No really. All this volcanic activity should have left pools of it, along with geysers, bubbling mineral water, and all kinds of other hot wet stuff. Find a closely woven basket for your sweet potatoes, tie a string to it, and throw the whole thing into the crater for ‘the time it takes to sing three songs’.

Method 3: A stove. Peel and grate three large sweet potatoes. Mix with 1 cup of sugar and lightly press it into a shallow, greased baking dish. Bake the whole thing for 1 hour at 350 degrees, let it cool, slice, and serve with cream.

Your choice.

Garlicky Italian Tofu

On my last trip to the Asian supermarket, I bought a big bag of tofu cut to look like fettuccini. I had no real plan of what to do with them, but they looked funny so I bought them. The other night, when it came time to cook, I decided to expand on this idea, and make an Italian-style tofu dish.

Here's what I had:

Here's what I did:

Serve with parmesan cheese.

Aunt Barb Dip: A Superbowl Sunday Solution

My Aunt Barb's southwestern-style dip is always a hit at parties. So much so that I'm getting email requests for the recipe so my friends have something to bring to their Superbowl shindigs. If you're in a similar tight spot, give Aunt Barb dip a try. It's gooey, it's cheesy, and it's not the typical salsa/beans/cheese/sour cream offering you always see.

What you need:
a can of black olives
1 bunch scallions
1 tomato
1 can chopped green chiles
some hot sauce (a few squirts into a bowl)
8 oz mexican cheese blend of some sort, shredded
1 cup mayo
8 oz sour cream
garlic powder or a touch of minced garlic
tortilla chips

What you need to do:
Chop up about a half cup of black olives (leave some for topping). Mix together garlic, sour cream, mayo, cheese, chiles, and chopped olives. Put in a pie ban (I recommend glass in case you need to reheat and only have a microwave as an option).

Bake for about 20 min at 350, or until top of dip is set.

Top with circles of black olives, chopped scallions (green part only )and diced tomatoes. I like to do each in a round, with green onions on the outside, tomatoes in the next ring and olives in the center. Serve with tortilla chips (I recommend blue corn or Hint Of Lime).

Mac and Cheese

The original recipe calls for half the macaroni we used, yielding a dish that contains more dairy than pasta. Considering this excessive, WRC doubled the pasta portion when he made this at my place last week.
I just finished off the last of the leftovers, which turn into a solid block of cheesiness in the fridge, and have to say I'm really impressed. Especially with how little time it took to make (not much more, really, than the kind from a box). There are lots of places to make this dish your own (what cheeses you use, how much hot sauce, etc.), so I expect that everyone who makes it will get something a bit different.

Ingredients
1 pound elbow macaroni
4 tbs. butter
2 eggs
6 oz. evaporated milk
1 1/2 tsp. hot sauce (we used Sriracha)
1 tsp. kosher salt
Lots of fresh black pepper
1 tsp dry mustard
10 oz cheese: mostly sharp cheddar, but also some other strong melty cheese(s) like gruyere or gouda

Cooking
In a large pot, boil pasta in salted water. While this is happening:
Grate the cheese
In a bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, hot sauce, salt, pepper and mustard.

When the pasta is cooked al dente:
Drain the pasta, return it to the pot, and melt in the butter
Stir in whisked bowl of ingredients
Stir in the grated cheeses and cook over low heat, stirring, for about 3 minutes/until it's all creamy and melted.

You could also serve it with some shaved parmesan or asagio on top.

Enjoy!

Best. Salad. Ever!

Salads are very big in my family. We pretty much have a salad with every dinner, even if the main dish(es) are vegetable-based. This may have come about because it’s just about the only form in which my paternal grandmother will eat anything resembling a vegetable, but no one is sure, and at this point it’s so ingrained in our routine that it doesn’t matter. Last night, we had a salad that was really and truly a cut above the rest, inspired (as so many great dishes are) by “what’s sitting on the shelf.”

The proportions here are, naturally, all completely arbitrary and for reference only. Play around!!

Salad:
- A bunch of mixed mesclun greens;
- A bunch of fresh (raw) spinach greens;
- A couple of handfuls of dried cranberries;
- A handful of chopped kumquat peels;
- 2 very ripe pears, cut into bite-sized pieces;
- 1 cup frozen (actually, thawed) peas.

Dressing:

- 3 tbs. good quality olive oil;
- 3 tbs. good quality white vinegar;
- A teaspoon or so of chopped garlic;
- Splash of lemon juice;
- Salt and black pepper to taste.

Dress the salad about five minutes before serving to let it all marinate a bit.

Top with crumbled blue cheese.

Enjoy!!

Rum-Infused Pecan Pie

Pecan pie is one of my favorite things, and so, when it came time to assign dishes for this years Christmukkah dinner, that’s what I decided to make. Needless to say, I could not just follow a recipe - I had to try a few new twists! The first thing that came to mind was to soak the pecans in rum before baking, from which I hoped to get a richer flavor (and more of it, as the rum would then also be pecan-infused).

The second addition I made was impromptu – while mixing up the filling, I decided that what it needed was citrus. So, I convinced my dad to eat an orange so that I could use the zest.



What I did was this:

9-inch unbaked pie shell (frozen is OK)
3 eggs (you can use egg beaters)
1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 cup dark corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon salt
Dark rum (I used Meyers)
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 cup shelled pecans (halves are fine)
½ teaspoon fresh orange zest
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon sugar

About a day before baking, I put the pecans in a ceramic dish, poured rum over then (covering about 2/3), and covered the dish with a lid. It got stirred every few hours when people were awake and thought about it.

Then, I started baking as follows.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

- Beat eggs in a medium-size bowl until they are light-colored and fluffy, and good peaks form. (Use an electric mixer. If you do it with the standard egg-beater, you will have a sore arm by the time you are finished.)
- Add the brown sugar, corn syrup, salt, zest, and three tablespoons of the pecan-infused rum and stir by hand with a spoon until the sugar is dissolved and the ingredients are thoroughly mixed.
- Stir in the butter and pecans (drain them before adding, but keep the rum!). Pour into the pie shell and bake for 40 minutes or until a knife inserted in the filling comes out clean. Let cool.

Serve with whipped cream, to which you have added the remaining infused rum and the tablespoon of sugar.

I think the results of this pie were mixed. It tasted good, but I think there’s some refinement left to do on the recipe. First of all, I think it would have been good to have more orange zest – maybe a whole teaspoonful.

Then, the pecans. There should be more of them, and some should not be marinated – maybe 1 cup rum-infused and a half-cup plain, to add some crunch. Alternatively, it might work to marinate them more in advance, and then pre-roast them so they are dry and crunchy, but still have the rum flavor. Reserving some (wet) rum-infused pecans and adding them to the top of the pie (halfway through baking, so they don’t sink) would be really good - they would caramelize a bit and make a nice top-coat thing.

And that’s what I did on Christmukkah.

Chicken with marmalade

This is a favorite dish of mine that really hits the spot on a winter’s eve. I’ve been meaning to experiment with this a bit, perhaps leaving the skin on the chicken, substituting duck for chicken, or stuffing the chicken breasts with the fruits instead of topping them. If you feel similarly inclined, let us know how it turns out!

This is a family recipe, and no one has ever written down any measures: use as many skinless, boneless chicken breasts as you like, topped with as much of the other stuff as you like.

-Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
-Quarter the chicken breasts.
-Put chicken in an appropriately-sized oven-safe dish that has a cover – I use the ceramic kind with glass lid.
-Dab a bit of orange marmalade on top of each piece.
-Add black and green olives.
-Add currants and dried apricots (cut in half).
-Pour over with apple cider – half way up is good, don’t overfill!
-Cover and cook 20 minutes.
-Remove from oven, baste, and replace in oven, uncovered, for another 10-15 minutes.

I recommend serving this one with baked sweet potato or brown rice.

Holiday Nibbles

I don't know what it is about December, but even the most reclusive of curmudgeons end up throwing a party. As it is, I've got something going on the Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of every weekend leading up to Christmas. I know, boo effing hoo. J and I have sensibly decided to sit December out for entertaining and let those with saner heads than we host events. However, I am not so out of the holiday party loop that I can't bring the perfect cocktail party snack to a gathering - my version of the Union Square mixed nuts. This is the perfect party food. It allows guests to just nibble and converse. No balancing of plates and no utensils involved. I love the aromatic spiciness of it. This mixed nuts recipe has been around the block. Both Ina Garten and Nigella Lawson have their versions. I based mine on Nigella's, but went crazy with different flavors. The core of the mixed nuts is the brown sugar and rosemary. On that, you cannot compromise.

So get about six cups of a variety of nuts. I usually do a mixture of cashews, almonds, and Brazil nuts. And to save money, buy them in bulk. Both Whole Foods and Yes Natural Market have bulk nuts (oooh dirty). Roast the nuts at 350 degrees for about ten minutes until they are slightly browned around the edges. In a bowl combine 1 tablespoon brown sugar, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon finely chopped rosemary, a pinch of cayenne pepper (to taste) and two pinches of paprika. Mush it together with your fingers so that everything is well distributed. In a large wok under low heat, melt a tablespoon of butter and a teaspoon of sesame oil. Add the brown sugar mixture and stir until the brown sugar and butter are combined. Add the roasted nuts and toss as if you are tossing a salad. Make sure that every nut is slick with the buttery sweetness of the brown sugar and butter. As a final touch, add a tablespoon of maple syrup and toss some more. When everything has been coated with the butter-maple syrup-brown sugar turn off heat and pour into bowls for serving.

Date and Poppy Scones

A couple of weeks ago, while planning for the vaguely-infamous Brunch 2.0, I came across Clotilde’s recipe for yogurt scones, which looked both intriguing and easy enough for my measurement-impaired style of baking. You see, I have a very short attention span for following directions to a tee. I think it’s genetic: my great grandmother famously vexed her daughter – my grandmother – by keeping her ‘recipes’ on slips of paper that listed ingredients and quantities mostly unrelated to the way she made things. My grandmother simply doesn’t seem to use recipes, and so on. Consequently, my attempts at baking have a habit of being disastrous. Surprisingly, I thought these scones, based loosely on Clotilde’s, came out pretty tasty.

~1 ¾ cup flour
- Just under 7 tsp white sugar
- Just over 2 tbs. butter, (at room temperature)
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 135 ml plain yogurt, plus three tablespoons later on
- 2 Tbsp milk
- A small handful of chopped dates and ¾ tsp poppy
seeds.

(Yields 8-ish scones.)

- Preheat the oven to 400°F.
- Line a cookie sheet with wax paper, and dust it with flour.
- In a medium bowl, mix the flour, sugar and baking powder.
- Cut in the butter until the whole lot is crumby-looking.
- Add the measured yogurt and milk.
- Mix the dough until it gets doughier, adding the additional yogurt as you go until it has a nice doughy consistency.
(Apparently you’re not supposed to over mix the dough, but since I don’t really know what this means I ignored it.)
- Once the dough is the right consistency, fold in the dates and seeds.
- Fold in a few more dates and poppy seeds, because what you have probably isn’t enough.
- Smoosh dough into a ball and place on floured wax paper, then press it down with your hands (or something more elegant, like a rolling pin, if you must).
- Cut into as many pieces as you like.
- Sprinkle some more seeds and date bits on top of each one (I actually for got to do this, but it would’ve been a good idea).

- Put in the oven for about 15 minutes. Remove from oven – they probably aren’t done yet.
- Panic, but then take the opportunity to brush some melted butter on to them, which you probably should have done in the first place, and put them back in for another 5-10 minutes or so.
- Remove from oven, let cool a bit (but not too much), and serve with strong coffee and mimosas.

If you prefer a more traditional approach to baking, please refer to WRC's previous recipe and prnounciation guide.

Image shamelessly lifted from NM.

Totaly local smoothie

Of all the cheesy gimmicks a restaurant can come up with, having really really good food isn’t a bad one. Filling this niche is The Ugly Duck Out of Swansea, Tasmania, pop 529. As one of the few places in Australia not to major in frozen meat pies, Ugly Duck uses local organic products (sheep) to amaze stupid American tourists (us).

Here’s a recipe suggested to us by the Duck’s Mark for a Banana Smoothie…interpreted slightly for those of us who don’t have a neighbor with beehives.

Ugly Smoothie

Combine in a food processor:

• About 1 cup of fresh plain yoghurt- the extra creamy Greek-style stuff if you can.
• 1/3 cup of honey: Tasmanian leatherwood if you can, anything sweet if you can’t.
• A peeled banana.
• Maybe 2 ice cubes. One if it’s a biggy. Just enough to cool things down. That’s my addition, actually.
• A pinch of cardamom
• Cover with milk, but not too much- you can add more later if it’s too thick.

Process on low until everything’s smooth. Then slurp it like it’s the first non-fried food you’ve had in weeks. Which it might be.

Hostel Cookery

The theft of food has a long and glorious history: Jean ValJean did it. Huckleberry Finn did it. And who could forget the classic knee-slapper, ”What are the first three words in a Hungarian cookbook? ‘Steal a chicken’”.

So it is unsurprising to that those of us who have spent the last two years sleeping at camp sites, hostel dorm rooms, and on one occasion, a beach, a very specialized form of cooking has evolved. This is hostel cooking, and it’s the most regional form of cuisine because each region has different foods to steal. And by steal, I mean ‘take without paying for’.

Let’s be fair. Lots of countries won’t allow fruits and vegetables over the state borders, and it can be better to carry only light, non-perishables like powdered soup and rice anyway. Hostel cooking is a cuisine that relies on having spent your last dollar on weird foreign beer the night before.

Basically, every hostel worth its pool table has a ‘Free Food shelf’. Some hostel stoves are coin-fed, and many places make you rent the cutlery. At some you even have to battle a giant German rugby player to be allowed at the sink. It’s in this classic tradition that we proudly give you the following recipes. They take 7 minutes, can be eaten out of the pot they were cooked in, and, most importantly, cost less than 2$ if you do it right. You’re on your own for the Rugby player tho.

Buy: 1 small white onion, and one 6-pack of eggs

Stolen spaghetti stew
This is the most basic of hostel dishes and it relies on one thing: carrying a large supply of powdered Chinese egg soup with you at all times. You can get the stuff for 50 cents at any Asian grocery store (I prefer the one in Rockville, but there’s one in Chinatown, and plenty of others all over the place). It’s really just beef or chicken bullion thickened with a little corn starch.

Start with whatever the required amount of water, cold in a pot. Add in the powder, and place it on low heat. Dice up the onion and toss it in. Add some of the ubiquitous spaghetti found on every free food shelf. If there isn’t any for free, find someone else’s groceries and either 1) steal a couple of strands, or if you think that will be too obvious 2) carefully break all the ends off of the entire pack, about half an inch down. That way, they all end up the same length, albeit shorter. Bring to a boil. Crack an egg into a rented cup and beat it a bit, then whisk it into the stew with a fork. Instant paradise in a bowl.

Really Deviled eggs
Take the eggs and hard-boil them. When you’re sure they’re ready, boil them for another few minutes, and then plunge them into cold water for a bit. Peel and slice each egg carefully in half and remove the yolks with a spoon. Locate some mayonnaise and some mustard. Grey Pupon is the best, but really anything on the free shelf will do.

Now just start adding whatever you can find to the yolks: a scoop of mayo, a scoop of mustard, whatever salt and pepper’s around, hot sauce, chili’s if it’s an Asian country, curry if it’s India (or England). Squish it all together with a fork to make a smooth yellow paste, and then scoop it back into the egg white cups using a spoon. Eat until you feel sick. Trade the onion to the Rugby player for a beer.

Grandma's Chopped Liver -- Not for the Squeamish

Over the weekend, I got a craving for chopped liver, the way my grandmother makes it. I know that chopped liver has few fans outside of the Jewish retiree community, but I grew up in Eastern Europe, so it's a taste I acquired as a child. Having recently purchased my very first food processor, I realized that nothing was standing in my way. Nothing except my hatred of touching raw meat.

Since I was craving chopped liver, and seriously contemplating making it, you can probably guess that I'm not a vegetarian. But touching raw meat just grosses me out. I know this isn't a terribly eloquent of putting it, but: raw meat is totally gross. I never deal with it. I either cook vegetarian dishes or buy my meat already prepared. Thinking back over the past three years, I can recall only one occasion on which raw chicken entered my kitchen.

My squeamishness with raw meat is a problem I would like to overcome. So like an acrophobe who hopes to cure his fears by visiting a skyscraper's observation deck, I walked over to Safeway and purchased a package of raw chicken livers and an onion. I knew I would have a problem when I had trouble taking the package out of the supermarket's meat case. It looked wet and a bloody and I just didn't want to touch it. Hoping to minimize my contact with the package, I walked back to the produce section, got a plastic bag (which should really be provided over by the meat section as well) and used the bag to get the livers out of the case.

After getting home, I took a deep breath and dumped the package out of the plastic bag into the sink. I took another deep breath and pulled open the lid. One more deep breath and I was handling a chicken liver. It was slippery. And unlike raw chicken, which doesn't smell like roasted or baked chicken, raw chicken livers smelled a bit like cooked chicken livers. And did I mention it was slippery? Oh, and also quite bloody. I wondered if this is how a human liver feels to a surgeon. Then I thought, "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

I managed to stop thinking long enough to clean off the livers and dump them into some boiling water. While the meat was cooking, I neurotically cleaned anything that came in contact with the raw chicken. Part of the grossness of raw meat is that I am convinced that I will almost definitely die of salmonella if it enters my kitchen. Chicken livers take about 15 minutes to cook, and I spent most of that time scrubbing.

My family's recipe for chopped chicken livers includes only a few ingredients: chicken livers, fried onions and cooked carrots. I also had some white mushrooms around, so I decided to make two batches, one with onions and carrots and the other with onions and mushrooms.

Grandma's Chopped Liver

• Half a container of raw chicken livers
  
• A quarter of a large white onion
  
• 5-6 baby carrots
  
• Olive oil

Grandma's (Modified) Chopped Liver

• Half a container of raw chicken livers
  
• A quarter of a large white onion
  
• 8-10 white mushrooms
  
• Olive oil

Using olive oil, I fried up some onion and mushrooms while boiling a few baby carrots and the liver. Once everything was ready, I dumped the ingredients of the first batch into the food processor and used the "pulse" button until all of the ingredients were smoothly blended together. After cleaning out the food processor, I blended the second batch. The chopped liver made with carrots was softer and lighter in color while the batch with the onions and mushrooms was darker and had a rougher texture. I though that I had added too much carrot to the first batch, and assumed that it would be obvious once I tasted it, but was surprised by how unobtrusively the carrots blended into the livers. I couldn't taste them at all. Both batches were quite delicious, although having gone through the trauma of touching the raw chicken livers took a lot of the fun out of eating the final product.

And so, my latest adventures with raw meat did not help me get over my squeamishness. This acrophobe may never set foot on an observation deck again. In fact, the experience only served to further my progression to vegetarianism. If I am this bothered by preparing a meal, should I really be forcing myself to prepare it? For me, the answer is no. Next time, I'm making a nice chickpea salad.

The Vegetarian Option

As I have declared Thanksgiving season officially open on my other blog, I want to start the discussion over here as well. I was so inspired by the nippy fall weather this weekend that I roasted a chicken with some acorn squash. Thanksgiving is less than a month away and I am chomping at the bit to start the cooking. While all the hoopla at Thanksgiving may be about the turkey (or pumpkin pie for some), we still need to take into account the vegetarian option. This is where Pepperidge Farm comes into play. Their puff pastry shells are the perfect receptacle for a vegetarian filling. This makes a vegetarian entree that is not just an option but something the meat eaters want to get their grubby paws on. The only problem is when the meat eaters start hogging the stuff pastry shells. Basically, all you have to do is bake the shells according to directions, pull of the top, and fill. Here are two fillings that go great in the shells:

Marsala mushroom filling
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, sliced
1 clove of garlic, chopped
1 pound of mushrooms (can be a mixture of portobellos, cremini, button, shitake) chopped into large chunks
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1/2 cup of marsala (or white wine)
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup cream or sour cream (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

Saute onion and garlic together in the butter and oil until soft and translucent add 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a shake of pepper. Add mushrooms and saute for 10 minutes. Add seasonings, herbs and honey and saute another 5 minutes. Splash the wine in and stir until the mixture has reduced and thickened (should be a gravy consistency). Add cream/sour cream for richness.

Root vegetable filling
2 tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, sliced
1 clove of garlic, chopped
3 cups root vegetable chopped into large chunks (carrots, parsnips, butternut squash, sweet potatoes etc)
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons flour
Pinch of nutmeg
1/2 cup of milk (or cream)
1/2 cup of gruyere cheese

Saute onion and garlic together in the butter until soft and translucent add 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a pinch of pepper. Add the root vegetablesand thyme and saute for about 10 minutes (until the vegetables have soften a bit but still hold their shape). Add the flour and nutmeg and stir until the mixture is coated with flour. Add the milk and stir thoroughly until the mixture has thickened and then add the cheese. Stir until the cheese has been incorporated into the mixture and then pour into the puff pastry shells.

Better than Steak Meatloaf

What do you do when you're feeling homesick and in a country that can't figure out how to make a decent hamburger? You make meatloaf, of course. But not just any meatloaf: A Bachelor’s “Better Than Steak” Meatloaf.

I'd love to say this was a family recipe handed down through six or seven generations, but it actually comes from the classic 1994 The Great American Meatloaf Contest Cookbook, modified slightly to suit my taste.

It's not your normal meatloaf. Instead of pouring on the ketchup to cover up the taste of heaps of meat, this meatloaf uses bread, cream, and cheese to accentuate the taste of a beef/pork/veal mixture. It's a rolled meatloaf, meaning you create the meatloaf exterior and then roll it around the insides, making the final output a series of layers. I've made it several times for friends and dinner parties, always to rave reviews.

Ingredients:

Meat Mixture
1 small white onion, minced
2 garlic cloves, minced
6-8 fresh basil leaves; minced
2 large eggs, slightly beaten
1/8 tsp salt
1/8 tsp black pepper
8-10 drops Worcestershire sauce
2½ lbs ground beef
1¼ lbs ground veal
¾ lb ground mild pork sausage
Editor's note: You can modify the meat mixture to taste. I've also used a beef/turkey/pork mixture, a beef/lamb/pork mixture and, for smaller loafs, just a beef/pork mixture. I'm a fan of very lean beef for health reasons, but the higher-fat beef does give it a bit more flavor

Filling
½ small loaf sour-dough French bread
½ cup half and half or full cream
1 cup crumbled bleu cheese
3 tbsp minced fresh parsley

Preparation Instructions
First, create your meat mixture. In a large bowl, combine the various types of meat, adding in the onions, garlic, salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, basil, and eggs. Making meatloaf requires getting dirty. Wash your hands and then mix the meat up thoroughly by kneading through it with your hands. This will take some effort, but is worth it -- otherwise you'll end up with the beef, pork, and veal all in different parts of the meatloaf.

Next, lay down a strip of about 12 inches of wax paper or aluminum foil. Pull the meat out of the bowl and flatten it out on the foil. It should be about 1/3" thick, a little smaller than the width of the foil, and extend, well, until you run out of meat. Keep two small pieces of meat aside.

Now, find a long pan (a baking pan will do). Then, slide the French bread lengthwise so that you've got the crust and some soft bread. Pour half-and-half or cream in the bottom of the pan and then lay the bread on top of the half-and-half. Press the bread downwards so it sucks up all the cream. Take the bread and lay it on top of the meat. Repeat this with the remaining pieces of the bread until the meat is covered. Leave about a quarter inch on each side of the bread, as you'll want to be able to seal the meat when you're finished. Next, take crumbled blue cheese and spread it out on top of the meat. Add parsley (I've also used rosemary, which adds some nice flavor).

Now for the fun part. You want to roll the meatloaf up. Starting on one end, use the paper to roll the meatloaf, as if you were rolling up a newspaper. Keep it pretty tight, if you can. You want it to look like a cake roll. When you're finished, seal the two ends of the meatloaf using the extra meat you kept around.

Place the meatloaf on a lightly oiled cookie sheet. Cook in a pre-heated 375 degree oven for approximately one hour (depending on the size of the meatloaf). Let stand for 10-15 minutes before serving.

And let us know if you try it!

Seeking Quality Andouille & Gumbo Recipes

From the DCFUD mailbox, a reader writes in with an important question:

I have to make a big New Orleans dinner for a fundraiser. Do you know where I can buy good andouille in DC? Is there a bakery that sells beignets and King Cake? And can a gumbo or jambalaya be made ahead of time, in whole or part? Any information you might want to share would be so much appreciated - the fundraiser is for my son, who lost his house, car, everything but the shirt off his back.

For andouille, we recommend checking out Whole Foods or Wegmans. As for a gumbo or jambalaya recipe, we don't have any great ones, but we bet some of our readers have some great recipes and recommendations.

As for us, whenever we're craving jambalaya, gumbo, or beignets, we head over to the best creole restaurant in the city, if not on the entire east coast: Bardia's New Orleans Cafe. I'd imagine they'd be happy to sell their beignets and jambalaya in bulk, especially for a fund raiser. Bardia's is located at 2412 18th Street NW in Adams Morgan, and they can be reached at 202-234-0420.

Any other suggestions out there from our readers? Feel free to post in the comments below or, if you'd rather, contact us directly via email.

Image courtesy The Georgetown Hoya.

Fried Apple Pie

It's that time of year where we get a whiff of fall. This leads to one of my favorite activites - apple picking. We go to Homestead Farm in Poolesville, MD off River Road and get a haul of Golden Delicious (appropriately named), Jonathan, and Granny Smith apples. All good for cobblers, applesauce and, of course, fried pies.

For anyone who harbors the illusion that I am a sophistimacated foodie, I have this recipe to offer - fried apple pie. My first taste of a true fried pie was in Dollywood where they were the size of dinner plates. My arteries are still recovering. It was the perfect cross between pie and doughnut. Since DC is hardly the fried pie capitol of the world, I needed to figure out how to make my own or go without until our next Dollywood trip.

Thank god for Paula Deen, grand empress of tacky Southern food. Literally a week after the infamous Dollywood trip, there was a recipe for fried pie on Paula's Home Cooking. It lived up to all of my fried pie memories.

I'd have to say that this is truly in the top ten of trashy food I have made. It uses a canned biscuit dough for heaven's sake.

Fried Pies
1 canned flaky biscuit dough (should have 8 biscuits)
5 firm apples (Granny Smith, Courtland) peeled and chopped in to 1 inch chunks
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
1 tablespoon cornstarch
Raisins or dried cranberries (optional)
Vegetable oil

Mix the apples, sugar, cinnamon, and lemon juice in a bowl. Toss thoroughly and add the cornstarch. Simmer under low heat until apples are soft and have given up some of their juices. Pour of out some of the juices.

Roll out the biscuit dough until 1/2 inch thick. Spoon about 2 tablespoons of the apple mixture onto the circle of dough. Brush the edge with water and fold over in half. Press the edge with a fork to seal.

Deep fry in hot oil unto golden brown. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. Eat. Resolve to eat salad and sushi for the next week.

Impromptorta

A couple weekends ago, I was puppy sitting my parents new dog, Winston. Stuck in the far reaches of Upper Northwest, and isolated from my usual weekend activities (OK, fine, that mostly means cleaning my apartment, but still), I decided, at the last minute as usual, to bring the fun to me and have people over to cook brunch.

WRC and EJG arrived with fixings to make plum pancakes with blueberry sauce, JK with salad and roasting peppers, SNH with corn for grilling, PL with assorted pastries, NM and MA with requisite beverages. I had not planned so much as bought things that looked like a good idea: Ricotta Saltada and Niçoise olives in Herbes de Provence from Whole Foods, eggs and cream (from the Giant). As the others cooked, PL and I schemed the fate of said orphan ingredients.

Omlettes were going to be much too much of a hassle, and not very interesting, so I thought that perhaps we could fake a Spanish-style torta - like the ones I’d loved so much in Sevilla last year, only minus the potatoes. What we did:

9 eggs
½ cup heavy cream
½ cup milk
Chopped Niçoise olives in herbes de Provence
Ricotta Saltada, shaved.
3 large cherry tomatoes, chopped.
Tarragon
Savory
Black Pepper
Nutmeg (ONLY A PINCH!)

Bake at 400 for about 30 minutes.

The result was yummy, but probably too sweet. This could be corrected by using light instead of heavy cream, or by omitting the tomatoes. I feel like the latter might be a good idea, but it needs a non-salty flavor, and I'm not sure what would be better. Onions? Spinach? Hmmm......

This is why I love experimental cuisine.

FGT

I'm feeling rather smug today. You see, I woke up unconscionably early yesterday (Sunday) morning - 9AM, having gone to bed at 3! - and decided that the thing to do was go to the Dupont farmers market for fresh plant-based goodness. As I approached the first stand, I could hear their bright green goodness calling my name, beckoning to my then-less-than-now cholesterol-coated heart strings.

I knew I was trapped, so I just went along for the ride. I called my mom and told her that (a) I was coming for dinner, and (b) we were having fried green tomatoes. My parents house, you see, is where all my serious cooking happens these days: they have an awesome kitchen, while I have a toaster oven.

After a ridiculously long wait, the 90 bus finally came to take me up North. Scouring my parents' cookbook collection, I found but one recipe for this vaunted staple of American cuisine, and this was quickly rejected, as it involved mayonnaise. So I thought about what I wanted from the dish, and how I felt it should taste. A quick trip to the store for supplies, and the experiment began:

Green tomatoes
Salt
1 cup corn meal
1 tablespoon flour
Freshly ground pepper, to taste (I used quite a bit)
Buttermilk
Brown sugar
Oil.

- Slice the tomatoes into rounds, just under 1/2 inch thick, lay out on a plate.
- Salt them, not too heavily but a good bit on each tomato.
- Let sit 30 minutes (this draws out the juices)
- Make batter by mixing Corn meal, flour, and pepper in a wide bowl
- Pour buttermilk into another bowl
- In a large cast iron skillet, heat oil as hot as it gets
- Dip each tomato slice in buttermilk and then dredge in the batter
- Fry. About 2 minutes on a side, then 2 minutes on the other, then again on the first, etc. about 10 minutes. You want them to be still gooey in the middle.
- Remove from pan, place on a paper towel and immediately sprinkle with a TINY BIT of brown sugar.
- Do the next batch.

Be sure to do these in batches. Unless you keep your pan very well seasoned, the first batch won't work.

I ended up eating them with hot sauce (I would have added Cayenne to the batter, but my grandmother does not eat Cayenne), and I'm feeling a bit smug about this dish. It was really good.

For the true Connoisseur

This post is by South Australian guest blogger Brooke, Age 13. Thanks Brooke!

There is a great new application out for Mac called Connoisseur, a cooking program which can do almost anything apart from cook. It is remarkably similar to iTunes, for those who are familiar to iTunes.

It can automatically alter the amounts of ingredients for a recipe to suit the serving size and amount. There is also a feature that when you select a recipe and click 'shopping list' will automatically display a window with the shopping items that you need for the recipe.

There is an inbuilt online browsing feature and this lets you select and download from hundreds of recipes online all for free. You can also import your own recipies but I found this a bit slow and it took me around 10 minutes to input one recipe. You can also select a recipe to be read out to you by your computer and it will read out the instructions for the recipe to you.

I rate this software 4 and a half star, a must for Mac users.

This Software is available to download for free HERE.

In Praise of Curry Paste

So J and I were at the Eden Center stocking up on all of the Asian ingredients we can't access from Whole Foods or Safeway and we start talking about our need for a good curry paste. We're looking for a curry paste with a deeper flavor than Thai Kitchen and less heat. And this little old Laotian lady comes up to us and tells us to get the Thai Mae Ploy Mussaman curry paste. It appears that she thinks the picture of the Thai lady on the jar is trustworthy. She tells us that she uses this at home. As I am used to following the orders of little ladies from Southeast Asia (Thank's Mom!), I do what I'm told.

And of course the little old Lao lady is right. It's a great curry paste, with a strong flavor of both chili pepper and lemongrass. I use it for everything now. One of my fav dishes using this key ingredient is Satay chicken. This has a been a reliable party item as it can be served room temperature and can be made ahead of time.

Satay Chicken
1/4 cup nuoc mam
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup Thai Mae Ploy Massaman Curry paste
1 teaspoon sesame oil
2 pounds of those chicken tenderloins (that you use for making chicken strips), cut in half

Throw all of the ingredients into a large ziploc bag and marinate at least an hour and preferably overnight. You can even freeze the bag and thaw for later use. In a nonstick skillet, pour a thin layer of oil and let it get hot. Sear the chicken on both sides. Place chicken on a foil covered cookie sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for about 10 minutes. Cover with a top layer of foil until cool. Place chicken pieces on skewers. Serve with peanut sauce.

Peanut Sauce
1 can of coconut milk
3 tablespoons Thai Curry paste
1 tablespoon nuoc mam
1 tablespoon honey or maple syrup

Throw everything into a saucepan. Simmer until thickens and combined. This is just a guideline. Adjust flavors as needed.

Experimental Slaw

Summer is coming to an end, and considering the awful humidity and the fact that it no longer means vacation for me, I am thrilled.

Except, of course, that it means the days of cookouts and picnics will soon end as well, and I do love me some barbeque. A staple of the American cookout or picnic is cole slaw - a dish I must admit I really love.

The best I ever had was, confusingly, at a restau cafe shack on the island of Anegada in the
BVI's. I remember it being a bit spicy, and loving it.

Earlier this summer, I was preparing to go to a barbeque, and had decided to make cole slaw - something I had not previously attempted. I bought pre-shredded cabbage (as I'm lazy), and followed the recipie on the bag. Borrrrrrinnnggg. I rummaged around my kitchen, and found a few things that seemed like they might be good additions: serrano peppers and caraway seeds. I edited my slaw, and headed to the party. I thought it was really good, but then, I like things spicy; others thought it was too much.

Some consideration and weeks later, I found myself again making cole slaw for a barbeque, and again with only the dull back-of-bag recipie. This time, I went in a different direction - letting summer in the
Carribbean color my imaginings. This time, I used cherry peppers (not as hot as serrano), vidalia onion instead of white, allspice, white pepper, and much less caraway. The result tasted good to me, and seemed to be a hit (or at least quickly consumed) at the party.

The two recipies are below, with estimates of what I used (I guess that makes them 'guidelines' as opposed to 'recipies,' whatever):

1 lb. bag of Fresh Express 3-color coleslaw (green cabbage, carrots, red cabbage)
1/2 white onion, minced in food processor
4 Serrano peppers, minced (I used a food processor)
.75 tbs. caraway seeds – bruised but not ground with pestle
3 tbs. lemon juice
3 tbs. mayonnaise
2 tbs. red wine vinegar
1 tbs. salt
3.5 tbs. pepper
1 tbs. garlic salt

----------------------

1 lb. bag of Fresh Express 3-color coleslaw (green cabbage, carrots, red cabbage)
3 hot cherry peppers, minced (I used a food processor)
1/2 vidalia onion, minced in food processor
1 tsp. caraway seeds – bruised but not ground with pestle
2 tbs allspice seeds, crushed with mortar and pestle
3 tbs. lemon juice
3 tbs. mayonnaise
3 tbs. red wine vinegar
1 tbs. salt
2 tbs. white pepper

Putting a damper on things

No one but the phlegmatic English could have invented something as obnoxiously bland as Yorkshire pudding, and tapas could only come from a culture that needed to support the late-night Spanish drinking habit. No early Japanese foody would ever tolerate a cuisine less obsessively anal than sushi.

Which is why it’s unsurprising that the few truly authentic Australian foods all require beer. After all, they are all invented by Australians, a bunch of lanky crocodile wrestlers who nightly drink me under the table with Carleton Draft, Toohey’s New, and Victoria Bitter. That’s not true actually; some of them wrestle emus instead.

While camping in Kings Canyon (of 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’ fame) our bushman guide started with a bowl gripped between his knees, filled with flour. No, wait, first he got a stubby out of the esky and knocked back half of it. There was a hose with running water, so that got sprayed into the bowl for a bit, as did all the remaining beer. He kneaded it a few times, formed it into a round shape, stuck it in a black cast-iron pot, and buried it under the coals of our camp fire with a big-assed shovel.

About forty five minutes later we had a really decent loaf of heavy, crusty bread to go with our dinner of beer, more beer, and a different type of beer.

Here’s a slightly less authentic recipe.

Australian Cattleman’s Damper Bread
Preheat the oven to 350. Stir together 3 cups of all-purpose flour, 3 teaspoons of double acting baking powder, a teaspoon of salt, and 2 teaspoons of sugar. Then mix in 24 ounces of beer. That’s important.

Spoon the whole thing into a greased pan, smooth the top (and maybe dust with some flour if you’re feeling posh). Bake it for an hour until the top looks golden brown. Rip off chunks and shove in mouth.

Eggplant: The New Chicken?

My friend Margeau, much to our amusement, is always saying that lobster is the new chicken. My friend Margeau also, fortunately, has a wealthy boyfriend that keeps her lobster cravings satiated.

For those of us on a budget, we can’t upscale our diets quite so easily. But my weekend experiences with a particular plant have led me to believe that maybe, just maybe…eggplant is the new chicken?

First it was the stir fry. The little wedges of the purple plant that I sliced up and threw into my mixture of pork and endamame were a delightful, hearty accompaniment. I had some eggplant leftover by Sunday, so I decided to make quick-eggplant Parm with the rest. Since I’m on a pseudo-diet, I had to lighten the recipe a little, but it still was satisfying. And still is today, as I scarf down the leftovers for lunch.

Quick Eggplant Stir-fry

1/2 red onion
a couple cloves garlic
a handful chopped pork tenderloin or 1 boneless pork chop, sliced into small pieces
handful of basil leaves, chopped
soy sauce
1 cup chicken broth
corn starch
some mushrooms, sliced
1/2 cup endamame, frozen (avaiable at Trader Joe's)
red pepper flakes
some broccoli florettes
ginger, peeled and diced (or powdered works)
salt and pepper
sesame oil

Heat oil in skillet or wok. Sautee onion and garlic until onion is transluscent. Season pork and mushrooms with salt, pepper, red pepper and ginger. Add to stir fry along with eggplant and sautee until cooked through.

Add some soy sauce into the mix, to taste - cook for two more minutes.

Add one cup chicken broth, as well as the broccoli and endamame. Bring to boil; cover with lid for five minutes.

Make a paste with cornstarch and a little water. Add to sauce to thicken. Serve over chow mein noodles.

Quicker Eggplant Parmesan

1 eggplant, peeled and cut into round disks
1-2 egg whites
bread crumbs
some homemade tomato sauce from the freezer (or from a jar, for the less ambitious)
some part-skim mozzarella cheese, slimmed
Pam
Italian seasoning, or your own mix of basil, oregano, and the usual suspects
milk
salt and pepper

(As I said, this dish has been "healthified" to suit my resolution. Those not watching their calories should feel free to not skimp on the cheese, use olive oil and egg yolks, and do all those other calorie-adding steps that make it taste even better.)

Preheat oven to 400. Beat egg whites with a bit of milk, briefly, to make a wash. Coat skillet with cooking spray. Dip eggplant circles first in egg wash, then coat each side lightly with bread crumbs. Season with salt and seasonings and add to skillet. Brown on each side.

Start layering eggplant in baking dish. Put down a layer of eggplant, then two spoonfulls of sauce on each piece, then a sprinkling of mozzarella. Repeat.

Bake in oven for 20 minutes or until eggplant is golden and tender.

Fiddlin' with the cobbler

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a control freak. I do need to do things MY way. This ends up being true with recipes. I change them to fit my quirks and idiosyncrasies all the time.

So one night, some of J's co-workers are coming over for dinner. They are bringing a fabulous salad and we'll be tossing some homemade pesto (that I made and froze) with some pasta. Salad and entrée done. I simply cannot have a dinner party (such that it is) without dessert.

I look for a cobbler recipe since they are fairly easy to assemble. Being the control freak I am, I don't want just any old cobbler, I want the cakey kind. There are two kinds of cobbler, the biscuit kind that has what is essentially a scone dough floating on top of the fruit, and the cakey kind where the cakelike batter oozes down into the fruit and marries it into a fruit cakey mess of goodness. I find the following recipe on Epicurious.

For filling
1 stick butter
1 teaspoon lemon juice
4 cups fresh blueberries, rinsed and drained
1 cup sugar

For topping
1 cup self-rising flour
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla flavoring
1/2 cup of milk
Accompaniment: Fresh whipped cream or vanilla ice cream

To prepare the filling:
Preheat oven to 375°F. Place the butter in an 8 x 8-inch square glass baking dish (no substitutes), and melt the butter in the microwave. In a mixing bowl, combine lemon juice and blueberries. Add the sugar and mix well. Add the blueberry mixture to the baking dish with the melted butter. Do not stir.

Make topping:
Combine all of the topping ingredients in a small bowl. Pour this mixture over the blueberries and bake 45 minutes, or until brown. This recipe is also good for apples, blackberries, and peaches.

A STICK of butter? A CUP of sugar in the fruit? The poor fruit will be doing the backstroke in a pool of sugary butter? I promptly cut the amount of butter and sugar in the fruit by half and cut the sugar in the topping by a third. Along with the lemon juice in the filling, I add a dash of REAL vanilla. I also add a half a teaspoon of cinnamon in the topping batter for added flavor.

I crossed my fingers about this because I changed the recipe fairly radically. It turned out wonderfully. Tasting a piece of the topping without the fruit, I actually thought I could have cut the amount of sugar in half, not just by a third. While it's not always advisable to play with recipes when it comes to baking, my control freak mind can't help but tinker with a recipe.

What's Your Signature Dish?

Most of us have a signature recipe. You know, that one thing we know we're good at making, which we can bring to a party and rest assured will be gobbled up in seconds. I'm thinking of my Aunt Barb's southwestern dip, my friend Eve's roast beef & yorkshire pudding, my mom's "Death By Chocolate" concoction.

I have more of a signature ingredient: bacon. My friends tease me for incorporating the heart-clogging ingredient into nearly everything I make. I've stated here before that I firmly believe bacon makes everything better, and I've yet to be proven wrong (though a friend once led me to an article mentioning the bacon martini, which could be the lone exception to the rule). One day, my all-bacon cookbook will fly off the shelves at Barnes & Noble.

The easiest (and probably most popular) bacon dish I can always throw together at the last minute is rumaki, one of the few dishes my mother passed down to me that I haven't tinkered with aggressively. It's ridiculously simple, and despite water chestnuts not being an ingredient the general populace is usually clamoring for, I bet 10-to-1 you'll have party guests complaining you didn't make enough of these one-bite treats.

Rumaki

Toothpicks
*1 can whole water chestnuts
1 package bacon
soy sauce
honey
brown sugar

Soak toothpicks in water for ½ hour. Set oven to broil,

Drain can in water chestnuts (if you want, you can slice them in half if you like a less chestnut-heavy taste). Soak in soy sauce while working. Slice bacon pieces into thirds. Brush honey onto bacon, and sprinkle with brown sugar. Wrap chestnuts in bacon. Add a bit more soy. Stick a toothpick through each wrapped chestbut. Broil until bacon is crisp. Sprinkle with a bit more brown sugar and serve.

*I've seen recipes which substitute chicken livers for the water chestnuts, but I can't see that being an improvement.

Hideko's Magical Lemonade

This entry was written by guest contributor PKG

A few summers ago I was a member of the Crystal City runners, and we used to meet on Wednesday evenings at a big condo across from Reagan National Airport. After the five mile runs, we would sit in front of a fountain and consume refreshments. A young Japanese couple belonged to the group; the husband was attending graduate school at GWU. The wife, Hideko, would bring a bottle of a mysterious lemon concentrate and some paper cups. She would then pour each of us a small amount of the lemon concentrate, and then she would cut it with water and hand a cup to each of us. The rest of Crystal City runners began calling it our lemon elixir.

After a few weeks, I began to get curious about this lemon elixir. I asked Hideko to tell me the recipe. Hideko had a shaky command of English, and when she told me that it consisted of only lemons and honey, I thought that I had misinterpretated her, because I could taste no honey in it. Now when I make Hideko's Magical lemonade for guests, I always ask if anyone can guess the ingredients: no one has ever guessed honey.

Three items are needed to make HML: 3.5 lbs of lemons, one 32 ounce (2 lbs) jar of honey, and a medium sized Tupperware container (roughly 7" in diameter and 5" deep).

Slice the lemons thinly, about 1/8 inch if possible. Discard the ends of the lemons and as many seeds as you have patience to pick out. Layer the lemon slices in the Tupperware container until full. Next, pour the honey on top of the lemon slices. It takes several minutes for the viscous honey to fill the spaces among the lemon slices. Once the Tupperware container is filled with a solid mass of lemon slices and honey, seal tightly and place the Tupperware container in the fridge. It takes 6 to 8 hours for a magical chemical process to completely turn the lemon slices and honey into the lemon concentrate. After about 3 or 4 hours, flip the Tupperware container so that it's laying on its top.

After the chemical process is complete, strain the resulting lemon concentrate, which will be much less viscous than the honey. You will have ~3.5 cups. I like to make homemade lemon soda with it by cutting the lemon concentrate with 3 or 4 parts sparkling water and stirring vigorously. Store the remaining lemon concentrate in the empty honey jar and enjoy.

I suppose that any citrus fruit can be treated in a similar manner, so there's a lot more experimenting with this technique yet to do. I'm planning an experiment in the future to reuse the old lemon slices in a broth for poaching chicken.

Krispy Creme Brulée

Is there a god? Are we the only life out in the universe? Why are we here? These are all questions that humankind sturggles with every day. Here's another - Can you improve upon a Kripy Kreme doughnut?

Paula Deen says she can, but her recipe requires that you drown said Krispy Kremes in eggs, condensed milk and fruit cocktail. That's an improvement?

I have my own answer to that eternal question. Krispy Kreme brulée. It turns an already crazy good dessert into something that reaches foodgasmic proportions. This is an excellent way to revive a stale glazed doughnut.

In a nonstick pan put the tiniest sliver of butter you can possibly cut. Turn the burner onto low heat and spread the butter to cover the surface area of a doughnut. Place the Original Glazed Krispy Kreme on the buttered area and heat until the glaze melts. This should take 1 to two minutes. Flip over and repeat.

By the time the bottom side has melted, the top side should have hardened into a texture that resembles the hard sugar top of creme brulee. Place the doughnut on a plate hard side down. Wait a minute or so for the top to harden. Eat immediately, preferably with a glass of milk.

I would almost call this diet food because you can only eat one of these suckers at a time and you will not be able to look at another dessert for at least a month.

--This entry was written by guest contributor TCD, one of the brains behind the DC Food Blog.

Reddish Summer

For me, iced tea defines warm weather. In my house growing up, the first really warm, sunny day of spring meant a big glass jug of water and tea bags went out on the front porch, and came back, poured over ice, as the first hint of summer. There’s sweet tea too, but that was always a not-at-home treat, as my parents (and now me) are not big on keeping sweets in the house.

Over the years, the recipe has evolved, from early years of Red Label or Orange Pekoe, to the high school staple of 50-50 Earl Grey and Darjeeling, to my collegiate blends of gunpowder and jasmine. Today, I made my first jug. That is, the first jug I’ve made in my own jug on my own stoop. Consequently, I decided to try a new recipe.

I used:

1 L purified water, in a glass pitcher
2 bags Ten Ren Hibiscus Spice tea
4 bags Twinings Darjeeling tea.

Put in sun for three hours. This mix has the sweet, citrusy flavor of hibiscus without being overpowering, although next time I think I’ll add another bag of that if for no reason other than getting more of its amazing crimson color.

Experimental Biryani

I explored the new Tivoli Giant last week, and while there I called RJ to tell him he had to come by. He did.

One of the many things I bought on my trip was a jar of Jaipur Biryani paste, because well, it sounded good. The instructions on the jar involve frying chicken and tomatoes and onions, which was just not what I wanted to do this afternoon. This all in mind, I made my trip to the Soviet Safeway for more ingredients, and came home with about 1.75 pounds of chicken drumsticks and no further ideas. So, I looked around my kitchen, and found a couple of sweet potatoes. Wrc had suggested broiling chicken and potatoes with biryani to me a while back, so I decided to give it a shot.

First, I peeled and sliced the potatoes into circles, about ½ inch thick. I oiled them and spread about a total of 1.5 teaspoons of the biryani paste over them. It smelled good, but I wanted more, so I ground up about 8 allspice seeds and sprinkled that over top. I threw them in the oven at high heat for about five minutes (uncovered), as I gave approximately the same pre-treatment to the chicken. The chicken got salt and pepper instead of allspice.

I added the drumsticks to the potatoes, mixed it all around, adding some olive oil to the preparation dish to dissolve the remaining biryani, and pouring that over the chicken and potatoes. Now I switched the oven to broil, covered the dish with foil, and put it in on the top shelf. Flip the chicken and stir after 15 minutes. Cook another 20.

This turned out really tasty, but there are a couple things I’ll do differently next time: buy some naan, use better actually good quality chicken (i.e., not from the Soviet Safeway), add broccoli or cauliflower, and add more allspice and hot pepper.

Ecto Pie

When it comes to the cook v.s. baker dichotomy, I definitely fall in the "cook" category. I have nothing but disdain for this "measuring" thing people always talk about. I'm not good with things like electric mixers. I don't own a rolling pin, and try to make pies using a Pam can instead. I don't even like dessert.

But since I'm competent in the kitchen, there invariably comes a time when I'm asked to bring dessert to a party, bbq or other gathering. I dread it, but also tend to accept the challenge rather than showing up with a frozen pie or box of Entenmann's.

My biggest problem is the whole appearance thing. Chalk it up to my lack of artistic talent, my klutziness or my impatience, but while my desserts usually taste reasonably good, they tend to look, well, kind of unappetizing.

The double-layer Key Lime pies I made for two friends' bbqs last weekend were no exception. Adapting a recipe I saw once in Gourmet magazine, the pies certainly were impressive on the effort scale; there were homemade crusts, custards and cheesecake-like concoctions with which to contend. And I could tell as I tasted my progress that they were going to be yummy in the end. The problem? They were ugly.

My first thought was to use decorative whipped cream to make amends. Perhaps some green food coloring would add a touch of whimsy to the pies' appearance. Not so much. I even tried adding a layer of kiwi fruit to mask the disastrous results, but there was no salvaging things. The Slimer-reminiscent result could only be known as Ecto Pie.

Still, you couldn't say the dessert wasn't a conversation piece, and it still turned out delicious. Here's the recipe, but for those who can manage to whip up a picturesque pie, leave the layer of whipped cream and fruit out of it.

Ecto Pie
(adapted from Two-Layer Key Lime Pie from Gourmet magazine)

a little less than 1 cup granola (regular – avoid anything with
raisins or fruit)
the same amount of graham cracker crumbs
1 stick unsalted butter
1 cans plus ½ cup sweetened condensed milk
some sugar
about a cup of Key Lime juice
3 large egg yolks
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
a touch of vanilla extract
some whipped cream
Green food coloring
Two kiwis

Preheat your oven to 350. Blend granola in food processor. Mix with granola, along with about a half stick of unsalted butter and a touch of sugar. Press into pie pan, and bake until brown (8 minutesish). Let cool.

While your crust is cooking, whisk together 1 can of condensed milk, about a half cup of lime juice and the egg yolks. Poor into cooled crush and bake until the custard is set (around 25 minutes). Cool until about room temperature.

Beat cream cheese, ½ cup of condensed milk, about a quarter cup lime juice, a bit of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla with electric mixer. Poor over baked layer and smooth top. Refrigerate for four hours or overnight.

Whimsical Option: Mix food coloring with whipped cream and spread over top. Slice two kiwis and layer over pie. Prepare to be mocked by your friends.

Cook and Tell: Chick Pea Burger with Tahini Sauce

When I was living in New York and strapped for cash, one of the pleasures worth setting aside a little money for was brunch at Kitchenette. During the week I dreamed of fluffy scrambled eggs, perfect triangles of toast with strawberry butter, fresh squeezed orange juice and home fries. If I was feeling really indulgent, I would get dessert -- like their chocolate cupcakes with the white curlicue of icing just like Hostess does, but so much better. I spend so many great weekend mornings at Kitchenette that I decided to buy their cookbook.

The little spiral-bound volume is now a kitchen veteran, covered in oil splatters, cake batter and shortening. I've cooked a number of recipes and all have proven to be rib-sticking good. For the hotter weather, I whipped up Kitchenette's Chick Pea Burger with Tahini Sauce. If you have a food processor, this recipe is easy to prepare ahead of time and doesn't require a lot of laboring over a grill. The recipe is also flexible if you want to substitute other veggies in the burger, just make sure you cook out any excess moisture. Doll up your burger with some fresh summer tomatoes, lettuce and some warm pita bread, and voila! -- veggie delight. My only complaint is that the provided recipe for tahini sauce is bland. Instead, I recommend Gourmet's souped up version which gives the extra kick this recipe needs to be truly taste-bud pleasing.

Chick Pea Burger with Tahini Sauce
From Kitchenette: Recipes From Our Kitchen
By Lisa Hall and Ann Nickinson
Makes 4 burgers

4 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1/2 teaspoon chopped garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup sliced mushrooms
4 oz. fresh spinach, cleaned and chopped
2 14 3/4 oz. cans chick peas, drained
1/2 cup tahini mixed with equal parts water plus 1 tablespoon lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste
4 pieces pita bread
4 large leaves red of green leaf lettuce
4 tomato slices

Place 2 tablespoons oil in medium saut� pan. Add onions, celery, garlic and seasonings. Cook over medium heat 10-12 minutes until vegetables are tender. Add mushrooms and cook 5-10 minutes longer until mushrooms are also tender. Stir in spinach and cook until wilted. Remove from heat and cool. Process drained chick peas in food processor (or use potato masher). Place in mixing bowl and stir in cooked ingredients until well combined. Form mixture into 4 burgers. Meanwhile heat remaining oil in large saut� pan. Place burgers in pan and cook about 8-10 minutes on each side until golden brown. Split pita bread open and place one burger in each pocket with lettuce and tomato slices. Serve tahini sauce on side.

Risotto Self Improvement

Patience is not one of my virtues. A good MJF-impression probably involves the person standing with their arms crossed and their foot tapping, glaring at a companion in the hopes they�ll "hurry up." So when I told my friends I�d be tackling risotto for a dinner gathering, they were more than a little skeptical. Was it masochism? Was it a self-improvement gesture designed to reform my impatient ways? Nah; I just had a craving for comfort food.

Risotto is an Italian dish where the rice is cooked slowly in stock until it achieves a creamy consistency. Mushrooms, peas and herbs are common accessories to the course. For those of us with a tendency to wander away from the stove to check our email, chat on our cell phones or find out what Rory�s babbling about on "Gilmore Girls," risotto is not necessarily our dish of expertise. It�s not a difficult thing to make, but it requires constant attention for about a half hour. Your focus will be rewarded � it�s an impressive, delicious and inexpensive dish which can be easily customized and works well as a side dish or an entr�e. It�s great to cook for a group of friends, so you can bully them into the kitchen to entertain you as you make it, or force them to trade off on stirring duty.

Some general risotto tips:
1. Use Arborio rice (often labeled "risotto rice" if you buy it at the Giant) � it does the best job of maintaining its consistency and holding the flavor.
2. ADD LIQUID SLOWLY. As you�re adding stock to your risotto, do it a ladle-full as a time. Only when all the stock is absorbed do you add another ladleful. The whole process takes 15 minutes minimum. Also, make sure the stock is heated before you start adding.
3. Do NOT WALK AWAY. Really, you have to stir the thing at least every 30 seconds for it to come out correctly. But stir gently � you�re not making gruel.

Everything else is common sense. Fresh herbs over dried herbs, homemade stock over canned. Otherwise, for your ingredients, just use your imagination � from seafood to squash to saffron. It�s a dish that can be vegetarian friendly (for mine, just substitute in veggy broth), and also can make great use of refrigerator leftovers. The recipe I provide for you is for a mushroom and lemon risotto, inspired by a recipe in The Cook�s Encyclopedia of Vegetarian Cooking.

8 oz leeks or scallions, chopped
8 oz cremini mushrooms (though many other types will do), cleaned and chopped
some olive oil
handful of garlic cloves, crushed
about 6 tablespoons of butter
1 red onion, chopped
1 � cup Arborio rice
5 cups chicken stock OR 4 cups stock, 1 cup white wine. If using canned stock, substitute one cup water for one of the cups of stock
zest and juice of one lemon
handful each of chopped chives, parsley and thyme
salt and pepper
2/3 cup Romano or Parmesan cheese

Heat oil in large saucepan. Sautee garlic, leeks, and mushrooms (season as needed) for about 10 minutes. Remove from pan and set aside.

Add some of the butter to the pan, and saut� your onion for around 5 minutes. Add rice and cook for a minute. Warm up your stock on the stove or microwave.

Now start adding your stock (heat should be on medium), ladle by ladle. As all the liquid is absorbed , add another ladle of liquid until you�re out of it. If using wine, make that your first ladle-full. Start tasting after 15 minutes, but the process should take around 20 minutes � the rice should have an al dente taste and a creamy textur